Baby Doll : Part 3 : My Blood
by Lady Blackwater
Summary: Love. Hate. Trust. Faith. Angst. Death. Life. Change. Will-Power. Strength. Tears aren't the only thing that will be shed. The third and final installment of The Baby Doll Trilogy.
1. The Bride

**A/N You demanded it. It's here. Review. Make me feel something on the inside. **

_Bridezilla (brih-d-zill-uh)_

_(noun) _

_Formed from blending of the words bride and Godzilla, the iconic Japanese movie monster that wreaked havoc upon the citizens of Japan, in the movie of the same name. The term is used to describe a woman whose behavior becomes -usually temporary- outrageously bad in the course of planning for her wedding._

If that definition were correct than Leah was ten times a Bridezilla.

It was expected of her so I don't know why everyone was so surprised. Yes, since getting engaged, Leah has been a bit nicer but not even I, Jacob Black the adoring fiance, could change her attitude. She held her temper for as long as she could till three weeks before the wedding. After that, she couldn't resist being her usual self.

Not even Alice or Bella was safe in her wrath The only one who didn't have to deal with her bullshit was Baby Doll. Besides her, it's every man for themselves.

She rarely snapped at me but when she did, it was harsh. I didn't take it personally because I knew she was under a lot of pressure and stressing big time. I had to keep reminding myself of that and her nurturing hormones. It took all the strength in me not to snap right back at her.

Like when we were practicing our first dance and I accidentally stepped on her toe, she lost all sanity.

"If there is a Jesus up in heaven, may he please send me a fiance who doesn't have two left fucking feet? In the Lord's name I pray, Amen."

I tried apologizing but that got her even angrier.

That's when she began stomping around and demonstrating the footwork for me with long, exaggerated pronunciation as if I were on the slow side. She ended up scaring Bronx enough to have him hiding in the sofa cushions.

I told her I understood but she just rolled her eyes and began our song again.

When I stepped on her toe again, she does the same thing as before- just a million times worse.

"Are you stupid or just doing it to piss me off? I kinda think you're doing it to piss me the fuck off cus in all honesty, you like making me crazy, don't you?! Don't tell me you can't do a simple one two step cus if you can do the electric slide, I'm pretty damn sure you can do two little steps and a twirl for a few minutes!"

And God, she was so damn beautiful.

Especially when she took the CD out of the stereo system, snapped it into two while growling "Just fuck it," and slamming our screen door as she exited to the backyard.

I didn't know how to respond so I left her to be alone. She seemed like she wanted to tend to herself.

But our wedding party wasn't the only victims of her abuse. Outsiders weren't so safe either.

For example, when she went to get her self designed, customized reception dress fitted, the seamstress made a few mistakes in terms of her choice of words.

"It doesn't..._fit_," she informs Leah in her heavy Russian accent when she begins to struggle with the zipper.

Leah's bridal party, Baby Doll and I all freeze and our eyes zoomed in on her face when those oh so wrong words left her lips. We slowly back away when her own pupils dilate when she takes a glare into her reflection. We're all silent as she looked herself up and down in the mirror, her dress halfway zipped and stuck just down the middle of her ass.

"Excuse me?" She said through grit teeth and her stare doesn't leave her own reflection.

"It doesn't fit."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"No! Of course not! The zipper is just...stuck." She struggled to get the teeth to zip together but it doesn't budge.

"Then get it unstuck."

"I can't."

Leah rolls her eyes and shuts them. "How in the hell does the dress _not _ fit? I designed this myself according to my body type and I'm pretty sure I gave you my correct measurements. I haven't gained a pound since then."

She struggled not to yell. Her jaw was clenched.

"It won't-"

"Before you say another goddamn word, keep in mind that I have very little patience. Either you make the damn dress zip up right now or we will have a major problem."

At this point, Alice intervenes and tries the zipper. Using all of her vampire strength, the zip moved two inches just below Leah's crack.

"Bella, you try cus I'm two seconds away from flipping my shit over this dress."

After Bella tried and could only move it a few centimeters, the evil in her hazel eyes flashes and she turns on the seamstress again.

"You fucked up my dress!" She screeches, startling and cutting tension throughout the whole dress shop.

The Russian lady pleaded with Leah and they went back and forth about whether she made the dress too small or whether Leah had put on some weight (we all know the fat goes to her ass) since giving her the measurements. My sisters got involved and tried to calm Leah down but that didn't work so Emily attempted to zip it further. And then Leah got beyond offended when Kim suggested she suck her tummy in. That earned her an echoing "do I look like a fucking circus elephant to you?!"

Then Leah came to me and asked me to try it. I wanted to mention that if Alice or Bella couldn't get it and they had superhuman strength, then I sure as hell wasn't. It burned my tongue when I held in my "your ass is too damn fat" remark whilst struggling to zip her up.

The argument went on till my fiance's heard enough and ripped the dress from her body, white fabric flowing to the carpet and sequins flying everywhere.

We all stood there, mouths a gap and staring at the tarnished dress when she stomps back into the dressing room in her bra and thong.

It was then I realized I was marrying an absolute monster. Her angelic ways and godly behavior weren't the reasons I was. Being with Leah has made me realize that I love crazy ass women.

If those two weren't good enough examples, there was the cake incident.

Leah decided she wanted a Double layered, chocolate fudge and mousse cake, similar to the one I got for her birthday. We went to the same bakery but on this particular day, the wrong employee was working the wrong shift.

When Leah took her first taste, she immediately threw her fork down and spit out her bite. It made me and Rebecca freeze. We knew the outcome and we feared for the baker.

"I specifically asked for a double fudge, double layer, mousse and chocolate fudge cake. This," -she points at the cake on her plate- "- is _crap_."

The whole bakery went silent while I chewed and tried to find the difference between what she'd just described and the cake I was eating. I couldn't taste the difference but she obviously could. The baker taste it for herself and can't find what's wrong with it.

That's when the fire returns and Rebecca muttered, "Oh boy," while leaning on my shoulder.

"You can't taste the difference? Your taste buds must be fucked up cus tell me why in the hell I taste cocoa fudge and not chocolate fudge?"

The baker tries explaining herself but Leah's hopped out her seat now, towering over her.

"Do I look like an idiot? Where on my forehead does it read 'dumbass'?! It's cocoa _not_ chocolate! If I'm paying you money to have a chocolate cake at my wedding then I expect to taste Hershey's and Willy Wonka to be having a baby in my mouth!"

Rebecca would usually interfere by this time in an argument but I get she was too tired of trying to calm her down. So she continues eating her cake and mine, lifelessly watching the scene unfold.

By this point, Leah's reached her boiling point and her piece flies to the wall, the glass of the plate shattering while fudge and cocoa dripping down the wall.

Everyone was still and shocked while Becca and I sigh and cover our face. More money out of my pocket.

Leah stormed out of the bakery, balled fist covered in cake mix and fudge. "Becca!" She screeches as she stomped away. Becca whimpered and began praying when she followed the bride out the shop.

I looked to the baker and she had a look of straight fear across her face.

"You're marrying h-her?" She asked with a shaky voice.

I couldn't help but grin. "Lucky me," I said and finished my piece.

I should be disgusted but in a way condone her behavior. I'd have to live with it for the rest of my life so why try to change her? I lived off of this kinda drama. It's sad, but very true.

I even remember this one time our whole party was gathered at the venue down in Forks for our rehearsal and no one was paying Leah or Alice any attention. Then out of nowhere, over a loud bullhorn speaker, Leah's annoyed voice rung out in the auditorium.

"I'm gonna kindly ask everyone to shut the fuck up before I round house kick every last one of you in the throat. If your name isn't Baby Doll or Alice and you're not in your spot in the next sixty seconds, I promise you that you will not live to see March eleventh."

We eventually got our shit together and got through the rehearsal but then that left the rehearsal dinner which stood on many levels of awkward.

She may have been kicked out of Leah's bridal party but that didn't stop Seth from bringing Nessie. The tension was eased between them two in the slightest because of her telling Leah the truth about Rosalie. Bella was the middle man and I found it funny how I've-at one point-been attracted to all three of them.

Seth continued to ignore me while the Cullens tried to sit there and appear human. The pack was oblivious to the tension and I wanted to be to but I was a contributing factor to the awkwardness. Needless to say, it's the longest dinner I've ever endured.

Tonight was intended to be drama-free. That obviously didn't happen since it was mine and Leah's bachelor party. Cus of her trust issues, she had decided we're having a joint party but only until midnight cus the groom isn't supposed to see his bride the day of the wedding till they meet at the alter. Or was it he wasn't supposed to see her wedding dress? Was it the day of or twenty four hours prior?

Anyway, the night was going fairly well. We were partying in the club, having a jolly time till Lee turned her head for two minutes and a group of girls who looked as if they'd been born two weeks earlier made it their business to dance and grind upon my crotch.

Since I was a good boy and I've learned my lesson, I stray away and nearly push them off of me. They were alright looking, but It's already been established that if I cheat, I do it with people I already know and not disease ridden teenagers.

Leah would've gone wolf if she could've but snatching the young girls by their extensions and tossing them away like a garbage bag sufficed for her.

The first time wasn't a good enough warning, so they come at me _again_. Leah, inflamed, removes her heels and earrings, fully prepared to kick ass. She's had one too many teenagers try and "steal her man" so their altercation got a bit intense.

Needless to say, our night together ended before midnight.

So, now my groomsmen and I are back at Paul's, kicking back with beer and TV. We didn't have money to blow on strippers nor we were in the mood to be interrogated by suspicious fiances, wives and girlfriends tomorrow morning so this was my bachelor party. Never imagined there'd be so much testosterone and semen. I never imagined Seth wouldn't be here either.

Gossiping wasn't just a girl's activity. Guys could do it too. Except our gossip turned into more of a game of twenty questions and just straight talking shit.

"Okay, whatever, Jacob," Paul scoffs as he opens his third beer since getting back from the club.

"What? I'm dead serious."

"Quit bullshiting."

"I'm not, I swear," I insist and try to pay attention to the television. "Jared, if Kim put on a little weight, you'd still bang her, right?"

He has to think for a sec. "Depends on how much."

"Let's say like ten or fifteen pounds."

"That's not really noticeable."

"Fine. Like twenty five, thirty."

It takes him a while to answer. He sips his beer and scratches his head. "Yeah, probably."

"Told you!" I yell to Paul while he throws his hands up in disbelief.

"Oh, come on."

"Hey, man. Pussy is pussy."

"And even if Leah's just so happens to be a bit harder to reach than I'm sure Jacob will still hit it. Right?" Quil announces from the kitchen, making me nod in agreement.

"Right. You wouldn't love my sister if she got a little fatter?"

He scoffs. "I'll always love your sister. Just wouldn't be able to bang her."

"Thank goodness."

"Oh, so you're a smart guy now?"

"Just ask the next question."

"Fine." Paul takes a moment to come up with a question to embarrass me but Embry beats him to the punch.

"How is Lee in bed?"

I'm too old to blush at that question. "Good."

"Just good? Don't tell me you're letting all that _booty _ go to waste."

Tonight was my last night of being celibate. Come tomorrow, I'd be balls deep inside my _wife. _"Alright, alright. She's amazing. More like fucking fantastic. She's just. . ." I don't wanna exploit her to them so I stop.

"Don't stop there!" Paul exclaims, slapping my bicep.

"Guys, we've got kids here," I'm referring to Colin and Brady, who were actually in the kitchen, eating everything in sight. They were kids compared to the rest of us.

"They're of age. Continue," Quil insists and takes a seat on the recliner chair.

"What do you want me to say?" I know what they want but they don't deserve the satisfaction.

Paul reaches forward and grabs one of the magazines off the coffee table. "Rach usually has these stupid questionnaire, true or false, dirty couple type things in one of these woman magazines. This should be interesting." He begins flipping through the magazine, trying to find a page.

"I don't know if I feel comfortable with talking to you guys about me and my wife's sexual ventures," I chuckle a bit and that's probably the exact same thing Lee and her bridal party were doing right this second.

"Don't say your _wife_ as if she's some kinda stranger- It's Leah. We know and love Leah," Paul mutters and stops searching. " 'Sides, she's not your wife yet."

"But still-"

"You love this woman and you respect her and all that junk but it's just us boys right now. You can tell us," Embry urges, nearly bouncing in his seat to know. My friends were perverts but I guess I'm an even bigger pervert for being willing to tell them. I wanted to brag actually.

"Fine. First question." I sheepishly smirk, ready for anything at this point.

Paul has already begun laughing at my answers without me even having to say them. "Something she does that never fails to make you horny?"

I think. "When she pouts. I don't even know, it's just sexy to me. Either that or when she does yoga and her body's stretching and shit. . ."

Many of mornings, I've come downstairs in the middle of Leah doing her yoga and a mix of the tight outfit and provocative positions drive me insane.

"Reasonable enough. Is she usually on top or bottom?"

"Bottom."

They laugh at me.

"She makes you do all the work?" Paul teases.

I shrug. "I'm not complaining. Next question."

"Does she give head?"

My cheeks must've been beet red. "Yes, she does." She hasn't been doing it lately but they didn't need to know that. She does this really fucking cool shit with her tongue, making my eyes roll back and actually make me scream.

"Ass or tits."

That's actually a hard one. With tits, you can play and jiggle them around like it's a sport but with ass, you get to see just how hard your hitting it depending on the ripples of each thrust over her flesh.

"Ugh. . .ass. Because Leah's got so much of it."

"Amen," Paul mumbles under his breath. "Last question: who was better in bed? Leah or Nessie?"

I glare at him but he pretends not to notice as his eyes scan over the pages of the magazine. They find it hilarious how Leah punched me in the face and actually left a bruise a month or two ago when I fessed up to cheating. It was a tender topic for all those involved but Seth wasn't here. I answer the question mentally and keep it to myself.

"Your mother," I respond and he gives me a disgusted look while I just laugh with the rest of my boys.

"Fuck you. Next question," he grimaces and reads on.

The questions only get raunchier and it gets to a point where we're all in strong need to rub one out. Instead, we quit with the questions and try to get drunk by drinking every last bit of alcohol in his house. I know I made a New Year's resolution to drink less but this was my bachelor party. I had another two hundred something days to be sober.

Before passing out like a teenager, I wonder what Lee and the girls have been up to since leaving the club.

**A/N This story just might make you, my readers, hate me forever. Happy Valentine's Day. **


	2. The Line Of Fire

**A/N DON'T GET LAZY AND NOT REVIEW ON "_THE QUEENS."_**

_If you could see what I'm thinking. . ._

I'm not drunk.

I'm just _happy._

Rachel, Rebecca, Emily and Kim were drunk simply because they are humans who can't hold their liquor like I'm able to. They passed out about an hour ago.

Obviously, Alice and Bella don't drink and can't sleep so they were just as awake as I was. Alice went out to hunt so that just leaves Bella and I. She's been such a gracious friend to me even after the little incident between her daughter and I. Not very many woman can face her friend after such a traumatic experience.

I misjudged her so wrongly. Based on how she had treated Jacob, I just assumed she was a cold and selfish pain-in-the-ass but in reality, she was sweet and actually quite charismatic. It's easy to see why he used to like her so much. Our whole relationship was just awkward when I truly think about it: she used to be the love of Jacob's life and as obsessed with her as he was, we were to wed tomorrow. Now we're practically best friends and as much as I used to hate her, I fucking loved her now.

She was good to me in a way no other girl has even bothered to be with me. Emily and I used to have something like this but it's taken a lot of tears for me to even consider fully trusting her. In a way, my emotions in an unmindful way blame her a bit for what happened to Jacob last year. I know it was _my_ fault but I immaturely never take responsibility, and I'm oddly content with that annoying and childish trait of mine. I'm also satisfied with how big of a bitch I've been to everyone lately.

But no one has ever called me out on it. So, maybe that's why I don't care about it.

Bella sure didn't care.

"You and Jacob are too fucking adorable," she compliments me as she goes through the pictures on my phone. I giggle at his mention. Here come the butterflies. . .

"Yeah, we get that a lot," I reply as I brush out the waves of my hair so that it's easier to manage when Alice styles it tomorrow.

"So is Doll."

"Yeah, that too," I smile while imagining her sound asleep at Sue's with Bronx under her arm. "She's probably been waiting for this day longer than I have."

"Your wedding?" She flips over in my bed to face the bathroom.

"Yeah." I put the brush down and put my mane into a hair tie. "When it was just us two, I'd tuck her into bed at night, and she'd always say a prayer that when I find whoever her dad was, that we get married. All she ever really cared about was my happiness."

"Aw," she coos and sits upright over the edge of the mattress. "That's so sweet."

It was actually. I turn the bathroom light out and exit to lay next to her. "It is. All her and Sue ever did before Jacob proposed was pressure him to marry me. I can't believe I'm actually walking down the isle tomorrow."

The thought of me being someone's wife, let alone Jacob Black's, was a strange concept to think about. I used to be head over heels in love with Sam, and couldn't fucking stand Jacob. But here I was, seven or so years later, wearing his mother's ring, only hours away from kissing him into our eternity.

"I felt the same way. I never thought it'd actually happen but, _damn_, here I am, " she stares at the ground without blinking. I nudge her cus she knows I find it creepy. She blinks. "Nervous?"

I involuntarily shrug. "Not about the wedding or getting married. I'm more scared of what's gonna happen in the future."

"Meaning?"

"What if he doesn't find me attractive after a certain point?"

"He'd be crazy not to." She lays back down beside me and cuddles in close with a pillow. "You're _smoking _ hot."

I laugh and let my eyes wander up at the darkness of our bedroom. "I'm just worried he'll get too lazy to wanna touch me anymore."

"He won't. Him, like every other male on this Earth, is fueled by sex. And it doesn't matter if you gain two pound or twenty, he won't be able to keep his hands off of you," she reassures me and runs a few fingers through the ends of my ponytail.

"You know that for sure?"

"Edward likes to creep in his thoughts and basically that's all he can think about whenever you're around. He's shown me some pretty graphic images."

Well, that's a relief. "That's my Jacob. _Ugh_, I swear it's gonna be fucking _on_ tomorrow night." I know that for damn sure. I had no clue where Jacob was taking us for our honeymoon but wherever it was, I was gonna have him begging and whining for me. These long and testy months of celibacy were killing us both so we could last for who knows how long? All I know is that it was gonna be a buck wild time.

Bella's hearty laugh fills my ears and echoes in the huge room. "I'm happy for you two."

"Thanks. I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid tonight." I know Jacob was usually an easy going guy in terms of partying and he was-for the most part-faithful but that doesn't mean I shouldn't worry. Under the influence of alcohol and his boys, he could have just about any random whore sucking and licking all over his balls and feel little remorse. Jacob wasn't heartless and felt guilt and I know I should have a little more faith in him, but it's irritating not knowing what he's up to. If I was behaving, so should he.

"He won't. He learned his lesson," she hisses while beginning to twirl her own hair.

"But-"

"No buts. He loves _you_, alright? _Fuck the imprint,_ to be honest." She throws her arms upward for emphasis. "And if he is tongue fucking some other girl right now, then you have the power to give him hell for the rest of his life."

"Mm. . ." I moan. "His_ tongue_."

"What about it?"

"It's so long and _ooh_."

She smirks. "How is he in bed, anyway?"

I could go on forever talking about how fucking beautiful his ability to drive me crazy is. "Let's just say that we've had to invest in bed sheets on more than one occasion."

"_Damn_."

"I know right?" My giggles cannot be withheld. Tomorrow night just won't come fast enough. "He's a damn machine."

"I'll bet," she sighs. "Vampire sex isn't too bad, either."

"How's Edward in bed?" I'm genuinely curious.

"At first, he was, like, scared to touch me. Now, he's a fucking animal."

"Can vampire have orgasms?"

"Yeah. It takes a bit longer but I'm not complaining. I'll bet werewolf sex is pretty crazy, huh?"

"You have no idea."

We lay in silence for a second. I yawn and automatically turn over to be on my pillow but I land on her chest instead. I'm too sleepy to care at this point so I just stay there. She begins to caress my head and I replace her icy fingers with Jacob's warmer, calloused ones. The tiny hairs along my neck stand when they meet her cold skin. I get goosebumps but I still squeeze her a bit tighter than I would've. My eyes droop but they manage to meet hers and stare into her gold irises.

"What do you think the boys are doing?" She asks and I raise my head a bit, our faces nearly an inch apart. I've been immune to her overall scent, so all I can intake is the smell of her minted breath. It's inviting.

"Being bad," I answer and slide upward to touch our foreheads. I don't know what the hell I'm doing but it promised fun and possibly adventure. I grin in the anticipation of the naughtiness and come to grips that I'm actually attracted to her right now. Who gave a fuck is she's a vampire? She's kinda sexy in that way.

Theses feelings must've been mutual 'cause she sits us upward and takes her sweet time pressing her lips to mine. I shiver but get her tongue, deepening the kiss. I'm nearly ashamed at how much I like this.

"Are _we_ bad?" She questions as she nudges our noses. My fingers snake along her sides, over her breasts, arms, neck, and jawline and onto her scalp, where they intertwine with the soft strands to pull her closer if it were even possible. She growls up a moan.

"A little," I respond and let this sudden side of me kiss her again. "Watch your thoughts."

Lesbian Leah was an interesting character I'd have to tame before tomorrow morning. I sneak a peak at the digital clock and see it's already passed midnight. Somehow, I can't stop cus I don't know why this bitch suddenly feels so good.

Since I lack taking responsibility, I blame the alcohol for whatever Bella and I do on mine and Jacob's bed for the next half hour. I'm not sure if it was sex or not, but whatever the hell it is, feels amazing.

* * *

Once the lesbian side of me has been handled, the Bridezilla is back in full swing.

The service starts at two in the afternoon, but my excitement, jitters, and nerves get me up and eight in the morning. The only thing left to do besides get married was to get gorgeous and that could take forever. I panicked a bit about my dress, Baby Doll's and Sue's till they showed up at ten with their outfits in hand-including the little doggy tux for Bronx.

Alice had hair and makeup duty while Rachel and Rebecca worked on nails. I already had naturally long nails but her and Alice still felt that acrylic was necessary. This was probably gonna be the most stress less part of my day cus all I had to do was sit in this stool, stare at my reflection, and let them do the work. Bella ran off with Emily to get the bridesmaid dresses and my reception dress from the tailor's since I forgot to do it last week and I'm one hundred percent positive the store's owner didn't wanna see me after the whole dress ripping episode.

"Did Jacob tell you where he's taking you yet?" Rachel asks as she gets together the fancy nail polish, files and cuticle cutter Alice provided her on the Jacob's side of the bathroom counter. Rebecca begins the pedicure spa machine after filling it with warm water and bath salts.

I shake my head and flash some facial expressions I've been practicing to keep my tears at the ceremony in the mirror before me. "Nope," I sigh. Alice plugs in the blow drier and inspects the products I instructed her to use to get it into the style I desired. The pixie like woman sets the heat on the machine and grabs my brush.

"Any guesses?" Sue asks.

"Knowing him, he'd probably just take me back here," I chuckle a bit.

"Well, that's romantic," Becca adds sarcastically and begins Doll's nails first.

The only time I really regret growing my hair back out was when I had to actually do it. It took a lot longer to blow dry but at the slickness and rate Alice was going, she was finished drying it within five minutes versus the usual twenty it takes me. I'd cut it again but Jacob really likes it long and I feel I'd regret it soon after, even though my hair grows a centimeter or two every day. Straightening it was tough as well but Alice knows what she's doing. She was finished straightening it within half an hour so now it's time to put it up.

"What'r you gonna do with my hair?" Doll asks Alice tiredly as she watches Sue put a second coat of the green polish over her tiny fingernails.

"Right after I'm down with Lee's," she replies with a bobby pin in her teeth. "You never told me what you wanted me to do with it."

"I want a ponytail like Mommy's."

"Alright, we can do that. You washed it like we told you to, right?"

She nods and looks at me now. "Can I wear makeup, too?"

"Trying to impress Carson?" I tease and her face and ears goes pink. She was looking forward to seeing him more than anybody tonight.

"Ooh, Carson," Alice sings and tightens the ponytail atop my head, then stick a bobby pin in so it stays. Sue laughs at her granddaughter.

"_No_. I just wanna look like you today," she explains even though we all knew that was a lie. She talks about him only _always. _

_"_Whatever you say, Doll. You can wear a little mascara and lip gloss but that's it."

"Fine."

The pampering must've made time fly cus once our hair, nails, and makeup is done and we have our dresses, it's already one o' clock. I wanted to beat Jacob to the venue in Forks because I didn't want him to see me or me see him. I hear it's bad luck.

Luckily, we're there before the boys are, giving us a good opportunity to make sure everything was in place and in order from colors, lighting, placement and presentation. I take a minute to let this moment sink in by standing in the the center of the empty dance area and staring at myself in the freshly buffed, wooden floor. In a few hours, Jake and I are gonna have our first dance as a married couple right here in this very spot as this huge chandelier dangles above our heads. Our guests would be seated at these very tables, watching us in awe as they marvel at our choice of decor. Our theme was La Push which is why our earthy palette was so crazy from greens to light browns and to a classic champagne color his sisters had suggested.

It was so beautiful in here. Despite I had to be a bitch to get it this way, it was worth it.

Everything's perfect and it'll _stay_ perfect if I had anything to do with it. I was a Bridezilla till the second the clock strikes twelve and everyone should know by now, I will not hesitate to bomb _anyone_ out. This was _my_ day. Anyone who tried to jeopardize or ruin my princess wedding was in the line of _fire. _I've worked too damn hard to let it be ruined.

Jacob's sneakers squeak against the reception hall's floors as I strut out and into the backrooms so I could get into my dress. I walk slowly, savoring each second.

* * *

I'm not one to get nervous, but my heart kinda skips a few beats when Paul informs me that guest have begun to arrive and it's looking like an all present event, meaning everyone we invited is showing-even Seth and Nessie.

My hands are shaking as I button up my shirt and fix my tie. What was I to even be so jittery about? All I had to do was stand there, stare at that heartbreaking, showstopping woman and say my vows that I spent a week writing with Billy's help. Then we kiss and boom: we're married. Bring on the sex.

I sigh and circle the dressing room a few times.

_She loves you, she loves you, she loves you. . . _I keep repeating to myself. My worst nightmare was being jilted, especially with Leah's past with running away. I gotta snap myself out of this cus the ceremony starts in fifteen minutes!

_Ugh_, I wanted a fucking blunt right now. Correction: I _needed _ one given how unnecessarily hyped this adrenaline had me. She was probably chilling like a villain right now cus she was just so calm all the time. Planning this whole thing should've worn her out.

It's not like I was guilty of anything either! I was a good boy last night so there's nothing for her to find out about.

My reflection in the full length mirror seems confident in its well dressed and sharp appearance. I take a few breaths and practice saying my vows to myself so when I say them to her, my tongue doesn't get tied.

The knock at the door startles me after those long fifteen minutes. My stomach drops, then I realize I'm sweating.

"Jake," Paul call on the other side of the door.

"Yeah?"

"We're starting in two minutes. Get out here."

I bite my lip and stuff the worn and torn sheet of notebook paper with my vows on it back into my pocket. "I'll be right out."

Every one of my inhibitions and worries wash away once I exit the dressing room, head held high. I look all of our guests in the eye as I take my place at the alter, ready to become Leah's hubby. The adrenaline returns but it's a good kind of rush. What the hell was I so worried about? This was gonna be fun.

A couple minutes later, those doors down the isle finally open and my heart goes haywire. Baby Doll appears with Bronx on her side from around that corner with her basket of flower petals, awaiting Leah's cue to begin walking. Any second now, she'll enter the room, and everyone will bow in her presence.

Okay, not bow but this princess-meets-La Push theme encourages it.

My foot begins to tap.

The music has been playing for quite a while now. She should be out by now.

Panic washes through me as I search the crowd for a rhyme and reason as to why in the blue hell she hasn't come out yet. I avoid Seth's eyes cus I just knew he was sporting some smug punk smirk. My lips begin to quiver cus I have to resist shouting her name.

I subtly look to my right and see her bridal party was looking around just as confused as I was. The crowd begins to mutter.

Oh, _please_ don't let my nightmare come true. I fucking jinxed it!

My groomsmen are sharing glances with each other and the bridal party. I just stand there, looking like an idiot while the pastor checks his watch. Baby Doll has an impatient frown on her face as she checks behind her to make sure she's not missing her cue.

It seems like sixty-five fucking years pass till Bella and Sue exit out the doors in a hurry. I wait and pray I don't begin to make a fool of myself by breaking down into tears cus it sucks I love her so much to actually do so. What if she pulls a Mary-Jane Watson and runs off to be with Spiderman?!

Bella and Sue return after a few minutes, restoring my sanity. Bella goes back to her spot in the bridal lineup while Sue approaches me with a half smile. Her heel clicks upon the alter when she steps up. I lean in to hear her whisper.

"She's having a moment," she explains.

With Leah, that could mean _anything_. "Meaning?"

"She's just nervous. Go talk to her."

Exhaling out all my insecurities, I nod and try to ignore everyone's stares as I follow the path towards the girl's dressing room. My legs wobble a bit but I make it there without having a heart attack.

I knock once. "Leah?"

There's a faint sniffle on the opposite side of the door. "Jacob, _I'm sorry_."

"You wanna tell me what's wrong with you?"

I picture her on the floor, weeping into her veil. I twist the knob to open it but it's quickly pushed back in my face as the door locks shut.

"Don't come in!"

"Why?"

"Cus the groom isn't supposed to see the bride before the wedding."

"Oh, so you still plan on getting married?" I joke but she doesn't find it funny.

"_Don't_ make fun of me."

"Just tell me what's wrong. Why'd you leave me standing there?"

It's silent for a moment or two. Good thing I'm willing to wait.

"I don't wanna marry you anymore," she whines all of a sudden.

_I'd be right there next to you._


	3. Until The End Of Time

**A/N TOMORROW'S FRIDAY, HALLELUYER. **

"Leah, calm down and just lemme in."

She pants. "No!"

_Just relax_. She's having a moment, like Sue said.

"Why not?"

"Cus I don't wanna see you!"

How she says it makes me chuckle a tad loudly. She thinks I'm making fun of her.

"Stop laughing!"

"It's hard not to when you're being this ridiculous," I confess and try to picture what she's doing on the other side. "Just lemme in so we can talk."

"No!"

"Why not?" I bite my lip to prevent laughing. This is how Doll acts sometimes.

"Cus I'm not supposed to see you before the wedding!"

"How do you expect there to be a wedding if you're locked away in here?"

She sniffles. "Then there won't be a wedding."

I throw my hands up in surrender. If that's how she wanted it, then _fine_. Maybe Charlie and Sue could get married today cus I'm not letting all this go to waste.

"Alright," I say, a bit confused. "I'll just go tell everyone to go then."

I wait. She doesn't make a sound so her silence is taken as an approval, but once I begin to stalk back down the hallway, her voice stops me.

"Wait!"

"Yes?" I smirk and lean against the door.

"I wanna do this," she says calmly while sniffling. "I'm just scared."

"Of?"

She sighs. "Hurting you."

"You've already hurt me with this little stunt you've pulled."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Why'r you so scared of hurting me all of a a sudden?"

I imagine a shrug. "What if Im not enough for you?"

"You'll always be enough. Leah, in life, there's always gonna be fears and doubts. I'm not saying you should be careless, but leave all the worries behind. People make mistakes, we both know that. Life is about taking these kinda risks, and going on these types of adventures. I'm just as scared as you are since we're being honest. I question myself sometimes as to why I have you, or why you stay. I wouldn't trade what we have for _anything_ in the world."

There's a quiet chill throughout the hallway.

"You jump, I jump." I add.

"Did you really just quote _Titanic_?"

"It fits the mood. Are you ready?"

There's a sigh on her side of the door. "_No_. You?"

I shake my head. "Nope. Guess we can be un-ready together."

We enjoy our sereneness for a few more seconds till she speaks up. "I'll be out in a second. Meet me at the alter."

I nod my head. "You promise you'll come out?"

"I promise. I just need a few minutes."

"I'll be waiting."

I dash towards the ballroom and up to the alter, smiling like an idiot. The chatter among the guests comes to a cease when I fix my tie once before the music begins again. Baby Doll gets a hold of Bronx before checking behind her. There's a huge smile on her face as she turns forward and begins flicking and tossing the white petals upon the carpet.

These few seconds before my bride finally comes from around make my heart drop. The second I see her, I melt.

My hands get clammy, my forehead drips of sweat and my heart floats back upward to begin thumping in my chest again. There's an applause, but I drown it out as I do my best to stay under control. Charlie is by her side, staring at me with pride. Sue's already crying.

Her dress was glowing along with her skin. Her veil hides her gorgeous face, and her steps are careful. She seems to be floating the way the ruffles of her dress cover her feet. Each step seems to grow longer than the last, and I wanted to have her in my arms immediately. She holds her bouquet tightly in her hands. I may not be able to see her face clearly, but I'm pretty sure she's fighting tears. This was some Disney movie type shit, so I'd be fighting tears too if I were a chick.

_Holy fuck_, I'm about to get married.

Baby Doll takes her stand beside me as she holds a restless Bronx in her arms. She leans against me.

"Mommy's so beautiful," she says in admiration.

"I know," I agree.

Once she's in my vicinity Charlie looks me dead in my eyes, and gruffs as he hands her off to me. I give him a sheepish grin, and take her by the arm to help her upon the alter. I guess he was still a bit pissed at me for fucking his granddaughter. . .or his niece as far as he knew.

She hands her bouquet to our daughter before meeting me face to face for the first time in twelve or hours. Shaky fingers withhold the tip of her veil and fling it over her face.

She's blushing.

I can't focus on what the priest is saying or reciting because how shes looking is a distraction. Her hair is pulled back off her face, exposing her extreme features.

Damn, she's stunning.

'_You look beautiful_,' I mouth to her and she holds my hands tighter, turning even redder.

_Holy fuck,_ _I'm getting married._

That doesn't seem to be processing. Life is gonna be just the same as it was with her before, so why was I so nervous again? Maybe cus of all the insane stories I've heard about marriage and examples from my own parents' marriage. Like no sex and loss of communication. Would I be able to keep Leah entertained? What if she left me. . ._again_?

I gulp and caress her fingers with my thumbs.

_She loves you, she loves you,_ I chant to myself again. _You have a daughter, she loves you!_

The priest Sue hired goes on and on for a good ten minutes till it's time for vows. The second lump in my throat goes down as I gulp again. I let go of her hands and reach into my pocket for the sheet of paper. It's embarrassing that I don't have my vows memorized, but at least this way I don't leave anything out.

Leah's eyes are watering.

Wrist vibrating, I open the crinkly paper and begin to read what I've written:

_"_I can't promise you there won't be tears, fights, screaming, pain, sacrifice and worry. If I did, I'd be lying. But what we have is strong cus we always find a way back to each other. You're the love of my life, and no one can or ever will replace you. I'd say till death to us part, but even then I wouldn't let you go. On this eleventh day of March in 2012, my mind, body, and soul are bound to yours for the rest of our lives. The gods couldn't have sent me a better woman to spend my life with and give me my beautiful daughter. At my weakest, you make me feel strong. At my lowest, you make me high. I promise to love, cherish, trust, honor and be faithful to you, Leah Anna Clearwater, from now and till the end of time."

I swallow again, feeling quite parched, as I look to my bride. She's fighting not to cry anymore, in worry of her makeup. There'r multiple streaks cascading down her cheeks as well as Sue's, my sisters', Emily's and Kim's.

"Have you prepared a personal vow?" The priest asks her once she gets her emotions under wraps.

"Yeah yeah," she mutters and wipes her eyes gently. "Just gimme a sec."

I set the paper back in my pocket and wait for her. She exhales once and take my hands again.

"Okay, I'm ready," she says then makes our eyes meet. "Jacob, I love you so freakin' much it hurts and-" she shuts her eyes, stopping the flow of more tears. "And even when we fuss, fight, argue and nearly rip each other's heads off, I wouldn't wanna be with anybody else. I've been waiting what feels like a lifetime to become Mrs. Jacob Black and as long as I wear-"

Her sentence gets cut short by a choked up sob. I wipe away each drop as they drip down her face.

"-Wear this ring, I will strive to be the epitome of perfection for you whether it being there when you cry or just needing someone to talk to."

I give her a half smile, and she doesn't know how to deal cus she keeps crying. Sue sniffles and sets her head upon Charlie's shoulder.

"You're my best friend, a-a-a-and I don't know what I'd do without you. You make me wanna be a better person cus Lord knows I need some work," she adds and wipes her cheeks. Everyone in the room can attest to that.

"I say you're insane for loving me as much as you do. From now till forever, it's gonna be endless cuddling, kissing, dancing, laughing, and a whole lot of baby making," she chuckles as does I.

"You are my ride or die, whether you fail or fly. I absolutely adore you, Jacob Ephraim Black."

That was well put together. I wink at her.

Our priest clears his throat. "If anyone believes these two families should not join together in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Simultaneously, Sue, Leah and Baby Doll flash mother-daughter matching death glares as they scan the crowd thoroughly and intimidatingly as if to dare someone to say _something. _ My automatic glance in Seth's direction makes him turn away and whisper something to Nessie.

The room stays silent for another minute or two then Leah turns her head back forward to face me, muttering "That's what I thought," matter of fact-ly under her breath.

"Jacob, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, better or for worse, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

"He does," Leah answers quickly, making me and our families laugh.

"I do." I nod my head, never leaving her face.

"Leah, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold, for richer or poor, better or for worse, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Her blushing return returns as her head shakes rapidly up and down. "I do," she beams with a Colgate commercial smile.

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss your bride."

This is my favorite part.

She takes the first step towards me and I meet her the rest of the way, wrapping my protective arms around her waist. The second our lips touch, there's an uproar of clapping and cheering but all I hear is our pulses running rapid. Her grip around my arms doesn't decrease as I push to be positive of this moment. I'm actually smiling into the kiss as is she. Her nose nudges against mine a couple times and she finally releases me, giving me time to breath. I sigh and peck her once before she takes my hand to lead me down the isle.

Passing by our happy and clapping families and friends was a blur because all I can see is her. Leah Anna Clearwater was no longer my missing girlfriend, celibate fiance', or psycho baby mama; she's the first ever Mrs. Jacob Black.

* * *

A wedding reception was more than a good enough occasion for the packs to get buck wild as they usually did at parties. We didn't invite that many people quite honestly but it still seemed like a lot when they're all on the dance floor krumping and freaking each other in their primitive nature.

Our wedding still needed time to sink into our psyches, so my wife and I lounge at the empty bridal table, watching everyone have fun. Any other day, Id be right on that dance floor but it was best my mind adjust to what just happened.

Leah purrs as I feed her some food off my plate. She wobbles like a baby in my lap as she chews, watching her mother get tipsy from across the room.

"How long did it take you to write your vows?" I ask her as she bounces about.

She chews then swallows. "I'd say a good two weeks or so. You?"

"Same. My dad helped."

"They were _beautiful_. And I'm sorry about the little stunt I pulled," she grins coyly and leans forward to kiss me.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," I say between kisses and when she pulls back, I feed her some more. She licks my finger clean of the barbecue sauce on the chicken her mom prepared.

"So, where'r we heading tonight?" She asks, her glass of champagne hovering over her lips.

"It's a surprise."

"Gimme a hint."

"We're going out of the country."

"Where?" She questions, worriedly.

"You'll see."

"_Just _ tell me," she pokes my stomach.

"_Just_ wait and you'll see."

"I'm not a very patient person."

I shrug. "Not my fault."

"I hate you already," she jokes and sets her torso upon my chest. I hold her close to me and kiss her hair, which smells like the smoothing serum she uses on Doll's hair. Her veil gets in my face a few times but I pretend not to notice.

"Even when I hate you, I'll love you," I whisper and she purrs again.

"Quit being so perfect."

"I'll stop when you do."

"Jacob, I mean it."

"So do I."

The loud speakers on each corner of the room decrease in volume. Everyone faces the deejay's stand on the stage.

"Alright, ladies and gents, it's time for the couple of the evening's first dance," he announces over the microphone. "This one is for Jacob and Leah."

She sits forward and stuffs her face a little more before downing her alcohol then popping up out my lap. I stand and take her by the hand. The dance floor disperses as we make our way towards the middle to be in the spotlight.

She bitched and complained about this more than anything so lets pray I get it right. Her arms support themselves upon my shoulder while my hands go around her waist. The music begins and we just sway. Since Leah is probably the biggest N'sync/ Justin Timberlake fan anyone in La Push knows, it was appropriate she chose_ Until The End Of Time _ for us to dance to. It's actually fit for baby making rather than a first dance.

I twirl then dip her slowly to match the music, all eyes hopefully on her and not me. She's the one laced in diamonds and jewels, so why not? We pull close again, regaining our breath after an intense turn. She rests her head upon my chest and just rocks to the smooth and mellow beat of the track. I do the same and stare at the floor.

Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Black- that's us. Before now, Baby Doll went by Alejandra Clearwater so now she's legally and officially a Black. She must be ecstatic now that we're married cus shes been wanting this since the day we met.

Wedding? _Check_. Now onto Operation: _Get Leah Pregnant._ This time next year, I hope to be holding Jacob Jr. in my arms. I don't wanna pressure her or rush anything-we've got plenty of time-but I wanted a son _now._

She grinds against me hard and I take that as an invitation to swirl her about so her back is against my torso and my crotch is rubbing against her ass. It's like our birthday parties all over again.

There's whooping and cheering from our audience as usual. It's something I'd get used to.

I squeeze her hips and she guides my hands. The bass drops towards the end of the song and she takes her sweet time twirling forward to face me again. Our simple sway soon goes to a sensual grinding and freaking motion that could start this baby making process soon. Harry would kill me right now.

I don't hear the song end but it must've cus she gives me a quick kiss before being dragged off the dance floor by Alice.

"I'll be right back!" She calls to me and soon disappears in the growing crowd. The music has taken a change in pace back to its regular hip-hop and R&B flow.

I stand there to watch her go but am soon distracted by my pack creating body slamming about cus they were probably too tipsy to perform actual dance moves. I join them and throw down as well because what's not to celebrate? I'm a married man.

* * *

After Leah changing into her infamous reception dress, the party could really start. Hanging around us must've worn off on the Cullens because newly single Emmett was dancing like crazy all over the floor, being just as rowdy as the wolves. Bella, being the shy, white girl she is, had never indicated that she could dance at all so boy, was it a damn shock when in the middle of bumping to some rap, her and my new wife were bumping and grinding against each other like it was a college party instead of a wedding.

So much for keeping it classy. I don't get mad because I'll be doing a whole lot more very soon.

Edward stayed off on the sidelines with Charlie, pretending he didn't see them. Baby Doll was much too young but wasn't naive to know it was a bit disturbing. At the sight of it, she just rolled her eyes and went to the other end of the dance floor with Carson. Their maturity levels can be so alike and different all at the same time.

Speaking of her anyway, she disappeared from the floor and never returned. I don't notice her absence till another Justin Timberlake song came on.

"You see where Leah went?" I ask Sue when I catch up with her at the bridal table.

She shakes her head and sips her wine. "I thought she was with you."

"Hmm. . ." I hum and look around the dim lit, spacious room. Where could she have gone?

I ask my pack, Baby Doll, Charlie and nearly everyone, but no one's seen her. I even ask Nessie, who does her best and fails at not making eye contact with me. She doesn't know where she is. So, I ask her where Seth is so I can ask him but surprisingly enough, she didn't know that either.

I check the floor once more before heading back to the bridal table to see if she's there. But it's empty.

Frustrated now, I groan and rub my face. Of course, I lose my bride on our wedding day; classic Jacob.

In my peripherals, the white material and sparkly flash of her reception dresses whooshes by. Well, I found her.

I follow her glow, but she's not walking away. She's_ stomping. _She's _ angry. Her heels click violently onto the dance floor but I skip around her to meet her face to face._

"What's wrong?!" I demand to know when I see her nose is scrunching and her eyebrows are furrowed.

She stomps her foot and holds her hands as claws parallel to each other to act out a squeezing motion between the air. "My shithead, son of a cunt brother!" She exclaims over the bumping music.

"What'd he do?"

"He's being the little prick he usually is, thinking he's my goddamn father and just-_ugh_!" She punches the palm of her hand, so I place my hands over she shoulders to calm her. "He's like '_oh, you made a big mistake_,' and '_he's gonna hurt you again_' or '_if he's in this family, I'm not'_ and just a bunch of bullshit that little fucker thinks I give a shit about and just _fuck_!"

The whites of her eyes redden, an attribute to her eyes watering.

"Leah, don't cry," I beg of her and caress her forearms, safely hiding how angry I was as well.

"No, it's fine cus I don't give a shit!" A tear escapes but she wipes it away before it has the chance to reach her chin. She_ does_ give a shit; she wouldn't be crying if she didn't.

Well, I'm about to do something I might regret. But my life is full of that shit.

"Go enjoy yourself. I'll be right back," I tell her and make way to where Nessie was sitting. When I arrive there, she's gone so I follow her scent to the exit. Just my luck, I catch her and a pissed off Seth just as they're about to leave. I had to get my two cents out; I've been wanting to for months.

"You're coming with me," I growl as I grab his collar like a child and disconnect him from my imprint. She's startled but I flash her a sarcastic smile and instruct her to wait before exiting into the empty hallway and slamming him against the door.

He tries to fight me off but I've got a death grip on him.

"We _all _ know you fucking hate my guts but if you _ever _try to come between this marriage, I swear on a stack of Bibles and holy water that you will _not _ like the consequences. I love her, she loves me. That's how it is and always be and nothing you say or do will_ ever_ take her away from me. She's my _wife_ now. Whether you're satisfied with it or not, I'm your brother, just like I was before. Yes, we all know I cheated and we all know I'm a douche but guess what? She's forgiven me and I've forgiven myself. You don't have to anytime soon but just remember, you're the only one who's still butthurt about me fucking the living shit out of your girlfriend. _No one _ is attending your pity party! Your sister has been losing her damn mind and been a nervous wreck putting this shindig together. It's not about you, or what you want. The only goddamn person who matters today is her! Not you!"

That felt _good. _

Once I release him, I take notice of the way his form shakes and his eyes get wild. I growl again and slam him against the door once more. "Phase," I tell him. "_I fucking__ dare you. Phase right here, I want you to. I __wish_ you would."

He takes my threat as a challenge for a second before muttering, "fuck this," when he realizes this isn't worth exposing the tribe. After a second of growling, he disappears back into the reception and exits back out with Nessie, the two of them rushing to get out of here and down the hallway. She gives me a look I can't decipher.

I sigh.

Fuck it; I'm married.

**A/N I will Harlem Shake viciously and happily if you guys review. **


	4. Kush

The remainder of the night is spent dancing and drinking like a teenager in the middle of the dance floor. A few guests, such as the council, leave which meant the party was far from our cake was fun as well because she nearly has a conniption when I sneakily smash a piece in her face by surprise It was childish, but it's tradition. She got me back though, fifteen minutes later by doing the same thing.

We only had the deejay till ten so once that time rolled around and he began to pack up his equipment, I check with Alice about our honeymoon. She's the only one who knows where I'm taking her, and she's done a fantastic job keeping hush. I asked her to pack Leah's bags for her because if Leah would've done it herself, the wardrobe would've been an instant giveaway.

Leah made it especially clear that rice or any other type of food was to not be thrown during our departure. She would be complaining about picking grains out her hair all night. So without rice, we leave the venue to the airport. She's restless the whole way, begging me to tell her where we're headed. I keep my lips zipped regardless of how much she bugged me throughout airport security, awaiting to board, and on the plane.

I guess her excitement didn't let her look up at the schedule board to check for herself. Once we're allowed to, I make her put earphones in once we've taken our seats so she doesn't hear the pilot reveal our destination. Luckily, she's asleep before we take off so she'll stop annoying me. She'll be up soon so I'll need something else to entertain her. Till then, I should catch some Zs myself so I make myself comfortable and intertwine our fingers. Before shutting my eyes, I stare out the window and tighten my hold on Leah's hand. It's brave of me to take her out the country since I couldn't deal with heights. I'm paranoid as hell about crashing.

It seemed to be like its gonna be a long ten hours, but they actually flew by-no pun intended.

When we land and awake, it's eight at night in Washington, but with the time difference being behind eight hours, it's actually noon where we are. We weren't able to tell that from the foggy and rainy skies, and in her semi-sleepy state, Leah thought we were still in Washington.

We drag ourselves through baggage claim, and by observing her surrounding and listening to the accents, slowly puts together where we are. She gets excited, and can barely hold her hyper self together even though she was still tired.

Edward and Alice helped me find this cottage in the heart of the city to stay in for the next two weeks. The location was perfect since it's within walking distance of all the major attractions and sight seeing. And plus, it was trippy enough for the little surprises I had Edward hide a week before the wedding.

Once we've arrived at the cabin, the first thing she wants to do is sleep again. So, she slips into her birthday suit and takes a flying leap of much needed comfort onto the huge mattress in the master bedroom. I begin to get our evening set up, for when she awakes. After making sure everything is perfect, I get naked myself and nap with her.

* * *

The running shower faucet is what gets me up about ten hours later. I must've been exhausted. I've never slept so long at once. That plane ride nap didn't help at all.

I've been listening to her pretty herself for tonight for a while now, but it was useless cus we were staying in and all her hard work was going to go to waste once I'm done with her. I slip on a pair of boxers then listen to her humming as I set up the tripod to aim at the bed. I focus it so the film wouldn't be blurry.

Her humming makes me all the more excited for whatever was about to occur. I find myself humming with her, trying to match our songs. Speaking of, I figure out the stereo and put on some love-making music.

Lights dimmed, camera focused, and soft music on deck, all that was left was my favorite part- the kush.

I open the nightstand drawer, where Edward said he hid it. The mental joy and happiness my mind and body experience when my eyes lay upon the four Ziplock bags of weed and rolling papers is almost inhuman. We're going to have fun the next two weeks. I hope four bags was enough.

I roll myself up one and dangle it in my mouth while searching for the lighter. Once I've found it, I do a happy dance and light up.

The first puff is always the sweetest. Euphoria invades my senses and I breathe in harder, taking in every last taste. I exhale and watch the smoke fly.

This is _good_. Thank you, Embry.

"Alright, hubby," she calls through the door. "You ready for me?"

I blew some more smoke about the room, giggling as I do. "I'm ready, Mrs. Black."

The minute I say so, the door clicks open and the bathroom light goes out. I lean back against the wall and anticipate her appearance.

Leah's laced herself in the iconic black lace lingerie set she know drives me crazy with the Stilletos that lengthen her already long, tan, muscled, toned, La Push famous, drool worthy legs.

My teeth chatter impatiently at the sight of her exposed, creamy, freshly moisturized skin because all they wanna do is bite her everywhere. Everything was perfect from her waist length, shiny hair, face, breasts, flat stomach and thighs-oh, Jesus her thighs. One thing I cherished was how thick and curvaceous she is. She's bigger around waist and stomach, yet I'm perfectly fine with that.

She's walking sex.

Shit, this is _my wife_. God Bless me.

Her eyes widen at the drugs, then a huge grin stretches across her gorgeous face. I put the blunt back in my mouth and the distance between us was making me hornier and hornier.

I want her _so badly. _

Just by blinking made me wanna tackle her on this bed and wrestle her down. I wanted to get rough, rowdy, and mean. I wanted to bury myself in her and have her screaming and scratching, nearly begging.

"Is that what I think it is?" she bounces excitedly and steps upon the mattress to get across the room. She inhales the smoke and I put it in her mouth.

"_Mmm_. . ." she hums some more. "When was the last time we got high together?" She wonders and blows outward, her eyes rolling closed as she does. "Better question would be when was the last time we just _got high_?"

She puffs again. "Who'd you buy from?"

"Embry," I answer.

She nods. "It's _good_."

Leah was probably the biggest stoner I know. She's been smoking since she was fifteen, and she introduced it to me when we first started dating. Before Harry passed, she had a white t-shirt that read '_Keep Calm & Get High_ ' in green letters that she wore only around me. It was a gift from Seth.

She used to buy from people off the res, but after our pack brothers got into it, Paul secretely began growing the plant so we'd buy from him. It was a well kept secret between the pack; it was kinda _our thing_. We'd smoke a bit before a pack meeting, taking all the precautions to not get caught or raise suspicion with eye drops, Febreze, cologne, change of clothes, etc.

We had a really close run in with the cops once though. It wasn't Charlie's team, so Leah and I panicked. We were smoking around the more urban Forks neighborhoods and a patrol car passes by. Being the amazing chick she is, she hides our stash in her bra.

When Leah left, that's when I quit it. The other pack members didn't however. She told me she hasn't lit up since Baby Doll cus she didn't wanna expose her to it or risk getting caught with child services.

This is my first puff in years and fuck,_ it felt good._

"You 'member what you used to say to me when we first used to get high together?" I ask.

"No, what?"

"Mary Jane is the only girl you'd go lesbian for."

Her suggestive smirk and eyebrow wiggle tell me otherwise. "You have no idea, babe. What's _that _ for?" She points to the camera and its tripod set at the foot of the bed, and passes me back the blunt.

"I thought it'd be a cool idea to catch our honeymoons from here on out on film. No editing or anything. We leave the camera hidden and only record our honeymoons. We don't show _anyone_," I inform her as I get off the wall and retrieve the device.

"Where'd you come up with an idea like that?"

"I was kinda high when I thought of it," I admit and push the power button. It turns on.

"Obviously," she rolls her eyes and laughs. I zoom in on her and quickly press record which makes the flash go off, stunning her.

"_Whoa_," she blocks her face. "What the hell is that?"

"It's recording," I explain and look up from the screen on the video camera to see her reaction. "Ready?"

The light was on her just as it's _always_ been. She covers her face from the flash of the camera but it's too late-she's already been seen.

"So, Leah," I begin and she smirks at the camera before taking a puff.

"Yes?"

"You wanna tell me what today is?"

She plays with her ponytail and takes a drag. She does some tricks with the smoke as it floats out her mouth. I'm impressed.

"It's March twelfth, 2012." She blows the smoke in my face and kisses the lenses of the camera. I grin and lay down, making special sure she was still in the shot.

"And?"

"Yesterday was our wedding," she finishes and fixes her lipstick.

"How long we been married?"

She thinks about it. "We've been married for about twelve hours now."

"And where are we on our first honeymoon?"

"We're in _London_! As in England. Look!"

She pushes me towards the window and I record the bridge along the water that leads to Big Ben and the subway. The London Eye is just around the corner and as the rain falls from the grey clouds, the sky gets darker. It's sort of a sad scene but it was oddly similar _and_ different from how La Push is.

"Isn't it beautiful?" she marvels while staring out the window but the camera is still on her.

"Yeah. She sure is."

She glances over and takes another puff before blowing the smoke into another cool trick. Sheepishly, she turns her head and covers her face with her hand, the glint of her ring shining beautifully on camera.

"_Stop_," she whines. "I'm not cute when I'm high."

I snort and keep the camera rolling. "You are."

"I'm not," she dives her half naked body back into our bed, landing on her stomach and head in the sheets. I take a second to appreciate The Onion.

"_Damn_," I hiss with a huge grin on my face.

"What?" she mumbles and takes another quick puff.

"All that _ass_, that's what," I say and circle the bed so that I get good shots of her body.

She giggles and swiftly turns over so I can see her front.

"What's your favorite position, Jake?" she asks me as she fondles around with her breasts that are being restricted by the lace bra.

I shrug, knowing she's teasing me. "Does it matter? I still get an orgasm."

She bursts out into laughter, a strong side effect of the weed. "I'm the only one who can make you cum."

"True."

She blows into the air.

"So question."

"Ask away."

"How am I in bed?"

"I married you, didn't I?"

"Cute, but seriously."

She thinks for a second. "I had my first orgasm with you."

"Really?" That's not really answering the question but, it's the first time I'm hearing this.

"Mhm. Sam wasn't hitting it right."

"So you faked it?"

"Hell no. I can't_ fake_ an orgasm."

That's a relief. "So what did Sam do?"

"He came so fucking quick and it got on my fucking nerves. Literally the second he put it in, he's jizzing and breathing all hard while I'm just lying there like _what the fuck?"_

I begin laughing hysterically and take a seat in front of her. She stretches forward, passes me the joint, then goes back to playing with her tits.

"He was never romantic about it either. Sometimes he wouldn't even bother getting completely naked. There was this one time where he unzipped his pants and demanded a really quick blowjob before Sunday night football came on," she continues, rolling her eyes. "He always kept his socks on, or sometimes he left his pants around his ankles,_ never cuddled, and he drools."_

"Ew," I look up at her from out of the camera, and realize how foggy the room is now. I take a puff.

"I know right? Safe to say I don't miss my sex life with _him_. So, you could imagine my shock when you lasted as long as you did when I took your virginity."

I grin. "Yeah, it was pretty good, huh?"

She nods and leans forward, her breasts right in the view. I growl and she laughs.

"Dammit, Lee."

"You like?" She makes her voice sound tiny.

"Fuck yes," I angle myself over top of her and get a bird's eye view as she sits on the edge of the bed. "You're so goddamn sexy."

"I'm _not_ sexy," she plays with her ponytail and I pass the blunt back to her. She takes it and sucks for a few seconds before blowing in my face again.

"Yes, _you are._ Tell me something about yourself, baby. Something I don't know."

She taps her fingers against her midriff, creating a rhythm. "Something _you_ don't know?" That'd be a tad hard since I knew everything there is to now about her.

"Uh-huh."

"Um. . .well did you know I'm like part Hispanic?"

"_Like part_?"

"Yeah, Sue's half-Argentinean, my grandfather on Harry's side was Cuban."

"So you're like a mutt."

"Yeah, you could say that."

"You speak any Spanish?"

Leah bits her lip. "_Hola_."

"Alright, close enough. Show me something."

She wiggles her brows. "What-chu wanna see?"

"Everything."

At the sound of that, she places the joint in her mouth and slowly unhooks the bra, her perky breast spilling out. Her nipples are erect and when she blows, the smoke lingers around her chest. My briefs are clinging tighter and tighter to my body as each second passes. I zoom in on her chest and let the camera record all down her torso and I stop at her waist before going back up.

I settle on her face. "You're so pretty."

She turns red. "So are you."

"Thanks."

"Well, what makes me so pretty? What do you like most?"

"Your eyes."

"Really?"

"Mhm."

She scoots and lies on her back.

"What about me? What your favorite thing about me?"

She passes the joint back to me and I un-zoom to see her tan body spread beautifully across the sheets. She tilts her head up.

"You're far more forgiving than you should be."

That's true. "_That's_ your favorite thing?"

"That and your nose."

I grin sheepishly and it's my turn to get red. I take a drag and attempt at a trick but fail. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Really? Show me some more."

"You making a porno or something?"

"Naw, I just wanna show off my beautiful wife before I fuck her."

"_You_ fuck _me_? I'm pretty sure _I_ fuck _you_."

"I make you cum more than you make me. I'm always taking charge. You _never_ wanna ride me."

She's sliding her bottoms off to reveal the land of milk and honey. She tosses the garment away, and I put the blunt back in her mouth. "I'll ride you right now."

"Whoever cums first makes breakfast tomorrow."

"Okay," she gets on all fours and slings her ponytail around. "Sounds reasonable. We'll last longer."

"Just lemme get a look at you," I knead my knees into the mattress and she creeps closer, looking straight up in the lens. She's still in her doggy style position, swaying her hips to the pitter patter of the rain. Our eyes connect through the screen and she has such a sly smirk on her face. I wanted to put my dick in her mouth and literally fuck it off.

"Lemme see those beautiful eyes," I instruct and she bats her lashes as my fingers are playing with her ponytail.

I tug it and she goes back with a whimper. "Take it out," I demand.

She does as she's told and removes the band from her hair. The locks fell beautifully down her back, over her shoulders and cascaded down her chest. I put my fingers through the front layers and let the feeling satisfy my skin. I take a puff and blow in her face. The mist surrounds her face artistically, and I can't tell if it was the drugs or not but the smoke brought out the color in her cheeks. She hums and inhales the air.

"That's fucking _good,_" she mutters and spreads backwards. My hands rake up and down her skin. She stretches and I take in every little goose bump and curve while my fingernails dig into her flesh, re-familiarizing themselves. She hisses and moans.

My pants get even tighter when I get down on her level, our faces meeting. I turn the camera on us and squint at the flash. She's already biting my earlobe. My shiver is what makes her laugh.

"Leah Anna _Black has such a nice ring to it," I think aloud. She kisses my cheek and has her arms wrapped tight around my neck. "Leah Anna Black sounds like an insanely fucking hot secretary name."_

She fights laughter between every nip on my neck. The blunt is smoked out so I crush it in my fist and toss it aimlessly on the floor.

"Poca, you wanna say something?"

Her attention doesn't leave my neck. "I'm gonna make you cum first and you're gonna make me breakfast."

I roll my eyes before setting the still recording camera steady on the tripod, and turning the stereo all the way up.

**A/N If you're offended by Jacob and Leah smoking weed, get the fuck over it. I don't smoke it myself but it seems like 99.9% of the world's population does.**


	5. Honeymoon and Tattoos

**A/N No lemon cus what happens between Jake and Leah should stay between Jake and Leah. ;)**

The weed had me thinking what felt like minutes was actually hours.

Leah and I boned each other for four hours last night.

Not one, two, or even _three._

Four, long, amazing, moist, hair pulling, skin bruising, name screeching, tonguing, kissing, balls sucking, clit flicking, dick riding, doggy styling, ass slapping, tear shedding, teeth grinding, skin biting, head board banging, bed rocking, toes curling, breathtaking, limb twitching, hip thrusting, bed wetting, heart pounding, dirty talking, sweaty, ass cheek clenching, scratching, disrespectful name calling, breasts jiggling, skin slapping, calorie burning, eyes rolling back, and sheet tearing hours.

I'd like to say it was a straight four hours, but we stopped once or twice to get ourselves together. Neither of us wanted to cum first, so we held out for as long as possible. If we both weren't too proud, that probably would've lasted half an hour at the most.

Men who don't moan during sex are obviously not hitting it right. I made sounds I didn't even know a male could make.

Safe to say I'm sore as fuck. Especially when I forced myself to jog downstairs to the kitchen and make the ultimate breakfast consisting of waffles, candy, and spaghetti. Nothing can clear out a kitchen faster than a werewolf with the munchies.

I sit at the kitchen table, awaiting her to wake up and come down. We woke up kinda late, and I had a day planned for us.

A handful of minutes later, her footsteps creak from above, and they get louder as she nears the stairs. I'm already smiling before she's even entered the room. When she finally does, she's still naked-as am I- only wearing a pair of heels, hair up and face makeup free. This is when she looks her best, in my opinion. At the sight of me, she stops in her tracks and removes the lit blunt from her lips.

" 'Morning, wifey," I greet her confused expression, as she glances over at the pot of spaghetti on the stove, bag of Jolly Ranchers, and stack of waffles on the counter.

"What's all this?" she puffs and blows.

"I made you breakfast."

"I came first though," she insists then eats a waffle. "I came down here to feed you."

"Then open your legs."

Her cheeks fade in color to a red tint. She swallows. "Why'd _you_ fix breakfast?"

I sheepishly shrug. "Habit," I answer.

She sits her nude self upon my knee and blows smoke in my face, then passes me the weed. "You're perfect."

"I try."

"From this point on, I'll be making you breakfast _every _ morning. . .as long as our nights are as good as yesterday's," she purrs and kisses my nose. I nudge our noses together, put the weed back in my mouth and suck in. I blow outward.

"Eat up, and get dressed. I've gotta day planned for us."

"Really?" She straddles me, making me instantly hard. I palm her ass cheek and push her forward towards me.

"Uh huh," I growl and kiss along her chest and whatever else my lips could reach. Her kind tone turns to a sultry moan.

"Why can't we just stay in and cuddle?" She whines, stealing her blunt back as she stretches her neck to me. I bite her neck, causing her to moan yet again.

"We could do _this_," I push myself forcefully inside of her, receiving a yelp of surprise. She doesn't object to the contact Instead, she slowly begins riding. I buck forward and tease her clit. She leans back on the kitchen table, guiding my hands along her midriff.

"Shit," she moans, riding harder.

My wife rides me for another five minutes before screaming my name out in an orgasm. While injecting her pussy with my load, I let out a scream myself, smoke escaping my mouth as I do. She has to take a second to regain her breath before lifting herself from atop of me, and chowing down on her munchie breakfast.

* * *

British people are so polite. I actually wouldn't mind living here in London for a couple years. The weather was similar to La Push's, which is probably why we adapt so well here.

The first place we visit is the London Eye, which most people know as the huge Ferris wheel. It takes an hour to go all the way around, so were on our little pod for quite a while. Usually, they pods would be really crowded, but since it's daytime, the line wasn't too long, and we only had to share our pod with another couple and their kid. They were visiting from Ireland, they told us. Their son was an energetic, five year old thing who grew more and more impatient with each passing moment. I wanted to flick him like a booger cus everyone knows I can't stand kids who aren't mine. When he finally fell asleep, I relax a bit and enjoy seeing a bird's eye view of Big Ben, The Westminster Abbey, and Buckingham Palace. Leah's enjoying it as well, but just wait till she sees what I have planned for tonight.

After getting off the London Eye, we stop at this romantic little "eatery"-as the Brits call it-where she had her first plate of fish and "chips" or fries. Figuring out the currency was a struggle, but I think I'd figure it out eventually.

As stated before, English people are very polite and friendly. Almost_ too _ friendly actually.

I say so because it seems like every dude who laid eyes on Leah was oblivious to my six foot something, two hundred pound ass holding her hand. It was irritating to see them flirt with her, _but_ oh-so satisfying to watch the rejection when she flashes my mother's ring as she tells them she's taken.

I bet the same feeling washed through her when I got a few admirers as well. She was usually so jealous, but who can get angry in a place like this? Her expression was sour the instant this British chick began chatting me up. She complemented my accent. I didn't think I had one, but I soon found out that the accent thing works both ways. Americans go crazy for British ones and vice versa. Leah had to contain laughter when I show off my wedding band, and shrug the chick off.

We get back to the cottage late, but it was perfect for this idea I had.

"Stay here," I instruct her, and kiss her nose. She sits upon the couch and merges her brows together.

"What are you gonna do?"

"You'll see," I kiss her again, then jog up the stairs to the main bathroom. Based on Edward's judgement, the spacious bathtub was big enough for her and I.

The bath salts and bubble bath were placed under the sink, as is the second stash of Edward hid for me. After getting the hot water running and pouring in the salts, I roll up one and pat for a lighter in my pocket. I find it and light up, making the huge mirror against the wall fog up almost immediately.

While the tub fills up, I take my sweet time getting the camera. I set it up upon the sink counter and once it's focused and filming, there's only one more thing to do. I'd have to thank Edward big time when we got back home. He was courteous enough to gimme the idea of a trail of rose petals, explaining why there's a package of single, synthetic, red, petals under the sink.

Humming with the blunt in my mouth, I sprinkle and spread each delicate petal across the floor from the top of the stairs to the bathroom entrance.

"I smell kush!" she shouts from downstairs.

"Be patient!"

"I _am _ patient!" She yells with a hint of annoyance in her tone.

Okay, now everything is set. Just one last thing. . .

I unbuckle my jeans and let them drop to the floor. I remove my boxers, and it's nice to see I can always count on Jacob Jr. to be high at attention. My shirt goes next, and now that I'm fully naked, I sink into the tub and turn the faucet off, careful not to get my weed wet. The steaming water against my burning skin sets my pores off, making me shiver actually then growl in pleasure.

"Wifey!" I yell, hoping my voice projects. The camera's flashing, red light stares me in the face, and I stare back with a creeper's smile. Her footsteps slow down once she reaches the bathroom. She leans against the threshold, crosses her arms, and smirks at the scene I've set.

"_Wow,_" she says. "Just what I wanted: a naked guy smoking weed in a tub full a bubbles."

"Get in."

She reaches behind her to unzip the dress. "No music?"

Fuck! I knew I was forgetting_ something, _ but I play it cool. "With all the noise we're about to make, we won't really need any."

Her curls fall over her chest as the dress slips down to surround her ankles. I bite my lip at the sight of her in just lingerie.

"You sure 'bout that?"

Her lingering steps towards the tub are sensual in how her legs brush against the other, making her hips sway and her breasts swish.

Even though she was mine forever and always, there's something about her that makes me desperate like how I used to be when we first began dating. I was afraid of what we had because of the fuckery that is imprinting. That whole year was a daze for everyone. It was either shocking to find out we were an item, or expected. The pack wasn't surprised. As much as we bitched at each other, it was obvious there was more than just regular tension between us. All it took was _one_ compliment.

Those goddamn scars aren't going anywhere either. No matter how much she tried to rid of them, they stay. She refused to wear bikinis just because she's so sensitive about them. I told her of my tigress idea but she insists on covering them. They didn't make her any less gorgeous, but she's still self conscious about them.

She unhooks her bra, and it joins her dress on the floor. The arousal was too potent for us not to notice. She's already soaking wet.

The panties wiggle from between her thigh and down her legs. Her nudity is worth documenting so I hope the camera has as good of a view that I do.

I suck in on the blunt. She takes it from me as soon as she settles into the scorching water. Her legs straddle around me but we don't exactly make contact due to the way the tub is more of a pool.

Her body rubs against mine slowly, eliciting a moan. She tries to force herself upon my dick, but I stop her to savor a moment like this. Wifey takes it as a gentlemanly gesture, and simply sets her head upon my chest. She holds me tighter and inhales our scent, as well as the drugs. This was bliss.

"I love you, Jacob," she purrs, subtly lowering herself upon my crotch. I allow it.

"I love you, too."

Leah's hair brushes against my chin when she snuggles in closer.

"Two weeks before you left," I suddenly say and she leans back to gimme a blank look, my fingers never leaving the creases in her back. My thumbs stay snug like puzzle pieces within the dents of her back dimples.

"What'r you-"

"Two weeks before you left six years ago," I repeat. "That was the _last_ time we got high together."

She blinks. "How do you remember that?"

"Cus that was the last time we made love. It's kinda hard to forget actually."

She sinks deeper onto me, causing us both to groan aloud. My greedy fingers crawl downward to cup as much ass as they could, but my thumbs don't leave her dimples. I flashback to this morning.

"Let's make this hard to forget then," she whispers, never leaving my eyes. Her fingers flick upon my lips as she puts the blunt back in my mouth.

* * *

I thought to get up earlier to make Leah breakfast again, but she beat me to the punch. There's nothing more satisfying than waking up to an ass naked, smoking hot chick cooking you breakfast while she casually smokes a blunt.

"I came first last night," I say, taking a seat at the table, smirking as my arms cross over my chest. She sways her hips about in a dance, and turns around from the stove. She does a trick then blows in my face.

"I didn't know we were still playing that game."

I remove the cigarette from her lips and put it between my own. "Why're you dressed?" It seems like an odd question but it's genuine.

"Cus _I've _ got a day of my own planned for us."

"Oh, yeah?" I inhale the bacon from the stove and my stomach grumbles. She turns the stove off and piles every slice in the pan upon the plate next to her. My mouth waters the minute I'm presented with my breakfast consisting of bacon, pancakes _and_ waffles. My woman knows me well.

She takes the weed back. "So, what'r we doing today?" I ask, between chews.

Her lips curl into a sneaky smirk while her brows do something similar. "We should get matching tattoos."

"We already do," I remind her, but she groans and sits across from me.

"Naw, I mean something _really_ cute," she unnecessarily drawls 'really' as if to make a point. I stare at her for a second.

"Like?"

She shrugs and forces herself to hide another grin. "I though we could get Baby Doll's name tattoo'd on our wrists or something."

Huh. That's actually a cute idea. "Get 'Baby Doll' tattoo'd or her actual name?"

" 'Baby Doll,'" she answers, twiddling her hair.

"Alright," I nod and chomp on a pancake. "Where'r we getting them done?"

She stares at me like I'm an idiot. "A tattoo shop."

I roll my eyes. "No shit. I meant where as in what's the name of the tattoo shop?"

"Oh," she giggles and smokes. "Well, I was looking at a few places online, and found this one spot near the Piccadilly Circus. "

Sounds like such a suspicious idea given the packs got our Quiluete tattoos done by an old tribe member done at his shop in La Push. I guess taking this risk won't be _so _ bad. This is our honeymoon after all, and 'sides when has Leah ever been known to play it safe. Everyday's a walk on the wild side dealing with her.

So, after eating breakfast and getting dressed, the two of us take a pleasing stroll down to the subway or "tube" to get to the opposite side of London. Getting there was kinda difficult since I couldn't figure the terms and such out but eventually, we get to the "circus," which wasn't a literal circus, but in a way it was cus of the hype and craze.

It reminded me a lot of Times Square, not that I've ever been there though. It was crowded, but it was relaxing in a way that it was more elegant than I'd predict it be, compared to New York anyway. The Statue of Eros was definitely something worth taking a picture with, too; I really wanted to climb it just to show off, but Leah objected, not wanting to make our inhuman sense of agility and endurance an instant giveaway that we're _not _exactly of the same species as anybody else around here blatantly obvious.

The tattoo shop was a tiny, underground business that reminded me much of Embry's basement, where he fixed all the weed. My nerves were definitely wracked in the way that the shop was set up-dirty tile floors and flickering lights- but Leah was absolutely ecstatic. At first, I couldn't wait to get it over with, but once the job was done, I wanted to add more.

I received the '_Doll_' part on my right wrist in what the artists called the Abbeyline font, even though it seemed a bit girly. To manly it up a bit, I got another idea that made Leah fall in love all over again. I sketched a heart shaped locket and key on a sheet of paper for him to the best of my ability, but he got my gist.

Although it took an extra hour, Leah and I sat there just holding each other's hands as each of us got our addition. I didn't care how emasculating it was to have her hold my hand; this shit fucking _hurt_. Yes, the wolf gene made the pain go away quickly but not quickly enough.

Under the name, an antique skeleton key was intricately inked, making my whole forearm kinda sting. Leah's heart locket turned out nicely as well. We put our wrist together, and the finished product looked exactly how I intended. This idea was actually really adorable. Baby Doll was really gonna like it.

According to the artist, we got them backwards since with wrist tattoos, they're supposed to face outward for everyone else to see. But why do it that way when Baby Doll's _our_ daughter? It's for _us_, honestly.

We stay a few extra hours at the circus, holding hands to ironically show off our new ink. I spoil her a bit-something everyone knows I love doing-just for the hell of it before we return back to our cottage. We grow a bit impatient with the healing wrap so we remove them before the recommended time just to stare at them. She sets her left arms beside my right one.

"Wow," she whispers, just staring. I'm amazed at the levels of commitment we stand upon. Despite the reddening of my skin, they're pretty sweet. It was worth all the pain, actually. Imagine the res's reaction.

"We should get each other's names next time," I tell her and she lays her head upon my shoulders.

"We should," she agrees.

"This was actually kinda fun. We should get more done."

"We only have_ one _ kid."

I turn over on the mattress, and grab her along the way which makes a playful yelp peep from her mouth. My face is a centimeter or two from hers when I speak. "We should change that. Let's make another right now." My crotch sinks between her thighs, making her giggle and kiss my face.

"One baby at a time, Jake."

That's just it: I wanted another _now. _I had the strongest urge to switch her birth control with breath mints. "We can still fuck though, right?"

She scoffs. "_Ugh._ You're such a horn dog."

"Don't fake like you don't like it."

"I don't," Leah teases and begins reaching her hands down my pants.

"Not what you were saying last night when I was tearing that ass up."

"I was faking, dumbass," her lips curve fleshly over mine and down to my jawline.

"Really? I didn't know you were such a great actress. The Oscar goes to Leah Black for her role in '_Jacob, please don't stop,_"I nibble her ear. She exhales, the heat of her breath actually chilling my neck, making my lusting for her stronger. The bed squeaks upon the wooden floors as we begin to remove our clothes, dry humping and writhing about in a search for as much of each other as possible.

**A/N Safe to say Leah and Jacob aren't missing their celibacy at all. **


	6. Daydreaming

The tattoo craze didn't diminish as I'd expected.

Leah dragged me back to the circus two days later to get another tattoo. This time, we got the words '_Que Quowle_,' mine under my tribal tattoo and hers on her rib cage. Hers hurt worse than mine because the needle right over the bone. She got through it though without shedding any tears.

Several ounces of weed and a few days after getting our second tattoos, we find ourselves sitting naked in the tub again, surrounded by bubbles and hot water.

We're not saying much of anything to one another cus words don't really need to be said, so we stare at our tattoos in admiration. They look so wicked on our skin. Leah hasn't been able to stop taking pictures of them.

I cradle her in my arms protectively while her head lays against my chest, her breath tickling my pec.

Her hands glide across my sides, encasing me tightly like she's afraid I'd let her go or the other way around. It's not possible for me for ever leave this woman. We'd probably die.

She pulls me in closer, slyly running two fingers over my key. She sets her wrist beside it and sighs.

'Baby Doll', our skin reads.

This is actually the ideal way of spending our last few nights on our first honeymoon.

* * *

As polite and wonderful British people and their country are, I miss the dirty, gritty, underground, and far from polite streets of La Push. Wifey's resistance to return was undeniable since she took her sweet time gathering her clothes and toiletries, then pretending to have lose something to slow down the process. She didn't think I noticed, but I did. As her husband, I have to begin to take notice of such behavior because women think men are mind readers and geniuses who can base what they want off of their actions. So, it's time I start paying extra close attention.

Her pout was proud the whole entire plane ride home. Even through our detour she wouldn't crack a smile. I find it cute mainly because it reminds me of my daughter, who I haven't seen in the flesh for about a week and some days now. I miss her like hell.

The plane ended up arriving back to Washington at eleven something at night, meaning Doll was asleep at Sue's. She picks us up from the airport, and the first thing she notices is the tattoos.

"Mom, it's not even that big a deal," Leah insists as we pull out the airport and onto La Push.

Light raindrops moisten the ground and window shield. I lean my head against the backseat window, pretending two raindrops are racing across the glass.

"If God wanted you to get a heart lock on your wrist, he would've put one there when he created you."

"You and Dad created me. God isn't real, Mom," she answers, all knowingly.

"Then how are you alive?"

"Food, water, and oxygen."

"I meant the bigger picture, smart ass."

"Anything that ever is or was came from either Earth or humans."

"Humans didn't create the Earth."

"And you believe a three thousand foot, magical man in the sky with a long ass beard, a halo, and a magic stick did?"

Sue shrugs. "That's why when lightning strikes, it'll hit _your_ side of the car."

Leah scoffs. "Yeah, right. Anyway, back to the tattoo-"

"Why couldn't you have gotten it someplace hidden?"

"Cus we want everyone else to see how in love we are with our daughter," she explains and gives me a slick wink through the door window. My cheeks flush.

"And 'sides, I don't wanna have to lift up my shirt to show people."

Little did Sue know.

"You didn't do anything else did you? Like no piercings or anything right?"

To the best of my ability, I hide a chuckle because just the other night, her and I were discussing getting her Christina a.k.a her clitoris pierced.

"No mother," she sighs, impatiently. "Nothing too crazy for me anymore. I'm married now."

"Oh, ha-ha," I say sarcastically, and she laughs.

"Who's idea was it to even get the tattoos?" Sue asks, swerving toward our neighborhood.

"Mine," she answers, proudly. "I suggested Baby Doll's name then Jacob wanted to get the lock and key done."

"Did it hurt?"

"Lil' bit. The one one on my wrist didn't hurt as much as the one I got on my ri-_never mind_."

"What'd you just say?"

"Leah's gonna get it," I sing-song, leaning in my seat.

"You got two?"

"I didn't say that."

"What were you about to say?"

"Nothing!"

"The one on your wrist didn't hurt as much as the one on your?"

"Arm," she responds swiftly. "The one on my wrists didn't hurt as much as the one on my_ arm._"

_Nice save_. Sue groans, absolutely positive she's lying but lets the subject go- for now.

Some arguments and valid points later, we finally pull up to Sue's place. The lights are on meaning Seth's probably watching her. Since our little talk at the wedding, I didn't know how to feel towards him.

Wait, yes I do.

I don't care if he's still a sour puss over the situation. What happened happened. It'd only be awkward if he made it awkward because I'm perfectly fine.

"Doll and Charlie are in the living room," Sue explains as she hangs up her wet jacket.

"Charlie," Leah repeats, tightening her grip on my hand as we walk down the hallway to the living room. A cartoon's theme song blast through the familiar walkway from the TV.

"Well, where's Seth?" She asks.

"At the Cullen's."

I snicker, and she thwacks my chest, grimacing. "Right," she says displeased, now entering the living room.

Charlie is fast asleep across the sofa, with a tired looking Baby Doll, staring at the television screen, laying over his torso. Bronx appears from under a cushion to peer at me. His stubby tail immediately starts wagging.

"What'r you still doing up, munchkin?" Leah pokes her shoulder, but Doll's head never turns to face her. She's literally growing out of that nickname.

"Mommy," she sighs after a few moments then stretches her arms forward to be picked up.

I take her instead while Leah turns The TV off. "Miss me?" I ask, kissing her cheek. Bronx reaches to be carried too, but I just give him a look.

She shakes her head 'yes,' and sets it upon my shoulder to rest.

"Wheres her stuff?" Lee asks Sue as I rock her to sleep.

"Down here," Sue answers, leading her back down the hallway.

"Have fun with your grandparents?"

"Mhm," she mumbles quietly. "How was London?"

"It was nice. I missed you so I got you some souvenirs."

Her tiny yawn fills my ears. "Thanks, Daddy."

Bronx gives up on me, so he bounces down the hall for Leah. I hear her giddily greet him and the jingling of his tags.

"I also got another surprise for you."

"What is it?"

I slowly walk out the living room and into the hall, careful not to let my steps disturb her.

"Mommy and I'll show you when we get home."

Baby's backpack is over Leah's shoulder while the pillow is tucked under her arm. Bronx is being carried in her free arm.

"Is that everything?"

"Yeah, I believe so. Lemme say goodbye to her, okay?"

Sue hurries behind me to face Baby Doll. "Thank you for being Gramma's little helper."

Our daughter gives a tired chuckle. "Thanks for having me."

Leah takes her stuff and the dog outside to the car while Sue gives Baby a kiss on the nose. Before leaving, Sue wishes me luck on the baby making, and I actually take that luck to heart.

Baby was knocked out the whole ride home, and when I carried her up stairs to her room. After tucking her in, my wife immediately drags me towards our bedroom, and pushes me onto the bed like she had the strength of a grown man. She grins suggestively before lurking onto the mattress, and hovering over my body as if to taunt me. I reach for her face, but she backs away, settling on my stomach.

"Miss London already?"

She nods, pouting her lips dramatically. "Uh huh."

"We'll go back, I promise."

"That's not _all_ I miss."

I bite my lip. "The weed?"

"That and _him_." She smiles and leans back to caress my crotch. My hands creep up to her hips.

"I didn't think you'd miss _him_ so much considering you've been on _him_ all week. Can't lie though. I kinda miss_ her_," I whisper huskily and place my whole hand between her thighs, circling my fingers, making her purr.

She stifles her cry of pleasure, then glances to the side knowing that if we make eye contact that it was gonna be on. She shivers when I squeeze her hips, and then places her hands securely around mine as if to show me how.

She takes a breath, as if she's nervous. "Can I ask you for something?"

I nod. "Anything." See, I say that now but maybe not afterwards.

It takes her a short pauses to get what she wants to say out. Her lip twitches.

"Don't be nervous to ask me, baby," I say to reassure her.

"I just-never mind."

"What is it?"

She shrugs. "Would you mind if I started going to the shop with you again?"

The last few times she went with me were fine, but every since the guys saw some magazine article with her face in it, and found out she's a model, they've been yearning for her to return. I wouldn't wanna give then the satisfaction, but if that's what Leah wanted. . .

"Of course not," I grimace by accident. Why would she have been so nervous to ask me that? I guess it was better for her safety to be with me at all times because I almost lost her. . .twice.

Royce shouldn't mind-what the hell am I talking about? Of course that bastard wouldnt' mind. He ogles my wife more than any of them in there. They think I don't notice, but being a wolf has its perks.

"Awesome," she sighs then comes down to kiss my lips. "We should get some sleep. We're gonna be really jet lagged."

I nod and she brings the comforter over both of our fully clothed bodies. Even though we should be asleep, something tells me we'll somehow wake up naked.

* * *

It's the Friday before Baby Doll is let out on spring break, meaning there would be a lot of school ditching teenagers roaming La Push. Baby Doll begged to stay home too, but there's no way in hell we were letting her. We made sure she caught the bus before leaving for work.

Just because it's spring shouldn't mean Leah has to wear a pair of the booty shorts the pack got her. Given I didn't like how much skin shes exposing, I wasn't gonna say anything about it. She's a grown woman, so she can do what she wants. Her outfits are actually gonna begin to annoy me now that she's wifey. It shouldn't; in fact I should be showing her off cus she looks so good. I should be encouraging her to wear what she does, so that when other men fantasize and desire, it'll be a let down when they see she has my mother's ring.

But maybe I'm too possessive just because I like my woman to be _my _ woman, and not everyone else's eye candy. It something I can't stop even if she does have on sweats and her hairs a mess. Once I get her pregnant, it'll be totally different story.

"What'r you thinking about?" She asks all of a sudden, interrupting my thought process. I glance up and over at her as she sits on my counter next to my tools.

My expressions are giving me away too easily.

"Having another baby," I confess.

She blinks as if the idea seems silly. "Why this sudden obsession with having kids?"

"_Obsession_?" I repeat, wiping my hands of grease with my cloth.

"Maybe obsession is the wrong word to use."

"No, you're right," I don't bother correcting her.

"I _am_?"

I nod. "I don't wanna pressure you into having another kid if you're not ready."

Her hands fondle around one of my wrenches aimlessly as she blinks to the ground. "I mean I want more but I don't when. I wanna take full advantage of being able to conceive again, but-"

She pauses. I drown out the noise coming from the rest of the shop.

"What?"

She shrugs. "I'm ready, but I'm _not_ ready. I want to, but I don't know when. I mean we got married only _last_ week. "

I ignore my work, and walk towards her to try and give some comfort. "Yet we've wanted this for months."

Leah shrugs then reaches out to caress my face, her tattoo in my peripherals. I take her other hand in mine and bring it to my face to kiss her knuckles.

"You know I'm ready when you are."

Her lip scrunches. "You don't even like kids."

"Only if they didn't come from my penis."

She chuckles and brings our faces close. We stare for a minute.

"You know I'm ready when you are. Lemme know when you want it, and I'll be right there, okay?"

Her head nods. "You're really prepared to father _another _ one?"

"Yeah," I mumble. Events of last fall flashback when she asks that. I was ready then and I'm ready now. I cringe at how angry I still was about the lost life of who would've been my son or daughter.

"I'd father a million babies if it'll make you happy, actually."

She kinkily giggles then brings my face forward by the chin with two fingers. Her plump lips caress over mine seductively in a sensual kiss, causing us both to moan into each other's mouths.

"Aye, Black! Get back to work!" Royce's highly agitating voice commands in an echo across the shop. I turn my head to face his office to see he's peaking his . I put my hands upward in defeat.

"Sorry, boss." I shout to him, making him roll his eyes and return back to his office. Once out of sight, my raised hands quickly turn to middle fingers.

She laughs and brings them back down. "You really should get back to work," she orders me. It's so much sexier when she says it.

"Fine," I grunt, putting my hand out for her to hand me a tool. She puts the wrench in my palm. "We'll be finishing this conversation when we get home."

"Whatever you say," Wifey agrees while toying with her ring.

It's nice to see we're on the same page, so I breathe this moment in carefully. It's only a matter of time till this somehow turns into a fight.

* * *

When we arrive home, Leah and Doll began doing laundry from our trip while I fixed dinner. I was anxious all throughout the meal to get back to our conversation from earlier.

There's a lot to take into consideration with bringing a new life into this world. Lee and I sure as hell weren't ready last fall for the responsibility since at that point we were trying to re-get to know one another. I'm not saying what happened was for the better, but it was an eyeopener.

Well, we're ready now. I was prepared for nine months of odd food cravings, back aches, mood swings, nausea, and a whole lot of "_Jacob, oh my goodness, I'm so fat." _

But the true test of my manhood was after that with all the crying, whining, sleepless nights, breast feeding, diaper changing, and attempting to rock the child asleep at the darkest hours of the night.

For some reason, that's what I wanted. I wanted to be up late tending to my baby girl or boy for whatever reason. I've never had the opportunity, so maybe that's the reason for my eagerness. Leah got to have all the fun.

I smile.

Then what about Baby Doll? She adores attention, so what the hell was gonna happen when a littler being arrived, stealing her spot light? Leah and I didn't have to consult our seven year old on the decisions we wanted to make in our marriage. She shouldn't stop us. If she was gonna have an attitude about it, that'd be _her_ problem and not ours.

"What'r you so happy about?" Leah's voice fills my ears as she comes up behind me in a hug. My smile grows wider.

"I need a reason to be happy?" I ask, tasting my marinara sauce from off my huge spoon then tossing it in the sink.

"No," she kisses the back of my neck, making each hair stand at attention. "I just know you're thinking 'bout something."

"I was thinking bout the having kids thing again."

"What about it?"

I bite my lip. "I'm ready."

Her grip tightens. "Give us a few months. I just wanna be married to you first."

A few months wasn't _that _ long of a wait. She should be blown up like a balloon by summertime, meaning she can't wear her precious bikinis and short shorts.

What a shame.

**A/N YES, THIS IS HAPPENING.**


	7. Seduction

Spring break quickly turned into summer vacation. I didn't expect time to fly that fast , but it did. These few months of which Leah wanted to us to wait were a piece of cake. Our time might be soon since I've noticed she's easing up on birth control and traces of condoms haven't been detected anywhere in the house. It was only a matter of when she approaches me.

I've yet to understand as to why people say the first year is the hardest. Okay, it's only been_ three months, _ but they've been smooth sailing. There were hardly any fights, and if there was one, it'd be over something simple, without escalating to us raising our voices. Love making is still incredible, and having another baby has been quite a popular topic of discussion; It's gone from _if _ to _when_. Leah's told Sue, whose told nearly everybody which meant nearly the whole res is prepared for the moment when we reveal we're having another baby. It must have hurt Emily pretty badly given Sam still refuses to impregnate her.

Poor Em.

"Bronx!" Baby Doll calls the animal from across the beach. He gets his head out of the sand, and bounces towards the child, landing in her arms. The waves crash against the rocks in the distance, scaring the animal right back out her arms.

With her now free hands, she perfectly catches the spiraling football that Paul has just thrown from across the beach. He's smirking just as the rest of the pack is.

"We playing or what?!" He calls.

She tosses the ball back. "You're on!"

Leah's legs rest upon my lap, as she watches them run about in the wind with the summer sun tanning their already dark skin.

"She's not gonna like it, but it's almost time for her to get a hair cut," she suddenly mumbles.

As if no one knew it already, Baby Doll's treasures her hair. When we first met, it was midway down her spine. It reaches her rear now.

"She's gonna flip shit."

"I'm not gonna take off too much. Just enough."

Just as she says that, Doll runs at top speed to what is indicated as the touchdown, extending every strand on her head to blown back in the breeze. She slides across the sand, and reaches the touchdown before Embry can catch her. Bronx chases after her.

She snuggles in tighter, allowing me to loop my arm around her shoulders. Her crown sets upon my own shoulder, making her moan from the warmth.

Paul calls another play before getting into formation, then chucking the ball towards Claire. The preteen catches it, and is off to the races as she bolts across the sand to her touchdown. Baby Doll manages to get through Jared's defense, and runs in Claire's direction. Astonished at her speed, the play momentarily ceases to just watch the two. Once she's close enough, like a wild animal, Doll pounces with great force upon Claire just as she makes the touchdown. They fall with a thump and a cloud of sand floating through the air.

"_Damn_," Leah hisses.

Doll pops up first, brushes herself off, and reaches her hand out for Claire to grab. Once she does, the two lift Clair off the ground with big smiles.

That's my girl.

They get through a multiple amount of plays before the clock strikes noon. Carson had invited her to his birthday pool party, so that meant Leah and I had the rest of the afternoon to ourselves.

Or that's what I thought before Bella steal my wife away for the afternoon at her cottage. She invited me to tag along, but I decline, so now it's Bronx and I till it's time to pick up Baby from Carson's.

I stare at the animal.

He stares back.

"So, Leah and I are thinking about having another baby," I tell him. "Well, not _thinking about_. We _are._ I mean she's not pregnant yet, but she will be."

I pet his head, and he begins lowering his ears to give my giant hands more leeway.

"We've been waiting to do this for a really long time. I don't know if she's been keeping up with her nurturing prime period thingy, but I'm not too concerned about it. In fact, we're still a bit confused as to whether or not Baby Doll will be a shifter or not. We're scared more than confused. We'd love for her to be one of us, but we have our obvious worries. The fucked up part is that we don't even think she knows about the pack yet."

Or maybe she does? Weekends at my dad's could've made that so.

"What do you think, boy?"

The animal sees that I'm done stroking him for now, so he gets off my chest and onto my lap.

"Alright, fine."

His nub wags.

"Anyway, back to the baby. I've always wanted a son, so I could name him after me. I want a son that'll look exactly like me. I wouldn't mind another daughter in the slightest, but who doesn't want a little boy?"

Bronx hops off the sofa to linger elsewhere. I shrug.

"I guess I kinda already have one, huh?"

The rest of my evening was boring as hell. I thought about going back to the beach, but I didn't wanna make the trip. My dad was most likely fishing with Charlie, and my sisters probably had shit to do as well. Who would I be hanging out with on a day like this?

It takes me a while to mutter Seth's name.

Yeah, I miss him. I would go visit Sue, but the drama was unnecessary 'Sides Ness is probably over there. He hasn't taken his eye off of her since the incident. Can't blame him though. I wouldn't want her around me neither. Although I am curious as to what they were up to, I just truly didn't care about their relationship anymore. It's funny how I used to though.

Bronx decides to rejoin me on the sofa now.

I'm still bored though.

I wonder what the rest of La Push is up to.

* * *

His huge palms easily and steadily push my hips down onto him, making me wanna gasp but he puts his hand over my mouth. He puts his index over his mouth, and then points downward to remind me Sue is home. I swallow, and nod in understanding.

My lower body takes control as I begin to ride Seth, my fist balled over his chest. His face twists in pleasure, biting down onto his lip harshly, forcing his eyes to stay open to watch me. I murmur a few expletives to myself when we bottom out on each other, but it's nothing worth screaming about. His hands land on my pancake ass to squeeze while he whispers how good this feels. I speed up, but internally grimace secretly when my toes don't curl from the friction.

Seth throws his head back, exposing his neck to me while continues to mutter. His hands are getting tighter and tighter around my waist as I bounce harder and faster. My breasts lightly jiggle about.

"Shit," I mutter when I believe I begin to feel something. I ride harder to find the feeling again, but it's lost. My whine is out of frustration, but Seth probably perceives it out of pleasure.

"Oh, fuck," he whispers, careful to keep his voice hushed. "_Nessie_."

I continue, but only feel myself getting so far.

Shedding all morality and respect for myself, I shut my eyes and let my imagination run wild. As Seth goes in and out, I imagine how my fatal imprint had made me feel. How _he_ went slow when he first went in, kissing my temple as he did.

_He_ lowered himself and those lips of his hovered over my ear to speak in a deadly whisper of infidelity.

"_You like this, Renesmee_?" _He_ asked nicely and almost lovingly - like he cared.

At lost for words, I whisper back. "Yes, baby."

"_You like it like this_?" He teased, flicking and circling two fingers around my clit.

Seth moans aloud, but quickly buries his face in a nearby pillow to muffle the sound.

"I like it," I respond, bucking onto my boyfriend with ten times more force. The once was Alpha's body is what my mind is letting me imagine. Everything from how he feels to his scent. It's all coming back to me.

"_You've been a bad baby girl, Nessie_," his voice goes in his natural husky timbre.

"I've b-b-been," I lost my breath as he forced me down aggressively He flashed me a white smile which I had tried to return, but couldn't even finish my sentence.

"_You like when I fuck you like this?_" He stopped my hips to begin pounding into me, fast and intimately, making me squeal and cry for mercy.

"Yes, daddy!" I nearly holler when my imprint lost control. Seth rushes to cover my mouth, but I refuse with a growl.

"Daddy," I moaned and Jacob stretched my clenching walls even further. He snickered, but I didn't fucking care.

"Nessie," Seth groans. "Keep it down."

I open my eyes back up and see that I've replaced Seth's face with my imprint's. I ride harder, and lose myself.

"Ja-Ja-Ja-Jac-oh fuck," I mutter quietly to be sure he wouldn't hear me. He didn't so my nails sink deeper into _his_ broad chest. I wanted to scream out his name so badly just as I had that night.

Seth erupts, and empties inside of me, clinging to my hips as he does. His hot breath on my belly button makes a shiver go up my abdominal as I ride his high out. My body suddenly stops, and I release a false moan and widen my mouth in an 'O' to give the illusion that I had an orgasm too.

I pout, and kiss Seth's head. He was kissing along my stomach now, explaining how much he adored me between each peck.

"I love you, too," I respond honestly, causing him to hold me tighter.

I didn't know which was worse between the fact that I just imagined _him_ while taking Seth's virginity, or the fact that I don't feel shame about it.

* * *

Those agonizing hours lasted longer than their usual sixty minutes because it felt like forever before I had to pick my daughter up. She was reluctant to leave, but it's not like it's a school night, and she can't see him tomorrow. Once Leah finally arrived home, and cooked for us, she's practically reeking of vampire- Bella specifically. I wonder if Leah's told her about our decision yet.

After tidying up the kitchen, the three of us plopped onto the family room couch and watched television, just as we do every night. When it nears ten something, Doll yawns and ventures upstairs to tuck herself in. Leah follows her lead, and drags me up the stairs to our bedroom - but I always turn the TV back on anyway.

What a routine us Blacks have. This whole big deal about marriage being some huge change, in my opinion, was bull cus barely anything's different. Which is another good reason for another baby: something to keep us busy.

The colorful images of the television set flash about in front of my eyes, distracting me from much else. I'm not knocked out of this daze until the abrupt stop of the running water in the shower sounds off. My focus is back towards the TV, as I await my wife to emerge. I get through a few episodes of this cartoon till the bathroom door opens just as the light flicks off. I turn that way to see Leah exiting with her hair damp from the shower. I scrunch my brows together at her unreadable look of what I assume is anxiety.

"What's wrong?" I prop up on my elbows, then mute the television.

The look in her eyes says it all. They say everything she wants to, but is too shy and embarrassed to say.

Her seductive choice of lingerie should already tell me before she does.

"I'm ready."

My eyebrows fly upward. "Are you positive?"

She nods, and actually covers herself up using her arms. "Y-yeah," she shivers.

"You don't look so positive."

Leah looks to the side, but shuts her eyes to avoid me seeing that they're watering. "I am."

I sit all the way up to click the television off. "Then why'r you crying?"

Her ass takes a seat next to my feet with a thump onto the mattress. "It's okay that I'm scared, right?"

"Of me?"

Her expression goes incredulous. "_No!_ Oh, goodness_ no!_ I'm just nervous."

"What is there to be nervous about? _Making _ the baby is the fun part."

She doesn't chuckle with me, so I let my laugh die. "It's not like this is our first."

"It's just a lot of pressure," she tells me with a frown, but I force the grin off my face.

"Pressure? All you have to do for nine months is lay around and eat."

"It's more than that."

"Like?"

"It's a maternal thing."

That still doesn't make much sense. I lean forward to caress the curly hairs cascading down her back.

"Lee, if you're not ready tonight-"

"I am."

"Are you?"

Our eyes meet now. "Are _you_?"

"I've been ready for almost a year now," I admit sheepishly.

Her slender fingers latch onto my thigh. "What if something happens? What if I'm left alone again and she comes back and-"

She stops short as the discomfort displays itself boldly on my face. Over time, it's become harder for me than her. That was one of the darkest times of my life-_our _ lives.

My hand is automatically rubbing across the width of her flat midriff. "I won't let anybody hurt you."

She blinks twice before shutting her eyes completely. "What if-"

"I'll protect you. I made a vow three months ago to take care of you, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do, you hear me?"

Her lengthy lashes tickle my cheeks when she opens her eyes again.

"I have to know for sure that _this_ is what you want. If we take this step, I need to know for sure. I don't want you to regret this or be mad at me. Answer honestly: are you absolutely sure that you're ready for me to do this _now_?"

The silence between us is unpromising for tonight's events. Was she truly ready, or was she saying that for my impatience?

"Lee, I won't be mad if you're not."

I'd be upset, but never mad.

Her hung head lifts to face mine again. Her sad stare penetrates my emotions, stabbing me right in my soul's cavity. I pull her closer, forcing her to be pressed against me. She whimpers then releases a girly moan.

"Please, baby," my voice breaks. She pulls us inward towards each other. "_Tell me_."

We yearn in unison as I await her answer.

"Jacob," she mutters then nibbles along my earlobe. "I'm ready."

The edge of my mouth rises in pleasure as her hands crawl up and around my neck.

"My scars," she mumbles within our heated kiss.

"I don't give a fuck," I say honestly as her thick body slithers above me to worm her way into a straddle. Our faces don't ever disconnect. "I will kiss every last inch of your fucking scars," my husky whisper is dripping with desperation. The palms of my sweating hands stay glued to her hips and ass cheeks. I squeeze.

Her hands start a journey of their own by weaving down over my shoulders and under my t-shirt. Those slick fingers of hers slowly brush against my chest, tracing the contours and crevice of my muscles like she's trying to memorize with a few touches. Her fingers continued their dance lower with her nails grazing my nipples and down to my eight pack. My muscles automatically tensed as she touched them, each time sending another twitch to my dick. A tent slowly grows in my sweat pants.

She slows me down by kissing me softly on my nose. "Be careful with me, okay?"

I nod. "I got you."

The protective Alpha instinctive nature within tells me to be gentle, as if she's already pregnant. Another part wants to make this as wild as our honeymoon. I yearned for such a release.

So, it begins how it always does. We're kissing, moaning, and nibbling on each other passionately. Our bodies wanna escalate, causing us to strip down to our birthday suits to kiss, moan, and nibble further. Except now, the thirst is real, and my mouth is on some part of her body making her writhe and moan my name. The sheets are a victim of our time together. We can never seem to keep a nice set.

Once discarding of her lace thong, she'd leak into my mouth like an ice cold bottle of Cola, and I gulp and swallow every drip like I haven't hydrated in weeks. The taste will never get tiring hence why it's one of my favorite parts of making love to her.

She could rarely ever tolerate being fingered, so I skip it and kiss upward her body instead. Between my peppering kisses, she'd arch her upper body forward and let me swirl in her bellybutton, something that turns her on highly. Then there's her breast, which I take my sweet time licking and nibbling on the most. The adolescent in me like to watch them jiggle when I thrust inside of her.

Speaking of, that's when we were the most connected. She was good with her positioning and catching me by surprise. And with every slap and push I assaulted her pussy and ass with, she responded positively by screaming and begging for more or to never stop. I used to try and hide my enjoyment during sex because it seemed so unmanly before. That's not the case tonight.

She throws it back and tells me to pound it harder. My fingers are through her hair in that instant, tugging as if I need something to hold onto. Leah's whimper along with her infamous pout was the sexiest combination.

As much as I bite my lip to keep from saying something beyond foul, I can't stop swearing. She finds it to be a turn on especially when she's getting closer and closer to her edge. Many a times has she begged me to call her names such as 'cunt,' or 'slut,' or her favorite: 'bitch.' I get the rush because the same feeling is returned when she calls me a 'motherfucker,' or a 'pussy' and yes, even 'bitch.' It's very satisfying on a minor masochistic level.

But nothing beats when she screeches out _my_ name along with clinging to my flesh, leaving nail dents and red marks like a wild woman. Orgasms are a completely different story since it take us both a good five minutes each to come off our highs. Even when our bodies are spent and we're panting on each other, slack, we want more.

Afterwards is just as intimate. As cheesy is sounds, just staring at her before falling to sleep is what satisfied me most.

"You think that worked?" she asks half jokingly and half serious, staying pressed against my chest.

"If not," I bite her lobe. "We can always go at it again to be perfectly sure."

She turns to kiss my nose. "Hoping for a girl or a boy?"

"A boy."

Her nose scrunches in disagreement. "Why?"

"I've always wanted one."

Her face eases up. "Well, I already have a named picked out."

"What is it?"

She turns pink. "Jacob."

I smile. "Perfect."

**A/N HOW ARE YOU NOT SAYING "AWW" RIGHT NOW?**


	8. Stefani

Leah claimed that it's appropriate to take a test eight to fourteen days after conception which meant there'd be more waiting. Apparently experiencing symptoms wasn't till after four weeks after conception, so yippee for us, we got to wait even _more._

We're eager to get started on everything from turning my den into a baby room and what not, but my dad suggested we wait till it's confirmed. That didn't stop us from throwing around baby names. So far, we'd come up with JJ, short for Jacob Jr., or William, after my father. We tossed Harold around for a while, but decided it's more middle name material.

"What about girl names?" I ask, flipping through the baby names book Sue let us borrow. It's a pretty thick book. In fact, this is the very book in which Seth and Leah got their names from.

She scrubs the stove down from breakfast. "What'd you have in mind?"

I shrug and continue flipping. "I don't know. How'd you pick out Alejandra?"

She wipes the cook tops down with the damp cloth. "A part of me wanted to honor the Hispanic side a bit."

"Oh," I understand and skip to the pink section of the book to read the female names and their meanings. My eyebrows raise at how creative people aren't.

"I'm just gonna read off random names, and you tell me yes or no."

She nods, continuing to wipe down the counters.

"Taylor."

"No."

"Kristen."

"No."

"Ashley."

"No."

"Vanessa."

"No," she says almost too quickly, while she rings out the cloth and begins to do the other counters. "Sounds too much like _Nessie_."

I kinda agree. "What about Nikki?"

"No."

"Mackenzie."

"No."

"Elizabeth."

"_No. _ Are any of these names doing anything for you?"

"Honestly no."

"They're so boring. There's no spark, or flare. There'r not as pretty as Alejandra."

"Is it 'cus they're white girl names?"

She dries off the counter, and gives me a look. "Gimme some names _you _ like."

I haven't thought of girl names either. How do I beat such a pretty name like Alejandra? I pitch her some Hispanic names, but she shakes her head at them. Then I try some Italian ones but she doesn't want anything too common.

"I kinda like the name Tatum," she announces, finally sitting down for the first time this morning.

"Tatum?"

She nods.

"Sounds kinda masculine."

"_Your face _ sounds kinda masculine," she retaliates, adding an eye roll.

"Don't-chu think it sounds like tater?"

"No."

"I don't know about Tatum."

"Well you better start cus if we're having a girl, that's her name."

"Not gonna ask what I think first?"

She shakes her head and gets up from the her seat to enter the other room. "Doesn't matter what you think if Wifey's always right."

I roll my eyes, and follow her. "Okay, I'll agree because you have to be in labor for hours on end then push the little sucker out of such a tiny hole, as you scream and screech in pain that I did this to you."

She kisses me. "Glad you see it my way."

What other choice do I have? "We should see Carlisle soon."

"After I take a test."

"Why after?"

"Cus I'd wanna know before he does," she explains vaguely before taking a slouchy seat on the family room sofa next to Baby Doll.

Oh, she's slick. She sits next to BD to avoid discussing the subject. I eye her, but she ignores me.

It's easy to tell that these were gonna be a long ass two weeks. Just yesterday, I asked if she was pregnant yet, but she gives me this look. It's been a week since we did it the first time, and another three days since we did it the second time around to be positively sure. Leah had to be pregnant.

That unopened box of pregnancy test haunt me every time I enter our bathroom's medicine cabinet to take the meds Carlisle gave me. I wanted to open them and piss on one myself to make sure they'd be working right for when the time comes.

But patience is an annoying virtue. I could handle another day or two before she took a home test. That night, while folding laundry, my curiosity about her first pregnancy peaks.

"What hospital was Doll born in up in California?"

She chuckles. "Um, she wasn't really born _in_ a hospital. My water broke while I was at home, so I called up my friend from work to take me to the hospital, but I ended giving birth in the backseat of her brand new car."

I begin to laugh and she joins me then passes me a stack of my folded shirts. "She was born in the hospital parking lot, to be more specific."

"That's a lot to endure at six o' clock in the morning," I reply then cross the room to put the clothes away. "How long were you in labor for?"

"An hour and a half," she answers without fail. "Longest and most painful ninety something minutes of my life."

I envision it. It's beautiful, yet kinda disproportional to think of pushing a six to eight pound being through a such a tight and very tiny hole. Damn, she was only nineteen.

Shivers go up my spine when she hands me another stack. "You actually want to endure that again?"

"I just want another kid," she says and puts the empty hamper back in the corner.

Memories from a year ago flash back. I remember when she told me she thought she was pregnant, and then took a test that evening. She only carried him or her around for two or three months-

"Whats wrong?"

I wanted to tell her how I was feeling but what if I upset her and she began crying?

"Nothing."

"Jacob," she says softly, crawling over the mattress between us to touch my arm. Her knees sink deeper into the bed then I ease up.

"I just-" my sigh is out of disappointment. "I feel like its still my fault. Like we could've had baby number two by now if I had just been home a few minutes earlier before-"

I stop myself before_ both_ of us begin to cry. "I'm sorry."

"We weren't ready," she tries to reassure me.

"That's no way, especially for _a baby_, to die."

She blinks hard. "It's _over_. We don't have to worry anymore."

That's not entirely true. Emmett told us 'when we least expect it.' I'm gonna keep his word in mind.

"I know it may sound weird coming from me, but I'll protect you, too. As long as you've got my back, I got yours. Tomorrow marks a week and a half, so after work, we can do the test. Sound good?"

Her forehead nudges mine. "Okay," I agree and take her hands in mine. God, we're cheesy. It's moments like these where someone needs to put a camera on us and call it a movie.

When midnight falls, she's passed out over the comforter, drooling mildly upon my pillow. To avoid disturbing her, I leave her like that and check up on Baby Doll before jogging down the stairs to watch TV.

It technically is tomorrow now, so it wouldn't be wrong for me to wake her up to take the test. I shake my head, and distract myself by watching TV before dozing off on the sofa.

* * *

It must've been my lucky day. Royce called just after I wake up to tell me someone else has my shift, giving me a day off. I slept in later than usual, and woke up to my wife cooking up something up in the kitchen. Doll and I watched cartoons for a minute before Lee pulls me to the side.

"Ready?"

Hell, I was having such a good day so might as well milk this good luck streak as much as possible.

"Let's do it."

We climb the stairs and enter our bedroom, shutting the door behind us.

"Nervous?" I ask.

She shrugs. "Are you?"

I wobble my hand back and forth. "Lil' bit."

She returns from out the bathroom with the box in hand, already opening it up. Once she has the stick out, she tosses the box onto the bed. Her hand pats the surface of her stomach. "Kiss for good luck."

I kneel before her like a peasant does to a queen, and lift her shirt. Her scars imprint themselves in my memory. I run a finger over each one, causing her to shiver, and she pets my head to bring my face closer. My lips start at the second scar and peck all the way to the edge of the third.

I sigh, trying to shake those sickly images of how she got these scars. "Jake, it's okay," she whispers.

"It's still my fault," my hot breath hazes along her belly button. My hands don't leave her hips.

She shakes her head, which is long enough to tickle the side of my face. I get back to my feet, and breathe a bit again.

Her smile is reassuring. "I'll be out in a minute."

She goes into the bathroom, and the light clicks on. I sit and stare at the door while my fingers drum erratically against the night table.

Growing annoyed with myself, I reach behind to grab the box. It says it takes three minutes.

I hear the toilet flush, then the faucet run. Leah exits the bathroom, staring down at the test in her damp hands. Goosebumps collectively pop up over my arms.

"Two stripes is a yes, one is a no," she informs me, taking a seat beside me. I nod and lose almost all ability to breathe, but I relax.

"I thought of another girl's name."

She sets her head on my shoulder. "Better than Tatum?"

"Teigan," I tell her.

Her silence is perceived as expected disagreement. She finally speaks up.

"I like it."

Hallelujah. "Tatum Teigan Black," I test the name out to make sure ir rolls off the tongue pleasantly.

She lifts her head to look at me. "I actually like Teigan Tatum better."

"So, is that the name we're settling on?" I ask and she shrugs.

"We might have a completely different name by the time I go into labor. Before Leah, my name was supposed to be Lana."

"Lana? That's not much of a change."

"It is from Stephanie, spelled S-t-e-f-a-n-i."

"Stefani," I say. She didn't look like a Stephanie or rather a Stefani.

"Yeah, Sue went through this No Doubt phase when she had me." That's kinda funny to imagine.

"Check the stick," I tell her.

She gulps, takes my hand, and squeezes when she sees two pink lines.

She giggles childishly as I wrap her in a hug, kissing and pecking everything from her face to stomach.

Finally; _fucking finally._

I peck her stomach over and over again, muttering to the embryo inside, knowing he or she can't hear me. I don't care. Being this happy should be an everyday thing.

"When do you wanna tell everyone?"

She runs her hands through my hair. "How bout we don't and surprise everyone night months from now?" Her joking tone makes me roll my eyes in mock annoyance.

"I take it we'll go see Sue in a while?"

"And Seth," she adds.

"Yeah, him too."

"Promise you'll be nice?"

"If you'll be nice to Nes-"

"_That_ name is forbidden in _this_ house," she warns through grit teeth. "I'll be nice but I still can't stand her."

"Good girl," I kiss her bellybutton then realize something. "How do we tell Doll?"

Her eyes widen.

Damn, neither of us hadn't thought about her reaction. Time to prepare for the war.

"Let's tell her after we go see Carlisle," she answers.

"After?"

She nods. "I'm so not in the mood to hear her whining and complaining. Let's go see Sue first."

Sounds like a plan. Given we'd have to face Doll's devil side later on, we can be happy about it regardless.

* * *

"Look who finally stopped fucking long enough to come see me!" Sue exclaims as soon as we take a step through the threshold. I shut the screen door and blush while Lea gives her mother a hug.

"You're funny," Leah replies, showing no signs of sheepishness.

"I try. Where's my little Baby Doll?"

"She went to a friend's for the day," I answer and take cautious steps to the living room, listening out for Seth or Nessie. The two of them are walking towards the kitchen, so I follow.

"What'r you guys up to?" Sue asks us as Leah dips her head in the fridge and come back out with a piece of meat in her mouth. I take a seat at the bar counter.

"We got some pretty big news," I say while Lee chews and nods her head.

"Big news? What's up?"

Leah swallows and pats her tummy. "I'm knocked up."

Sue's eyes go big. "For real?"

"For real?"

"Are you serious?"

"As serious as a vampire attack."

"How far along?"

"Almost three weeks."

Sue's cheeks round and her eyes wrinkle in her big smile. "I'm so happy for you guys."

"Yeah, we're pretty hyped. Where's Seth? We wanna tell him, too."

My mother-in-law's smile goes from happy to mischievous when she nods towards the back room. "Down there."

I cock my brow at her when Leah turns her head. She winks.

To avoid drama, I speak up. "Is _she_ here?"

Leah tenses up.

Sue groans. "Yeah, she is."

Instead of slurring an insult under her breath, Leah actually grins a bit. "Seth! Nessie!" Leah calls down the hall.

It takes a few seconds before the two of them arrive around the corner into the kitchen. I hide a disrespectful smirk as Seth makes eye contact with me as Nessie does Leah. The second I turn away, Nessie meets my stare now, making my smirk disappear.

I despise how much I- _never mind_._ Let it the fuck go, Jacob. _

"Leah," Seth says as a greeting, raising his eyebrows at the sight of us two. Ness clings to his arm then tries to sneak behind him, using his body as a shield in case of Leah pouncing. "Hey."

"We have some news."

"_We_?"

Leah rolls her eyes. "_Jacob_ and I."

"What is it?"

She smiles broadly at her brother. "I'm pregnant."

As soon as she says that, Ness's eyes widen and she takes another look at me again. I scrunch my eyebrows together in confusion of her stunned look.

"You're having a _baby_?" He actually grins a little. That's unexpected.

"Naw, we're gonna have a rhino. We thought that'd be more appropriate than a human child."

Sue and I snicker while Seth just rolls his eyes at her thick sarcasm. "Well, I'm happy for you. Won't be too long till we'll_ b_e having babies, too."

Nessie and Sue shoot him a mutual glare of uncertainty, shock, and a mix of that traditional, not to be messed with Clearwater stare. He puts his hands up in defense and begins laughing.

"I was just kidding," he swears.

"Better be," Sue mumbles while Nessie just rolls her eyes and sneakily looks Leah up and down some more.

This went better than I thought it would. We stayed there for a few till it was time to get Baby Doll. My nerves were jumpy at how she'd react. She's happy and cheery the car ride home, but that'd change really soon.

"Doll, we need to talk to you about something," Leah announces as we stroll into the kitchen. She sinks into her usual seat after getting a juice box from the fridge.

"What's up?"

Leah sits across from her while I lean on the counter with my arms folded.

"So, you know a few months ago, I was pregnant, but I lost the baby."

She nods sadly. "Yeah."

Leah glances at me quickly then back to her. "After getting married and taking some time to think this over, we decided to try again and you're ugh. . .gonna be a big sister."

Her face falls. "What?"

"Mommy's pregnant," I tell her but her frown never disappears as she shakes her head. The hurt is clear in the child's eyes as she let this news sink in. She takes a sip of her juice, cross her arms and huffs.

"_No_."

The word comes our harsh and stern. It was blunt.

"No what?" I question.

"I don't want another baby in the house."

"Well, it's not always about what _you_ want."

She rolls her eyes and mumbles something under her breath.

"What was that?" I ask but she just shrugs me off.

"Nothing."

"That's what I thought."

"Can I leave?"

"Bye," I sass and she skips out the kitchen, like a three year old, juice box in hand.

"Well," Leah begins and gets up from the table. "That went down better than predicted. You looked like you were about to pop her."

"I was. I hate when she gets an attitude."

When Lee and I were kids, rolling eyes and crossing our arms was either a pop in the mouth, a spanking- with a belt, wooden spoon, etc.- or being locked in the closet. Discipline with La Push parents were no joke.

"Then why didn't you?"

"Cus I spanked her last time," I remind her. "It's your turn."

She chuckles and throws her head back. "I think having another kid is punishment enough for her. Do you even know why she doesn't want to be to be a big sister?"

"She said she likes the attention shd gets. She wasnt like that before you guys moved from La Push right?"

"I think why we moved back to La Push is why she craves this much attention. In California, it was just me and her all day and night. There wasnt really any one else around-who I trusted- that gave her that much attention."

I nod. "You didnt spoil her, did you?"

She grins sheepishly. "Well, a little. It was just us and she's my first born so. . ."

That makes sense. It's not like Baby Doll was a spoiled brat cus she's a very sweet girl. She has what Leah had before Sue had Seth: Only Child Syndrome. Well, that's what Sue called it.

"I see," I reply and stand straight off the counter to near her. She sits upward a little so I can rub her stomach.

"This should be fun, huh?"

"You ready for me going into bitch mode for nine months?"

"I'm used to bitch mode."

"But for nine months?"

I hutch my shoulders. "I'll be alright."

"Fine," she kisses my neck and leans forward to whisper in my ear. "Don't say I didn't warn you."


	9. 8 Weeks

8 WEEKS_ - YOUR BABY IS THE SIZE OF A RASPBERRY!_

_What To Expect When You're Expecting _is the title printed on the thick, white, paper back book that Leah held before her face as she sits Indian style on our bed. After reading the title, I give her a look of confusion.

"What?"

"Don't you already know what to expect?"

"I wasn't pregnant long enough last time to expect anything and how am I supposed to remember _anything _ from six years ago?" She answers, her eyes never leaving the page.

I bend down to tie my work boots just as Bronx strolls in. I stay down to rub along his back. "What's it say at eight weeks?"

"Apparently at eight weeks, the baby can move her arms and legs, her fingers and toes are webbed, and she's forming taste buds," she answers then flips the page. Her hand rubs over her slight bump. At eight weeks, nothing's noticeable which meant she can still wear what she does. I thought by summer's end, she'd be huge. It's August and all she has is a barely noticeable bump.

"Interesting," I say and pat my pockets for my phone and such. "What else does it say?"

She reads on a bit before answering. "Says I need to start investing in maternity clothes and drinking plenty of water. All the symptoms seem to be correct. Nausea, sleepiness, cramps, sore titties,-"

"Bitchiness?"

"That's not till ten weeks, but thanks for playing."

The pup gets off his back to attempt to jump upon the bed but fails, so I pick him up and toss him towards her. She dodges the ball of fur not even stopping to glare at me. The door creaks open behind me and I turn to face Baby Doll, who's dressed and ready to spend the day with my sisters.

"When'r we leaving?" She asks, hugging my waist, using those huge doe eyes of hers.

"Good question," I roll my eyes to Leah. "When are you getting dressed?"

"For?" She asks, finally moving the book from her face. He snuggles into her lap.

I gesture toward my get up of work clothes while she looks down at her underwear and sweatshirt. Her hair isn't brushed nor has she taken her shower yet.

"Do I _have _ to go with you today?"

I shake my head up and down rapidly. "You wanna go with Doll and my sisters?"

"I can go to my mom's," she suggests but thinks for a second. "Naw, I'll just stay here."

"Fine, but you'll need a babysitter."

Doll snickers but she grimaces, not finding my teasing tone at all amusing.

"Babysitter my ass."

"Well, just someone to watch over you while I'm gone for the day. And even then, I'll be a nervous wreck."

"I know you're trying to protect me, Jake, but-"

"Leah, _please_," I beg of her and she softens up. She shuts the book, rolls-yes,_ rolls- _out of bed, lands on her feet, and makes her way towards the bathroom. Bronx makes himself comfortable on my pillow.

"I'll go to the Cullen's. Will _that_ make you happy?"

I'd rather she be safe with them than anyone, to be honest. "Yes, but hurry up cus I don't wanna be late."

"Sure, sure," she mutters, entering the bathroom. My eyebrows fly up; that's_ my _ line.

Just because I told her to be quick doesn't mean she actually listens. Twenty minutes later, I except her to come down stairs looking like she's about to go to a photo shoot, so imagine my immense confusion when she comes down with her hair still wet from the shower while wearing something similar from before. I leave my comment to myself to avoid a fight so I won't be late.

After dropping Doll off at Paul and Rachel's, I swoop by the Cullen's. It seemed like being in a totally different place going near there. I'm used to the trees and such, but the homes in La Push were so close by and not so remote. They lived in Narnia compared to the rest of us.

The Rabbit's engine dies after I take the key out. She gives me a look before nearly dashing out the car.

"Why'd you kill the engine?"

"Cus I just wanna ask you something and I'm expecting a thorough answer."

She releases her eager grip off the door handle. "Weren't you just rushing me out the house?"

"Royce doesn't care if I'm late," I remind her.

Her eyes widen in disbelief. "I could've gotten all pretty?"

"No one was stopping you."

"But you told me to rush."

I give her a look. In the twenty minutes she had, she could've whipped on some mascara and jeans. "Can I just ask my question?"

"Ask away."

My inhale is sharper than intended.

"How did you and Bella become so close?"

She turns her head from the glass house to me. "Jealous?" There's no hint of taunting in her tone but I feel it anyway.

"Curious," I correct her.

"Why?"

"Cus just last year, you couldn't _stand_ the chick."

"Shit happens," she answers but I still wanna know more.

"What'd you guys talk about that one time when I went to talk to Edward when Seth and Nessie were missing?"

Her plump lips tighten together but she eventually opens them back up. "We just understand each other on a maternal level. I could ask the same about you and Ed-"

I stop her there. "You don't see me and him having sleepovers and sharing clothes and being all _lesbonic_."

Her soft chuckle eases my nerves. I didn't even realize how rowed up the conversation was making me.

"_Lesbonic_," she repeats while her laughter fades. "How would you feel if-" she bites her bottom lip and drums her fingers on the car door. "How would you_ react _ if you walked in on Bella and I being _lesbonic_?" She laughs at the word again.

Such an odd question. "Honestly, the sixteen year old in me would probably wanna join in."

"What would the twenty six year old in you do?"

I've already had this discussion with myself. "I'd be a little too turned on to get angry."

Her shocked expression causes me to shrug. "You_ wouldn't_ be angry?"

I shake my head. "I don't think so."

"Wow," she responds. "Funny cus I'd be pretty angry if I walked in on you and Ed-"

"And that's when it's time for you to go!" I interrupt and start the engine again before I can picture it. Leah laughs and puts her hands up in defense.

"I'm just saying!"

A bad taste enters my mouth. "Bye, Leah."

Her red lips peck my cheek but she still hasn't stopped laughing yet. "I love you, baby."

"Love you, too. Have fun, eat your vegetables, do something productive," I say, kissing her back. Just as she opens the car door, Bella's at the door, laughing as well. Damn, they must've heard our conversation.

The two of them flash me one more smile and wave before I pull off wishing she hadn't said what she did. But why would she ask such a question?

I don't think too hard about it when I pull up to the garage. Royce sees the Rabbit but his face falls when I stroll in alone.

"No wifey?!" he calls to me while I punch in. I smirk.

"Not today."

Disappointed, he goes back into his office. Bet that ruined his day.

I will admit that it's boring without her here but a little piece of her was here to occupy me when I pop in her favorite JT album. We're not allowed to wear ear phones while on the machinery in fear or the wires getting caught somewhere, so blasting it over my radio would suffice. I reminisce on our wedding night.

_Ah_, good times.

The work flow went by graciously except when Royce would do his spectating. We didn't make eye contact when he'd glance over at my section, in hopes of Leah magically being here. The closest thing besides the music was a picture of her and BD I had pinned on my bulletin work chart.

Check out time came faster than expected. I doubt Leah was ready to leave her little girlfriend yet, so might as well take a ride to Sue's. When the Rabbit pulls up to her place, I notice her car is gone. Eyebrow raised, I go in anyway hoping to find her. If the doors unlocked, she or someone else must be around.

"Sue!" I yell aloud in the house, hoping she was around. "Mrs. Clearwater!"

I wait a while and walk the hallway path to the kitchen. "Mother!" I try again.

A shrill yelp comes from behind me and my heart nearly stops till I turn and see a shocked Nessie clutching her chest.

"Jeez, you scared me," she says then sips from her water.

"You didn't hear me pull up?"

"I thought it was Sue."

"Oh," I say and do my best to avoid staring at the fact that her see through white V-neck.

"Where is she anyway?"

She screws the top back onto the plastic bottle. "Her and Seth went to the grocery store. You can wait here till they come- never mind," she catches herself before finishing the invitation.

"Good call," I mutter under my breath. "Can you just tell Sue I, um, stopped by?" I ask of her so I can get the hell out. Just being around her made me hate myself.

"You want _me _ to tell her you stopped by? That implies a few things."

I frown._ Dammit_.

"Okay, I'll just go then," I say as a goodbye but her sigh stops me.

"Jacob, wait."

"No, no, no," the panic sputters out my mouth. "If I stay, I'll do something I regret."

"Why'r you so paranoid?" she asks calmly. I swerve on my heels to face her gentle face. Her apologetic expression consists of a serene side smile. My breath returns.

"I'm sorry. No offense but I'm really jumpy and nervous around you for _obvious _ reasons."

She nods in understanding. "I get it."

"I don't mean to hurt your feelings."

Nessie's red side bangs falls over half her face when she looks to the ground. "It's fine."

"At least smile so I don't feel like an ass."

She chuckles. "I just wanted to congratulate you on the whole marriage thing since I didn't really get the chance to at your wedding. Oh, and the baby, too. I'm really happy you guys decided to try again."

My smile can't be any broader. "Thanks."

"Yeah, I wanted to the other day but I'm kinda scared of your wife so. . ."

"Understandable," I agree, motioning towards her.

"You got a tattoo?" She suddenly asks, pointing towards my wrist. I look down at my arm and grin.

"We got them on our honeymoon. Her's says 'Baby' with a little heart locket," I explain, showing her the ink. She runs her fingers out my skin, making me shiver, but quickly removes her hand cautiously.

"Did it hurt?"

"Like a bitch."

She nods, staring at the design with great focus. Little by little, she gets unintentionally closer, so to save us both, I back away and roll up my sleeve to show her the other one.

"We got these too. Hers is on her ribs," I tell her when she reads the words under my faded tribal one.

"_Que quowle_," she pronounces it perfectly. "That's Quiluete, right? What's it mean?"

"It translates to 'stay with me forever.'

Nessie smiles and her cold breath chills my bicep. I shiver in pleasure.

_Jesus. . . _

"Aw," she coos. "That's cute."

Goosebumps surface both my arms when she leans over the counter closer than needed to inspect the tattoo. I catch her gulping and resisting to touch my arm so she backs away, not a few feet, but till the other end of the kitchen. I gulp as well and fix my shirt, pretending not to notice our discomfort.

"Um, so, I'll just go now," I tell her, toying with my wedding band as a reminder. "Nice seeing you, Ness," I rush the words out, not waiting to hear her goodbye. I make a mad dash to the Rabbit and slam the door shut with angry and anxious force.

Once the Rabbit is roaring and ready, I slow myself down.

Damn this.

My hold on the wheel eases as I back out and back onto the main road to The Cullen's.

* * *

I knew the bum side of Leah wouldn't last. When I go to get her, the sweats were gone and skinny jeans and a very tight shirt replaced them. Her bump was hella noticeable now. Her face was done up how it usually is, courtesy of Alice. Bella invites me in but in fear of Edward hearing me freak out about my very close encounter with his daughter, I decline and wait till Leah comes out their glass castle. She looks like a teenager while she's kissing her friends goodbye and hoping down their stairs, holding a sheet of square, black paper in her hands.

She looks nineteen again.

"Have fun?" I ask, pulling out their driveway and onto home.

"Yes, I did. Bells gave me some clothe to change into when-"

"_Whoa_," I stop her. "_Bells._"

She blushes. "Is that your thing still?"

"Um. . .not really," I assure her, considering I don't even talk to Bella like that anymore.

"Well, she gave me some clothes after I got this done," she presents the black paper to me.

I stare harder at the figure through the wavelengths of the ultrasound. "That's what our little sucker looks like at eight weeks?"

"Yup. We can't tell what the sex is yet, but I have a very strong feeling we're having a bouncing baby girl."

"Girl," I repeat and turn into our neighborhood. "I have a feeling that _she_ is a _he_."

"You don't have a little raspberry floating around in your uterus so how the hell can you _feel _ anything?" She teases.

"It's a manly pride thing," I answer but rewind her sentence. "_Raspberry_?"

"That's what Carlisle called her. At eight weeks, the embryo is predicted to be at least the size of a raspberry."

"If he's only the size of a raspberry then why do you have a bump?"

"Who knows?" She shrugs. I expected her to know with all her reading and such.

"So, at how many weeks can we tell the sex?" I knew she had to know that.

"Eighteen to twenty weeks. I found out I was having a girl the first time at nineteen weeks, but-"

"But?"

"Can we wait?"

"Wait?"

"Can we be surprised when _he_ or _she_ comes out?"

"I'm all for the idea, but what about the nursery? We can't have our baby boy in a room with hot pink walls."

"Then we'll decorate it to be unisex so it'll work out either way. Speaking of the nursery, I hate to break it to ya, hot stuff, but it's time to say goodbye to your den or man cave or whatever you wanna call it."

_Oh, _ that's right. The extra room I had in the back next to Baby Doll's room was intended to a second bedroom, but in my time alone, I made it into a man cave. Turning my well put together den into a baby room was a bitter sweet action. I wanted to but I didn't feel like lugging that equipment down to the basement.

Now I wish I never brought it up.

How do you decorate a unisex nursery anyway?

* * *

_10 WEEKS - YOUR BABY IS THE SIZE OF A PRUNE!_

"Green."

"Yellow."

"Why green?"

"Why yellow?"

"Cus it's a unisex color."

"As is yellow."

"Yellow is the color of piss," I point out.

She takes a swig from her huge water bottle that Carlisle suggested she begin carrying around. That and the expecting book haven't left her hands since we hit eight weeks.

Her foot taps upon the carpet annoyed and impatiently. "You're a fucking moron," she finally says after a few minutes of staring at the white walls of what used to be my man cave.

I don't take it to heart. Week 10 brings, aches, nausea, bigger belly and boobs, vaginal discharge -oh, God- and fatigue. If I had to go through half that, I'd call me a moron too. I just dislike yellow; it's such a sour looking color. But for some reason, she thought that was a cute color for a boy.

When the watering began in her eyes for what felt like the _fifth_ time that day, I silently groan and put my arms around her.

"Okay, I'm sorry," I apologize when she begins to sniffle and bury her head in my chest. "I agree that I'm a fucking moron, alright?" I rock her and she cries even harder. These hormones were definitely kicking her ass.

"I just want the room to look pretty," she whines, holding me tighter. I grin and kiss her crown.

"It will."

"What's so wrong with-" sniffle "yellow walls?"

I cringe. "Why don't we do something we can both agree on? Maybe like a purple, brown, red, blue?"

Her tears create a puddle on my pecs through my shirt. "I like bl-blue."

Okay, we're making progress. "Nothing too masculine or feminine. Maybe like a light, minty, baby blue."

She nods against me and calms herself down. "That'd be pretty. C-c-can we have wall decorations, t-too?"

"Yeah, we can put up wall decorations. We can have a family photo, and a cute nursing station, millions of stuffed animals, a mobile. All that adorable stuff."

She sniffles again and drinks more water while I wipe her drenched face.

"We can get Alice to help," she suggests. Thank goodness for the little pixie woman cus I certainly couldn't do this by myself or with Leah cus she'd break down in tears every five seconds.

"Good," I agree and rub along her back. "Feel better?"

Leah nods and takes in the space we're working with. "I'm sorry. I'm just-"

"No, I understand."

Her plump smirk quickly turns into a thin, stern line. "Fuck you. You don't understand a goddamn thing about what's going on with my body, you dickhead!" she retaliates and stomps her foot before storming out the room, beginning to cry and weep again. The baby book hits the floor, but her water bottle stays in her grasp.

I blink and go over the conversation to figure out what I did or said wrong. After standing there for a few moments, I pick up the expecting book from off the ground and flip to one of the dog eared pages, in hopes of finding _10 WEEKS._ Once I get there, I read over the chapter.

**A/N The Host should've been called The Most cus that's what Stephanie Meyer is doing. Can she write another Twilight book or. . .**

**Anyway, please review, follow, and favorite cus pregnant Leah is just glorious, huh? **


	10. 16 Weeks

**A/N My spring break ends this Tuesday and I have a 5-page paper due by then. Guess who hasn't even started yet. Woe is me. :( Anyway, please favorite, review, and follow cus it'll put a smile on my face and a happy writer makes for a happy story! Okay, this won't be a happy story, but _still. _**

13 WEEKS -_ YOUR BABY IS THE SIZE OF A PEACH!_

"_At thirteen weeks, she's about 2.9 inches long, and weighs about .81 ounces_," Leah reads aloud.

"Wow," I reply, highly fascinated as I position the picture within the frame to be parallel with the other wall decor. "What else does it say?"

"She's got vocal chords, fingerprints, and she's forming teeth."

"_Teeth_?"

"Uh- huh," she plops into the huge, brown, arm chair on the opposite side of the room. I hear Bronx's tags from down the hall.

"Jacob, move the frame over a bit to the left."

I shift it in the slightest and move to see if I got it. She gives me a thumbs up, and I back away to see the wall.

It took three weeks, but the nursery's finally finished. The walls are minty blue while the furniture is a deep mahogany. As promised, stuffed animals surround the elegant crib Alice picked out while the mobile spun overhead.

It looks like something out of magazine catalog. I'm proud of it. It was hard work, but it's nothing compared to what's to come. Tired, I take a seat next to her feet rested upon the ottoman. She rearranges her legs to be in my lap.

"What'r reading now?" I ask just as Bronx bounces in and makes himself comfortable at my feet.

"This is the end of the first trimester," she replies, flipping the page and dog-earing it. "Supposedly it's the hardest of all three."

"So no more mood swings or attitude?"

"Not that the book says. My boobs won't stop growing though!" She giggles then shuts the book, and places it upon the night table beside the chair.

I won't lie and say I haven't noticed her increase from a 36C to a whopping 40. "Goddamn," my tongue catches the drool as it drips out the side of my mouth.

"Speaking of boobs, though," she crawls toward me and meets her face to mine. "They say that these hormones make the sex drive go through the roof."

"Word?"

She nods and takes my bottom lip between her teeth before sucking me in entirely. Our tongues curve and swerve around each other's, eliciting a moan.

I stop us to give her a look, asking all the question I feel are too awkward to ask aloud.

"Yes, it's completely safe, she can't feel a thing, you won't be hurting her or me-"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

I swallow and caress her toes softly. "I wanted to ask you about it at some point. I've never done anything like this before, and I really don't wanna hurt you."

"I'm not that big yet, so don't worry about hurting either of us. There'r some positions we can't do though but I just-" she wraps her arms around my neck to pull me in. "I just wanna try it. Pregnancy orgasms are supposedly better than regular ones and I wanna do everything I couldn't last time."

I kiss her hard, squeezing her face in my hands. She moans again. Bronx whines but we ignore him.

"Do you even still find me attractive?" she asks.

"How do I _not_?"

She pulls away. "Like, you don't think I'm gross? I've gained a few and-"

"I don't care," I respond honestly. Of all the phases and looks that Leah's gone through, from her odd hipster thing in the nineties to her modeling thing, her pregnancy thing was the most gorgeous. I don't know what it is, but just the fact that she's carrying a piece of me inside her stomach-okay, that sounded wrong.

What I meant to say was it kinda turned me on that _I_ did this to her. I put a baby in her like husbands have been doing to their wives since the beginning of time. Her bump was cute. It actually intensified her presence.

She grins. "So can we try?"

I'm hesitant, but I'll admit I've wanted to give it a shot. "Are you sure?" I ask again.

Her lips pressing gently upon mine is her answer. I hold her face again and get my tongue in slicker this time. Her arms loop stay around my neck so my hands place themselves just above her bump, upon her rib cage I lift us, and she automatically wraps her legs around my waist. I carefully step out into the hallway, never disconnecting our faces, and down to our room. I refuse to bang my wife in our future child's nursery especially if she's still carrying the little guy around.

After shutting the door behind me to avoid Bronx interrupting, I use the softest of touches laying her down on her back, and separating her legs to reveal her soaked shorts.

She removes her jacket and flings it off to the side. I do the same to my shirt before meeting her face in a kiss. I don't lean too much but by the way she's urging me, I see that it's okay. She flips me onto my back and everything after kissing from my chest down, we take each other to the moon and back. Yeah, I'm scared as hell, but I know I shouldn't be. She's moaning in pleasure, and if she doesn't like something, she'll tell me.

I gulp and go deeper, savoring these few months we have before we're up all night, tending to a child instead of banging like gorillas.

After splitting my ears open with a orgasm evoked shrilling scream, we give out slack on each other. She removes me from inside of her, and turns towards my chest.

I catch my breath to say something, but before I can, she pops up and races to the bathroom, just mumbling to herself.

"Lee?" I call to the closed bathroom door.

I hear shuffling on the other side for a few seconds till her voice comes in.

"I'm fine, Jacob. Carlisle said this was normal."

"Carlisle said _what_ is normal?"

"Spotting."

I don't speak woman so I sit there thinking about what the hell that even means.

"Spotting?" I finally question.

"I'm bleeding."

As soon, as I hear that, my heart stops and panic washes over me. "Bleeding?"

"It happens after sex. It's perfectly normal."

_Perfectly?_

I remove the comforter from over my legs and inspect her spot. It's not even a lot; just a few drips . Nothing a quick scrub can't get out so I jump up to pull on my briefs, go down the hall to the linen closet to get a cloth, and knock on the bathroom door.

Bronx follows eagerly to see what the commotion is all about.

She opens up to reveal she's put on underwear-not her usual thong or g-string, but _bikini_ underwear- and a maternity night shirt.

"I didn't make too much of a mess, did I?" she asks bashfully.

I shake my head, and get passed her to turn the cold water faucet on. The chilling water brushes over my fingers as the clothes gets wet. I turn the faucet off, exit the bathroom back to the bedroom, and get to scrubbing. The stain comes up with a few strokes so once it's a lighter red, I toss the cloth into the hamper.

She has Doll's pet in her arms as her dark cheeks are reddening to the extreme while she avoids meeting my eyes crawling back into bed. I watch her for a second till getting back in with her.

Black strands sprawl against my chest now. I play in her ends, but I can't help asking this next question.

"What's the matter?"

She shakes her head then begins a circling motion upon our bump. She slows down then speeds her hand back up after a few seconds.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not."

I sigh. "Then just talk to me."

The room stays silent. Our dog curls up in a ball at her feet.

"Okay," I say to myself.

Her hand stops all of a sudden before it reaches over to grab mine and set it upon our thirteen weeks worth of waiting. I'm shocked at first but relax when my usual heavy handed mannerism is a little lighter. I rub in circles under her hand and turn to my side to get a better feel.

"Sue was telling me that if you just stroke the stomach, it helps creates an early bond with the baby," she informs me and I continue to rub her belly. I wanna feel him kick.

"That's what she did with Seth and I."

I go over her belly button. "Thirteen weeks," I say in awe. "It's only been thirteen weeks."

"Only twenty-eight more to go."

My lips peck her ear before muttering how much I love her. I expect a similar response but am startled instead by the sound of her sniffling and a few tear drops stray off her face and onto my chest.

"What is it?"

She shakes her head. "Noth-"

"Don't say _nothing. _ Just talk to me, baby, it's alright," I hope I sound reassuring.

Leah wipes the tears away, and continues rubbing our bump. "What if something is wrong with her?"

I don't say anything.

"Wh-what if she has something mentally wrong with her, and no amount of love or medicine can keep her alive-"

She's bawling now. She quits stroking to cover her face. I bring her in to kiss her forehead.

"What if she's a victim of SIDS and _we _ can't do a damn thing about it? What if she's stillborn and nothing Carlisle, me or you can do can save her?Jacob, I'm almost to that point!" she yelps, making me feel uncomfortable when that's what she needs the most right now- comfort.

The tears are coming in the bucket loads.

"What if she's born breach and-"

Everything she was saying was beginning to get to me. I imagined the perfect child but now there's worry. What if it's all true?

I cut her off.

"Nothing's gonna be wrong with her. She's gonna come out beautiful, healthy, and crying with all ten toes and gorgeous features and. . .and-"

I get choked up too, but fight pass it. "If you think negatively, negative things will happen."

"I'm sorry I can't give you a perfect child," she weeps, referring to her incident with Rosalie. Flash backs accidentally make their way out of the back of my mind. Her scars are a constant reminder.

"You_ can_ give me a perfect child. You _already _ have, and she's just down the road at the tribal school."

Bronx knows who I'm talking about, so he jerks his nub around, but doesn't move from his cuddle.

She lets that sink in for a minute, so I take that time to wipe her face.

"What if, Jake? Just_ think about it_," she whispers.

I'd rather not. "Why'r you thinking like this all of a sudden?"

She bit her bottom lip with her two front teeth. "Cus it's what I thought happened to Doll."

"You thought you lost her?"

Leah nods sadly. "If I lost her, I _really_ couldn't have come back."

"Yes, you could've," I whisper then resume to kissing her nape.

The room seems to get darker and darker with each passing minute of silence. It's barely the afternoon, but maybe that's just La Push's forecast for the day. I continue kissing her, attempting to calm us both down. She's reduced her tears to a few sniffles every now and then.

"Bella wants to give us a baby shower," she randomly announces.

"When?"

"At eighteen weeks."

"Hmph," I huff. "Why eighteen weeks?"

"Cus that's when you can tell the sex, but little does she know we're waiting till we deliver."

"Speaking of, I meant to ask you: When did Carlisle say our due date is?"

She has to think. "March of next year."

Damn, that's a long time. "What'r the chances of him being born on our anniversary?"

The thought makes us both smile.

"What happens at a baby shower anyway?" I ask.

"I've never been to one, but I predict lots of inappropriate, undesired belly rubbing, and diapers, and cake and huge banner that says _'it's a boy!_' or_ 'it's a girl!'_ but Bells knows that's not my style."

"What's _your _ style?"

She shrugs. "Sitting in bed with a big bowl of ice cream, and a Ru Paul's Drag Race marathon."

I laugh, and then kinda frown at the fact at how entertaining that actually sounds.

* * *

16 WEEKS - _YOUR BABY IS THE SIZE OF AN AVOCADO!_

"Jacob, just take the picture," Leah groans, unhappily.

"Well, hold on. I gotta focus it."

"Hurry up cus my back hurts."

"Lay off the twerking then."

She removes a flip flop from her foot, and chucks it towards me, but she misses as I duck out the way.

"Okay, okay," I chuckle and aim the camera so that I have her belly, and the sign she's holding that reads '_16 WEEKS' _ written in bright red marker. I press the button, it flashes, and Leah puts the sign down.

I wait for the image to load back up on the tiny screen. Once it does, I see Leah in her maternity sweats and nursing bra, smirking devilishly into the lens while her bump parades itself.

My eyes must've never left the picture cus she questioned me when she came up beside me to look down at it herself.

"What? Does it look okay?"

"You're glowing."

"Huh?"

"Your skin is _glowing_."

She looks harder at the picture. "I don't see it."

"Of course not. I didn't think that pregnancy glow thing was real, but-"

"That's not a glow. It's just me trying not to puke," she disagrees before throwing her shirt back on.

That's charming. I put the camera in my pocket, and mentally remind myself to print the picture out later. Baby Doll's tiny footsteps create a stomping effect down the hall as she nears our bedroom door. Bronx follows excitedly after.

"When'r we leaving?" she asks impatiently. She's referring to The Cullen's place. She's been wanting to visit Bella for a while now.

"Soon," I answer then point back at Leah. "Just let your mom get some shoes on."

Doll looks passed me at Leah, then scrunches her brows together. I follow her gaze and do a similar expression when I see Leah's wondering glance down at her stomach. She feels around a little.

"What'r you doing?"

She makes a funny face and navigates her hands left, right, up, and down before I put my own hand on her tummy. "Does something hurt?"

"No, If I'm feeling correctly-"

Her tongue sticks out in concentration. I kneel before her to get closer.

"Is the baby coming?" Baby Doll asks ridiculously, making us both laugh.

"This baby won't be here for a while," I correct her.

My wife makes a few more laugh-worthy faces. "She. . ._moved_," she finally says.

"Moved?"

"Like," Leah whispers and feel a little harder. "The little booger just kicked me."

"Can I feel?" Doll has her hand stretched out towards the belly ready to touch.

"Go ahead," she allows and listens now.

The three of us have our hands upon her bump. I feel a couple nudges on both ends of her tummy. This baby was gonna be _huge_! Of course, I don't say that aloud to avoid hurting her feelings, but it felt like she's carrying around a quarterback in there.

"The book said something about the baby being able to hear our voices, and recognizing them at birth," she tells us. "Say something."

I swallow, and squat closer towards her bump.

"Hi, Jacob, Jr.," I begin, but she gives me a look.

"_Or_ Teigan," I add. "I'm Jacob, your daddy. I love you so fucking-"

"_Language,_" Lee warns me.

"Sorry. I love you a lot. Leah, your mother, loves you too. We've been waiting for you to come for a_ really_ long time now. "

Doll comes in now with Bronx at her feet. "I'm Alejandra, your older sister. I'm seven now, but I guess I'll be eight by the time you get here."

The baby nudges against my palm and Leah's. Damn, it's like there's_ two_ in there. It feels cools.

"My nickname is Baby Doll because I still have a cute baby-ish look to me, I guess. But once you get here, I'll just be Doll."

She sounds sad about that. Leah and I never realized that we already refer to her as just Doll now.

"You'll always be _Baby_ Doll," Leah says to comfort her, but the child just shrugs, not believing.

"When are they gonna be here?"

"March of next year," we answer at the same time.

"Why's this take so long anyway?"

Leah smiles, and put her other hand over Baby Doll's tiny one. "They just need time."

"I want a little sister," she flashes us her perfect teeth, along with the few missing ones in the back.

"I thought you said you didn't want a sibling," I remind her.

"I do now. I'm gonna feed her, change her, bathe her-"

"Ya gonna be mommy's little helper?" Leah grins back, and our daughter nods.

Imagine if we are having a daughter. There'd be _three_ of them. That means three times the jet black spiraled hair, long eyelashes, tan skin suppleness, green eyes, beautiful smiles, and vivacious personalities.

I can handle them.

After multiple nudges, I take my hand away to help Leah get her shoes on since she can barely reach over anymore.

This whole pregnancy thing, in terms of the big picture, was a beautiful thing. The details that go into bringing a life in this world was less than pleasant including the random vagina discharges, constipation, backaches, hormones; the list never seems to end. Blood, sweat, and tears doesn't even cover the half of it.

Once the two of them have themselves together, we head off to the Cullen's to see what our friendly neighborhood vamps are up to.

**A/N Hey! Hey! Stop fucking with Korean Jesus! He ain't got time for yo problems! He busy. . .with Korean shit! **


	11. 22 Weeks

18 WEEKS - _YOUR BABY IS THE SIZE OF A POTATO!_

I'll bet the funky gel Carlisle spread upon Leah's eighteen weeks' worth of belly is chilling against her skin. She had goosebumps, but I couldn't tell if it was from baby shower nerves or if she was cold.

Carlisle moves the wand about on her tummy, making her laugh a bit. It must tickle.

"That's quite a heartbeat your baby's got going," he notes as he searches the static screen for the body. He or she pops up on the monitor, and the three of us just stare at him or her. Carlisle's making extra sure he doesn't let the gender slip.

"Wow," Lee says in amazement. "That's a big baby."

"The correct word is healthy," Carlisle tells us as he guides the wand about, and pointing at what's going on in the monitor. "The bigger, the healthier."

"Here's the head, legs, feet," he shows us. Then cocks his head and remarks, "That_ is_ a big baby."

I agree. That baby is gonna tear Leah apart, and he's not even close to finished. "So, as of right now, our baby is healthy, right?" I ask now, my eyes never leaving the screen.

"Very much so," he assures before taking a cloth and wiping Leah's belly down from the goo. "Now that you've hit eighteen weeks, and since she's getting bigger each day, I highly suggest sleeping on your side now. It'll be easier on your back."

I help Leah off of the table before she turns back to face him, and pulls her shirt back down. "Anything else, doc?" she asks.

"Just keep doing what you're doing," Carlisle replies. "Eat healthy, drink water, take your prenatal vitamin, and all that good junk."

She sighs in relief. "_Great_."

"Now we can get downstairs, huh? You've got party waiting for you." He sounds highly cheery about that.

Her eyes roll now, but she's still grinning. "Let's get this over with, then."

Leah could hide her excitement all she wanted, but I see the resistant smile she tried to hide when she sees all the decorations and gifts from Cullens and the select few of our pack members that decided to show up.

As soon as she and Bella—who used to be my vampire best friend—see each other, Leah rushes from her spot on the couch beside Baby Doll to give her a hug. It's not like a "we-see-each-other-every-day" kinda hug, but it's more of an intense embrace. Bella's careful with her belly as the two make contact. Their smiles don't disappear, and their grips don't let up so I'm left staring at them, awaiting a hug of my own. Seeing as though I'm gonna get a proper greeting, I take Bella's spot in the plush love seat next to Baby Doll. The other Cullens find it odd as well as the other awaiting shower guests.

"Is Mommy gay?" Doll whispers to avoid being heard.

She must find this odd, too.

"How do you even know what that means?" I hide a chuckle.

"I just do. Is she?"

"No," I answer. "She and Aunt Bella are just really close."

Edward eyes me from the farthest corner the room. His brows wiggle at out wives' interaction. They finally pull apart to greet everyone else and get their little shindig started.

"You know they're hiding something from us, right?" Edward has suddenly swooshed in behind me. I turn to face him with an unexpected smile.

"You're the mind reader," I say. "So, what's on the up and up?"

Doll recognizes his voice, and swirls around to face him now. "Hi, Edward."

"Baby Doll," he nods with a sincere smile. "How are you?"

"Good. Do you think my mom is a lesbian?"

He laughs at the question. "Um, no. Do you?"

She hunches her shoulders. "Possibly."

I laugh now. "Go play with Alice," I tell her, and point towards the pixie woman on the other side of the family room. She's leaning on Nessie's shoulder around the table of gifts, laughing and conversing with the other ladies.

"M'kay," she mumbles, hops off the sofa, and skips towards her.

Once Baby Doll's out of earshot, I turn to Edward and his ice cold smirk makes me cringe.

"Did you hear something suspicious?" I question, but he shakes his head.

"That's just it actually. The only time I can read Bella's mind is when she lets me, so she's blank. And Leah…" He sighs and follows my gaze over to the table. "It's like she's purposely hiding her thoughts from me."

"How?"

"It's hard to explain. It's like they don't want us to know something."

I watch Bella's pink lips brush casually against Leah's ear as she whispers something. As she says each word, her pale hand creeps from Leah's back down to her hips. Leah actually allows it.

My brow lifts upward in curiosity.

Leah whispers something back before removing a stray lock of hair from Bella's face by placing it behind her ear. It's a subtle gesture, but the way Leah's fingers loop and caress her hair and skin makes the action seem sensual.

I'm taken back by it.

"I am too," Edward agrees. "What do you suspect they're up to?"

They're the sneakiest women I know, so they could be up to just about anything.

A few pack members greet Leah now, and she's all smiles as her fingers loop around and between Bella's. Leah gives Quil, Embry, and Jared halfway hugs with her unoccupied arm as they congratulate her. Bella puts her head on Leah's shoulder, which rings a whole lot of bells—no pun intended.  
I conjure up an image of the two of them kissing passionately to project into his train of thought. Edward's reaction is delayed, but he eventually smirks.

"I doubt it," he responds.

"Why?"

His tone is joking. "Although Bella has the nerve, I don't think they're each other's type."

"What's Bella's type?"

"Male."

I laugh. "Sure, sure."

The tension between Seth, Nessie, Leah, and I has decided to take a holiday. Seth ignored me all together while Nessie couldn't take her eyes off the two of us. Leah hasn't paid her any mind, but the shy staring keeps catching my eye.

Edward glances my way a few times before exiting the house to be outside with the rest of the guys. I wanna follow (and rid myself of this boredom) but I'm held back for a moment.

"You're not even gonna gimme a hug?" Bella's familiar voice stops me before I can take a step away.

I turn, and give her my best bewildered expression. She laughs, flashing her flawless white smile.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," I respond, wrapping my arms around her petite waist. She returns the hug and squeezes.

"I forgot to congratulate you on the baby and all," she tells me, letting me go.

"Thanks."

Her Hershey-kisses-turned-Honey-Bunches-of-Oats irises stay connected with mine for a few moments till she crosses her arms over her chest. She droops her head now.

"What?" I lift her chin with two fingers.

Her voice plays over softly in my ears. "I just don't believe this."

"What?"

She gestures her arms towards the precious baby shower decor and gifts around the living room. "_This. _The fact that the kid I used to make mud pies with all those years ago is married, with a kid, and another on the way is _mind-boggling_. I mean, you used to run from me 'cause I had cooties, and now you're all grown and _having babies_—" She rushes each word out with heavy eagerness. I put my hands over her shoulders to stop her.

"I'm still Jacob."

She bites her bottom lip. "You're different, though."

"How so?"

"I don't know. You just are. Never imagined you'd have a family of your own one day. Well,_ I did _but—" She stops and shakes her head, grinning.

"Just not with Leah," I finish for her, and she nods subtly.

"It's still a shock to me, too," I admit honestly. One year, I'm cursing her name to hell, and the next I'm madly in love with her. Oh, how times have changed.

"What's up with you and my wife, anyway?" I lean upon the arm of a couch. "Since when are you guys besties?" I question and await her answer.

Judging by the immense yet coy grin on her face, I can tell she'd be blushing if she could. "We just get each other."

"On a maternal level?" I recite Leah's words.

"You wouldn't get it."

I don't bite my tongue on this next one. "You guys been fucking?"

Her eyes widen in shock at the silly assumption. "_Jacob_," she insists through grit teeth.

"What? Have you?" She should know I'm just teasing.

"_No_," she answers and playfully hits my shoulder. "We're just _friends_."

I guess I'm taunting her a bit. I know Bella, and she doesn't have the nerve. "Yeah, I'm just teasing. Edward and I are just a bit confused about you guys."

"Don't be," she assures me. "It's a lot less difficult if you think less of it."

I take her word for it. "Whatever you say, Bella."

The rest of my time here is spent playing kickball with the Cullen boys and Doll. Of course, they win, but I drown my defeat in baby shower cake. A small smile makes its way onto my face as well when Alice pulls out the maternity t-shirts she bought us.

Leah's t-shirt reads _I grow people. What's your superpower?_ while mine has _The Man Behind The Bump_ in broad black letters. It made me chuckle a bit.

Alice had one made for Doll especially that read _Big Sister_ in sparkly, pink cursive across the chest. Sparkles aren't really her forte, but knowing her, she'll wear it regardless.

Pregnant women can only take so much in one day, so Leah's request for departure follows soon after opening gifts. I was reluctant to leave, but Wifey gets what Wifey wants.

* * *

22 WEEKS - _YOUR BABY IS THE SIZE OF A PAPAYA!_

The soft pitter-patter of the rain hitting the window and roof acts as a lullaby tonight. The occasional thunder and lightning strike scares Bronx into Doll's room a few hours back. I'll bet he eventually got to sleep, but even with the soft rhythm the weather makes, we've decided to stay up.

"I can't believe how big I've gotten," she says, toying with her ring while my hand continues circling her stomach. "I've gained a good twenty-seven pounds, according to Carlisle."

"I haven't noticed," I lie.

"Yeah, right."

I sigh into her neck. "I don't care how big you get. 'The bigger, the better' is what I always say."

"That only applies to my ass."

"Which has gotten _a lot _bigger, by the way."

"Ugh," she groans and covers her face. "That's all_ sag._ I didn't get this fat with Doll."

I shrug. She shouldn't be sweating her weight like this. She's _pregnant,_ so this is perfectly normal. "Maybe we're having twins," I joke, but she doesn't laugh with me. Carlisle certainly would've caught onto that by now.

"I don't care if you gain six thousand and fifty pounds. You'll still be sexy, and vivacious, and beautiful." I kiss her neck and she purrs. "Why're you stressing your weight like this?"

"'Cause I'm a very hormonal woman, and my fat rolls are beginning to get on my nerves."

"What fat rolls?"

"_These,_" she gestures towards her back. I don't bother taking a look, so I continue pecking her neck and face. Lightning flashes outside following a booming thunderous crash.

"I wish you wouldn't even worry about gaining weight."

"Easy for _you_ to say when you don't have to carry around a hormone-inducing creature inside of you for nine months, making your boobs and vagina leak, and your back and feet ache, and your skin supposedly glow, and _why shouldn't I,_ anyway?

I have to think of a valid reason. "Just remember that there's tons of other woman out there who'd_ love_ to be in your position right now."

"Fat?"

_"Pregnant_," I correct her.

"I use to be one of those women," she reminds me.

"Emily's one of those women."

She swirls her index finger in a circle. "What goes around, comes around."

"What do you think Sam's problem is now?"

She hunches her shoulders. "Probably has a ten-foot pole up his ass like usual."

It honestly isn't fair to Em. I couldn't help how unhappy and unhealthy she looked at the baby shower a while back. I assumed it was because Sam decided not to attend, but the hurt was clear in her eyes. She stared at Leah's belly with envy and anger with a dainty look of regret. It was regret as if to say, "_Why did I marry this man?" _I never thought I'd live in such a world where Leah Clearwater would be having her _second_ kid while Emily's still awaiting for Sam's approval to get pregnant. If I were her, I'd manipulate that bastard, or at least just to show what he's missing out on. Not like Sam enjoyed the satisfaction of having children, anyway.

"Do you think if it weren't for Rosalie, I wouldn't have been able to get pregnant again?"

Her question catches me off guard. The sound of that bitch's name makes my skin crawl. "What do you mean?" I hold her tighter, and the mattress squeaks just as more lightning strikes.

"Carlisle said if it weren't for what she did, my body wouldn't have gone back to its normal ways."

"Carlisle did_ not_ say that."

"He might as well have."

"He said this happened during your recovery."

"I wouldn't have to recovery in the first place if she hadn't gone Jason Voorhees on my ass with—"

"Shut up, Leah," I snarl and unravel my arms from around her waist. She does as told then lightly pats my arm, but I ignore it. My attention is now being paid toward the ceiling.

"Jake, I'm _sorry_," she begins and kisses my cheek now. "I know how sensitive the subject is for you, but we gotta talk about it sometime. We can't just act like it _never_happened."

"It's irrelevant."

"Like hell it is," she sighs and run her index finger over my jaw.

"Why can't you let _me_ forget about it, then?"

"'Cause I don't want you to keep blaming yourself. It would've happened regardless."

I don't stay anything.

She takes that silence as a reason to continue. "I've just been keeping _this _in for way too long."

"What?"

Leah's a bit hesitant with her answer. "In a way, I feel sorry for that bitch."

"Because?"

"She wants what she can't have, and I'll bet it eats her up day after day. I couldn't give two shits about her, but it's kinda sad that she went to such lengths to get what she could never have." She reads my face for a reaction.

She made sense… sorta. I wouldn't say I feel sorry for the Ice Princess, but there's still a bit of confusion as to why the hell she went after Leah, of all people. Yeah, there's the main reasons like she was gorgeous, has the perfect family, and loving friends, but there was something deeper there. Rosalie has all that and then some. What did Leah have that Rosalie couldn't? Children, maybe?

"Mommy." My daughter's voice projects across the room. "Daddy."

I lift my head from off the pillow to see her in the doorway, clutching a plush toy in her tiny hands while Bronx lays upon her feet, cocking his ears nervously back and forth.

"Doll, what're you doing up? It's almost midnight," I say after checking the digital clock on my nightstand.

Her eyes glance towards the window. "It's the thunder."

"It's just God moving furniture," Leah reassures her. That's an infamous Sue Clearwater line.

"He's so _loud._"

After a moment of deliberation, I scoot over opposite of Leah and pat the empty space. Doll takes a moment to dive into bed between us, and Bronx follows. Leah puts the comforter over all four of us before kissing her forehead and Bronx's.

I lean over for a goodnight kiss, too, but instead receive two raised eyebrows and a smelly dog's tongue lapping on my lips.

**A/N HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY TO MY WIFE KRISTEN JAYMES STEWART THO. **


	12. 27 Weeks

**A/N Walk up in the club like 'waddup, I gotta big cock.' **

27 WEEKS - _YOUR BABY IS THE SIZE OF A RUTABAGA!_

I wish I were pregnant. It sounds weird coming from the male standpoint, but I'd love to have a valid reason to bitch, complain, moan, and groan about stupid shit and get off without retaliation.

But sadly, I am _not _ pregnant and neither is Sue, so there should be no reason as to why she's bitching at me about how I cook _my_ Thanksgiving feast. Because she's in her daughter's house, I feel as if she assumes she can just begin bossing me and everyone else involved around. Thanksgiving is in our house this year to make it easier on Leah. My sisters and I are on kitchen cleaning duty afterwards while Leah sits back and relaxes for the rest of the night. But right now I wish Sue was waiting for dinner in the family room on the couch because I'd prefer to be doing all the cooking by myself than having her breathe down my neck like a goddamn dragon. I've side-eyed her several times now, and she's not even complaining about important shit. One minute the mashed potatoes aren't mashed enough, and then the next, the turkey isn't browning properly.

"Mom, are you being nice?" Leah calls from the other room.

Before she can respond, I do. "She's getting on my nerves!"

"Well maybe if you weren't such an idiot -"

"How am I an idiot?"

"'Cause, Jacob, you just are." It comes out as a slur, so I assume she's buzzed.

"Sue, you're testing me."

"Can you guys just please stop for a minute? You two have been at it all day," Rachel intervenes while passing through the kitchen. The sound of her opening the fridge excites Bronx, so he rushes into the room.

"Well, if Sue weren't being controlling and bossy," I begin under my breath, but she hears me, anyway.

"You should be used to the controlling and bossy by now since you married Leah," Sue adds and then turns the oven off to let the turkey cool once the timer goes off.

"Yeah, but Leah isn't a psycho," I respond, getting the wine from out of the fridge.

"Oh, so I'm psycho now?"

"Sue, you called me an idiot for basting a turkey."

Paul sticks his head into the kitchen. "Is the food ready yet?" But Sue and I snap at him. He eases out with his hands up in defense just as Doll enters.

"Mommy wants to know when the food will be ready," she says to me, looking over the selection of food in which I mostly prepared and at some point Sue bitched about.

"Tell her we're gonna begin setting the table now. We're almost done," I answer. She skips out the kitchen. I turn my head to face the oven, but am instead met with Sue's lips wrapped tightly around the bottle neck of the wine I just took out. I've had enough with her today, so I just let her be and try not to let her get to me. Dealing with one Clearwater is enough and taking on two is a death wish.

Fifteen minutes later, the table is set, and the corny holiday festivity is kicked into high gear when Christmas music is being played over the radio in the family room.

It's safe to predict that with a seven year old, three-and-a-half werewolves, a pregnant chick, and Charlie, there'll be no such thing as leftovers this Thanksgiving. Instead of just Leah, Doll, Bronx, and I having a nice, quiet Thanksgiving dinner consisting of kibble and pizza, Leah got the bright idea to invite her mom, who invited Seth, obviously knowing he'd invite Nessie. Charlie came as Sue's date as Paul is Rachel's, while Rebecca is forever alone. And because he's the man who gave me life, Billy is here, too.

We're all one big, happy, fucking family.

Stomach on the point of digesting itself, I urge everyone to bow their heads so we can pray. Baby Doll leads off the prayer as usual and finishes quickly, thank goodness. It doesn't stay quiet for long obviously. Nothing about a Quiluete tribe is ever quiet.

"So, when are you due?" Paul asks Leah ten minutes in.

"March," she answers and chews. "When are you and Rach gonna start having some of your own?"

Paul shrugs, but Rachel blushes. "When the time comes," she answers. A niece or nephew would be fine, but Lord help that child with Paul as his dad.

"Am I gonna be having a grandson or another granddaughter?" Billy asks next.

"We're waiting 'til March to find out," I answer and sip my wine.

"Why?" Sue joins the conversation, even though she's kinda tipsy.

"We wanna be surprised."

"Seth was a surprise," she tells us, and the sound of his name brings his attention from Nessie. It's a miracle because God forbid if he contribute to the conversation instead of eat in silence while his girlfriend makes awkward eye contact with everyone at the table.

She looks nice tonight. Lately, she's been way out of her norm by wearing baggier clothes. Come to think of it, she's been dressing this way since our little incident. But instead of wearing her sweatpants and hair up, she's actually wearing a dress, makeup, and barely a smile. It's sad, and I wouldn't like to think Seth had something to do with that.

It's a tradition in the Black family at Thanksgiving that once dessert is served, we go around the table, and say what we're thankful for. It's a tradition that has been done before Ephraim. I find it cheesy, but my father insists.

I'm not necessarily attentive to what Billy, Charlie, my sisters, Sue, or Paul are thankful for but this is Doll and Leah's first Thanksgiving as official members of the Black family, so I listen.

"I'm thankful and grateful for my loving and accepting family," Leah says shyly, then pinches my thigh under the table. "And my husband."

"Aw," Rachel and Becca coo at once, turning us both red. I try to distract myself from blushing by staring at Bronx under the table.

"Oh, stop," I mumble and she continues.

"And I'm grateful that I can bring another child into this world and know that she -"

I poke her thigh.

"- Or he will be welcomed into such an amazing family," she finishes. I rub her thigh soothingly now.

"Aren't you two adorable?" Sue slurs without hope of returning back to being sober. "Seth, they're fucking adorable, right? What're you thankful for, you little sperm cell, you?" She pokes his cheek unkindly before letting out a burp and giggle. Doll smiles under her hand after covering her mouth.

Seth clears his throat awkwardly, and then side-glances Nessie who's actually looking at her plate, munching on her dessert.

"Ugh, well," he begins, refusing to look mine and Leah's way at our end of the table.

"I'm thankful for my family, uh," he mumbles. "My friends, my pack, my _Alpha_."

Seth shoots Leah a toothy grin, and she winks back at him. Bronx's tags jingle down the hall.

"I'm thankful for my mom for giving birth to me twenty-two years ago." His voice gets a bit cheerier with each word. "I'm grateful for Nessie 'cause she's pretty amazing."

Rach and Becca smile simultaneously just as Billy, Paul, and Charlie do. Sue's struggling to keep her head up, but she's grinning from ear to ear regardless. Leah wraps her hands around my bicep and places her head upon my arm. Nessie looks up from her plate and bats her lashes shyly.

"How sweet," Paul teases tauntingly. "Our little Sethy-kins is in_ love_."

I wanna chuck my knife at him. Seth just rolls his eyes.

"What about you, Nessie?" Leah finally asks.

It shocks almost everyone at the table - except Doll, because she's oblivious to just about everything that went down with the four of us. In her mind, everything's jolly and merry.

Nessie's eyes widen at the sound of Leah addressing her. I'm not sure of what that means, but this is quite a role she's playing.

"I'm thankful for my family. I'm really thankful for all the love and acceptance that I've been receiving, and I'm especially thankful for such a nice boyfriend."

Seth doesn't look up from his lap, but he still smiles.

"How cute." Leah's hard tone comes off as sarcastic, so to revert the room's attention, she nudges Doll.

Leah picks her fork back up to continue her dessert. "What're you thankful for, baby?"

The child plays with the ends of her incredibly long, wavy hair as she contorts her face to make it look like she's thinking.

"Uh," she says and stares at her empty plate. "Well, I'm grateful for having a good family that loves and cares about me, and uh. . ."

She reaches over and lightly pokes Leah's stomach. "And for my little sister or brother."

_Me, too._

"Aw," Rachel begins, but I stop her.

"Must you say 'aw' to everything someone is thankful for?" I ask.

"It's sweet!"

"So is chocolate cake but you don't hear me aw-ing at it," I respond, making Leah chuckle.

"Shut up, Jacob," Rachel snarls.

"_You_ shut up."

"Come over here and -"

Sue lets out a huge belch, interrupting Rachel. "Why don't you _both_ shut up?" She sighs one last time before settling her hand on the table, passed out. Leah and Doll laugh at her. Charlie's mustache wiggles under his lips as she frowns at his fiancee.

"I'm gonna take her home, I guess," Charlie announces, annoyed, as he gets up from his seat with her on his arm.

And I thought I had a drinking problem.

"Seth, you guys leaving with us?" Charlie asks, gesturing Paul to help him handle Sue.

He instinctively turns to Nessie. "You wanna leave now?"

I expect Leah to input a smart comment, but instead she leans to the side over Baby Doll to pat Ness' shoulder. The intense fear and utter confusion is written plainly on the teenager's face. I prep for a fight but relax when she says, "You two can stay as long as you'd like."

Everyone exchanges a look.

_Who is this woman, and what has she done with the real Leah?_

Leah being any kinda polite is a shock, but she's being nice to Nessie, of all people, who's sitting here, frozen with fear. Pregnancy hormones, maybe?

She barely gets the words out without choking on her own air. "Um, thanks, but we were just gonna go home."

Leah removes her hand. "Okay then," she responds sweetly.

Charlie manages to get Sue on her two feet. "So, um, should we get going?"

Seth, red in not just the cheeks but his whole face, gets Ness' hand in his and pops up out his seat. I bet he would've made it out the living room if Doll hadn't called him back.

"No hug for your favorite munchkin?" She stretches her arms outward for him to embrace her. His uncomfortable facial expression turns back to happy when he nods and leans forward to give his niece a hug.

"I'll see you soon," he tells her after kissing her head. "Later, sis. I'll see you, too." Leah nods, probably too tired to get up. I don't expect a goodbye, so it's quite a shock when Seth looks me in my eyes for the first time in months. The sound of Charlie opening our front door summons Bronx from the family room.

"Jacob," he mumbles.

"Seth."

He turns to the twins and Paul who've already begun clearing the table. "I'll see you guys later, too." He waves goodbye to them and then rounds the corner to see my dad, who's most likely rolled himself into the living room because he hears the football game going. Nessie takes a single look behind her to shyly wave goodbye to Doll before the awkward couple rush out the front door after Charlie and Sue.

The screen door closes with a gentle tap, and the clicking sound of the lock latching in the socket echoes through the empty hall. Bronx's tiny black nail scratch against the plastic before he gives up and trots back to the family room.

_Well._

"That was fun," Doll concludes and dips her finger in whatever ice cream is left in her bowl. I nod in agreement and lower my lips to Leah's ear.

"Since when're you this nice to Nessie?" I wonder. Her hand rotates slowly around our bump.

She stifles a sarcastic answer and a laugh, yet she still cringes at the name. "Since she told me the truth."

I'm not sure which truth she means, but as long as my wife is being moderately friendly towards my imprint and not ripping her head off, I could live with that answer.

The remainder of our Thanksgiving is spent watching the football game with my dad, while Rach and Becca bitch and complain about how this and that plate should be scrubbed. At first they're agitating me, but when Leah yawns and complains about being a "fat and sleepy sack of hormones and baby milk," I take that as a cue and a getaway to go upstairs. I say goodnight to my dad, sisters, Doll, and Paul before following my "fat" and "sleepy sack of hormones and baby milk" upstairs to go to bed. These hormones must've been taking their toll on me because I kinda feeling how she does now.

* * *

32 WEEKS - _YOUR BABY IS THE SIZE OF A SQUASH!_

Doll's cries of defeat ring out from the backyard just as a puff of white snow explodes over the back of her jacket. She covers her face as Carson tosses yet another snowball her way. That one explodes as well but instead of screaming, she runs in the opposite direction. Carson catches up, and nails her again before she surrenders, laughing with snowflakes landing on her face. Bronx flashes by as a black and brown blur as he runs about the yard, prepared to get in on their game too.

"The most they can do is kiss, Jacob," Leah interrupts my concentration from watching the two children in the snow through the back screen door. She comes up behind me and watches over my shoulder with torn cardboard boxes and tissue paper in hand, ready to be thrown away.

The two of them have plopped onto the ground on their backs to make snow angels. Bronx climbs over Carson to sit in the middle of the two.

"Kissing leads to touching. Touching leads to Carson feeling a way he shouldn't, which leads to me kicking his ass," I explain my dad's logic to her, but she scoffs her way to the kitchen.

"First of all, they're only eight and -"

"He's nine," I correct her.

"Still doesn't mean they'll do anything."

"You don't know that."

They get up from the ground to see their work and high five each other.

Leah returns back to the family room to pick up more trash. "They don't even know what sex is."

"They better not."

"Yeah, because letting Doll watch porn takes care of that," she reminds me of my rookie father mistake and leaves the room with more trash. I groan and finally turn away from the backyard. She has a point.

Instead of watching the two of them, I decide to stare at the Christmas tree. Damn, it's only our second Christmas together, but it feels like there have been more.

_Yet another spoiled Christmas for Baby Doll_, I think to myself as the mess of her gifts lay scattered across the wood floor surrounding our Christmas tree.

Holy fuck, it's _December._ New Year's is next week which means it'll be January, and my birthday is quickly approaching. How the fuck am I already twenty-seven? Not before long, it'll be February and then Leah will be twenty-seven. Then it'll be March, which means the arrival of our little bun in the oven. Then our anniversary!

Shit, it's almost been a year since I married Leah Clearwater. _Fuck that,_ it's still a shock I'm married in the first place, let alone to Leah. That'll be a thought that will take a lifetime to get used to. It felt like just yesterday she was a Bridezilla splitting CD's in half, cussing out seamstresses, and throwing wedding cake samples at nicely painted bakery walls.

I can't even call her a Momster because pregnant Leah has been surprisingly pleasant despite the mood swings, complaining, and random vaginal discharge. Come to realize, pregnant Leah and non-pregnant Leah are kinda the same.

I laugh at myself 'cause I'm so damn funny.

By the time March rolls around, she'll be worse than ever. I've read the baby books, and I've prepared myself for ten times the mood swings, complaining, cussing, irritation, and urges to punch my face in. At this point, nothing scares me about pregnancy; I've seen it all.

The outburst of laughter erupts from the backyard, grabbing my attention again.

"Lee!" I call and hear a few plates being clanked around in the sink.

"Yes?"

I bite my tongue. "It doesn't creep you out in the slightest that Nahuel's baby brother is best friends with our daughter?"

The rushing water in the faucet stops abruptly. "Why should it?"

I shrug and get up from the couch to go into the kitchen. "It's just a thought."

When I enter the kitchen, she's wiping down a cup with a dish cloth. I start the faucet again, and continue washing the dishes from breakfast. She opens the cabinets above the sink to put the cup in its respectable place.

"Well, he's not a danger to us," she explains.

"Yeah, but he is to someone close to us."

"Seth can deal with his own problems. That doesn't have anything to do with Carson and Doll," she justifies while wiping down a pan set on the counter. I'm actually thinking about Nessie, but Seth will suffice.

"Does it creep you out?" Leah asks.

"I don't know. I was just thinking out loud."

She nods and wipes the counter of any water. "It's understandable. Anything else ya been thinking about?"

I hesitate. "Besides having an eight-year-old-wolf magic wonder, turning twenty-seven next month, and having another kid in less than four months? Nothing much."

She laughs at my tone then begins wiping down another dish. She may find it funny, but I'm not laughing. I feel old. Soon, I'll be in my mid-sixties: dry, wrinkly, and forgotten about like a raisin while Leah stays nineteen-looking 'cause she can actually phase. As long as the Cullens stay around as my Fountain of Youth, I don't have to worry. Regardless, getting older is a scary, yet immutable thing. I'd kill to be Doll's age again.

This must be how Peter Pan feels.

**A/N I'm gonna pop some tags only got 20$ in muh pocket. **


	13. 41 Weeks

**A/N Don't tell me we're about to go into Chapter 13 and I only have 60 something reviews. FIX IT. **

37 WEEKS - _YOUR BABY IS THE SIZE OF A WINTER MELON!_

Jacob Axel, Jr. or Teigan Tatum Black is now at full term, so now all that's left to do is wait. Leah's due at the forty week mark, but waiting for it to come is the irritating part. We've been "nesting" (also know as cleaning and prepping for the baby) for what feels like weeks house is squeaky clean and baby-proofed to a tee. We've had hospital bags packed for weeks now, and even Carlisle is anxious to deliver our kid.

Billy, Carlisle, and Sue highly suggest we get as much sex in as possible because we won't be able to for up to six weeks due to any tearing, hormones, or emotional distress. We've had sex about three times in the weeks after Christmas, and that was just in February. It's March now. March eleventh, to be exact. Her face practically screams, "Is this really how we're spending our one year anniversary?" Little does she know. You think she'd know by now that I always have a little something up my sleeve.

"The name Teigan translates to 'beautiful' or 'beautiful thing,'" Leah reads aloud from a unique baby names book that she received from the baby shower. Her belly is a mountain now, and I can barely see her face, but I keep the comparison to myself as I rub her feet.

"Origin?" I ask.

She flips a few pages. "Welsh."

"How does the book spell it?"

"T-e-g-a-n, T-e-_i_-g-a-n, and T-e-_a_-g-_h_-a-n," she reads off; I imagine her raising her brow. We had a heated discussion a while back about how her name should be spelled. She prefers the T-e-g-a-n spelling while I like the 'i' in the middle.

Suddenly, she slams the book shut and growls. "Is this really how we're spending our anniversary?"

I raise my brow and sit upward. "Have something different in mind?"

She rolls her eyes. "A little."

"Where'd you wanna go?"

"My feet and back are killing me, I'm leaking from about every hole in my body, and I feel like I'm about to pop. The last thing I wanna do is leave this house."

_Perfect_. "I got you something."

"As did I."

I nod my head towards the bedroom door, stand, and place my hand out. "Come see."

She squints her eyes at me. "Jacob?"

"You'll like it."

She shrugs and takes my hand so I can help lift her off the bed. Hand in hand, we travel down the stairs in giddy silence.

"It's downstairs?" she wonders.

"It's pretty intricate."

"What is it?"

"You'll see."

I place my palms above her eyes, which shocks her. "I can't see shit actually," she says.

My footsteps are carefully planned as I lead her towards the hallway. She holds onto my hands for support. The traditional first year of marriage starts with paper gifts, which is a a material that's kinda hard to go on. This is pretty creative.

"Jacob," she begins, but I uncover her eyes before she can say anything else. Her gasp makes it worth while.

The idea of blowing up our marriage certificate to a life-sized framed portrait came from Bella because that's what Edward did for their first anniversary. I liked the idea so much I stole it. But framing a canvas that I had our vows were painted onto to be hung in our bedroom was something I thought of all my own.

Our signatures are nice and big within the frame of the certificate. It looks like an antique as it hangs here in our hallway.

"When things get rough and we ever have doubts," I begin as I make my way to the basement door. "_These_ will be a constant reminder that we're perfect for each other."

She can barely get a single word out as the happy tears stream and trinkle down her face. Her eyes don't tear away from the framed certificate even though she's struggle to keep them open. I dash down the stairs to the retrieve the canvases and shut the door behind me once I do.

"Th-th-th-th_-these_?" she repeats, stuttering and getting tongue-tied.

"I had Alice do these for me," I explain as I show her. The background is black while the lettering is in a dark champagne color. She nearly loses all sanity when she lays her eyes upon the second part of her gift.

"Are th-th-th-those our v-v-v-vows?" she stammers, covering her mouth to avoid spitting on me.

I nod. "I thought we could put them up in our bedroom and -"

Her salty lips meet mine before the rest of the sentence can leave my mouth. With my lips occupied, I carefully set the paintings to the side so I could get her in a hug. My muscly arms wrap around her in a safe embrace with my hands held steady against her hips.

"I take it you like your gift?"

"It shits on what I got you," she mumbles into my chin and kisses me repeatedly. She stops to catch her lost breath after a minute. "I love them. I totally love them." She sniffles. _"I love you_."

I always like making her happy. "Happy anniversary."

Her crying ceases to be detained. "Happy anniversary to you too, you fucking dick."

* * *

41 WEEKS- _YOUR BABY IS THE SIZE OF A JACK FRUIT!_

It's officially April third, we're a few days passed our due date, and our baby is resistant to leaving the oven. It's perfectly normal and totally understandable that Leah's annoyed with being pregnant. Yeah, it's a beautiful thing having a connection and sharing a body with the child, but at this point, it's just not cute anymore. Even Carlisle's getting impatient, and it sucks that Alice can't see when the baby's coming.

But since we know Leah's on the verge of going into labor, we prep and assure that our labor and deliver checklist is immaculate. We try techniques to enduce labor, but, of course, they don't work because Leah is still wobbling around here like a duck with her belly so big, ready to explode.

_"What if I'm pregnant forever?" _She's been whining constantly. I'd rub her back and caress our bump assuring that Carlisle wouldn't let that happen.

It's taking its toll on Doll, as well. She's unusually impatient with awaiting her sibling's arrival. She spent her spring break at home instead of with her friends so she wouldn't miss a thing in case Lee went into labor.

We want the baby here now, but we still savor the peace and quiet of La Push before he or she does get here. Speaking of La Push, our part of the res is anxious and eager to have another member of the Black family scurrying around here. Just another person for the pack to spoil.

The sofa squeaks under our weight as Leah sits Indian style before me. Her pout couldn't be any cuter.

"What do you think the little sucker is doing in there?" she asks me, rubbing along the width of her stomach. I caress as well, feeling one nudge on the left and another on the right. He must be playing soccer in there.

"Figuring out how to greet us when he comes out," I answer. I lift the shirt Alice got her up to her rib tattoo and then lean over to place my forehead on the bump.

"Can you hear me, little one? I'm Daddy," I say in my best childish voice. Leah's nails scratch through my scalp gingerly.

I kiss the bump. There's another nudge.

"Are you a little girl or boy?" I ask rhetorically. "Nudge once if you're a boy, nudge twice if you're a girl."

I don't feel anything for a moment but get excited when there's multiple kicks.

"Damn," Leah moans. "She's begging to get out."

"He'll be out in no time, I promise." I lean back up and tap her stomach.

"I hope you're right," she sighs. "Bet you ten bucks we're having a girl."

I have a feeling she's right, but I won't give her the satisfaction, so I raise the stakes. "I'll bet you fifteen that there's a boy in there."

"You're on, man behind the bump," she reads off my shirt. Then puts her hand out for me to shake. I kiss her knuckles instead.

"You're such a charmer," she smirks, rolling her eyes.

"Hence the bump."

"I love our bump."

I do, too. "I'm a good dad, right?"

She nods. "What makes you ask?"

"Just wondering," I lie.

"Nervous?" she assumes.

"What is there to be nervous about?"

"It's not gonna be like with Baby Doll where all the easy stuff is over with," she warns me.

"Obviously," I mutter and roll my eyes.

"I just want to tell you this in advance, before the baby gets here. These hormones and emotions are gonna be making me say and do crazy things. It's nothing personal, alright? I'll just be tired and cranky, but I promise to try keeping it under wraps, okay?"

I caress her hand which then travels up her arm and shoulder to cup her jaw. Her skin is still glowing.

"I know," I reply. "I read the books. We've been through this. We'll be taking turns with diapers, the night shift, feeding. All that good junk."

"You promise you won't begin to hate me?"

That's ridiculous. "Woman, please."

She struggles to bring our faces together for a kiss with our mountain in the way. I meet her three-fourths of the way to make it easier on her. We share a peck or two before pulling back to just stare at each other.

"What do you think he'll look like?" I wonder aloud after taking in her unusual features.

"Dark skin, brown eyes, piggish nose" - she nips mine - "and dark hair."

Sounds about right. "He's gonna be so handsome."

"She'll be beautiful."

"Oh, c'mon, Lee. What's so bad about having a son?"

She puts her hands up in defense. "Nothing. I'm just one hundred and ten thousand times sure that we're having another daughter."

"Well after this one, can we have a son?"

Her eyes pop wildly at my words. "You wanna go through this again?"

"I want the Huxtables."

She rolls her light eyes. "Ugh, fine. Let's make a pact. We wait at least five years in between before we have another one."

With that in mind, by the time I reach my five kid quota, I'd be pushing fifty something. Eh, that's not too ancient. "Fine," I agree reluctantly. "You promise to stay attracted to me?"

"Just as long as my post-baby body doesn't freak you out."

"I doubt it."

"I won't be the hourglass I used to be." She motions the shape with her hands. "I'll have a bit more meat than before."

I give her an uncaring look. She was thick before, so who cares if she's a bit thicker afterwards?

"More of you to love. More to grip on," I growl sensually, grabbing her thigh. She lets her hair fall over her face coyly.

"So if I was, like, two-hundred something pounds -" she begins, but I interrupt with a hip thrusting motion.

"I'd still tear it up," I grunt with grit teeth, making her laugh aloud.

"You're an idiot."

"Are you implying you wouldn't wanna bone me if _I_ was two-hundred something?"

She gives me a look. "You're like six-seven. I'm pretty sure you're already two-hundred something pounds."

"Okay, what if I was a fat-ass motherfucker who had a beer belly, and balding, and corns on my toes -"

Her hearty laugh explodes through the lower level of the house. I imagine it myself, and it is kinda hilarious.

She barely gets her words out between laughter. "Okay, okay." Her face is scrunching cutely with her upright nose making her eyes and laugh lines wrinkle. "Yeah, I'd probably still fuck you, okay? But we can't fuck if we're both fat as shit."

"Why?"

"I think we'd just end up getting tired halfway through and just start drooling on each other."

It's my turn to burst out in hysterics. What she said reminds me of my bachelor party. Pussy is pussy, regardless of the size.

The familiar sound of a key turning in the front door excites Bronx to rush down the stairs to meet Doll. She opens the door, letting in the sunlight as she throws her backpack down to greet him at his level.

"Hi, Bronx." She babies her voice. "How was your day?"

The animal erratically jumps and scurries about to get her full attention. She scratches and rubs along his sides and face.

"Hi, Doll," Leah calls behind her. "How was school?"

"Fine," she answers with Bronx in her arms as she shuts the door behind her with her sneaker. "Is the baby here yet?"

"Not yet," I tell her and resume rubbing our bump. "Carson didn't walk you home?"

She takes the question as a tease. "He did," she answers sourly as she approaches us from down the hall. Bronx dives out her arms, and his paws hit the tile softly. "When is the baby gonna be here?"

I shrug, honestly not knowing what to tell her. "Soon."

The disappointment is clear on her face. I hope I'm right. If something doesn't happen soon, we'll have no choice but to cut Leah open like a turkey at Thanksgiving and go Cesarean on this bitch. I think she's kinda thinking the same thing based on the grossed out look on her face and that way her hands clutch around Jacob or Teigan.

It's all I'm able to think about the rest of the evening. Even during dinner and watching TV, my mind finds its way to thinking about when this kid's gonna be here. We expected him here by our anniversary but that obviously didn't happen. In my mind, this can't be healthy, but Carlisle insists it's completely normal and rarely anybody goes passed the forty-two weeks mark. We're just on the cusp.

I spit the toothpaste and water mixture out of my mouth and into the sink, turn the faucet off and take my washcloth to wipe my chin. Leah restlessly tries to get comfortable on her side, making the mattress bounce rapidly.

"It sucks being tired and having insomnia," she concludes after settling in one position.

"You can hardly call not being able to go to sleep at nine o' clock insomnia," I point out, turning off the bathroom and nightstand light, and then curling up next to her. She grimaces.

"How much longer do you think she'll be here?"

I shrug. "Give it another week."

The lights are off so I can't tell if she's pouting or not, but I predict she is. My lips kiss whatever they can reach and she yawns.

"You know you don't have to go to bed the same time I do if you don't wanna," she reminds me as she settles deeper into her pillow. I've been sleeping before ten o'clock for months now, so I'm pretty used to it. Sleep won't be an option for a while so I'm getting as much as possible now.

"I'm fine," I assure her. "You get some sleep."

"Don't tell me what to do."

My grin broadens.

"Hey, Jacob?"

"Hmm?

She yawns again, with a tear leaking down her face. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Goodnight, baby," she slurs.

"G'night, Poca."

"Don't call me names."

I chuckle again and watch her drift for a few moments. Not before long, she's letting out a light snore. I continue watching her for another couple of minutes until my hand creeps it way to touch her stomach. There's a nudge on the left side right before my fingers travel to her right. She rustles, but doesn't wake.

Whoa. There's a child in there. My child. As in a child I created.

I rub softer without disturbing her and feel a nudge.

He may not be my first kid, but it's the first time I'm doing this or feeling this way. I enjoy it. The bond between the baby and I is going to be so much more involute compared to mine with Doll's, not that it's a bad thing. I love her more than anything, but this is different. This is a clean slate. Doll had her first impression of me already. How do I know how Leah percieved me to her? A baby can't pass judgement. The love and relationship I have with Doll - regardless if I've never heard her first words - isn't gonna change with the arrival of her brother or sister. The attention she receives might but it wouldnt be fair to ignore. No one likes that feeling. Being the youngest and only male of three siblings, I've never had that feeling.

This shouldnt feel different, but it does. This baby's gonna need someone to hold him, feed him, change him, care for him, love him.

I bite my lip and remove my hand. Leah's sleeping face twitches in the slightest; I smile.

_Damn, may I please not mess this shit up. _My biggest fear is dropping the kid. As funny as watching toddlers fall down is, I'd hate to disappoint Leah.

I'm a bit jealous of her, to be honest. The sympathy remains because no matter of whatever bond Doll and I have, theirs will always be stronger.

Once seeing Lee's fast asleep, I climb out of bed to go down the hall. Doll's door is open, a rarity. Bronx sights me and stares for a second. I stare back while easing my way into her room. She's passed out but her television is on the lowest volume of an episode of some cartoon. I watch it for a minute and then turn the TV off.

Bronx tries to get my attention, but I set him on the bed. I fix Doll's covers so they're over her tall body.

Her pouted plump lips resemble Leah's while the nose remains mine. If we created this, imagine the cuteness we've made this time.

I back away and out the room to go next door into the den - er, nursery.

The mobile is going round and round, the minty walls accent off the creeping moonlight, and there's stuffed animals for day in every corner. I go further into the room to take a look inside the crib. I dont think I could be able to leave him or her in here by themselves. I've heard scary stories about parents accidentally hurting their baby in the middle of the night because they let the child sleep in their bed. It's a tempting idea, but there's that risk. To avoid thinking about it, I leave the room and head downstairs. Eating usually makes me feel better.

The snacks in the kitchen were so much more appetizing before she got pregnant. Nine months ago, I'd be munching on fried foods and desserts with sugar dipped in sugar. Now I get to eat fruit, veggies, and vitamins rich in nutrients necessary to sustain a healthy balanced diet.

Good thing I have a stash.

Hiding food from my wife? Now this feels like marriage.

I check the time on the oven's digital clock - it's five minutes to ten. That hour was quick.

My teeth rip apart the thin plastic wrapper of my second honey bun. I discard the wrapper and take a big bite. This is so unhealthy, but shit, I miss sugar.

I get through about half my stash of goodies before realizing that it won't get me to sleep. I brainstorm: _what the hell else do I do when I need to get to sleep?_

My eyebrows fly upward. I pop up from my dining room chair and head for the bathroom. I pump a few ounces of the hand lotion out of the decorative hand lotion dispensor. I exit the bathroom, and retrieve my cell from the dining room table.

Jeez, this is dirty, but it's human nature.

After getting comfortable on the family room loveseat, I pull up one of the random pictures Leah sent me last year.

Here goes nothing.

My lotion hand goes into my boxers to grip my junk. I'm hard within minutes, so now I just jerk. My torso tingles along with my waist. I won't be having sex for months so might as well get used to my hand again.

I lean into the back cushion and moan aloud, "Goddamnit." My teeth grind together harshly. I peak an eye open to glance at Leah in her shorts and knee highs.

Goddamn.

My toes curl, my thumb flicks my slit, and I let out another moan. I'm careful to keep my cries of pleasure down so I don't wake Doll or Leah.

The heart pumping in my chest increases with each stroke. By this point, I'm way too weak to hold my phone without breaking it so I just drop it to the floor and squeeze the air.

"Shit," I prolong the word and feel my ass cheeks clench inward. The tingle in my balls escalates to an earth shattering orgasm with my semen spewing out my tip and onto my knuckles.

I ride myself out for a number of minutes until I come off my high and settle back into the loveseat.

Well, that felt good.

I don't feel sleepy, but I'm refreshed. Now my hand and pants are dirty.

I take the walk of shame to the kitchen to wash my hands. The faucet is pretty loud, but not loud enough to wake Leah or Doll. My fingertips drum the metal rim of the sink impatienty.

Maybe I should change my pants.

I begin to remove my sweats and boxers and check for the hospital bag near the door. I unzip it, get out some new boxers, out and slip them on.

I stroll back into the kitchen afrer tossing my grey sweats down the basement stairs where the washer and dryer are. The clock reads ten-thirteen. At least I don't have to be up for work tomorrow. I sigh and go back to the family room to plop a squat on the couch. Even after fucking myself, I'm still bored, still wide awake, and still impatient.

"Jacob?"

I quit my breathing to make sure I heard her. The house is eerily silent.

"Jacob!" She calls a few moments later. My body bounces off the love seats with the quickness as I fly up the stairs, tripping over my own feet. Blood rushes from my face and adrenaline to my legs.

I stumble into our bedroom to see her sitting up, feeling our bump with an expression of surprise mixed with wonder.

_Oh, shit._

"What is it?"

She calmly scratches her head and gasp after a moment. "Either I just pissed my pants or my water just broke."

**A/N So, what do you guys think? Are Jacob and Leah having a girl or boy? **


	14. Teigan Tatum

**A/N I'm glad I could get such active feedback. But despite any doubts, I know what I'm doing. I have been since Part 1 so just trust me. I've written and revised this story more times than I can even imagine so when I say what I'm doing is completely voluntary and planned, I'm telling the God's honest truth. Oh and by the way, if you're gonna leave a review, especially a negative one, don't be anon. It ruins the kinda connection I want from my readers and reviewers.**

Everything after those words is a rush. Our plan is thrown out the window because now that it's come down to it, I've forgotten just about everything we've rehearsed and prepped for the past nine fucking months. Even while getting the hospital bag and shit together, I'm ready to drive off to The Cullen's, but it would help if I weren't so nervous and forgetting the most important part of this whole process, which is my annoyed yet calm and pregnant wife.

So after jetting back into the house to get her, the three of us are in the Rabbit on our way to The Cullen's, driving at speeds beyond fast and furious. Doll is excited but kinda aggravated, all because she had to wake up in the middle of the night to be taken on an adventure through the land of the pregnant and the home of the placenta.

Leah's mild groaning startles her, but I assure her Mommy's fine. At one point in the car ride, to make the experience seem easier, I stupidly ask if it hurts. Leah gives me a look, crosses her arms, and gives me a snarl that sends chills down my spine and arms. I feel the sarcasm coming.

"No, Jacob. It fucking tickles. _What the fuck do you fucking think_?"

But to our surprise, she calms down once we arrive to Carlisle's and have her rested, dilated and cranky in the hospital room. He's got a handful of nurses - I'm assuming they're from the hospital - on deck to help and assist. The hustle and bustle of them all in one room is making me a bit nauseous. The tests and different medical junk they're doing is making my head spin.

Leah's stopped the moaning and such for now since her pain is subdued to what she describes as menstrual cramps. That's bearable. She resembles a little girl as Sue brushes her hair back into a ponytail. I don't let go of her hand for anything. Every few moments, she'll squeeze to indicate pain or nervousness. She and Sue had a quick conversation, which must've calmed her down. Sue kisses her daughter's forehead multiple times, encouraging her simultaneously. A smile actually appears upon Leah's face.

At seven centimeters dilated, her expressions get more and more worried and sad. Well, maybe sad isn't the right word. More scared, if anything. My thumb reassures her with a gentle caress of her knuckles. Having an arm and whatever else hooked up to a bunch different wires and cords would make anyone this nervous.

Since she isn't going through hard labor yet, Leah allows a few people in for a quick visit. When Seth comes into the delivery room, he informs us that we have a bit of people waiting downstairs. Apparently Emily, my sisters, and even the twins are here. It's like a tan people invasion.

Those few moments of intimacy we get before she'd have to begin pushing are my favorite parts. It's oral how we communicated in these minutes to ourselves.

_Are you okay?_ I ask.

She shrugs and nods her head lightly as it lies upon the pillow. I remove a flyaway strand that Sue missed and tuck it behind her ear.

_You're so beautiful._

She closes her eyes. _Thank you._

The flashes of pain every three or four minutes come soon after the room is cleared out. Contractions get closer and closer together, bringing on the more intense pain that will follow with delivery.

None of anything seems surreal until Carlisle, Sue, and I have on birthing gear - that's what the doc calls it - and Leah's feet are propped up. She's drugged up on epidural obviously, but she's highly and actively aware. The nurses begin rushing around like ants to a boot.

Time doesn't come back up to speed until it's time to push. Carlisle's head and hands are at Leah's opening. The absolute discomfort is written clearly across Leah's face as Carlisle encourages her to push.

Her chest heaves heavily when she gives it all her might, takes a breather, and whimpers. On my exterior, I'm calm, but everything within is a mess. My nerves get the best of me when Leah lets out another whine and yelp, so I shut my eyes while her nails bury themselves deep in my flesh. I squeeze with her, trying to play everything cool, but it's not working.

I'm crying.

Sue's chanting her daughter on while I'm at a physical loss for words. My mouth is wired shut, only useful for kissing her hand in between pushes. The sweat makes any loose hairs cling to her forehead. Each drop drips downward and over her cheeks and jaw. Some of those drips are tears. She throws her head back over the pillow and whines yet again with her bottom lips deep within her mouth as she bites down in pain.

"_Carlisle,"_ she moans.

"Leah, all it's going to take is a few pushes. I can see the head. Just a few more," he promises, his voice muffled under his face mask.

Our eyes meet for a split second before she licks her lips and nods. "Okay," she manages to say.

The blood leaves my hand and head to as she squeezes and pushes simultaneously. Sue's cheers of encouragement continue while I rub her arm and hand.

I finally get the words I've wanted to say out. "You got this, babe."

She gets louder and louder with each second. Her face is all fifty shades of red as she forces herself and the child. Sue goes silent for a second only leaving earth-shattering screams and grunts to echo within the room. Carlisle eyes widen, making me panic for a split second till he relaxes. Leah ceases to push.

"C'mon, Leah," he mutters. "One more push."

"One more, baby," I add. Her lips quiver and tears follow but she re-opens her eyes and her teeth chatter.

"Shit," she cries and quits her chatter to grit her teeth. A guttural growl explodes from her mouth while her grip on mine and Sue's hands increases. The pain is numbing.

Everything from Leah's beg for mercy to Sue's cheering is replaced with the blood rushing through my ears. My heart beats faster and faster as each second passes what felt too slowly. Every vein is popping out of Leah. She's giving everything she's got. I kiss her hand repeatedly and the tears don't stop.

Leah, Sue, Carlisle, and my blood fade because he only thing I can hear is a cry. Not a cry of pain but an irritated, unintentional crying. The type of cry that doesn't involve tears, but a whole lot of wailing.

The wailing is coming from the tiny creature being held at the head in Carlisle's steady hands. The creature has two stubby, perfect legs and arms; ten perfect fingers spread evenly on each of the two miniature hands. The creature has even stubbier toes on each little foot. Her toes, fingers, arms, and legs are writhing about with her naked body, covered in blood and vernix, as she cries for reasons unknown. The black waves upon his tiny head give great indication that she'll most likely have Leah's hair instead of mine.

I blink for the first time in two minutes.

That's a baby; _my _ baby.

The cries echo.

"Jacob," Carlisle calls me.

I can't talk anymore so I just look at him.

"Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?"

Just as he asks me that, one of his nurses hands me a pair of silver scissors. I gulp as I take the tool from her, leave Leah's side, and approach the wailing sound. My hand shakes as it nears the purplish snake-like thing connecting the baby to Leah. The snip is drowned out by the continuous crying.

As if life were back in slow motion, my eyes feast upon the being in Carlisle's arms as she's being passed to one of his nurses who has a warm blanket and towel ready.

"_Teigan,"_ I whisper to myself.

Leah's hand grabs mine again as she watches closely in awe as our daughter is being taken across the room. Her relieved and victorious expression speaks more volumes than any words could ever.

_Wait, no. . . ._

I panic as the baby's cries get louder, yet she travels farther away. _Where are they taking her?_

The worry and confusion must've been plain to see on my face because Carlisle and Sue give me that look that grown-ups do_._

_Everything's fine_, they're saying.

"Teigan," Leah repeats.

"Teigan," I say again behind getting choked up. "Wh-where're they taking h-her?"

"They're just going to do her bedside exam," Sue answers, her grip on Leah's hand, not letting up for a second.

I try those words out for myself. "Bedside exam."

Beyond the curtain they took her behind, the crying continues and makes me feel uncertain in ways I can't understand. The crying is so soft but it puts me on such an edge.

_Why is she crying? Why can't I hold her now?_

They have her on a table under what looks like a heater. Nurse after nurse rapidly towers over her, wiping her of the gunk and Leah's blood while all different types of tests are being ran. One of the nurses injects her with a shot.

_That's my baby._

Her body squirms aimlessly as she reaches upward towards the air, gripping and grabbing for nothing.

That's my daughter; _my second daughter._

Is this what meeting Doll would've been like?

Teigan Tatum Black, newest member of the Black family, was born April third of two thousand thirteen in Forks, Washington at 11:39 PM. She weighs in at seven pounds and twenty-three ounces, being twenty point thirty-two inches. I've only known her thirty-something minutes, but she's already the love of my life.

Leah hasn't taken her eyes off of her since receiving her from one of the nurses. Whose features she possesses are difficult to figure right now since she still looks like a potato, but her hair is obvious. The tousled mess of black swirls atop her head is plainly Leah's because my hair is straight and a little spiky.

My head rest on the side of the bed as I watch Leah nurse Teigan close to her breast. She looks exhausted. I'd be, too. It doesn't take long for word to spread of her and some special people would like to visit.

Doll and my sisters are our first few visitors and almost immediately, the three of them erupt in a chorus of aw's. Teigan blissfully sucks upon Leah's nipple while we all stare and fathom at how small she is.

"What's her name?" Rebecca asks as Doll plops herself at the foot of the hospital bed.

"Teigan," Leah answers tiredly. "Teigan Tatum Black."

"How'd you come up with that?" Rachel asks now, anxiously wanting to be the first few to hold her.

"I came up with Tatum, and Teigan was Jacob's idea. Looks like he owes me ten dollars." Leah finally glances upward to give me a wink.

_Aw, that's right._

Leah plainly sees the failure on my face and laughs. Teigan's lips release from around her nipple, indicating that she's full. I wanna say aw, but I don't.

"Doll, you wanna hold your new baby sister?" Leah asks, wiping excess saliva from around her lips and fixing her hospital gown back over her shoulder.

The question catches my eight-year-old off guard. Her eyes widen while she places her arms out unstably. Leah passes the baby over cautiously, warning her to hold her by the head. Doll supports her head with care and just stares like she's looking into the eyes of an alien.

"She's so tiny," Doll comments as pokes one of Teigan's puffy and tan cheeks with her index fingers. The baby has little reaction.

"Yeah, I know," Leah agrees. "_You _used to be this tiny."

"Wow," she gasps in amazement. "I can't tell what color her eyes are."

"Brown," I answer proudly. "She has _my eyes_."

It feels good to say that.

"Can I hold her?" Becca puts her arms out, too, looking to Leah for permission. My wife nods, and with the most gentle of touches, Doll passes Becca her new niece.

"Aw, she's adorable," she says.

"Well, she's got some good genes," Leah remarks and lies back onto her pillow. Her basic instinct makes her wanna rub her stomach, but she doesn't after realizing there's nothing left in there.

"Is it weird that I still feel pregnant?" she suddenly asks me, looking a bit annoyed as she crosses her arms.

I shrug. "Probably just cramps or gas or something."

My possible answers don't fit her question. She calls Carlisle's name and he's around the curtain within milliseconds.

"Is it normal to still feel pregnant?"

He thinks about it for a second. "It varies. Some women feel it; some don't. Why?"

"It feels like there's another one in there."

Teigan makes a cartoon-sounding noise with her mouth, catching mine and Leah's attention for a second before turning back to Carlisle. He goes into further explanation about some psychological studies and postpartum depression for a few minutes until there's a knock at the door.

"Hello?" The familiar and goofy voices on the other side project through the room, making me laugh. I hear them mumbling and fussing about some bet they'd made over the sex of the baby which makes me laugh a little harder.

Gotta love our pack mates.

"Let them in," Leah allows as she rolls her eyes, acting like she doesn't enjoy our brothers.

Carlisle swiftly crosses the room to let them in. Paul, Collin, Brady, and Quil file in, tripping over themselves and each other. Leah puts her index over her lips to silence them. They quickly hush up just as they all take their first looks at Teigan.

She's shocked them.

"Oh my God," Paul gasps. "He's so -"

"_She_," Leah and I correct him. Collin and Brady exchange a look. "You owe me ten bucks," Brady whispers to his twin. Collin scoffs in response.

"She's tiny," Brady finishes after getting behind Rebecca to further examine the child over her shoulder. "Jake, she looks just like you."

"How can you tell so soon?" Rachel asks him.

"I don't know, but she's definitely got _his _eyes," he explains, crossing his arms.

Quil nods his head as he stares at his baby cousin longer. Teigan doesn't rustle much as she naps in her aunt's arms.

"Good job, Leah," Paul continues. "I'm hella proud of you." His tone lies on both sides of the line of sarcasm and genuine sincerity.

Leah shrugs tiredly and leans back onto the pillows. "Thanks, man. Hey, Jake, can you get me a juice box from the bag, please?"

I never got as to why apple juice boxes are mandatory in the hospital bag, but she insisted she had cravings at the time we packed it. I retrieve the bag from the decorative chair by the window, unzip the first flap, and grab a juice box. Before zipping the flap back up, I take a look outside. It's still night time, but it feels like the sun should be rising. It's only a little passed midnight, though.

Leah's hand is already stretched out when I turn back around to give her the drink. She attacks the wrapper around the straw and penetrates it into the cardboard. She lets out a sigh of relief once she sucks up the contents of Baby Doll's juice boxes.

"What'd you say her name was?" Quil questions once Teigan's been passed to Rachel's arms.

"Teigan Tatum," Doll replies this time. "Isn't she adorable?"

"Absolutely precious," Rachel mumbles as she kisses Teigan's forehead. It a sentimental moment between us all. It's especially a silent gathering, too. Something about this kind of thing shuts us right up. Paul, Collin, Brady, and Quil exit the room after another few moments, so I take this opportunity to change Teigan's first diaper - something I obviously do not enjoy. In more way than others, this is our first daddy daughter moment. She's finally opened her eyes slightly to stare up at me. I cock my head to the side and she just blinks.

"I haven't even gotten to hold you for myself yet, now have I?" I whisper to her, tossing the dirty diaper into the trash bin on the other side of the bathroom. Obviously she doesn't comprehend, but it feels like she's judging me how her pink lips curve in a smirk.

_Naw, she's a baby,_ I tell myself. _She can't smirk._

Or maybe she can.

I wanna cry now. She's making fun of me.

I put the diaper on her tiny lower half and press the flaps down. She squirms on the changing table, but I don't let her move too much as I reach into the hospital bag and pull out the pastel pink onesie with the word princess written across the front in rhinestones. It was a gift from Alice, obviously, because only she has such taste. I make cute little noises to distract Teigan a bit as I slip the outfit onto her little body. My noises and funky faces turn her smirk into a toothless smile. Her voice is small now but she actually giggles.

This is a different kind of feeling. I enjoy it. I feel unstoppable yet vulnerable all because she's so vulnerable. I've been waiting almost a whole year for this child and now that she's here, I'm speechless. I'm responsible for this miniature human being who's smirking and smiling at the greatest thing since sliced bread. Although I feel happy, there's also a protective and demonic side of me that triggers my instincts like a wolf in the wild to kill and destroy anything that tries to harm my young. This is exactly how I felt when I first met Doll officially after finding out she was mine. Within this established family I have, I'm the protector. Even though it's impossible for me to phase, I'd shred and dismember anyone for my girls. I didn't know how else to put it.

Teigan makes a few more noises as I slip on her matching booties and cap.

"It's alright," I assure her when she gets upset with me fixing her onesie after realizing I put it on wrong. "Daddy's got you."

The slightest things such as her smooth skin against my calloused skin brings that sting to my eyes to warn me I'll begin crying. I fight the tears because they're not explainable. Why am I crying? She's the one who should be crying. Maybe because she's the size of my bicep is what makes me wanna get on my knees and weep.

I wrap her back up in the blanket and watch her very closely as I fix the zipper on the hospital bag after it gets caught on some cloth. I yank the cloth and see that it's the sky blue onesies we brought just in case. Momma's Boy, it reads. This is a tad bittersweet with me wanting a son and all, but it doesn't matter at this point. I have the rest of my life to wait for a son.

I sling the hospital bag over my shoulder and exit the bathroom with Teigan resting upon my shoulder. She clings around my neck as if it's an automatic reaction as I set the bag next to the bed.

Bella, Emily, and Jared have come for a visit this time and the same what's-her-name-and-can-I-hold-her process begins all over again. I'm resistant to give her up, but I have the next eighteen years to hold her.

Almost all of our friends and family who decided to come by the Cullen's visit us to see Teigan. Not even an hour of life has passed and she's already loved around half of La Push. When it all comes down to it, Leah and I - and a few straying nurses - are the only ones left after Doll decides to go downstairs with Sue.

It's funny how Billy, with the struggle of his wheelchair getting up the stairs, and even Esme come to see Leah yet the one knucklehead she's waiting for never does.

I don't want Seth's absence to upset her. She was really looking forward to seeing him but comes find out he didn't even show up to the house, according to Sue.

"Ya think he meant it when he said he didn't wanna be a part of this family if you were?" she asks me while Teigan sleeps on her chest like a baby gorilla does.

I wanna shake my head as a bunch of voices inside me yell yes. So I play it cool by rolling my eyes and thinking of the most logical answer.

"Technically, you married into _my_ family," I explain, and she shrugs the idea off. The disappointment is clear on her face, making me disappointed, too, because not only he didn't show up, but this grudge he has is keeping him from his own niece. Our feud is taking all types of effects on this family, especially Leah. Just because the relationship between him and I is strained doesn't mean theirs has to be.

"Babe, take her," she croaks. Her tired voice grabs me out of my thoughts as she leans forward from the pillows, supporting a sleeping Teigan as she does. "All that apple juice has caught up. I gotta pee."

Our baby is in my arms within moments as one of the nurses assists Leah out of the hospital bed and to the bathroom. I'm careful not to wake her as she inhales and exhales out upon my chest. She gets snug and I sink in the comfy seat to make us both a little more comfortable.

"You sleeping, my little Teigan?" I mumble and kiss the top of her head. "You're so beautiful, you know that?"

The stinging begins again but I fight it. There's no reason for tears right now.

She sighs.

"Daddy loves you _so _much, alright? Daddy's not gonna let _anything_ hurt you." I nuzzle her closer and rock her. The drool leaking out her mouth seeps through my T-shirt when I dip down and kiss her a few more times.

"Jacob!" Leah calls from the bathroom frantically, but the panic deep in her tone doesn't shake me out of my fatherly bliss.

"Yeah?"

"Um... uh," she stammers. "My water just broke?" It comes out more as a question than a statement. I assume she pissed herself so I don't pay much attention, but the nurses find it alarming.

"Jacob?" Leah grunts minutes later, but this time I hear the pain in her voice. I press Teigan carefully to my chest while I jerk forward and out of the chair to go to the bathroom.

"Leah?"

The whole room is dead-silent and still. I listen hard, yet my feet can't make it to the bathroom because my knees have locked halfway.

Her groan escalates to a scream.

"There is something in my vagina and it wants to _get out!_"


	15. Jacob Axel Jr

**A/N Like a penis in a strip club, let's make the number of reviews, follows, and favorites rise. **

Exploitative is rushing out of Leah's mouth faster than she could walk to the hospital bed. After reluctantly handing Teigan to a nearby nurse, I help her back into her spot, letting her squeeze my hand when necessary.

Carlisle flies in the room with a blur of colors in his trail, prepped to deliver yet again. He doesn't look as surprised as Leah and I do, which is a little agitating.

"Carlisle," she moans, irritated. "Carlisle, I'm still pregnant."

"Yes, Leah," he replies, half laughing and re-opening her legs. "I know."

She's breathing as calmly as possible while drugs are being slipped into her bloodstream by one of the nurses. Leah's eyes eagerly search the room for Teigan, but she's nowhere to be found. Our panic is mutual.

"Where's Teigan?" she pants, ignoring Carlisle's order to remain calm and push.

"She's been taken downstairs," he answers. "Just push, please."

Her worry turns to relief within short moments as she throws her head back and reaches for my other hand. I give her both and she squeezes them.

"Jake," she pants like she's done many times today.

"I'm right here," I assure her.

"It hurts."

"I know, baby." I kiss her forehead. "But you gotta push."

The sweat begins to drip in bucket loads as it leaks from her hairline and forehead and down her face. Discomfort crosses her features as she struggles and pushes. Carlisle encourages her further and further as his hands disappear near her opening.

_Twins._ We're having twins. Leah and I are having twins. Twins. Two. That means double. Double. _Twins. _ The room spins while my knees buckle again at the thought of two babies, an energetic eight-year-old, and a puppy running around the house crying, screaming, whining, peeing, drooling. . .

I get dizzy for a second but hold myself up as best as possible while Leah grits her teeth and forces the child out. I try not to imagine the pain she's going through at the moment and focus on helping her.

"C'mon, Leah," Carlisle continues, and begins pulling. "The baby's almost out so keep pushing."

_Holy shit, there's another baby in there._ My third daughter is in there, ready to pop right out.

"Jacob," Leah cries and bruises my palm with each squeeze. My bones crack and displace themselves as my fingers go weak. My eyes go wide but I ignore the pain because it's nothing compared to Leah's.

Her grunts get even more intense as Carlisle and the nurses begin to take the baby out gently. Leah continues to push with moderate screams before she gives up slack and reclines in the hospital bed.

"Fuck this, I'm staying pregnant." She quits, exhausted, and I have a corny inspiring speech prepared but am quickly interrupted by Carlisle's four fingers slapping against the behind of our second newborn.

My eyes widen further.

After a split second, the baby's cries ring out, making Leah jerk forward and gasp. I, too, gasp and our hands begin to squeeze each other's.

That's another baby.

The healthy sound of the baby screaming in irritation escalates as one of the nurses gets a towel for Carlisle to wipe him or her off.

"Jacob," he says just like before. I'm already taking the scissors from another nurse.

"Yes, I would," I answer without him having to ask, and step forward to cut the umbilical cord.

The scissors position perfectly with the purple and slimy snakelike cord and I press down. Once doing so, I sneak my first looks at her.

Or rather him. . . Carlisle's holding a boy. My son.

I return the scissors.

_I have a son._

My knees do that wobbling shit again as I watch the nurses and Carlisle take him behind the curtain and his crying becomes distant. Leah's stunned expression appeases to a grin of sorts. She shuts her eyes and finally releases her grip upon my hand.

This explains everything. The reason it felt like our baby was playing soccer was because there were two of them. . . and we didn't even know it. Carlisle didn't even know it! I jinxed it.

So now there are five of us. Well, six if you include Bronx, but human-wise, the Blacks have just expanded to a five-part unit. It's the American dream; the ideal family. There's the daddy, who brings home the bacon; the stay at home mom; the dog; and three perfect children. All we need is a white picket fence and a tire swing in the backyard.

My heart rapidly bumps around like the Energizer Bunny in my chest as it heaves in and out, in desperate need of oxygen.

My new stay-at-home wife beckons me back to her side. "Jacob?"

"Hmm?"

Her breath evens out as her smile begins to reveal her white teeth. "So?"

I smile at her just as Jacob Jr.'s crying subsides to a confused whine and a few funny noises.

"We have a son," I inform her.

"Really?" she squeaks tiredly and takes a look at Carlisle, who's prepping the needle and thread to sew up her tearing. I nod.

"Damn," she yawns. "Nice. Good job. Gimme some." She puts her fist out and I tap our knuckles. Once our skin makes contact, her fingers slickly unfold and pry around my wrist to bring me forward.

"'Member how I said we're waiting five years in between before having another kid?" she asks.

"Yeah, why?"

"I was lying. We're not doing this ever again."

"But—"

"_Ever._"

Jacob Axel, Jr., newest addition to the Black family, was born April fourth of two thousand thirteen in Forks, Washington at 12:29 AM. He weighs in at seven pounds and thirty-one ounces, also being twenty point thirty-two inches long.

Jacob Jr. and Teigan look alike not just because they're twins, but in my opinion, all babies do. I'm itching to see what they'll look like when they get to be around six or seven months old and their features really begin to shine through. I'd also like to know who they'll look more like between Leah and I. In fact, Leah's already saying Doll looks like Jacob Jr.—or Axel—when she was born. It's nice to see that the twins have my eyes. Axel's hair is just as black and tousled as Teigan's. I've taken nearly a hundred pictures and still haven't gotten tired of looking at them.

Doll is surely taken by surprise when she looks at her new brother for the first time. Her surprise then turns to something I can't explain. It's like she's about to cry or die of laughter. Whichever it is, she holds him just as delicately as she did Teigan.

The two of them are sound asleep with Teigan in my arms and Axel in Sue's. Leah's been asleep for about two hours now and it's nearing three in the morning. Seth still hasn't shown to see either of his new family members, and he can't use any bullshit excuse for it. Saying he didn't know of Leah going into labor would've been a damn lie because Sue and Billy told everyone. This is a small town and word only takes so long to spread.

But hey, who needs him? We're perfectly fine.

The hollowness of my bottomless pit for a stomach moans aloud to grab attention for food. I ignore it for a minute and don't take my eyes off of Teigan as she rests on my bicep.

"Jacob, you need to get something to eat," Carlisle advises me from the other side of the room. I shake my head, refusing to leave the twins. As much as I would like to devour everything in the Cullens' kitchen, I stay in the cushioned chair beside the hospital bed. Leah sighs in her sleep.

"It'll only take a minute," Sue insists, using her index finger to stroke her grandson's face.

"I'm fine," I reply. My yawn says otherwise as does the few more following it. I feel dizzy for the umpteenth time today.

"Your sisters and I can handle the twins for a few 'til you get back," she promises, and the sound of that jerks Rachel out of her daze.

I trust Sue and my sisters. The maternal intuition would be a good early influence for the twins, I guess. And besides, I am a bit hungry. I just hope they won't cry while I'm gone.

"Eh, okay." I finally give in and stand to give Rachel my daughter. The baby barely rustles as we make the transition and I give her a kiss.

"Jake, it's fine. We got them," Rach insists trying to put on a smile, but the sleepiness is as clear on her face as it is mine. She should be the one resting.

"Sure, sure. I'll be right back," I promise and sleepily drag myself out the hospital door. Finding out which way is up is the challenge. I instantly smell the others and my nose wrinkles. There's no wolf scent anywhere, so the pack must've rolled out a while back.

I jog down the stairs as coherently and manageable as I can, and seeing Alice and Jasper play a game of chess in the dining room catches me off guard.

"Congrats," Alice says with a grin.

"Thanks," I mumble before entering the kitchen and hearing Jasper hiss at her checkmate.

The rattling of the glass bottles and plastic fill my ears as I round the corner to see none other than Nessie closing the fridge door in the dark kitchen. Her mouth is full of food, so to greet me, she waves, finishes chewing, swallows, and smiles.

"Hey," she says, spurting chocolate syrup into her bowl of what smells like peanut butter, Oreos, and ice cream.

She doesn't jump at my appearance, like usual. She actually looks pretty calm so I'm glad one of us could be. I reach over and turn the light on to see that she looks like fashion model at three o'clock in the morning. Why? I can't say.

"Ness," I say stupidly and pass the island in the middle of the kitchen to get to the fridge. "Hey."

"So, twins, huh?" The sound of the syrup bottle emptying out increases with each squeeze until she gives up and tosses it in the trash.

"Y-yeah," I answer and open the fridge, revealing a fucking grocery store. For a family who doesn't eat, they sure harvest for the winter. My eyes squint at the light.

"That's cute," Nessie compliments, and I hear the shuffle of metal utensils but I don't turn around to watch her.

"Thanks," I sigh and grab the first appetizing dish Esme has stored away in the fridge.

"What are their names?" The utensil—a spoon, I assume—clinks against the edges of the bowl.

"My daughter, the older one, is Teigan Tatum," I answer. "The boy is Jacob Axel . . ._Junior_." I pop the microwave open to heat the dish, which looks and smells like Chinese food. I set a random time and the buzz of the appliance fills the room.

"Aw, little Jacob," Nessie coos, and I feel her presence get farther and farther away from me. She's lingering by the threshold to the dining room.

"I would've come to see them for myself," she admits, "but it would've been a smidge awkward, huh? Without Seth, anyway."

My eyes shoot towards her direction. "Which reminds me…" I begin. "Why hasn't he come to see Leah yet? Where is he?" I'm truly curious for her answer.

She rolls her eyes. "I don't freakin' know. He's been all over. I wish I knew, but I don't keep as close tabs on him as he does me."

I somehow believe that. "Kinda selfish of him, I guess."

She licks her spoon and leans on the wall behind her. "I'll say."

"I'd think _you_, of all people, would know where he's at."

Her shrug is nonchalant. "You thought wrong."

I stop the microwave and stare out the kitchen's huge window at the nighttime. The forest is still on my side of the glass.

I know I shouldn't ask, but I'm nosy. "You guys break up?"

Her hair flips side to side as she shakes her head dramatically. "'Course not. How can we ever bare to be apart?" The sarcasm is deep yet questionable in her answer.

"So that's a no?"

She shrugs again. "I don't know what the hell we are. Ever since—" She stops, glares me up and down, and continues. "He's been this way. The lack of trust thing is understandable, but God forbid it takes me an extra thirty seconds to text back. I'm obviously on every dick from here to creation. We're just taking a break, though. . . I think." She groans and stuffs her face.

The hurt begins to show on her face. I'm not even sure if Leah trusts me again. If I were her, I'd favor being with a possessive, depressed person rather than one that beats me to a pulp for simply making a sandwich wrong.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't wanna hear this. You just had babies so…" She leaves the sentence at that and rolls her eyes another two times. "I'll see ya." She waves with her spoon in hand and leaves before I can say goodbye.

With this new discovery, I'm growing worried about Seth. The incident was over a year ago. He can't still be that angry to not even wanna see his niece and nephew. Even Nessie can't take it.

But I don't have the time to deal with an emotional, distressed "ex" best friend when I have not one but _two_ crying, whining, screaming, and peeing little machines upstairs. Dealing with Leah going through the motions is gonna be stressful enough, and then there's Doll to account for—her jealousy is gonna be through the roof.

I sigh in acceptance as I grab a fork and finish this vegetable mixture that Esme must have made. After eating, I put the dirty dishes in the sink and rush upstairs back to my twins and Leah. They're all sound asleep, thankfully, so I take this as an opportunity of my own to get as much sleep as possible before taking us all home.

After an additional day at The Cullens', the time has come to get back to our own place and bring the twins home for the first time. Rebecca and Rachel took care of Doll and Bronx in our absence, along with getting us another car seat as a late baby shower gift.

Leaving the Cullens' resembles a breath of fresh air since their stench is nauseating and I don't want the newborns getting used to it.

It takes us a long while to actually leave because getting the car seats in is all types of complicated. The first time, Sue shows me how to strap it up and ended up putting in Teigan's within a few minutes. Jacob's is a different story since Sue and Leah make me do it myself. Needless to say, it takes us twenty minutes to leave, but it takes longer to get home.

Being the newly-cautious parent I am, the Rabbit doesn't go passed fifteen miles per hour.

"Is there a reason as to why we're going slow as hell?" Leah complains five minutes into our ride as she sits in the middle between the car seats.

"My NASCAR days are over," I inform her.

We live ten minute—at the most—from Vampire Manor, so at the speed I'm going, it takes us an hour to get home.

Doll, Bronx, and my sisters are beyond excited to see us the second we get through the door. Everything is all hugs and kisses until Axel breaks down in tears. At that, my sisters leave to avoid the noise, but he soon calms down once we figure out he needs his diaper changed.

And so it begins.

* * *

Lullabies don't work.

Story books don't work.

White noise machines don't work.

Sleeping in our bed doesn't work.

Begging them to stop obviously doesn't work.

Rocking their tiny bodies back and forth doesn't fucking work.

It's been an entire _three weeks_ and the amount of sleep we've gotten combined adds up to about an hour, and that's including Doll. At this point, we don't even bother going to bed, so we just stay up and wait for them to begin crying and hollering, which only takes about half an hour after we put them in their cribs. Squeezing a second crib in there is a challenge and it throws the room of its decorative balance, but thanks to Billy, Jacob has a place to sleep.

I struggle to leave my comfortable spot on the mattress as their synchronized cries fill the upstairs level. My tired and red eyes stare evilly at the baby monitor on the night stand. Leah doesn't even move—I don't think she can.

"I got them," I tell her, and she waves me off as I limp down the hall. Passing by her door, I see Doll's wide awake as well.

"Okay, okay," I put my hands up in defense as I take a peek into both of their cribs. Their bodies squirm and wiggle about in irritation, crumpling their sheets in the process. Their wrinkled eyes are barely leaking any tears, but they seem to be getting louder and louder with each second.

"Daddy's here, m'kay?" I tell them both. I proceed to lift Teigan first by under her arms to place her upon one shoulder, and handle Jacob like a football and get him on my other. Their wailing doesn't stop even when I bounce up and down while humming and mumbling a melody in my best singing voice possible.

My ears ring.

"Oh, c'mon, guys. Give Mommy and Daddy a break."

They refuse.

I growl and kiss both of their cheeks back and forth. "You guys can't be hungry yet," I mutter. "We just fed you."

Their diapers smell clean and have been changed freshly so that can't be their deal. This bouncing shit doesn't work and my knees are killing me. For some reason, getting them to be quiet would be worth it. I yawn and my eyes water as I try to judge the time based on outside. It's obviously dark. I predict about midnight.

Teigan calms down slightly, but Jacob's not letting up. I increase my bouncing endurance and yawn again.

"C'mon, little man." I set Teigan in her crib to tend to her brother. "Leah!"

Jacob's inch long fingers pat my face repeatedly as if to grab my attention, but he already has it. The sorrow and need for affection is deep in his eyes. I kiss his nose.

"It's okay," I assure him and kiss away his tears. "Daddy's got you."

Leah's footsteps squeak under the wooden floor. I turn to look at her, and to be perfectly honest, she looks like hell. Her grimace widens as she lifts Teigan up to cradle her. She looks like she's about to cry, so I lean over and give her a kiss of her own. Her cheek has my slobber on it but she chooses not to wipe it off. Instead, she comes in closer towards me and Jacob to brings their faces together.

They were beginning to look alike.

"It's gonna be okay," I promise her and the twins. She struggles for a smile but fails at making it look genuine. I don't take offense to her lack of affection so I continue kissing Jacob's nose, yet crying doesn't end.

**A/N Um, S/O to my beta, MusicTwilightLove, who knows my diabolical plot twist to this series but still loves me and betas anyway.**


	16. Mother's Day

**A/N You know the usual. . .review, favor, and follow. :) Love you guys. **

The crying doesn't end for days. We've gotten so stir-crazy and stressed that we're starting to believe they twins are aliens sent to Earth through the fertilization of Leah and I, just to make everyone crazy. Of course, that's ridiculous, but shit… it felt true. Only when we're half-asleep do we think of some shit like that.

And it seems like they always pick nighttime to cry, just to make noise. If they cry during the day, they have a reason. But at night, it's like they just want attention. It's understandable but very stressful.

Doll hasn't been able to get sleep, either. She's missed school a couple of times because she missed her bus or just didn't feel like getting out of bed at all due to her being so damn tired. Leah and I don't even have the patience to discipline or help her because we ourselves are out of it.

And boy, is the old Leah live and well. The sass, sarcasm, harsh humor, and cocked eyebrows are back. She's never been this mean to me before—not even during our shifting days. I sorta enjoy it but at the same time, it frustrates me. I think I'm just as mean back without even trying to be. She blames her twenty-something pound weight gain on me daily, and doesn't let me forget how flat her stomach or how tight her ass was before I "did this to her." I don't like talking to her. I've been snapping at her for little things like warming up a bottle or whose turn it was to go check on the twins when they begin crying. The deal we made about being nice and having an equal partnership was bullshit from the start. Even if we just had Teigan, we would still be as stressed.

"You had to have sung something to Doll to make her stop crying," I say, traveling in a bounce with Teigan around the nursery. Leah groans and continuously kisses Jacob's forehead in an attempt to get him to be quiet. It seems like of all the gifts we got, no one thought to give us a pacifier.

A few loud moments pass before Leah answers. "_Tarzan_," she mumbles. I lift a brow and lean in closer to hear her better.

She shyly looks over the top of Jacob's head and bites her lip. "_Tarzan_."

"What's he got to do with—?"

"Whenever Doll would begin crying, I'd sing her that song from _Tarzan_ and do the gorilla thing," she admits timidly, and kisses Jacob's face with her chapped lips.

"What gorilla thing?" I question her, doing a similar action to Teigan's face.

"I used to sing that 'You'll Be In My Heart' song and bang on my chest and yell and she'd just laugh herself to sleep."

I stare at Leah. She can't be serious.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Why _Tarzan_?"

The few seconds it takes for her answer are delayed, attributed to being so fatigued.

"I don't know. It was Seth's favorite movie growing up. I was missing him at the time and I had the VHS tape handy and, well, countless hours have been spent watching it and Doll grew to like it. The yodeling thing he does always made her happy, so. . ."

Picturing Leah bang upon her chest and scream aloud like a wild man raised by gorillas makes me chuckle, which causes Teigan to pat against my face for attention. She takes my laugh to offense and tries to justify herself.

"I was alone and desperate and—dammit, Jake, just_ try it_!" she snaps, and puts our son into his crib parallel to his twin's. He gets even crankier and she follows his lead.

"Put Tee in her crib so we can try this," Leah instructs me angrily, standing between their cribs. "You know the song, right?"

I nod tiredly.

"Okay, here goes nothing," she yawns, and counts off her fingers from five. I swallow and begin singing just as she does.

The few lyrics don't have any effect on the twins, but as Leah and I escalate towards the chorus and attempt at harmonizing, the crying reduces to sniffles and occasional whines. Leah's a hell of a lot better singer than I am, so they gravitate towards her voice more.

Jacob's mouth is occupied by his fingers and drool now instead of cries and screaming. He's paying close attention to us dance and sing around him and his sister's cribs. I make a stupid face; he cocks his head to the side with a smile and laughs.

It's_ working._

Teigan's tears continue to flow down her puffy cheeks like raindrops from a storm cloud, but there's no thunder. Leah leans over in her crib and allows her to let the singing soothe her. Teigan's tiny hands, which are probably the size of my nose, reach upward to latch in between Mommy's thick strands of hair.

Effortless smiles begin to make their way on both of our faces as their tears of despair turn to claps and distracted glances.

One step for the twins, one giant step for us. We've finally cracked the code by looking victory in its face and singing Disney songs. I start to get into it, already hearing the guitar and drums of the song. We sing louder.

Jacob lets out the first giggle and begins bouncing in his crib, making it squeak. Tee takes her time letting the song get to her—she may not be giggling and jumping about in joy, but she's quiet and that's the goal.

We've reached the end of the song and fully grabbed both of their attentions. I inhale a deep breath and release the energy through yodeling and banging my chest with my fists, imitating Tarzan's well-known battle cry at the end of the movie. My voice strains and cracks towards the end but instead of getting frightened by the outburst, both of them are in a fit of giggles, clapping at our performance. The laughing isn't as loud and annoying as the crying so we've made progress.

The toothy grin Leah has on her face is a passionate one as she lifts herself up out of the crib and rests her head upon my shoulder. The twins get comfortable in their cribs and make more happy sounds for a while, snuggling a stuffed animal.

We wait in the chair as the sounds die gradually and turn to soft breathing and eventual snores. Their tiny limbs quit grasping and reaching for air to settle on their stomachs and sides. Carefully and quietly, we check both cribs to see that they're both nodding off to sleep with their eyes half closed. Leah turns on their mobiles and tiptoes to turn the nursery light out on her way out the door. I follow with a great big smile, happy I can finally get my sleep again.

The bathroom light is on when I shut the bedroom door behind me. The faucet is running, so I poke my head in to see what Leah's doing, though it's much of anything, really. She's hunched over onto the counter with her hands holding her head up as she stares into the mirror, not blinking.

The bags under her eyes tell the story of her exhaustion, as does the reddening. Her frown is the only expression she can produce without effort.

I shouldn't be complaining so much when she's done this before all by herself. Back then, there was no taking turns or getting comfort. I sympathize and put my hand over her back. Her hundred-and-eight-point-nine degrees of skin radiate onto mine, giving me goosebumps of warmth.

"Let's get to bed," I suggest and bend down to kiss her head. She cracks a slight smile, but it doesn't last. I feel bad.

I turn the faucet off, and the water she has clogged up swirls down the drain when I remove the plug.

"I'm sorry I've been so mean," I apologize, for my behavior over the last month. This is supposed to be a happy time for us, so we shouldn't be as vicious as we have been.

She barely reacts at first, but the slightest nod causes her red eyes to water and pour outward.

The twin's tears I can handle, but when Leah cries, it feels like—as stated many times before—the sharpest of knives twisting in my side. They are light tears and a few sniffles, but I still feel guilty about just about everything. She hides her face within her hands and shakes. I give her a minute before taking her forearm in my hand and leading her to the bed. I flick the light out and watch her get between the sheets. Standing over her, I pull the comforter over her arms, covering her tribal tattoo.

I climb in on the other side and attempt to come in closer to her, but she declines, assuming I want to do more than sleep. Not even trying to plead my innocent case, I lay my head on my pillow and I'm out within seconds.

* * *

May twelfth arrives fairly soon. I got a part of Leah's Mother's Day gift done yesterday, and it still kinda stings, but her reaction is sure to be worth it.

But waiting for her to wake up is the frustrating part. She's never been a breakfast-in-bed, cheesy, romantic person, so instead of doing that, I just lay here and stare at her, hoping she'll like the first part of her gift.

She looks so peaceful when she sleeps.

Leah exhales in my face, giving me a whiff of her morning breath. I cringe and sit up, laughing as she aimlessly claws outward and scratches my leg. She moans in her sleep, gripping my thigh unknowingly and placing her head there. My fingers involuntarily touch her hair.

Bronx strolls into the room in between stretching and yawning. His tags jingle and I hope they'd wake up Leah, but she continues to snore. The tiny dog successfully hops upon the bed and curls up beside Teigan and Jacob as they try to crawl about the mattress, but the confines of my legs stop them. Jacob gets frustrated and hits my knees to get passed but I don't budge. His small features turn all their energy to pouting and at first he threatens to cry, but Teigan's tumbling body distracts him.

Wow, they're cute. And they're mine.

Jacob watches Teigan closely with his huge dark eyes as she does some baby gang signs with her fingers. It's amusing and it's keeping him highly occupied. Bronx watches the two interact with me. Tee pats his head a few times and lets out an odd burp-giggle mixture, resulting in a few drops of drool dripping from her toothless mouth. Jacob laughs at her struggle to talk, while I bring her to my chest and wipe her mouth with the edge of my t-shirt since I don't feel like getting up to get a baby wipe.

Teigan looks embarrassed, but I kiss her head to assure her the mess is okay. We take a long and undisturbed look into each other's eyes, blinking occasionally.

"Hi, Tee- Tee," I greet her, gripping her protectively in my arms, but my nose scrunches at the nickname. "Do you like that name? Tee-Tee?"

In the reach for my face, her un-filed nails claw my nose, and the sting is almost immediate. I yelp, but she just continues to touch about my face, scratching more skin in the process. I'm taken so aback that I actually set her down next to Jacob to avoid further assault, even though I know she didn't mean it.

Leah turns over twice, burying her face in my leg.

Since Alejandra got Baby Doll, the twins need special nicknames as well. I did like Tee for short, but there needs to be some spark. JJ is pretty generic for Jacob Jr., and barely anyone calls him Axel. Telling them apart is no issue but they barely have any definite personality at this stage in life, so they need a nickname to further identify themselves.

I can't conjure up any nicknames just by looking at them, so I save the idea for a rainy day. Leah rustles a little around her spot on the mattress, catching the twin's attention. I move my legs so they can wake her up. Bronx tries to follow, but I hold him back by his nub of a tail.

Tee makes it to Leah first and begins touching and gripping upon her face as soon as she gets the chance. Those claws of hers immediately begin trying to skin Leah pale, scratch after scratch, trying to figure out what the hell she's looking at. I laugh when Leah groans aloud and moves her head about to avoid the attack. Jacob takes this opportunity to pull at her strands of hair to put into his mouth. I remove the hair from his hands and shake my head at him to make him understand that's a bad idea.

Leah's groan turns to a sound of relief as she finally sits up and meets eyes with Teigan first. The baby's extensive stare and giant pupils startle her at first, but after recognizing her seconds later, a chapped smile crosses her face as she wipes her eyes of sleep. Leah yawns and sits upward slowly, making contact with me now and keeping her smile.

I haven't seen her _this_ happy in a while. A grin of my own begins to form on my face.

"Morning," she greets me, laying her head on my shoulder as she watches the twins play with each other back in between my legs.

"Happy Mother's Day," I say.

"_It's Mother's Day_?"

I nod my head.

"I completely forgot. Damn, I didn't even get Sue anything."

"You have a good excuse to have forgotten," I justify, nodding towards the little ones, who are attempting a game of patty-cake, but failing miserably and just putting their fingers in their mouths.

"How are my babies this morning, huh?" Leah makes her voice go babyish and leans towards them for a proper greeting that doesn't involve hair-pulling. The twins smile and laugh when she makes a few silly faces and raspberrys their huge cheeks.

"You guys were just waiting for me to wake up?" she wonders.

"Mhm," I reply.

"Well, aren't you sweet?" She pokes their stomachs, making a goofy sound as she does. They seem entertained, so they play along and extend each of their fingers out, too. She kisses them and turns to me while still poking their chests and stomachs. "Where's Doll?"

"Still asleep," I answer, petting Bronx as he lays in a ball in my lap.

"Why didn't you wake her?"

I shrug. "She should catch up on her sleep."

Leah kisses their cheeks a few more times. "When're we visiting Sarah's grave?"

It's a tradition my dad, my sisters, and I have had every Mother's Day since her passing back in the early nineties. Leah's gone with me for the past two years, only taking Doll one of those times.

"Whatever time is good for my dad," I answer and check the digital clock. It's eight, right on the dot. "I gotta call him."

She nods to show she understands, trying to hide the sadness written on her face. Sarah's death still saddens her for obvious reasons, but I think she's perturbed mainly because my mom always wanted Leah and I to be together, even as kids. Sarah knew of imprinting, but she didn't like it any more than Leah does because it's just "animalistic branding" or even "slavery." Her words, not mine.

My mom would've been the first to hear about our engagement. It's still pretty upsetting that she didn't even get to see us become a couple as she intended. In a way, she knows, but it's not definite. I think she'd be proud of us.

To cheer us both up, I nudge Leah's shoulder to get her attention.

"Hmm?" she hums.

"Do you wanna see your gift?"

She looks confused. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"It's more for me than you actually."

She raises her eyebrows then scrunches them. "How?"

I tug at the shoulders of my t-shirt and pull it over my head. Perplexed, she watches me toss the shirt in the hamper and lift my left arm up to reveal what's on my side.

Her gasp is an automatic reaction as she covers her mouth at her name tattooed vertically across my side. She doesn't look away for a second as she runs her hands over the fairly large ink across the left side of my torso. The stinging dies under her touch but it's still there.

"Jacob," she gasps again happily. "When the hell did you get _this _done?"

"It took a few days to do, so—"

"Where was I?"

"Home."

"How did you—?"

"Ancient Chinese secret," I tell her. It's what my mom used to tell me when my curiosity peaked.

"Well, it looks _really good,_" she compliments, and begins snickering. "I'll bet this hurt like a bitch. I want one."

"You don't have to."

"Naw, I wanna match. By the time this marriage is over, till death do us part, we're gonna be tatted freaks."

"True, true." We still have to get Tee and Jacob's names on us somewhere.

Leah's full concentration is on my torso as she inspects the tattoo with great fascination. Each finger laces and caresses over my skin gently, tracing each letter with great wonder, like she's never seen a tattoo this large before. Sue's gonna think it's stupid and maybe I'll regret it fifty years from now—no, I probably won't—but I didn't mind having 'Leah Anna' printed across my side for the rest of my life. The tattoos are a reminder of anything along with our vows hanging over top of the headboard. When times get rough, we just look at each other and literally see what's worth fighting for. I'm a very large man, so that's a lot of space to ink up. We have _a lot_ worth fighting for.

All it takes for us to get up and out of bed was for one of the twins to begin crying and whining to tell us they're hungry. While Leah whips her magnificent milking tits out, I take the time to clean up the mess in the living room from playing with their toys and go to the nursery to pick out their outfits for the day. It's then after checking in on Doll and making breakfast does Leah suggest something.

"Let's get the twins' names tattooed today," she says cheerfully, eyes wide with excitement and adventure. I make sure my expression is as unamusing as possible as I chew my piece of bacon. I just spent the last three damn days in a tattoo shop getting her suspiciously long and painful name across my side.

The silence between us is filled with a cartoon's theme song as it projects from the living room to the kitchen. One of the twins laughs aloud.

Leah's making an offer I can't refuse. "Please?"

She's right. At this rate, we could set the record for oldest married couple with the most tattoos. I blink at her.

"_Pwease_?" she pouts and uses her baby voice on me, but I'm clearly not wearing a bib or sucking milk for nourishment from anyone's boobs.

My answer should be obvious by now. "Can't you just get the second part of your gift and call it a day?"

"But that's for later," she counters.

"How 'bout you get it done today and I'll get mine done some other time?"

She frowns. "I'd rather get them done together."

"Same," I agree. "You can wait a few weeks to get another tattoo right?"

She nods, disappointed. Between the both of us, we have nine tattoos, which seems like enough for now. Right now, tattoos are to be saved for a rainy day.

"Don't look so sad," I demand of her. "You still get your other gift, so your day's not totally ruined."

She smiles at me and shrugs off the tattoo thing for now. "Fine, I'll wait," she says to my pleasure. The gift I have in store for her tonight should be enough to make her forget about getting some tattoos.

* * *

"Hey, Mom," I exhale, staring down at the plot in the ground.

_Sarah Wilde Black,_ it reads.

"It's been twenty-one years, huh?"

_1956-1992._

"Still feels like I just lost you yesterday, though." I crouch down to be closer so she can hear me. The escalating breeze whistles through the forest and trees surrounding the graveyard. My bones don't shiver, despite my lack of a jacket. _Thanks, wolf genes._

I blink a few times, hoping there would be tears to fight back, but there are none. "Sorry I haven't been visiting as often as I used to. I've been a bit busy and tired lately." I intake the smell of the flowers my sisters just set down. They smell so fresh.

"You probably already know this, but I married Leah a while ago. A year, to be specific, but it feels like ten. I gave her your ring, by the way. That's okay, isn't it?"

A faint memory of Sarah's warm smile flashes in my mind. I take it as a yes.

"We didn't wait that long to have more kids. Speaking of, we had some babies a minute ago. Two to be specific._ Twins._ I know, right? Twins!"

There's a long pause between us.

"Just like you," I continue. "So now, there are three of them—two girls and a boy. Just like me, Rach, and Becca."

I look upward and behind me to see my sisters leaning on my dad's car doors, talking to Leah as both of them each hold one of my twins. Doll, the fear clear on her face, clings to Leah with both hands. I turn back around.

"So, um, yeah," I sigh, blinking slowly. "Like I said, I'm sorry I haven't been stopping by. I'll be by more often."

She lies there.

"Anyway, Happy Mother's Day. I love you, Sarah. I miss you a whole lot. Leah does, too. I really wish you could meet Doll, but she's a bit scared right now."

Sarah understands.

"Oh, and the twins. They'd adore you. Then again, who doesn't?"

The plaque is mocking to look at.

"_Didn't,_" I change my tense and roll my eyes. The wind picks up from a breeze to full blown swooshes, rustling trees and random fallen flower petals about the atmosphere. The scene's kinda beautiful.

"Well, I'm gonna get going now. Is that alright?"

Pollen floats throughout the air and someone behind me sneezes. Allergies, I conclude, and then pop back up to my feet.

"Happy Mother's Day again. I love you, Mom."

**A/N So yeah. . .yesterday was my birthday. Whoop whoop! AND YUS FUCKING IRON MAN 3 COMES OUT TODAY HOLLA.**


	17. The Twins

**A/N Walk up in Fanfiction. net like what up, I got another chapter. **

It's been two months now since the twins were born. Kids' shackles are being let loose from school and the sun is shining its brightest, showing summertime is on its way. It was just a year ago that Leah and I were discussing more kids.

Unfortunately, it's time for me to go back to work. My "maternity" leave has been up for weeks now and Royce is kinda peeved—not because I haven't been into work, but because I got my wife pregnant before he could.

Cartoons don't keep the twins' attention for long until they begin whining and fussing to be carried around. I replace my ten minutes of breakfast to bounce and sing with Teigan in my arms while Leah takes Jacob. Even as we're playing our parenting alter egos of Tarzan and Jane, singing at the top of our lungs, their crying doesn't end.

Well, there goes _that _ lullaby.

Even being twenty minutes late can't make me leave them without figuring out why they're fussing. Leah has to thoroughly convince me to get going, swearing she can handle them.

Eh, it's Monday morning—time for work and hate my life for the next few hours or so.

Royce is actually amused when I come into the garage, all smiles and shit. I get a few congrats and pats on the back for my newest additions to the family, and even though the gestures are nice, it makes me miss them. I'd much rather be at home, chilling on the chair in the nursery watching the twins sleep, instead of getting greasy under the hood.

Shit, I used to live for this kinda thing. I never thought I'd get tired of the sweet purr of a just-finished engine or the smell of new oil.

I don't have as much paper work stocked up as I thought I would. Royce took care of most of my stuff since he's got a huge crush on Leah, and I'm damn skippy and happy when I get all my assigned engines and motors finished earlier than usual.

My shift, however, doesn't end for another hour, and I haven't even taken my lunch break. A grin crawls onto my face when I exit the garage to take a ride to Sue's. She's always a nice person to pass the day with; even through the drama and idiocy, she's a highly forgiving person.

My fingers drum against the steering wheel as I cruise through the La Push on the familiar route to my mother-in-law's house. June is definitely close—the way the fluffy clouds coast the sky with the sun is warming my skin even further. A sunny day in La Push is rare, yet we still wear our shorts and tank tops with no problems in the pouring rain.

The Rabbit seems to slow itself down and turn itself off when we pull up to Sue's. I kill the engine and get out the driver's seat to hop up her front steps. The front door is open, so I just stroll through the unlocked screen door. Sue's gotta be more careful; any lunatic could just get in but this old lunatic just did.

I glance around and for a moment and call out Sue's name. I can hear the television going upstairs, so someone must be home.

"Sue!" I call again, finally hearing the wooden creak of the stairs. I turn in that direction, hoping to see Sue in all her motherly glory, but it's a shock to see her son instead.

"Seth," I say as an instant reaction. I haven't seen this motherfucker in months and he looks terrible. His grease-ridden hair has grown back to around his ears as well as his beard. It's not furry yet, but it's certainly not a five o'clock shadow.

He looks like he needs a week's worth of sleep and a nice hot shower. Along with that, he needs a smile. It's easy to see who's taking their little separation better than the other. It's like he hasn't left this house since Thanksgiving.

His brows fly upward. "What're you doing here?"

I swallow and look my former best friend up and down with sympathy even though I know he doesn't need it.

"Is Sue around?"

He shakes his head and the annoyance is written in perfect ink on his face. "No."

"Oh. Well, where is she?"

"Why do you need to know?" he questions, and takes another step down the stairs.

_So I can be more of a son to her than you are_. "'Cause hanging with her is how I usually spend my lunch breaks."

Seth sneers and finishes his way down and off the stairs. I expect Nessie to be right behind him like a lost puppy, but she's not. I follow him into the kitchen.

"Well, you mind telling me where she is?"

"Charlie's." he answers, head in the fridge. "Anything else?" I don't know if I should be angry or just continue to feel sympathy, but instead of leaving and keeping my cool, I have a whole interrogation ready.

"Actually yeah," I reply, and he stands up from the fridge. He looks caught off guard. He should be.

"What the fuck else do you have to say?" He slams the door shut.

I take a seat at the counter. "I get that you're still angry and you hate my guts; that's understandable."

He grits his teeth and leans against the fridge. "And?"

I spit the truth to him as calmly as possible. "Whether you like it or not, your sister's my wife and I know you've had your head up your ass all this time, but it's pretty damn selfish of you to not even have the decency to visit your own sister in the hospital a couple months ago."

He cringes.

"You seemed so happy when we told you," I continue, "but it's funny how you didn't call or visit once to see them."

He rolls his eyes. "I've been busy."

"Smoking weed and crying over Nessie don't really qualify as 'busy.'" I use air quotes to emphasize, knowing I've hit his soft spot.

He knows I'm right so his salty expression is expected. "It's not even like that."

"Then what _is_ it like? Leah misses you, and we find it pretty fucked up how you haven't even seen your niece and nephew yet."

"Okay, first off, _fuck you_, Jacob. I've had a lot on my mind lately so before you judge, mind your own goddamn business," he growls, standing away from the fridge and making his voice go as husky as it allows.

"Seth—"

"Secondly, you don't know the struggle."

"The struggle?" I repeat.

"You have no fucking idea what it's like to have the love of your life to just leave you without any rhyme or reason as to what you did wrong." He slams his fist down onto the counter fiercely, shaking the utensils and sink.

"Excuse me?" I ask.

His statement is stupid enough to actually make me laugh in disbelief. I get up from my seat to leave.

"Leaving 'cause you can't take the truth?" he challenges.

He doesn't gather what he's said, though, so I give him a little reminding. "The truth is that me and your sister's relationship is stronger that you and Nessie's could _ever_ be." I chuckle at him, hoping to intimidate him. I don't mean to hurt his feelings but it's time for a wake up call.

"Bullshit," he enunciates perfectly.

"You've gone from this good guy into some depressed and desperate slob who spends his life feeling sorry for himself 'cause no one else will. Fuck _me_? _Fuck you._ No wonder Nessie left your ass."

He seems shocked; I don't know why.

"She'll come back," he spits out as I barge through the front room to the screen door, "and as far as _your_ family goes, you can fucking forget about me ever coming to see the twins. I meant what I fucking said, motherfucker!" he screeches after me, but I don't pay him any mind because I've already had too stressful of a day. That is the most we've talked in the past year, so I find that highly successful.

I'm in the Rabbit, riding throughout La Push, trying to figure out if I'm angry or relieved. I want to punch him so badly. Knocking Seth out would beat going back to the garage. I arrive back expecting some complaints from Royce, but he brushes me off. I finally clock out, ready to eat, watch Sesame Street, and take a nap with one of my twins.

I'm caught off my complete guard when I unlock the front door and stride into my seemingly quiet house. Instead of the sounds of crying and educational cartoons on the television, I'm met with heavy and familiar hip-hop bass coming from the TV's speakers.

I set my keys on the kitchen counter as I make my way to the family room, where the sound is coming from. The song playing is catchy and highly recognizable, so I hum along as I greet Leah with a kiss as she sits upon the couch, arms crossed, staring at the twins as they play with their various toys in peace.

It shouldn't seem out of the norm, but their unusual serenity, Leah's look of irritation, and the blaring hip-hop raise a few questions.

_". . .Your grammy, your aunty, your mommy, your mammy. I'll take those flannel zebra jammies secondhand and rock that mutha-fucka—"_

A confused look is exchanged between Leah and I as the twins crawl incredibly slow towards me for a greeting, too. I crouch low to sit Indian-style before them.

"Any reason as to why you're listening to this?" I wonder, taking Tee into my lap while Jacob happily grins, barely handing me a blue building block that doesn't even fit in his palm.

Leah sighs and uncrosses her arms. I take in her vomit- and saliva-free apparel along with her brushed hair. She looked the exact opposite this morning; she looks like she had a nice nap earlier.

"Shortly after you left," she explains, bored, her eyes never leaving the twins, "I put on some cartoons for them and while they were crying their little heads off, the phone rang. I got up to answer it and accidentally switched the channel and ended up on the music channels—the hip-hop/rap station, to be specific. Long story short, they stopped crying and I've been listening to this crap all day."

"Hip-hop, huh? Aw, Daddy's got some little gangsters, huh?" I baby my voice just like Leah and Doll do as I kiss their tiny fingers. "Are my little thugs gonna pop some tags?"

Leah laughs and finally blinks. "You should've seen us have our little dance party earlier."

"Did you guys dance with Mommy today?" I poke their stomachs, eliciting giggles and outstretched fingers trying to poke my nose. "I wish I would've been here to see that."

"Those are definitely our kids 'cause these little ones can get down," she jokes and gets on our level to play as well.

"I'm guessing Doll's not home from school yet," I ponder, glancing at the time on the TV screen. It's almost three.

"Actually, they had a two hour early dismissal today, so she came home first and went to Carson's. She should be home soon," she informs me. Jacob stares intensely at her for a moment before cracking a smile and reaching for her hair.

She hands him a toy instead, and then groans when the songs ends and a different one begins. I give her a confused look and read the screen to check the title.

_". . .It's going down, fade to Blackstreet. The homies got RB collab' creations, bump like acne. . ."_

"What's wrong?" I ask Leah. "You don't like this song?" She should, considering she nearly broke her back twerking to it back in high school.

"No, I do," she answers, frustrated, and puts her hands around her ears to block the sound. "It's just that this is, like, the fourth time this station has played this song. It's getting annoying now."

It's funny how that's so because this particular song used to remind me of Leah back in the day, when I was only ten years old. As I got older and the meaning of the song was further explained, it made me like her and the song even more. By that time, she was still with Sam and Bella Swan was the last thing on my mind.

Ah, those were the days.

"Shawty, get down, good Lord. Baby got 'em open all over town—" I hum to myself, but she stops me.

"Jacob, don't encourage it," she pleads, but the twins' smiles tell me otherwise.

"They like it, though."

She watches their expressions and her face softens as their toothless grins get broader with each word. I continue to hum, and eventually go into the full rap because listening to this song for hours on end in my room as a young boy trying to figure out what the fuck a "diggity" is isn't about to go to waste.

Leah joins me in the middle of the first verse and mumbles over a few lyrics, but the twins don't care because they're too busy clapping off rhythm and throwing their legs about. The fact that Leah's such a good singer makes up for it.

Right in the middle of the song, the sound of our front door opening distracts us both and we look toward the front room.

"Hey, Dad." Doll waves as she puts her house key on the dining room table. I turn to get a look at her. She's sporting her usual with the cheeky side grin, natural hair worn down and over her shoulders, wearing her one of her favorite t-shirts. Damn, I must be shrinking because she's one tall-ass eight-year-old. And did she just call me _Dad_ and not _Daddy_?

I cringe. "Hey, beautiful. How're you?"

"Good."

I nod, expecting her to join us, but she heads out to the kitchen instead, for a snack probably. Leah must've been watching me analyze her because she's assuring as she rubs my forearm.

"She's still our baby," she promises while Teigan tries climbing into her lap with a toy when the song fades to an end.

It's been two years, I guess.

Staring at Tee and Jacob, I find myself imagining how Doll would've been like as a baby. What did she look like?

Leah, sensing my deep wonder, gives me a sincere smile and comes closer towards me, walking on her knees with Tee by her side. Once in my vicinity, she meets her lips to mine softly and makes herself comfortable in between my legs.

I kiss her passionately, careful to keep my tongue in my mouth. She presses into me and releases slowly, letting our lips linger over the others, enjoying the long lost and rare intimacy.

This is the closest we've been in weeks.

"What?" I ask, further examining her gorgeous eyes and seeing Doll's hidden identity.

She bites her lip shyly. "You just have really pretty eyes."

"Oh. Well, so do you." No one's ever told me that before.

She stares longer and instead of being awkward, I enjoy this and stare back. I've almost forgot how good she smells and how pretty her smile is.

Having babies makes me so sentimental. I don't know if I like feeling this tender.

I press my lips towards the skin on her nose and guide myself downward to her lips. She maneuvers and massages her lips upon mine, making my heart pump faster as if this is the first time I've kissed anybody.

Well, this is the first time we kissed like this in weeks. It feels good. It's familiar.

She removes herself and places a few fingers over my mouth to block me when I wanna dip in for more.

"What?"

She nods her head in the direction towards the twins, who are paying no attention to what we're doing because they're too concerned with their building blocks.

I smirk. "They don't know what we're doing."

She returns the smirk with a playful eye roll and sighs before leaning upward again and kissing me multiple times on my nose and cheeks. I catch her lips in the process and taste her chapstick.

Leah goes weak when I bring her closer and rub her lower back to warm her. I miss this.

I let her lips go for a moment so she can breathe again. Her expression is flustered through her reddening her cheeks. I don't know how much cuter she could get.

The staring is interrupted by the sharp and highly painful sting of Tee scratching my face, a habit she's gotta quit. I suck my teeth and whine.

"Tee, _why_?" I complain and wait for her to answer, but she just cocks her head to the side, trying to recall what she's done wrong. Her bright brown eyes stare back just as her mother's just were into mine. At two months, it's still challenging as to which of us the twins looks most like.

Their eyes are a mixture actually. They have my color, but Leah's saturation. They match their skin tone perfectly. They're light like they've been diluted. They're Sarah's.

Their skin is the same way. They have Leah's complexion but their hair was kinda weird. It's a little nappy just like Sue, Seth, and Leah's used to be, but instead of it being jet black like Leah's or dark brown like mine, it's a light brown. Like cookie dough without the chocolate chips or peanut butter. It's fuzz now but as the twins get older, it'll smoothen itself out.

They're all around cute babies. Of course they are; _they're mine._

The deep fascination with their appearance quickly fades when Jacob begins with the tears because he needs to be changed and Tee follows his lead.

The peace was nice while it lasted.

* * *

The number of fucks I give about Leah's "weight gain" is equivalent to the amount of hair I have on my chest.

Yeah, _that much._

She stands here before me, covering herself and expecting a shallow and superficial reaction out of me, but that's not the case. She's my wife so why should I care?

Our six weeks are up. In fact, they've been up four weeks. After this evening, my libido has returned so attempting my best sexy boy band lip bite to entice her, she approaches the edge of the bed in just her boy shorts that she swears are hanging by a thread. I obviously notice the difference in how she fits in her clothes, but it's not like she went from Thigh Gap Thelma to a complete porker. Her curves and lines are still there even with her thighs, ass, and chest being a tad bigger. That stomach won't blow up for much, though.

And if the weight thing isn't enough, her scars destroy her emotionally. It's plain to see she's tired of being angry about what happened. I am, too.

I push myself off the bed to close the space between us. She grows nervous when my hands pry her arms off her breasts, but I give her a reassuring look, telling her she can trust me.

Her arms go to her sides and I glance at her up and down in satisfaction. She closes her eyes so I lean in to leave a warm kiss on her forehead. She shivers, anyway, but I keep calm, steady and patient as my lips descend passed her mouth and to her jaw. When I reach her throat, she finally exhales in relief.

My hands wander and explore downward as well, removing her boy shorts in the process. She steps out of them once they hit the floor, bringing herself closer to me. I'll bet my grin is more devilish than innocent.

Both of us, now naked, take a quick second to appreciate the closeness and sensuality of simply kissing in the dead of night.

Once our quick second is over, she's clinging to my skin and pushing me onto our mattress.

She's back.

**A/N Thanks guys. :) Just review, favor, and follow. Love you guys immensely. **


	18. Her Scars

**A/N So in case you guys haven't heard, I've been nominated for the 2013 Fanfiction Awards hosted by one of my favorite authors and loyal readers on here, AshleyMocha12. S/O to her. *sniffles* It would mean the motherfucking world to me if you guys could please please please please please please please _please _****go to the link provided in my bio and vote for me. **

**"Baby Doll" has been nominated for Best Romance One Shot/ Multi-chapter, ****"The Queens has been nominated for Best All-Around Fic, and I have been nominated for Best All Around Author. Just gimme a second while I cry a little. **

**As said before, PLEASE PLEASE _PLEASE VOTE FOR ME,_ cus I'm thirsty and I didn't win Homecoming Queen and it feels good to even be nominated. Link for voting is in my bio so PLEASE DON'T LET ME DOWN. Love you guys with a passion. You know the usual, review, favor and follow. **

The last day of school for Doll is always the happiest. She passes onto third grade, thank goodness. She should be in fourth, but her age and the birthday cutoff date for the Tribal school is tricky.

"The dance team?" I repeat her, putting the folded clothes into Doll's closet.

She nods eagerly. "I've wanted to join for a while now. The school sponsors it so you don't have to pay for much."

"What happened to trying out for soccer?" I envision her doing more sports than performance arts.

She shrugs. "I don't like it as much as football."

I shut her closet doors and take a seat next to her on the bed. "You sure you wanna do this?" I ask with full interest.

Her head can't nod any faster. "I just wanna try it for a year to see if I like it."

Doll's not one to quit anything, regardless of how hard it is. She's usually very diligent with taking on new projects. "Okay," I agree. "You've got me, but gimme some details and I'll talk to Mommy first."

Her white teeth flash me happily. "Thank you," she says and plays with the ends of her hair.

Hearing Leah coo the twins to sleep in the next room remind me of what I've been wanting to ask Doll. "How are you dealing with all this?" I ask subtly, hoping she knows what I mean.

"With what?"

My thumb points towards the wall. "_Them. _ The twins. Like, how's the whole big sister thing?"

Her face drops and her smile fades. "It's fine," she lies.

"Doll."

"It is!"

I blink at her. Her tiny arms fold over one another nervously.

"Tell me the truth."

"It doesn't matter how I feel," she growls under her breath, placing her folded arms upon her knees. "They'll still be here."

"Quit the attitude and just tell me," I say.

"They're annoying," she mumbles with a side-eye.

"They're just _babies._"

"It's like you guys have forgotten all about _me _ just to take care of _them_."

"_They're just babies_," I repeat. "They can't do everything for themselves and they need attention just like you did when you were a baby."

"How would you know when you weren't even there?" she grumbles under her breath.

"Hey!" I shout defensively. "What did I say about the attitude?"

Doll ignores the rhetorical question and continues. "No, Dad. Really, though. It's not fair."

"You're going on nine years old this year. Do you really think you need someone to feed you or clean up after your messes?"

Her two pink lips stay shut.

"Answer me."

"_No."_

"What makes it so unfair?"

"I don't get to see either of you two and how you make me make my own dinner. Then no one's able to help me with my homework."

She's got a point. Fixing the TV dinners, nearly blowing up the microwave, and trying to figure her homework out by herself are a bit unfair. But it's summer now so it shouldn't matter.

"As much as I'd love to help, Doll, your mom needs some help, too. She brought you back here because she wanted help, right? That's why I'm here. You wouldn't want her to go through this alone again, would you?"

Without thinking about it, she shakes her head. "You told me there was gonna be one. You lied. There'r two."

"I'm still as shocked as you are," I assure her. 'There's nothing I can do about that. There was never anything I could do about it."

Exhaling a sigh of acceptance, she pouts and uncrosses her arms. "Where do babies even come from?"

My eyes widen.

This attempted conversation didn't go well two years ago and it won't go well now.

"Uh. . ." I start and try to put together analogies and metaphors to answer her question. I learned them from the internet, which isn't the best source. "When two people, male and female, love each other very much like the way your mother and I do, they, um…"

That's not an entirely truthful answer since any and everyone can have a baby with whomever and they don't have to give two shits about each other.

"When you find a boy you really, _really_ love and wanna spend the rest of your life with," I continue, "you'll start to feel some.._.feelings_, physically and emotionally."

She nods to show she comprehends.

"And when you're old enough, and ideally when you're married, you and your husband will. . . act upon these feelings and make a baby."

"But _how_?" she wonders.

A huge knot swallows down my throat with a gulp. I open my mouth to speak, but she interrupts thankfully.

"Can I make a baby with Carson?" she asks. "I really, _really_ love him."

I gulp again. "Love him like how?"

"Like he's my best friend."

The answer is yes, but technically no. "You could but not now."

"Why?"

"You're much too young and it's not physically possible."

"You still haven't told me_ how._"

I don't want to either. "Well, you know boys and girls are different."

"Of course."

"You do?" I reply, shocked.

"Boys have snip, snails, and puppy dog tails while girls have sugar, spice and everything nice."

That's the answer I expected. This would be frustrating if she weren't so cute. "True, true," I agree, "but boys, as nice as they seem, are only after one thing."

She waits.

"Sex."

The word tastes so sour leaving my mouth in front of my child. It feels even worse with this childish, playful, and innocent environment.

She cocks her head to the side. "What's that?"

"It's how babies are, uh, ya know, made," I answer. "It all goes back to those physical feelings I was telling you about earlier."

The nervousness and confusion is beginning to show on her face. Now I'm not alone.

"It's perfectly normal for when a girl and a guy get really excited around and about each other and they have these urges to remove each other's clothes and ugh, make love," I go on. "Love being a big part of it. Love whoever you want but please, marry him before having kids. I beg of you."

She nods and faces towards the carpet. "You and Mom weren't married before you had me. Am I a mistake?"

I shake my head. "Leah just made a mistake leaving, that's all. It's not you, okay?"

"Would you rather have had me after you guys got married?"

That's a good question. "It would've made some things a little bit easier, but I don't think so."

My answer makes her smile grow bigger. She has such pretty teeth for someone who's never had braces.

Leah's head pokes itself in as she looks at the two of us. "What're you two doing?"

"I asked him where babies come from!" Doll answers, far too excited.

Leah's eyes widen just as mine do. "I'm just gonna go check the mail, then," she replies, and brings her head back out. Her figure passes by the door and we hear her go downstairs.

"Why won't you tell me how people make love?" Doll urges. "Is it really that bad? Carson and I love each other a lot, so shouldn't we have a baby by now?"

To hear these words come from my eight-year-old's mouth makes me every little bit of uncomfortable. This is only the beginning. Little does she know that there's more to sex than a dude putting his ding-a-ling deep within a girl's cooch and a baby popping out of there nine months later. I go with the analogies and metaphors again.

"Let's say you and Carson are at a barbecue, okay?"

"What's that gotta do with—"

"Silence, Danial-san," I snap and quiet her by putting my hand out. She puts her hands up in defense.

"Okay, so you're at a barbecue," I continue. "Let's just say Carson is a hot dog, okay? You're a bun."

She nods and her hair falls over her shoulder in the process.

"And let's just say Carson's been on the grill for a while and he's ready to get inside a bun. He's excited and aroused to be put into a nice, creamy, moist bun."

Doll has to be smart enough to read through these lines. Her vague stare of disbelief shows me she doesn't comprehend so I stupidly begin using my fingers to simulate.

"And let's say you, a bun, are ready for a hot dog to be put into her 'cause you're ready and spread open." I swallow some vomit I'm ready to puke up.

"And you guys start having those physical feelings again. Carson's hot dog wants to be inside your bun and it's your choice, not his, to decide when you want that to happen. Because having a hot dog inside a bun feels good—like, it feels _really freakin' good_—but it's important that you let the right hot dog in your bun."

The moment of silence between us isn't very reassuring.

"The twins and I were made from you and Mom 'making love'"—she uses air quotes—"using hot dogs and buns?"

_No, you were made from a night of weed smoking in my bedroom, intense munchies, and a whole lot of nudity. The twins are a result of me being an eager beaver, ready to make Leah fat as soon as possible._

"In a way, that's a little bit true," I reply. Hot dogs and buns were a part of our intense munchies.

"Why can't you just tell me the truth?"

I sigh. "Because you're not old enough for the truth."

"When is old enough?"

"Middle school."

She squints her eyes at me in aggravation and before she can respond, Leah enters with today's mail in her hands. As she flips through each envelope, she hums the hip-hop song playing in the twins' nursery.

She stops on one envelope after reading the sender's address, flips it over, and uses her nail to rip through the glued flap.

"Hmm," she mumbles, beginning to smile now as she reads what looks like an invitation.

"What?"

"Look," she instructs me, handing me the paper.

_You are cordially invited to the ceremonial unification_ _of_ _Charles Swan and Sue Clearwater._

"Well, hot damn," I say, seeing why she's all smiles now. "'Bout time."

"What?" Doll peaks over my shoulder to read the invitation. "Those are big words," she decides after staring at it for few seconds.

"It says we're cordially invited to the ceremonial unification of Charlie and Sue," I reply. "They're finally getting married."

"When?"

I check. "Next month."

"So soon," Leah comments. "You'd think she would've invited me to help plan it."

"You could barely plan our wedding without ripping someone's balls off," I observe.

"Balls?" Doll questions, but I just pat her head.

"Middle school," I answer.

Leah just rolls her eyes. "I guess."

"Maybe she didn't wanna bother you. We just had twins."

A shrug is added onto Leah's additional eye roll. She shouldn't be too upset about this. It's not like it was personal.

Before she says much else, Bronx bounces in, his tags jingling with each step. He hops upon Doll's bed beside her and stares at us all for a minute before shutting his eyes. I occupy my hands by petting him and giving the invite back. She sourly takes it and rummages through the remainder of the mail.

"Anyway, how'd the sex talk go?" Leah asks, switching her weight from back and forth.

"He said I have to wait till I go to middle school," Doll says.

Leah glances at me, I mouth_ I don't know, _ and she just laughs to herself. "Alright, then."

"So," I begin, eager to get off the subject. "What's for lunch? I'm starved."

"Hot dogs," she answers.

My left brow lifts suggestively.

"What? They're organic."

Doll, in a panic, dashes off the bed and runs towards the bathroom in a hurry. The door slams shut and the sounds of a struggling cough erupt from the other side.

Bronx's head is at attention.

Leah looks between the door and I in great confusion. "The… the hell is—"

I put my head in my hands. Hot dogs and buns wasn't the best analogy because now I feel sick.

"Just no more hot dogs, okay?"

* * *

The constant buzz of the ink machine agitates my ears to no end, but it's not as bad as the needle piercing and brushing just above the rim of my tender skin.

Leah watches closely as Jacob's name unfolds within my bicep under the tattoo ink.

"How are your twins, anyway?" The elder asks one of us as he concentrates. Leah's eyes don't leave my arm as she answers.

"They're good," she replies, fist under her chin as she watches. "Have any of the pack members been in lately?"

"Paul and Jared came in to get their tribal tattoos redone. Other than them, no not really," he answers and I wince, feeling the needle physically trace in each letter. Leah didn't flinch once when she got both hers done. Must be an Alpha thing. In all honesty, this chick is a bad-ass.

"Where'd the Axel part come from?" The elder wonders. I shut my eyes and ignore the buzzing.

"Nowhere special. We just randomly thought of it," Leah answers. He asks another question, but I ignore her answer, getting lost somewhere else.

That whole tatted up thing Leah mentioned before just might come true. It's cute, though. It's like our thing. We should've started doing this years ago.

I pick up bits and pieces of their conversation halfway because I'm really not paying much attention. He says something about his tattoos and Leah replies with some kinda mess and—

"Aye, Ness! I'll get someone with you in a minute!" another employee at his station shouts across the tattoo parlor, making my eyes pop right open and towards the entrance. Leah does the same.

Surely so, Nessie's at the front counter, tapping her manicured fingers against the glass, glancing around and patiently awaiting some assistance. I scrunch my eyes together. What kinda business does Nessie have in La Push's only tattoo shop on Father's Day?

And she's alone?

Leah must be thinking the same, but instead of staring like a dumbstruck idiot, she turns back around and continues her conversation with the elder.

I, on the other hand, am putting together a story.

There's Seth—pathetic, sloppy, desperate Seth who is wasting his young life away in his bedroom and for reasons I can't imagine. When the last time he shifted is a mystery.

And then there's Nessie, who stands here looking her finest with a huge smile and some life, talking to a tattoo artist and showing him a picture. I set a mental picture of the two side by side and it's a no-brainer.

I sigh. I really miss the old Seth.

My skin begins to heat up more than usual. If I had just kept it in my fucking pants—

"Jacob," Leah pokes my side for the umpteenth time. "You're done."

I switch my position around to look at my bicep and see the twins' names are printed beautiful across my skin as they are on Leah's.

"Oh. Thanks," I mumble to the elder as he wipes the excess ink from my arm.

"No problem, Jake."

He rises from his stool to the front register and Leah follows. I stall behind, grabbing my t-shirt from off the counter.

"Hey, Nessie," Leah startles her with the greeting.

Her smile disappears while Leah's just gets wider. "Leah. Hi."

"Getting some ink done?" she asks subtly while I put my shirt on over my head, watching them.

The teenager nods. "Y-yup."

"Cool," she replies casually, now showing off her tattoo. "Just got this done. Cute, huh?"

"Very."

The elder rings up our tattoos and the cash register does a dinging sound, making Nessie jump.

"How's Seth?" Leah wonders.

The redhead scratches her scalp. "I wouldn't know nowadays." At that, her eyes shy away from Leah to anywhere else. They land on me.

Nessie waves shyly. I give her a side-smile and wave back. Leah carries the chat forward, making me and Nessie extremely nervous. The need to escape is going off like a car alarm on her face. She's truly scared of my wife.

Later that day, when Leah and I are home and all four of our children are sound asleep for naps, I call her out on it while we discard the plastic on our arms.

"That chick isn't scared of me," she insists, throwing my plastic away into the trash bin.

"I beg to differ," I protest, modeling my arm in the bathroom mirror.

"It's not like I was gonna go wolf on her in the middle of the tattoo shop." She chuckles, copying my actions.

"Yeah," I reply, "but she doesn't know that. You know you scare the shit outta her." My focus drifts from one tattoo to the other.

"Good then." Her laughter subsides. "That's what she gets for messing with my man."

That all-too-well-known, sexy pout of hers forms on her face, making me turn all mushy and get her from behind.

"Aw," I baby my voice involuntarily and hold her close to me. She's resistant to cling to me but eventually does.

"Jake, I'm sorry. I know it's in the past and all—"

I silence her with my lips, caressing the skin between her neck and shoulders. Her sentence fades into a mere moan. We stare at our reflections in the mirror for a minute till she shuts her eyes and drags my arms above her torso. The goosebumps upon her neck descend to her shoulders and arms.

"Don't look at them, please," she begs when I try to draw our arms back.

"They're nothing to be ashamed of."

"They're ugly."

"Stop saying that."

"I look like a science experiment gone wrong."

My lips hover above her ear. "You look like a tigress who earned her stripes."

That statement doesn't stop her from covering them back up. "How do you even still find me attractive?"

"It's not just about the sex, Leah. It's a lot deeper than that."

She finally opens her eyes to see us embracing each other. The way our fingers intertwine and lock between the others is a sign of need. We need each other.

"Do the scars really not bother you?"

I deliberate a truthful answer. "They bother me in reasons different than why they bother you." _Why lie?_

"How do they bother you?" she asks.

I kiss her face. "I couldn't be there to prevent them."

Her eyes revert from her reflection to my face. "Are you okay?"

I will be. "Are you?"

Her answer is delayed. "Yeah."

Leah breaks free from my grasp and reaches for my shirt and hers on the counter. She tosses me mine, I catch it, and by the time I pull mine over my head, she has hers on.

"Let's go see Harry," she decides, exiting the bathroom.

* * *

The man's been dead for seven or so years but Harry Clearwater, to this day, makes me hella nervous. I don't even recall dating Leah before he died, but maybe that's just why he made me nervous. He's somewhere in the stratosphere, watching over his kids, shaking his head at Seth and begging the Lord Almighty to strike me with lightning. I mean, hasn't he been watching this whole time? Whether I'm little Jacob Black from down the street or some guy she met in California, I'm still a guy who has done his fair share of wrong to his daughter.

Dead or not, she's still Daddy's baby girl.

I gulp.

Leah sits Indian style before his grave, having a nice chat with him just as I did my mother. I watch from afar, waiting for my phone to buzz with a text from Rachel on how the twins are.

No Seth, I notice. Not surprising. Not even on Father's Day? I get it's not as favorable as Mother's Day, but his dad was amazing. It's not like his dad left or he was a complete asshole. The only person to have an excuse, really, was Sam but even then he could be a dad by now.

Billy's doing pretty well. The twins and I got him some gift cards this year since you can only get so much fishing equipment for one man.

I'm a dad; _holy shit_. There's a whole day dedicated towards dudes like me! I got fucking cards and everything. I never thought I'd be brought so much joy by a sheet of construction paper folded in half with glitter and drawings all over it. And a bowl of an organic knockoff Cinnamon Toast Crunch as breakfast in bed made the day start off pretty nicely, too.

I like this feeling.

Leaning on the side of the Rabbit, I continue to stare at Leah sitting in the grass. It looks like she's nodding and showing the tombstone her ring. Her careless chuckle can be heard from here. I go all mushy yet again.

After a moment or two, she turns around, flashes me a smile, and then waves erratically.

I wave back calmly and she faces the tomb again. What could those two be talking about?

**A/N GO TO THE LINK AND VOTE YO ASSES OFF. **


	19. Until The End Of Time (RECAP)

**A/N Voting ends June 1st, I believe, so go to my bio and _VOTE LADY BLACKWATER._ I love y'all graciously, S/O to my beta, MusicTwilightLove, and you know the regular: Review, favor, follow.**

Two years after attending Bella and Edward's vow renewal and I still have no idea how to tie a tie. I'm a mechanic, not a businessman. But this time, Leah's not painting her nails and Doll has gone from her infamous blue floral dress to something a little subtler and less ugly.

"How have you not learned to tie one of these yet?" Leah wonders.

I shrug and flashback to how her hands struggled around my huge neck two years ago.

"How'd you get it on for our wedding?" she asks.

"Clip on."

She laughs. "Smooth."

"Thanks."

The same silence strains out between us again. This time we're not so fucking awkward with each other. Her coy grin is kinda cute.

"What?" I ask as she loops the tie about.

"This seems a little familiar," she answers, smoothing out the creases in my tie and button-down. "I remember this all too clearly.

"Yeah." I grab her hand and kiss her fingers. "Look at us now."

The scratchy cry of either Tee or Jacob interrupts our moment, and without even thinking anything of it or complaining, we simultaneously head for the nursery. Doll is in her closet trying on shoes when we pass her door.

The twins are squirming in their cribs as they normally would be while we try to figure out what they want. A diaper change so soon? They ate, like, ten minutes ago.

The normal motherly instinct would be to pick the baby up first to see what's on the up and up, but since we're not normal, the first thing she does is turn the stereo—intended for Alice's lullaby CDs—on. The bass hits hard through the speakers while we go into routine of rapping the lyrics to our Thug Angels, a nickname that is a variation from my "little gangsters" comment a while back.

After setting them up in sitting positions so they can see Leah and I, we alternate between each crib, rapping the song flawlessly in sync. They're such odd babies for enjoying this, but then again, nothing's ever been normal about this family so why try to change now?

A few verses later, they've calmed down enough to be put into their formal matching onesies and have their hair combed and brushed. Leah can handle the nappiness whereas m not that patient when it comes to beauty matters.

"You guys ready to go see Gramma and Charlie?" I sing-song to them in the dual stroller. Arms crossed and pouting, Doll stares at them as she leans back on the love seat. I poke her chubby cheek, but she just rolls her eyes.

"They're just babies," I remind her softly. That doesn't mean much to her. Instead of retaliating, she makes a kissy sound with her lips to summon Bronx. He hops down the stairs cheerfully, tags jingling as he reaches for her lap.

I check the watch—Father's Day gift courtesy of Leah—on my wrist and can already tell that we're gonna be late. What the fuck else could she be doing?

"Mrs. Black," I call up the stairs, hoping to get her to hurry along.

"Babe, just gimme a sec," she answers. "I'm halfway done."

"Halfway done what?" She better not be straightening her hair because that shit takes_ forever._

"Don't worry about it. Just wait."

"You two are gonna learn at an early age that Mommy's a bit of a diva," I whisper, but she hears regardless.

"Jacob, just be patient."

After checking my watch again and deciding for sure we're definitely gonna be late, I lounge and aim for a nap. "Go see what she's doing, please," I instruct my oldest. She gets up slowly and stomps up the stairs.

"Quit that stomping!" I shout and her footsteps lighten in the slightest but her attitude doesn't.

Rocking the stroller, I begin humming to my twins so they'll drift off. I really hope they don't explode in the middle of the service because if they do, I doubt the priest would appreciate us blasting hip-hop in his church.

And Leah and I entering a church? We'd burst into fucking flames as soon as we come through the threshold since we're wolves in sheepskin before God or whoever makes all this shit work. There's a reason we weren't wed in a church.

"You guys know you saved me from going to hell, right?" I ask more to myself than the twins. Jacob's eyes are half-closed, drooping to sleep. "Daddy's done some pretty fucked up stuff in the past before you two got here."

Leah doesn't like me cussing around our Thug Angels, but they can't understand nor will they remember, so there's no point not to.

"Whatever you do," I continue, looking to Jacob, who's now halfway to sleep. "Do not ever be like me. _Ever._ I'm not the best at this relationship shit, but I think I'm a pretty good dad, right?"

Jacob's already nodded off, which explains his silence. Tee exhales before trying to sit forward and reach for my face with a smile on hers. I'm careful leaning in, cautious of those nails. She grabs my index finger and attempts eating it. The eagerness is clear in her brown eyes as she trying to break through my calloused skin, but is unsuccessful. I rub Jake's tummy softly and retrieve my finger back to do the same to hers. The _Tarzan_ song is next to hum out my mouth now.

Doll comes back down the stairs grimacing, arms still folded.

"What's she doing?" I ask.

"Straightening her hair," she answers, annoyed.

I groan and poke my head further into the stroller. "We're gonna be here a while, okay?" I warn the twins, watching Doll go into the kitchen. "I hope you guys don't mind the wait."

_"Baaahhh- ta-aah_," Tee fumbles with her words, digging her nails into my cheek. Leah needs to file these claws down.

"Can you say 'daddy?' Dah-_dee_," I enunciate the words to her.

Instead of trying, she just keeps her mouth in a circle and then stretches her lips to a smile and makes the noise again.

"_Daddy_. Say _Daddy_."

"_Un huh. Ha-aah_!" she coos and claps after releasing my face.

"No," I giggle, poking her cheek. "_Daddy. _Say it. Dah-dee."

She laughs more.

"Call me Daddy."

"_Daddy_."

My head jerks up and all I see is _legs_. "Hubba hubba," I mutter under my breath. "Holy sh—"

"Language," she stops me, but there's honestly no other way to rephrase her. Her hair does look nice as do her exposed legs and toes. Seems like the weight gain is no longer an issue because she's flaunting her thighs with pride before me. The satin looks classy against her skin.

"You're gonna wear bright red to a church?" I ask.

"This is one of the few dresses in my closet that slims me out nicely. Would _you_ believe I just had twins?" She does a model-like twirl on the stairs and sashays down the last few to sexily show off the rest of the dress. The heels accentuate her legs while the dress itself actually succeeds in making her waist appear smaller.

"No," I answer, distracted.

Once she's done showing off and I'm done staring at her ass, we're off to the races to get to the church on the less ghetto, extravagant side of La Push, which is where both of our parents grew up. Arriving at the church itself wouldn't have been so nerve wracking if there wasn't a giant stone statue of Jesus Christ at the entrance with his arms spread outward as if to welcome us.

"You ready?" I ask my family. Leah shrugs, pretending not to wanna stare at our Lord and Savior as she applies lip gloss in the passenger mirror. Doll makes an unreasoning sound while the Thugs just lay there in their car seats in silence.

We're already fifteen minutes late, so I take that as a yes and undo my seat belt.

"Alright, then. Let's do this."

* * *

With Sue and Charlie pushing their early fifties, one would expect their reception to be boring as hell and just slow. It is, in a way, but because Sue is in denial of her age; she's just as every bit of a drunk, hot mess as she usually is at these types of functions so it's good entertainment. Overall, it was a beautiful and touching wedding. It made Leah cry, obviously, and I'm happy for them two. Now Leah and Bella can be the sisters they were always intended to be.

It's only three in the afternoon but someone thought it'd be smart to let the alcohol flow freely already. Sue has been off herself ever since she said, "I do." And of course, Charlie sits back as usual with his beer and watches his new wife act a fool because what the fuck else can he do? He's not a babysitter and she's a grown woman, so if she wants to dance off beat and do her version of twerking on guests then that's fine, I guess. She's definitely not Renee, but maybe that's why Charlie was so giddy.

Sue being drunk is the only excitement either of us can handle. We don't need any obnoxious stereo or rowdy guests to awake the twins from their naps. A pretty reception outdoors has been put together in the hot-ass sun, but no one's complaining. Doll takes this opportunity outside to hang out with the packs and gets some much needed space.

This brings me back my own reception. I look down at my wedding band and Leah's as she leans against me, head on my shoulder. She's watching the twins nap with a straw to an apple juice box in between her lips.

I poke her arms and point to the juice. She directs it towards my face and I take some sips.

"Charlie seems happy," she points out as he watches her mother unkindly lean on Billy's wheelchair. I laugh at his expression.

"Ecstatic," I add on, looking in the stroller to watch the twins sleep as well. Leah and I stare them down silently, taking them in like a breath of air. I'm still finding it hard to believe it's been three months since we were awaiting their arrivals, worried and impatient that they wouldn't get here faster.

I just enjoy looking at them. They're hella cute, obviously, and as each day passes and features become more prominent, it's not too hard to see who has what of whose. Tee looks more like me in the nose and Jacob's eyes are shaped like Leah's, really feminine and dainty.

"So Doll was talking to me about the school's dance team," Leah begins as she wipes excess saliva leaving Tee's mouth. "Did she tell you about it?"

"Yeah, I told her I'd talk to you about it," I reply. "What do you think?"

"I'm fine with it as long as you are," she responds in between sips. "Did she tell you about—"

"Leah!"

I expect to look up at the sight of Quil or Paul or any of the other pack mates, but not this guy.

"_Seth,_" Leah responds in shock, finally looking up from the stroller. He approaches us from the right, where the cars are parked, grinning like he's the sappiest dude alive. The beard, scruff, and long hair are nowhere to be found while a baby face, suit, and a tie take their places.

"Gimme a hug," he orders of her once he's within our range. Leah, shocked, stands to meet him at his level and wraps her arms hesitantly around his torso. He hugs her, genuinely happy and smiling into her hair. Her grip eventually gets comfortable and she hugs back like brothers and sisters are supposed to.

It takes Seth a moment to let her go and take her in as she is. He hasn't seen her since his "visit" before going into labor.

I lean back and wait for him to greet me, which he probably won't.

"You look pretty," Seth tells her, rubbing her shoulders.

"You do, too," she responds. In the midst of their silence, he awkwardly glances my way.

"Hey, Jacob."

_Don't say "hey" to me like that. Like you were_ never_ my best friend or pack mate. Like we've _never_ confided in one another like biological brothers do or how we were each other's shoulder to cry on when Leah left. Don't "hey" me like I'm just some dude your sister married. I've known you since you were Jake and Tee's age so don't fucking "hey" me like I'm a stranger. I'm your brother._

"Hey," I respond through tight lips.

The exhale of relief Leah's been keeping in eases out smoothly as she weakly smiles at us both.

"I'm assuming these are the twins?" Seth addresses them, gesturing towards the twins with his hands.

At the mention of them, Leah instantly lights up and gets excited. "Yeah, you wanna meet them?"

"Of course."

I stifle a snicker and look in the opposing direction. As Leah picks one of them up to let Seth have a hold, I examine the crowd forming at the reception. The extravagant band is easy to listen to and some of the guests are dancing with each other. Bella's made it as has Edward. They're matching, which I guess is kinda cute. Scanning more, I see Doll being the center of attention around the guys, which is normal behavior, and once I do my internal judging of everyone here, someone catches my eye.

Sporting a new tatted infinity sign on her right shoulder, Nessie's sitting at a table by her lonesome and examining the space just as I am. She's looking good as usual and has that usual look of loss and wander on her face.

Let's do some math here, then. Seth is happy and Ness looks miserable. _Hmm. . ._

It's when she's offered a dance that a resistant smile cracks finally upon her face. She disappears onto the dance floor and the last I see of her is the satin red dress she's wearing that's scarily identical to Leah's. I turn away, disinterested, to now see Seth's holding Tee, looking like a pink bundle of cotton in her onesie as she's being held in her uncle's arms. Leah's being extra careful that he's holding her correctly and the panic is clear on her face. I steal her juice box and suck on the straw a little, but all I get is a few drops and some air.

Jacob's finally woken up, so I undo the strap in his stroller seat and sit him in my lap. I bounce my knee lightly and support him at his sides with my hands.

Tee finds displeasure in being held in Seth's arms soon because she begins the whining first, and since they have telepathy, Jacob feels as though it's his job to assist her. Seth takes it to personal offence but Leah assures him. It's getting late for them and I'm ready to leave, anyway.

Once we've said our goodbyes and congrats to the couple of the hour, my family and I take our unit back to our side of La Push where everyone has no choice but to live within the woods.

Tee and Jacob's choir of cries don't stop even for hip-hop. We know they're hungry, and trying to make them nourish the baby formula versus breast milk is the challenge. They squirm about in their playpen, fussing, whining, and attempting to reach down Leah's shirt whenever she got low enough. They don't take to their bottles well so eventually, after what felt like weeks of torture, Leah removes her shirt and sits inside the colorful play pen with them and lets them occupy her breasts.

I watch for a minute while listening to Doll put a TV dinner in the microwave and slamming it shut. Leah makes sure of supporting them carefully before looking up at me.

"This is throwing them off their nursing schedule," she tells me, nodding nonchalantly.

"They'll be throwing food off the high chair in no time," I joke, and she actually laughs. The microwave hums from the kitchen.

Leah's lengthy hair creeps over her shoulder, brushing Tee's head as she sucks the milk. Lee tries to remove the hair from her peripherals but is unsuccessful. Wanting to touch her, I put the hair behind her ear. She doesn't expect the contact, so her cheeks turn red when my hand lingers on her face.

"D-do you mind putting my hair up for me?" she asks, continuing to blush.

"You got a hair tie?"

She checks both her wrists but shrugs. "Go get one from upstairs."

"Be right back."

I step out of the playpen walls to go upstairs. Our bedroom is dark even with the windows still up so I turn on the bedside light on. She has to have one lying around here.

The first stop is the bathroom, where all her little cosmetics and shit are, but all I come up with is bobby pins and hair clips. I don't wanna touch her stuff for various reasons, so I quit the bathroom and check the bedroom. As I'm rummaging through the nightstand drawer, I do find a pink hair tie but I also find something else.

A video camera. Confused, I pick the camcorder up and inspect it to see if I recognize it, which I finally do after realizing this is our honeymoon camera.

I forgot I brought this with us.

Worming the hair tie onto my wrist, I press the power button and wait for the camera to turn on. Once it's loaded, the screen is now a visual of my feet, ready to record.

"Jacob," Leah calls innocently.

"Coming!" I shout. "Ju-just gimme a sec."

Pressing a few buttons leads me to the video selection and a selection of thumbnails pop up. Each video is a few hours long and usually I would have little interest, but this is our camera. I go exploring back into the unorganized drawer to find an auxiliary cord. Once I do, I connect one end to the camcorder and the other to the side of the TV. My sisters and I used to do this with our home videos all the time. After turning the TV on and switching the component to the camera, I select the first thumbnail dated March 11, 2012.

It takes a second for the video to transfer onto the screen but once it does, I raise the volume and have a seat on the edge of our bed.

The first thing I see is Rebecca, she looks like she's in a dressing room of some sort, facing the camera towards her and then turning it around. On the other end is actually a half-naked Leah in just her lingerie and wedding garter. Her veil flies about as she turns her head swiftly to avoid being filmed.

"_Oh, c'mon, Lee_," my sister insists over the chatter in the background. I recognize Bella and Alice's voices.

Leah persists to cover her face but seen through the mirror. Her smile is as big as ever.

"_You can't even be recorded for your own wedding day_?"

Leah stays sitting Indian-style before the full length mirror, applying her mascara. "_Whose camera is that_?"

"_Jacob's. I found it in his dressing room_," Rebecca confesses. I roll my eyes.

The frame is zoomed in, making Leah seem closer. She ignores the camera as best as possible while putting finishing touches on her dramatic makeup.

"_Speaking of my brother_," Rachel calls from off camera, making Becca turn the lens towards her and zoom outward. "How'_s it feel knowing you're going to be part of the Black family in a few short minutes?"_

Leah screws the top back onto her mascara and shrugs, shielding a grin. "_I don't know. I never thought I'd marry anyone… especially Jacob. It's a good feeling actually. He just makes me feel good."_

_"Him or his dick_?" Kim interrupts from across the room, subtly making them all gasp and turn in her direction. She shrugs and zips her own dress.

"_Did you really have to go there? That's my baby brother,_" Becca pleads with disgust from behind the camera.

Kim fixes her curls around to frame her face perfectly. "_And? Leah_?" she continues.

_"That's a little personal, huh?"_

_"Personal to you or him?_"

She's in deep thought about it. I'm glad my penis is such a hot topic.

"_His dick is mine. It's attached to him but it belongs to me_," Leah explains simply, turning towards her bridal party.

I wanna laugh not because it's not true, but it's funny how she can remember some shit I said to her when I was nineteen.

"_That's deep, man,_" Bella comments off camera while the frame zooms in again.

"_And also kinda gross,_" Rachel inputs, but Kim declines claiming it's cute. A hardcore discussion about the possession of my dick breaks out in which I fast forward. Last thing I hear before moving on is the questioning of my size.

The next scene is the moments of embarrassment I'm standing at the altar by myself awaiting Leah. Whoever is filming now is surrounded by guests who are muttering about me being jilted or something, but all I focus on is how the devastation is unfolding on my face. I'm fidgety and nervous staring around and sweating for a non-judging face.

Not wanting to relive the moment, I fast forward from Sue assuring me to my exit of the altar. I stop a few times in between to try and find out who's holding the camera.

"_Ya think she'll come out_?" I recognize my dad's voice as the camera pans the altar, the annoyed pastor, her bridesmaids and my groomsmen.

"_She better. I didn't lose fifteen pounds to fit into this dress for her not to,_" I hear Quil's mom—ugh, I love her—mutter off to the side.

I chuckle and continue to press upon the fast forward button. Once sped up to the both of us on the altar, I stop it.

She's standing there before me, staring into my eyes like she's mesmerized by me. She looks cool, calm, and collected all the while I'm fighting not to burst into a billion strips of confetti and guts. Doll's behind me—much shorter than she is now—caressing Bronx in her arms, smiling at the two of us.

I've already removed Leah's veil, and the quality of the camera is pretty good because every drop of sweat on my forehead is visible as I mouth that she looks beautiful. Sue, off camera, is weeping happily and Mrs. Ateara is attempting to calm her down.

I skim through what the pastor is saying until it's time for vows. That's when I hear light footsteps get louder as they come up the stairs.

The wooden floor creaks as the footsteps go down the hall for a couple minutes and get closer to the bedroom.

"I thought you were gonna put up my—" Leah begins, but I put my index to my lips ecstatically to silence her. She follows my gaze to the television before taking a seat next to me.

"What're you watching?"

"Our wedding."

That surely shuts her up while she leans on my shoulder, watching as well.

I've already began reading off the paper, and to my surprise, Leah is saying the same words I am as she sits here beside me. I guess looking at them over our bed everyday plants into memory at some point. I don't even think I have that paper anymore.

"At my weakest, you make me feel strong. At my lowest, you make me feel high," I'm saying as my fingers shake with the paper between them. Leah's face is nearly wet, along with her bridal party's. My groomsmen are giving small smiles as if this isn't the most epic moment any of them have ever witnessed.

"_I promise to love, cherish, trust, honor, and be faithful to you, Leah Anna Clearwater, from now and till the end of time._"

The tears don't cease for anything as they stream down to her face. She tries fighting them but it's useless. Present day Leah puts her hand on my thigh in comfort.

"Till the end of time," she repeats. "You're good."

"I try."

Leah within the video is reciting her own vows now, pausing in some places to catch herself. I find it adorable. She's stumbling over her words looking deeply into my eyes as she does. The connection we have within the video is still here between us today; the feelings haven't subsided or faded. I enjoy this feeling, too.

She continues to rub my thigh in comfort, making me hum.

After her vows and the awkward moment of silence for people to speak now or forever hold their peace, we finally step towards each other to kiss and an eruption of cheers flows throughout the room. Our tongues loop around the others to seal our marriage forever.

"Aw," she says at us. "We're _so_ cute."

"I know," I reply, fast forwarding to the reception. My dad's given the camera back to my sister now and she's gotten footage of everyone partying and having a good time.

Sneakily, she zooms in on us at the bridal table, kissing and being cute with each other. As she sits on my lap, I attempt to read our lips since the music is booming too loud. We kiss again and I slip something on my fingers into her mouth. She licks it off sensually before beginning to bounce in my lap.

Soon after, we're called for our first dance. At the time, I thought our dance looked pretty good, but watching us dance together on video now, I realize we looked fucking stupid. We started out fine but when the bass drops a few times, we get all freaky-deaky and uncoordinated. Our horniness can be detected even on camera.

Watching with me, Leah chuckles and covers her face. "Oh my goodness," she laughs and shakes her head. "Why didn't anyone tell me we looked that stupid?"

"It's not that bad," I lie and put my arm around her. She doesn't seem convinced and at this point, I don't wanna see much else so I continue to skip.

Stopping minutes later, we sit here and listen to all the things our guests had to say about us when Becca put the camera in their faces. Majority of them were nice and really sweet and some were pretty vulgar but that's to be expected.

"_Yo, my homie, Jacob_," Paul slurs, tipsy, as he tries to stand straight upon one of our pack members. The music is unbearably loud over the speakers so I turn the volume down.

"_Jacob is going to fuck her so hard. Oh my God! So fucking hard!_" he continues, getting drunken cheers of agreement and amusement.

"_Like he's gonna bend her over and eat her out like an expensive dinner!_" Quil adds, drink in hand. The camera rattles under their rowdiness so Becca backs away to avoid damaging it.

Leah continues to cover her face and laugh while I just sit here and blush at how accurate they were.

"She's gonna be screaming his name like, _Oh, Jacob! Jacob, harder! Ahh!_" Jared puts in, fondling his imaginary tits, but before they can finish making fun of us, Becca backs away with a laugh and heads to the other side of the reception area. She speaks with my dad, Sue, Charlie and even Carson, who nervously stares at Doll the whole time he's being recorded.

As if it's some sort of surprise, she finds Seth and Nessie at a table by themselves, being boring and excluded.

"_So, you guys have anything to say to Leah and Jacob on their marriage?_" she asks clearly. Nessie just smiles worriedly and shrugs.

"_Um, I'm really happy for them. They deserve this_," the teenager answers sweetly. Seth eyes the camera, smirks and looks around him slickly.

"_I gotta go talk to Leah_," he announces, stands from the table then exits the frame. Nessie watches him in disbelief and rolls her eyes. Leah does the same action and crosses her arms.

"_He's a little upset right now_," she concludes. "_But I really do wish Jake and Leah happiness. They look good together._"

"_They do, don't they_?" Becca asks.

"Damn right we do," Leah answers, looking over at me dreamily. I agree completely.

Fast forwarding more leads us to the end of the two hour recording. All that's left is a bunch of other nice things being said by a bunch of other family and tribe members.

"What's the next one?" she asks, as I shuffle through the other thumbnails.

My eyebrows raise high on my forehead. "The rest is our honeymoon."

The silence between us isn't awkward or odd.

"Oh," she replies. "D-do you wanna watch them?"

I'd rather reenact. "Do you want to?"

"Only if you do."

I'd like to see just how those four hours went down. Were they as amazing as I'd imagined, or was it just the weed?

Turning from the television, Leah sits there, legs crossed and controlling her panting. Her chest is heaving heavily so I just lick my lips and stand up.

"I'd like to, but wouldn't you rather _just do it_?" I ask bluntly.

Suddenly going shy, she looks to the ground and giggles. I lift her chin and silence her flustered laughs with a subtle kiss as I bend over to reach her. I close my eyes and let my lips to all the work. She responds positively and sighs like it's our first kiss and she's tasting my lips for the first time.

Halfway through this sweet seduction, we pull apart to catch much needed breaths as our lips hover over the other. That pout she does makes my pants begin to tighten, starting around the thighs and traveling for my crotch as are her hands.

I guide them perfectly, our lips never leaving each other's. Once my belt is undone and my dress pants are sliding off my waist, I blindly reach behind her and unhook her strapless with no effort. She's moaning at the feel of me touching her like this and I'm groaning because I'm hard as a damn rock. _Fuck_, she smells good.

My lips go from her lips and towards her cheeks and neck, sniffing every little bit of skin with great diligence. She's gasping with every motion of my tongue and teeth over the tender flesh of her neck.

"Jacob," she says breathlessly when I lift her and lay her on her back, further onto the mattress. "Jacob."

My growl is muffled in her collarbone and leading towards her chest. I'd rip the satin off, but I don't want her to be mad at me. Slickly, I kiss back upward and get the spaghetti dress strap in my teeth and guide it downward.

The sudden ring of a cell phone sounds off throughout the room, not stopping me but making her tense up.

"Jacob—"

"No, no, no," I object between kisses on her flesh. "Ignore it, please."

She tries for a moment but as the annoying ringing continues, throwing off my groove. I sit back upward, licking my lips. "Dammit, just answer it."

Leah props herself up on her elbows, wipes the side of her mouth with a finger, and reaches over to the nightstand, grabbing and answering her cell phone without even checking the caller ID.

"Hello?" she replies, annoyed but never taking her eyes off of me. I remove my button-down, toss it to the side, and then the wife beater is next to go.

"I left my phone at home. Why?" She sits up all the way now.

I move in to kiss her face but she pulls away.

"Wait, what's wrong? Why're you crying?" she asks, more concerned. Upon hearing that, I back away and sit before her. Her face scrunches in confusion then releases as the anxious and weeping female voice on the other side explains something to her.

"Okay, okay, hold on. Emily, just wait a sec—" She's cut off a few times as the crying gets louder. "Em, calm down. He's just angry right now. Just—"

She sits there rolling her eyes as her cousin continues to cry. After a moment or two, Leah sighs in relief and bites her lip.

"Just wait there," she says reassuringly. "Don't freak out, just—" She pauses and eyes me. I stare back, trying to figure out what she's about to say.

"Just sit tight. I'll be right over."

I was expecting that. Instead of groaning aloud to show my lack of sympathy, I turn back towards the television to begin playing my honeymoon. I need something to jack off to.

"Okay, I'll be right there," she promises and lets Emily reply before hanging up and putting her phone on the nightstand. Before playing the video, I break the silence.

"So, how are the Uleys?"

Jumping off the bed, she pokes me harshly with her big toe. "Don't be mean."

"I take it they're doing fine?" I scroll through the selection of videos to choose which scene I want to watch first.

She passes me to get to the dresser. "Sam's being a dick."

"That's not news."

She removes her dress to put a bra back on and replaces the ensemble with a pair of jean shorts and a tank top. "True, but he's being a erectile dysfunctional dick. He wants a divorce. He left."

My eyes shoot towards her now instead of the TV. "Huh?"

"They had a big fight apparently, and he just left." Leah sounds a little too calm to be giving me this kinda information. She digs in the closet for a second and grabs my slippers.

"A fight about?" I prompt.

"The bastard is being selfish and won't get her pregnant, so now I, being the forgiving angel of a cousin she perceives me to be, have to go over there, calm her ass down, and convince her bitch of a husband to quit being such a bitch."

I nod. "Sounds legit."

"I'm sorry, baby. It's just that—"

"You don't have to explain. She's your cousin. She's family," I tell to more myself than her. If Quil were in need, I guess I'd probably do the same thing. But this isn't the first time this has happened.

Noticing my great aggravation, she pecks my cheek dearly and her lips hover above my ear. "I'll be back before the twins wake up, alright?"

Her promise is pretty convincing so instead of worrying about last time, I grab her face in both hands and bring our lips together forcefully. She's caught off guard but doesn't reject it. After letting her go, she's red in the face.

"Hurry back," I warn her.

She nods. "I will. H-hand me my phone."

Without breaking the eye contact, I reach behind her, grab the device and put it in her palm. The flushed expression on her face resembles the same one she had on our wedding.

Not saying much else, she backs away towards the door, coyly grinning with her finger in her mouth. I watch her leave and listen to her wood creak under each plop down the stairs. The sound of the door shutting kinda breaks my heart a bit; I really wanted to fool around.

But when Emily calls, Leah must answer. It's just the way it is.

**A/N Lemme know if something's funky with this chapter because I got it back a little switched around and the format was wrong. Anyway, thanks for reading. Review, favor, follow. . .vote. ;)**


	20. She Sent Me To The Couch

**A/N Hey, I lied. VOTING END JULY 1ST, NOT JUNE 1ST. _BABY DOLL_ IS IN THE LEAD FOR BEST ROMANCE ONE SHOT/MULTI-CHAPER which is _AMAZING_, but please please please _please_ keep voting in all the categories we're nominated in. Keep _Baby Doll_ in the lead and continue reading. LOVE YOU, GUYS! **

I end up _not _jacking off. The twins _do_ actually wake before Leah arrives back, but instead of crying, they just poorly communicate with one another. Diaper changes and a roll around with Bronx later, they're in between my legs again, trying to sit straight within the confines that hold them upright. Instead of watching myself have sex with my wife on our flat screen, I'm fully engrossed in this episode of _Sesame Street_, their favorite show.

Leah's been gone for a good hour and a half now, and I try to sympathize with Emily's needs and wants, but what does Leah owe her? _Nothing._ So why Emily always comes to Leah for help is mindboggling. There's Kim, Rach, Becca, Sue, and even Bella for her to talk to, so why's Leah always at the top of her damn list? Shit, she can even talk to Seth!

Elmo does something funny and Tee makes a noise, one hand in her mouth and covered in drool, the other pointing at the screen.

"I know, Teigan. You see Elmo?" I agree with her, and point along with her. Jacob's chubby fingers and arms stay snug against his sides while he naps on my kneecap, mouth open as he breathes in and out. Tee puts both her hands in her mouth now before clapping them together, making noises to simulate laughter. I follow her brown-eyed gaze to the TV and laugh with her; this show is pretty nice.

"That is pretty funny huh, Tee-Tee?" I kiss her smooth cheeks, continuing to watch Elmo interact with Mr. Noodle. Turning her towards me, I ask, "You like Elmo?"

She doesn't answer but puts her slobbery index finger on my nose instead. I reface her back towards the television screen and let my calloused hands feel her delicate skin. She leans back into my lap but I still sit her up.

"My sisters—your aunts, Rachel and Rebecca—and I used to love_ Sesame Street _ when we were around you guy's age. I used to have an Elmo t-shirt and slippers. It was pretty ridiculous." I resume kissing her temple and cheeks. "You want a pair of Elmo slippers? Daddy'll buy you a pair."

Intrigued in the screen, she smacks my forearms with her slobbery hands. I don't mind it so I let her.

"I can't wait till you're able to talk. I have so much to tell you and him. Like I love you two_ so much_ and I've been waiting two years for this. Doll doesn't mean it when she says she doesn't like you guys. She just needs a little time to get used to it and quit being a brat. She starts the tribal school's dance team this week so I guess that should be cool. You listening to me, Tee?"

The baby is paying half attention to me as she puts her fingers back in her mouth. I reach to my side and grab a pacifier to replace them. Without a struggle, she takes the pacifier and goes back to smacking my legs.

"You look just like Leah did when she was a baby. Same wavy hair, pretty eyes, tan skin," I recall, mostly talking to myself. Jacob turns his head slightly over my knee and makes a noise in his sleep. Tee sucks on the pacifier, paying me little attention. I go on, anyway.

"I've been in love with her since I was, like, eleven years old, which is a long freakin' time, considering all we've been through."

Tee exhales and eases backwards a little more. The pacifier drops out her mouth.

"We didn't start dating 'til we were nineteen." I remember the day too perfectly. "During a puff puff pass bonfire on First Beach, your Uncle Paul pulled me to the side and asked if I was dating her. I didn't really know how to respond so I just said I was. Word kinda spread and I guess she just agreed."

Teigan's hands on my legs quit after the moment I realize she's nodding off. The closing credits to the show pop up on screen and the ending theme begins playing.

"Am I boring you?" I wonder.

"_Unn unn ahhh_," she replies, eyes half closed and performing a bow-like motion in my lap as she nods off.

I lift her to meet my face, which startles her, making her eyes pop right back open. As she hangs here before me like Simba in the beginning of _The Lion King_, I raspberry on her tiny toes which probably tickles, so she giggles cutely.

"Aw, my little Tee-Tee is ticklish," I observe, repeating the motion. "Mommy and Doll are ticklish, too."

I put her back down, glancing at Jacob, who isn't even slightly disturbed. I run a finger over the bottom of his foot to see if he's ticklish as well. He involuntarily jerks his foot away and exhales.

"What do you say, Tee? One more episode before Mommy gets home?" I decide, scrolling through the DVR for an episode I hadn't—_they_ hadn't—seen yet. Once the music starts, I lean back against the headboard.

Halfway through this episode, the sound of my Rabbit pulling into our driveway fills the neighborhood. I listen to Leah trot up the walkway and the steps, twist her key into the lock, and open the door. She shuts and locks it behind her, sets the keys on the glass table in the opening hallway and her footsteps near the bedroom.

"So, Em and Sam are—" She stops, stunned at the sight of the twins chilling in my lap. "They're up."

I nod tiredly and she swishes towards the edge of the bed to get Jacob in her arms. "They had you watching _Sesame Street_?"

"Don't let it fool you; they're still thugs."

She laughs and graciously holds Jacob. "Aw, look at Mommy's little boy." Creeping behind her, Bronx curiously circles her feet but she's careful to go around him. Leah watches some seconds of the show before checking the digital clock on the nightstand.

"Jake, it's passed their bedtime. They shouldn't be out so late."

"Could say the same about you," I mutter slickly under my breath. Her hair slings around when she swirls to stare at me.

"Excuse me?"

"I didn't say anything."

Her glare doesn't ease when I put the binkie back into Tee's mouth and carry her with one arm. Leah starts off down the hall for the nursery and I follow. I sneak a peek into Doll's room while passing. She's drawing as usual.

Leah kisses Jake's head before placing him in his crib and smoothing out his hair. I do a similar motion with Tee before turning on her mobile. Jacob squirms near his stuffed animal and resumes his sleep while Tee puts her hands back in her mouth and bows forward twice before plopping to sleep.

Leah leaves for our room before watching them doze off. I follow again and shut our door behind us.

"So how are Mr. and Mrs. Smith?" I ask, plopping onto the mattress, ready to watch the rest of the episode. Bronx jerks awake.

She smirks. "You're never gonna believe me."

"Try me," I test and pat the space beside me for her to lie down. Bronx inches towards the spot but I block him until Leah plops next to me.

"Well, what had happened is that while at the wedding today, she began crying because she saw us with twins," she begins, letting me adjust to the information. I nod.

"And since she's wanted a kid for forever now, she goes begging and pleading to Sam and they left early. Basically when they got home, they had a huge ass fight, she screamed she wanted a divorce, he was all like, 'Fine,' and he packed a bag and stormed out. She called me, like, twenty minutes later, thinking he would've come back by then."

I sit up. _You can divorce an imprint?_ "So then what?"

Leah plays with my fingers and sighs. "She was telling me about how she doesn't even think she loves him anymore. They've just become nice fucks to each other and that's it."

"Between an imprint?"

She nods, looking more annoyed than sad about the situation. "A few months ago, she gave him an ultimatum. Either he gives her a baby or she leaves. She's not pregnant, so that's why she and I are seeing a divorce lawyer next week."

Scrunching my brows, I pout. "Where is that dick anyway?"

"I don't know. Some husband, huh?"

My fingers graze upon her lower back as she cuddles closer into me. Neither of us talks for a moment until she finally exhales again.

"She said she's jealous of us," she admits.

"I'd be, too."

"This should be a prime example to the Elders that imprinting is bullshit."

"Eh, maybe not." A fair share of the other imprints have had their own disputes and differences. I doubt Emily and Sam would divorce because of this. I've been in Emily's position since Leah came back to La Push.

"Maybe not? What's that supposed to mean?"

Shrugging, I try to pay attention to the TV. "It doesn't seem that serious."

She sits up to look at me incredulously. "The douche packed a bag and left. That seems pretty serious to me. She's heartbroken."

"There's always something wrong with your cousin," I murmur, switching the TV off with the remote and rolling over to cuddle her closer to me. I thought she'd agree.

"Meaning?" she asks within the darkness of our room.

I didn't think it really needed any explanation. "Meaning she's always coming to you for help. Like, what the fuck?"

I feel her arms cross over her chest. "I'm her cousin. Who else is she gonna expect to—"

"There's Seth, Rachel, Rebecca, Kim, Sue… Fuck, even Bella." The answer comes out more aggravated than intended. "Why does she always come to _you_?"

"'Cause I happen to be there for my family," she growls, untying my arms around her to hop off the bed to get to the bathroom. I watch her sideways as she flicks the light on and stares at her reflection. The faucet is running within seconds as she drowns her washcloth.

_You wanna recap back to a year ago when you didn't leave the damn bed and you tried to drug yourself out?_ is what I want to say, but I'd rather keep it classy.

"But you always go to her when she calls like she's fucking Jacob and Tee's age instead of damn near thirty years old," I complain, annoyed, observing her closely as she pumps her liquid face wash from the bottle into her palm and then runs her hands under the faucet.

"Could say the same about you and Nessie," she remarks before beginning to scrub her face of dirt and makeup.

Grimacing, I fold my arms over my chest now. "That's not fair."

"The hell if it's not. If your little precious Renesmee is in trouble, you're off to the goddamn races going all over heaven and creation to find her. Am I right or am I right?"

Bronx detects the tense energy in the room, making him pull his ears back, bounce off the bed to wiggle the door open and down the hall. She rinses her face of suds.

"It's different and you know it," I growl, sitting upward to show authority.

"Why? Because some magical Native American folklore spirit told you you loved her, yet I'm the enemy for wanting to help my cousin instead of fucking you?" She pats her face dry and sneers.

"It's not even that, Leah. It's the principle of the situation."

"Oh, grow up."

I wanna drop it, but judging by the tingling heat in my ears and neck, I'm prepped to fight.

"I'm pretty sure she was the reason we had one of these fights last time, huh?" I remind her. "Some cousin. I'm in the hospital on the verge of death, and she still has the damn nerve. She only calls you 'cause she know she owes you the fucking world."

Her tight lips and muffled tone show just how angry she's about to be. She hides it by rubbing the moisturizer on her face and arms. "And why's that, smarty pants?"

"'Cause she's just as pathetic as Sam."

"She's still my cousin." She slams the lotion bottle on the counter once she's gotten her dose. "I can't help if she's hurting!" she finally yells.

"Exactly! _You _ can't help it! _You _ don't owe her shit! Why do you feed into her like this?"

"Because she's going through a hard time!"

"My dick was going through a hard time earlier, it didn't seem to be a problem," I mutter once again, but she hears me.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Jacob! All you do is talk and assume and _bleh bleh bleh_. . ."

The rest of what she says is being blurred out and censored as she roars at me, poking me in the chest as she does. Inflamed and very turned on, I plead my case over hers, so now we're screaming on top of each other. Her arms are going all about in gestures while I tower above her. Mentions of my scandal with Nessie are brought up just as her self-induced depression is. It's in the middle of it that I realize this is our first and official fight—like full on fight—as a married couple.

Before someone's feelings get severely hurt, she stops mid-insult. Her eyes widen as do her hands as they spread outward before her as if to stop time. I shut up as well.

"No, I'm not doing this with you." She shakes her head in disbelief, laughing distantly to herself as if she has a dark inside joke. One hand gestures towards the floor while the other takes a spot on her hip.

"You're sleeping on the couch tonight," she decides.

No. She. Didn't.

Did she really just send me to _the couch?_!

"I'm sleeping on this bed right here," I object, but before I can fall backwards on it, she's got me by my T-shirt collar and jerking me about like a rag doll towards the door. I take her tiny hands into mine and laugh in her face, but she doesn't find it funny.

"You really want me to sleep on the couch?" I ask.

Her piercing stare has the effect of boring through my skull. There are no smiles anywhere in her tone or expression.

Her voice is definitely not one of reason; it's the Alpha command. "Let my fucking hand go, go downstairs, and sleep on the couch like any other dog would."

Seeing she's not kidding, I release her hand and believably or not, I'm on the other side of the door with a whoosh of wind in my face from the door.

"Damnit," I curse myself. "Leah, baby," I begin, but I'm interrupted.

"The couch," she orders through a mouth of gritted teeth, I'll bet.

"Can I at least have a pillow or some—"

The sack of feathers for a pillow she used for her feet during her pregnancy along with one of our torn comforters rushes at my face like a fist. I catch the items in one hand and sigh again as the door whiffs my face again. Deciding it's not worth another fight, I take my pillow and comforter with me down the stairs and onto the sofa.

Now this feels like marriage. I just got sent to the couch! That shit is real?

Removing my shirt, I slide onto the piece of furniture reluctantly and without fail begin to sink. I twist and turn to get comfortable but have no luck, especially with this stupid pillow.

"Ugh, I'm Leah. I think just 'cause I have a vagina I can send Jacob to the couch, ugh," I mimic her, making my voice high and unlike hers. I scrunch my face and hands femininely as I do so.

"Ooh, I'm Leah. I'm Alpha and I don't like having sex with my husband 'cause boys are icky and I have better shit to do with my cousin! Jake only works nine fucking hours a day with a pervert of a boss who has an inappropriate crush on me so the least I could do is suck his dick every once in a while, right? Fucking wrong! _Ooooh!_" I imitate louder this time, doing jazz hands at the ceiling.

"Now I'm Emily, Leah's cousin. I'm almost thirty-something –years-old and I need my cousin to fix my marriage for me!" I use a different female voice now before returning to my normal one.

"And now I'm Jacob laying here on the couch, making a fool of myself, angry because Leah chose Emily over me. . ._again_."

The dark living room seems hollow this time of night. I don't mind it and I don't feel lonely. It's dark and really creepy but Leah stomping around upstairs is a reassuring factor.

The remote is sticking me in the thigh so I grab it from between the cushion and turn the TV on.

"'Least I still got _Sesame Street_," I mumble and search through the recordings. I think I make it through the theme song and a segment about the letter 'Q' before my eyes can't fight their own heaviness anymore.

* * *

Upon awakening, I expect the La Push's July sun streaming its light through the deck screen doors, casting all the specks of dust and air debris in its rays. Or maybe even the smell of someone cooking  
up breakfast.

But the scene is the same as when I drifted to sleep what feels like minutes ago, yet the TV is off and there's a furry surface in my face.

"Really, Bronx?" I mutter, ready to lift the tiny animal and toss him out of my face. The fur is potent and thick. Too thick to be fur. I sniff: it smells woodsy and coconut-ish. It's Leah's shampoo.

Jerking back slightly, I find my arms wrapped securely around a half-naked Leah who's sound asleep. At first I think I'm in the bedroom, but the sagginess of the couch tells me otherwise.

Squinting in confusion, I try to figure out how and when she got there. Her head is in the cranny between my neck and jaw, her breath softly brushing my chest.

"Lee?"

She rustles only a little.

"Leah."

"Jacob," she sighs coherently.

"How did you—?"

"I don't like sleeping alone," she answers, tightening her grip around me. "Shhhh."

"Wouldn't you rather go back upstairs?"

She snuggles in closer, not answering the question.

"So does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

Her head moves back and forth long ways against my chest. "Go back to sleep," she says.

Bringing her towards me, I kiss her head and wrap my arms tight around her torso. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Just sleep."

"You don't even wanna talk about it?" I insist, making her finally open her eyes. I glance downward; she blushes and her long lashes tickle my chin when she shuts her eyes again. I take it as a no, but instead of going back to sleep, she meets my lips to hers. Her breath is quite minty for what feels like two o' clock in the mirror.

She planned this, that's why.

I don't object and let her climb atop of me, kissing and nipping my skin like a mouse does a cracker. She does a majority of the groping and feeling upon my chest, sides, stomach and waistline. It tingles the way her foreign lips peck every piece of tan skin all the way down to the elastic of my boxers. I watch teasingly as her fingers fold over the edge of them and slowly tug downward, pass my thighs, knees, and eventually off my body completely. I could get into the vulgar, raunchy, glorious detail of this but instead, I'd rather lay here and watch her suck me off. I can't give two shits if she's still mad at me or not now; this shit feels too damn good.

Once I bust all kinds of nuts and such, it's my turn to pleasure her—my favorite part. My tongue flicks and licks in places unseen by no one else from between her thighs and everything in between. The helpless strands of hair on my head are trapped in her fist's wrath as she squeezes and tugs. I smile into her at the reaction and continue to drink like she's a fountain.

Normal people usually start and end on the couch. But since this is make-up sex between Leah and I and _nothing_ about those circumstances is near normal, we go from the couch to the floor to the dining room table and against a wall. How long we last is neither undetermined nor important because we both reach our primes regardless.

Afterward is usually really nice as well.

"Being away from you for six damn years kinda made me realize that sleeping alone, without you, just isn't my thing anymore," she explains, shyly caressing my arm and covering herself with the ratty comforter.

I nod, understanding. "How?"

"The first night that I slept alone in a strange bed by myself in California, I basically cried myself to sleep because I thought I'd never get to feel your arms around me when I sleep again. Sleeping with you is comfortable. You just make me feel safe."

My arms yearn to be around her in the tiniest bit when she says that. "I do? How did you finally get used to being by yourself for so long?"

Her eyes water within her erratic blinking. I rub her cheeks soothingly while she gets her response together.

"I made for damn sure Doll and I lived in a nice neighborhood, and we did. She grew up in Burbank, which was a pretty nice place for us, but a few towns over, there was this really bad neighborhood." She pauses, clears her throat, and drops her eyes.

"It was the type of violence that even us, growing in the 'ghetto' side of La Push, wouldn't be able to handle. It was way beyond this magical vampires versus werewolves shit. It was a tad more intense than this," she informs me. I don't wanna imagine Doll or Leah or anybody I love in that kinda environment. I cringe.

"All in all, I just feel safe and secure with you," she says. "Even when you were just downstairs, it didn't feel right. Yeah, I was mad but I just didn't feel that safe."

"Why do you feel safe with _me_, of all people?" She's had more accidents, injuries and heartbreak with me than I'll imagine she did in her six-year absence. "I can't even phase to protect you."

"But I can protect _you_," she corrects me. "You keep me safe, mentally. Everything is okay with you. Being gone made me realize that if I don't have you by my side, shit just isn't the same. I'd rip anyone apart for you," she promises.

That's a reassuring thought. "And being able to rip someone apart for me makes you feel safe?"

"Essentially. It's just a nice feeling." She inches towards my naked body with her own and eventually lands in my lap. I lean back and take her and the comforter with me.

"Just because Emily's marriage is falling apart doesn't mean mine has to," she says sweetly, kissing my chest. "I didn't wanna make it seem like I was choosing her over you."

"It's okay. I have my own insecurities, that's all."

Leah knows that better than anyone. Just like I know her better than she knows herself, it's the same way reversed. She reads me like a damn book.

"You wanna come back upstairs?" she invites, wiggling herself on me. I groan in pleasure, she laughs as she grabs my hand, and we escort ourselves up the stairs, clothes, raggedy comforter, and pillow forgotten.


	21. First Beach

**A/N I lied..._again_. Voting ends _June 15th_ so please vote them asses off. Oh, c'mon, I said please. **

Upon getting her acceptance letter to the Tribal school's dance team a week ago, Doll has taken vigorous charge of her new dance career, like buying her required leotard and tights with her birthday money. I'm pretty proud of her for taking such initiative. If only she could drive, then she could take herself to and from the school.

"When'd you say your competition is?" I ask, pulling up into the school's parking lot.

She rummages through her dance bag for the umpteenth time this car ride. "September third. You're coming, right?" She zips the bag closed.

"Of course," I promise, jokingly punching her shoulder. "What have you guys done so far?"

"Nothing much. Just a lot of ballet stuff and our instructor is teaching us how to do all these weird moves." Her voice trails off as she stares through the windshield at the school entrance.

"Is it fun so far?" I wonder. "Make any friends?"

She kinda hesitates. "I never really realized how annoying girls are."

I laugh heartily. "Annoying," I repeat.

"Well not _annoying_," she corrects herself. "Just really intense."

"How do you even know what that means?"

"Mom says it a lot, and I guess a lot of things are intense."

"How are they so intense?"

"Some of them have been in dance for a really long time. I'm not as good as them, it seems," she confides.

"Well, don't compare yourself to other girls. You might not dance as good as them but shit, you're probably prettier than them."

"It's not always about who's the prettiest, Dad," she replies, sighing heavily and sadly. That's a very insightful answer. I give her a sympathetic smile.

"They wouldn't have let you join if you couldn't dance," I remind her.

"It's only because I go here."

Various girls from around the county auditioned for a spot on the team. "It's not," I assure her, but she doesn't believe me. "How many girls are there, anyway?"

"Twenty girls and four boys."

_Boys?_ "Oh," I say in understanding.

"What?"

"Nothing," I swear, and check the time. "Time for you to get going now."

She unbuckles her seatbelt, leans over, and kisses my cheek. "Love you, Daddy," she rushes the words out as I promise to be back in time to pick her up. As she hops out the front seat, I watch her walk towards the entrance just as a few other dancers are being dropped off as well. It's a group of them and they barely acknowledge her when she waves. They're a little bit older-looking than her.

I watch for more people to arrive a while after Doll enters the building. Two of the four boys she mentioned go in last after another group of little girls.

Having seen enough, I pull out the parking lot and head on home to my twins and Leah.

Like the angel she's become, Leah already has lunch made and the twins in their playpen, watching _Caillou_ instead of _Sesame Street_. Even though the meal she's prepared is organic and lacking any type of calories, it doesn't matter because it's the thought that counts.

I, too, begin to watch the white, bald, cartoon boy on the screen, my head in Leah's lap as she sits Indian-style in the center of the playpen, watching the cartoon as well.

"Do you remember this one?" she questions, referring to the show. I shake my head.

"I think this one was a little after we were kids," I reply.

I can actually see my five-year-old self getting interested in a show like this though. Somehow this is more amusing than football or a car's engine.

Once the show goes off, the twins become a little restless and uneasy. With the hip-hop channel station, Leah breastfeeds on the couch, watching one of her reality fashion shows as she does. I watch for a while, too, until I get hungry again and eat one of her protein energy bars. Since it doesn't fill me up, however, I continue onto leftovers. Once the twins are fed and changed, I get an idea.

"Let's go to First Beach," I suggest while Jacob sits upright with little assistance in my lap. Leah's eyes don't leave the television when she answers okay.

After her show goes off, I dress the twins in the matching sailor bathing suits that Sue got us for our baby shower. They're not restless or resistant as I slip them into their cover- ups.

"You guys ready to go the beach for the first time?" I ask, slipping on Jacob's sandal. He lies there, staring elsewhere. Tee burps.

"I'll take that as a yes. I think you guys'll like First Beach. Your mama and I practically grew up on that beach. Many summers have been spent there. That beach has a lot of history, actually."

Jacob usually nods off during my stories, but Tee is often quite intrigued.

"Maybe your uncles will be there," I wonder, putting her hot pink, miniature, flip-flop on now. "They usually are."

July's last few remaining sun beams shine through the window opposite of the room. Summer's nearly gone and we're just now getting to the beach. I sigh at how beautiful La Push can be sometimes.

I set the twins carefully into their respective cribs when I'm done. "I'll be right back. Daddy's gotta put his trunks on."

That is, if I can find any. When was the last time I wore a bathing suit? I haven't been swimming in—

"_Whoa_," I cut myself off as I enter our bedroom to see Leah's Coca-Cola shape body exposed in a string bikini with marijuana leaves printed on the material in various shades of green. She's got her back to me but I hear her chuckle at my reaction.

"You still have that," I note in admiration, leaning on the threshold. Last time I saw this bathing suit was probably before we even started dating. When the suit first premiered, the bust, ass, and hips area didn't fill out. Once she turns to face me now, her tits, hips, and booty hit all the right curves and fit just right. I cross my legs to cover my excitement. _Thank you, puberty._

"I know it's not entirely appropriate for a day at the beach with your kids, but I can't find any of my other ones," she apologizes, referring to the leaves. Leah searches through the dresser drawer for a moment until she pulls out an underused pair of trunks to toss at me. I catch them, throw them on the bed, and remove my socks. I unzip my jeans but leave my boxers on to put the trunks on over.

"Why do boys do that?" she questions over shutting the drawer. I hear her jean shorts zipper go up.

"Do what? Hand me a tank."

She re-opens the dresser and looks for a tank top. "Wear boxers under swim trunks."

I grip my junk to emphasize. "'Cause there's a loose goose down here."

"Doesn't look so loose to me," she observes and tosses me a white tank top.

"You wanna take care of it for me?" I suggest.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. "You put the twins in their suits?"

"Yeah, they're chillin.'"

She nods and finds a see-through cover-up to pull on over her head. "Okay. Let's go."

* * *

Man, I love First Beach.

The sun and water are always in sync and seemed to be perfectly coordinating with each other in terms of weather and scenery. Leah fits perfectly into the picture as she carries Tee close to her chest, slowly walking around in circles with the water reaching her thighs. Their tan skin against each other and insane black hair give their resemblance away almost instantly. To see a mother and her child so peacefully connected in this way seems like some shit out of the movies, but here Leah is, goddess body and all, carrying our baby and whispering to her. Even with all these annoying teenagers and other families here, nothing can distract me enough from those two, so I watch them closely and sigh.

My girls.

"Mommy's pretty beautiful, huh?" I ask of Jacob as he plays with my sunglasses on his face. He's in his favorite place: on my knees.

"_Ner_?" he responds.

"_Ner_ is right."

Teigan stays perfectly on her mother's wide hip as the two twirl around the still water. The waves aren't crashing like usual, but they're actually chill, barely making a noise and hitting the rocks.

Leah kisses the top of Tee's head while she whispers something to the baby. A smile graces her face beautifully when Tee wiggles in her strong arms.

The sunglasses fall off Jacob's face but he picks them back up and puts them in his mouth. I laugh at him and put them back on his face properly. They twins will be teething soon.

"You wanna go in the water with Mama and Tee?" I ask rhetorically, and he crawls off my knees to my thighs, the sunglasses wobbling off his face. I steal them back from him and put them on my face now before gripping my top by the collar and pulling it off. I stand up, get him from under his arms, and set him on my hip. It's not a wide hip, but he stays sturdy enough.

The water is warm when each drop invades the spaces between my toes and up my feet. Leah watches me take careful steps into the tide, so she meets me halfway.

"Take her," she says quietly, carefully exchanging the twins. I have Tee in my arms now.

"What were you and him talking about?" Leah asks, inching closer and closer towards me, our thighs touching in the slightest. Her stomach has flattened, I notice. That yoga and organic food shit actually works. Her waist looks amazing as does her tattoo and scars. Her arms have redefined themselves, making the twin's names on her bicep pop.

"Nothing much," I reply, dipping a little lower into the water to get her toes wet. "He doesn't listen that well."

Leah's pink lips pepper Jacob's forehead in between smiles. "Just like his daddy," she says. She turns away from me with an inviting and seductive gleam from the sun in her hazel eyes. I follow and brush up behind her. Tee fits her miniature legs halfway around my torso and her arms grip around the back of my neck. She sets her head on my chest, sleeping peacefully.

"What were you and her talking about?" I ask.

Leah shrugs. "Just how I love her and La Push is her home and just all this cheesy, reassuring stuff. I told her a little something about Sarah, too."

"Really?"

She nods.

"What'd you tell her?"

Leah dips with me until the water reaches her and Jacob's chest. Her hair looks transparent beneath the greenish water.

"I told her that she was a really good mom and how she would've been an even better grandma. It made her happy," she tells me.

I look down at my daughter. "That made you happy, huh, Tee?" My huge finger caresses her entire hand. That odd crying sensation comes back to me, but I fight it unwillingly. These guys always make me unnecessarily sentimental.

"Yo, Jacob! Lee-Lee!" The voice echoes from shore, the character getting lost from the distance from us to whoever, making the voice unrecognizable. We both turn at the same time to see Rachel and Paul waving at us from our towel in the sand.

An instant smile grows upon Leah's face when she sets Jake on her hip and uses her free hand to grab mine. Tee balances perfectly on me like a monkey in a tree as we make our way over to shore to say hi.

"You wanna see your Uncle Paul and Aunt Rachel?" Leah amuses Jacob and he just plays in her wet hair, trying to put it in his mouth. I check up on Teigan; her eyes have opened and she's just staring at me.

"Aw, my two favorite boogers," Paul greets with a goofy grin as he holds Rachel by her hips, close to his side. She flashes us both a genuine smile.

"A bit early in life to be boogers, don't-cha think?" Leah corrects him, but he just laughs.

"I was talking about _you_ two," he replies, making Rach roll her eyes and unroll the towel under her arm.

I stick my tongue out at Paul and bounce Tee in my arms. "Hardy-har."

"You know it's all love. Where's the oldest germ?"

"Doll's at dance practice," I answer, keeping a rhythm with Tee's tiny body. "Right, Tee? Your sissy's at dance practice."

"How long you guys been here?" Paul asks, retrieving sunscreen from Rach as she spreads some on herself.

"Like, twenty minutes," Lee answers, drying her hair with one hand as she prepares to lie on the towel. Jacob watches us all in confusion.

"Bet you haven't gotten a good dip in yet," Rach says, getting into the perfect tanning position. I wanna take a sweater and cover her up.

"Eh, it's okay. The twins are relaxed, that's the important part," she replies, rubbing Jacob's cheeks while popping a squat next to Rachel.

"Why don't you have a quick swim? We can watch them for a few," my sister suggests, sitting upward.

"Really?" Leah says, shocked at the gesture.

"Yeah, I don't plan on swimming so I don't have an issue babysitting," she insists, removing her shades. I've already mentally said yes, but it's Leah's approval that really counts. It's like Satan's nut sack out on this beach and just getting my legs wet didn't suffice.

There doesn't seem to be a hint of uncertainty in Leah's voice or face when she agrees and gives Jacob to his eldest aunt. Paul's funny-looking expression makes me cautious in setting the child on his chest. He supports her accordingly and grins at her as she stares back inventively.

He smirks. "Kid looks hella like you, Jake." I nod in agreement, a side smile forming upon my lips.

Leah stands up and gets my hand in hers again, this time intertwining each finger. She's already begun leading us to the water as she yells, "My babies better be in one piece when I get back!" behind her. Rachel is fine but Paul. . .well he's Paul.

"C'mon," I grunt and catch Leah by surprise with throwing her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and getting a startled yelp followed by a cute giggle in return. Once we sink to thigh level water, she reaches farther down to grip my trunks, but I stop her by playfully tipping her over and letting her dive in backwards. That splash and everything that follows seems like a complete flashback to summer of 2002 when I was sixteen and Leah was seven months fifteen. The way she resurfaces from under the water with that bright smile and same bathing suit sends me back. Way back.

She hardly looks the same. Fifteen-year-old Leah was pretty hot, but that Leah was different. That Leah would've pretended not to like it when I dunk her underwater and splashed me in retaliation. That Leah would've attempted to wrestle me under the waves to impress the other boys who watched from the shore and dared me to even do so. That Leah always lost and ended up slipping under when I got her weak spot and there'd be a moment of slight sexual tension between us when she'd have her legs wrapped protectively around my waist when a huge wave would whoosh by, threatening to send us back to shore. Somehow, she never held on tight enough because we'd end up getting separated anyway. As time went on and the early 2000s faded into the mid-2000s, she seemed to have a stronger grip—both in _and_ out of the water.

But it's a different year now. She's five months shy of twenty-seven and that same chick who tried to wrestle me down between the waves of First Beach is an Alpha. She still tries to wrestle me, but old habits die hard and I end up getting her under, anyway. Instead of fighting back, she climbs her way on my back and clings for dear life when waves come by. She laughs and lets her hair get wet without worry of having to do it later. And like nobody's around, we taste the salt in each other's mouths from the water, her body wrapped around mine like she were molded to fit here.

And every so often, we make fun of Paul and Rachel attempting and failing miserably at getting the twins to calm down when they begin fussing.

"Should we help 'em?" Leah asks, floating on her back with her ass as a flotation device. Like a crocodile, my eyes stay lurking above the water. Setting my feet on the ocean floor, I carefully take her hand into mine and bring her back to my level.

"Come on. Play time's over."

Without even trying, she makes an innocent action like getting out of the ocean look sexy. It's just in the nature of chicks like her.

"Tired already?" Leah teases when she gets Tee back from a no-longer-goofing Paul. He snickers, stands, and brushes the sand off his shorts.

"We gotta go," he announces when Rach puts Jake back in my arms. The three of us whip our heads about to look at him. Leah has her face scrunched.

"Go?" she repeats. "Go where?"

"Sam just texted me. Last minute pack meeting. Says it's important."

That makes Leah's eyes roll. "Of course he did." Her face shows deliberation. "Is it absolutely mandatory that we go?"

He answers uneasily. "We"—he gestures between himself and Leah—"have to go."

She soon catches on, but I ignore her pity. "Oh," she says, and grabs a towel from the beach bag to begin drying herself off. "Jacob, just stay here with the twins, alright?"

I nod, annoyed, and sit upright to place the twins between my knees. They seem comfortable there.

"If I'm not back by this evening, just meet me at home, okay?" She throws me the damp towel and grabs her shorts and cover-up. I watch her re-dress and fix her hair slowly to stall time. All it took was a vampire attack to kick me out of my own pack?

"Mommy'll be right back," Leah coos, bending over in front of me, without bending her legs, to kiss their cheeks. "Mami will be back." her voice goes to a sultry whisper with a Hispanic accent to assist the sensuality. Her kiss-swollen lips peck mine sweetly before she straightens out, waves goodbye to my sister, and follows Paul back to his truck.

What began as a family day ends up as a sister-brother date. It's still technically a family day, but I can't ogle my sister in her bikini. Instead of moping, I make the best of the rest of the day with my sister. We have a sweet heart-to-heart as she tans—why? I'm not sure—and I find out her and Paul have been wanting a baby of their own since the twins were born. They're not the only ones.

"Well, just a warning," I tell her cautiously, "it's a lot of work. Yeah, they're cute now, but don't let their chubby cheeks and tiny toes fool you. They're pissing, drooling, crying machines." As she plays in Tee's curls, she barks out a laugh.

"My kid brother is giving me advice about babies. This has what my life has come to?" she teases.

Since neither Leah nor Paul have returned by the time twilight is rolling by, I take Rachel home and head back to our place, hoping Leah would be there already. The house is silent and empty, so I shrug it off and prepare to feed the twins. Well, _I_ don't have breasts so I pop out the bottles, mix the formula, and heat them just enough. I test it on the back of my hand, let the bottles cool, and try remembering how Leah showed me how to feed them. I feel as though I'm doing it right when they quietly suck the bottles peacefully in my lap, while watching the TV.

I've got this newborn-kinda-first-time-daddy shit down. After eating for myself and deciding not to move for a good few hours, I relax as well with the twins until Leah comes home, which is at seven-something.

"Ah, Mama's home!" I exclaim when she swishes through the front door in a hurried fury to the kitchen. She ignores my greeting and her sheer annoyance and frustration is enough to heat up the whole room.

I roll my eyes. What'd Sam do now?

"Stay here," I instruct the distracted twins as they lay on their bellies in the middle of the playpen. She rushes right into the kitchen, and when I round the corner, her head is in the fridge.

"Leah?" I test, but my calmness doesn't pass on.

"I'm done!" she announces loudly, slamming the fridge startlingly, the anger and hostility as readable as a book. I jump and weakly put my hands up in defense.

"Aye, calm your tits! The twins are in the other room," I remind her, but she interrupts me.

"They should be upstairs, anyway," she growls, arms folded, scowling and turning me on.

"What happened? You're done? Done with what?"

She leans on the counter and fiercely grasps the edges, clawing the marble. Her hair is an unorganized curly mess; her skin is damp and prickled with anxious goosebumps while her form shakes lightly. She's phased.

And she's pissed.

"Leah," I stand before her, casually checking on the twins from around the corner. "What'd he do?"

She turns her face away when I try to put her chin in my hands. Her scoff is intimidating.

"I can't kill the messenger," her timbre is a lot softer this time. "I'm so fucking done with this Alpha shit."

"You'd rather re-join Sam?"

Her glare represents evil.

"Just tell me what the hell happened," I beg once and caress her arms till her palms loop around mine.

She's hesitant for a few moments before sassily licking her teeth. "Your little girlfriend has gone missing."

"Huh?"

"Renesmee hasn't been home for three days," she informs me sourly. "No note, no phone call, nothing. Even Seth doesn't know where she is. No one's seen her since Sue and Charlie's wedding." I reluctantly let it all sink in.

_Shit_. I sigh.

"Edward and Bella think she's been kidnapped," she growls, digging her nails into my hands. "They went searching for her, but her scent can't be tracked from here to Canada. The council has ordered for the packs to do patrols again, starting tomorrow night."

I nod. "Fuck."

"Oh, you think _that's_ bad?" she chuckles without amusement. "For some fucking reason, you're heavily involved and the Council thinks you have something to do with it! They expect you to know where their little princess is!" she yells, poking my chest, laughing wickedly.

"What do I have to do with anything? Can't even phase," I mutter the last part shamefully.

"She's your damn imprint and because you couldn't keep it in your pants, they assume you keep tabs on her like a fucking parole officer!" she shouts to the fullest extent, her voice breaking as she pushes me off of her.

"I don't know how many times I can tell you to quit yelling. Just calm down."

Leah scratches her temple and the beginning of her hairline. "Why, Jake? Goddamnit, Jake, why?"

"I'm sor—"

"Stop," she puts her hand up, stopping me. "Look, the Council and the packs have decided not to involve any humans in this. This situation has the potential to be dangerous, so we're not going to Charlie."

"Dangerous?"

She nods and bites her lip. "The Cullens and Sam think Rosalie has something to do with this. We can't risk anything by involving Charlie or Sue."

_Rosalie?_ She has little to do with Nessie.

"What about Nahuel?"

The light bulb goes off atop her head. "Nahuel. Has he been—?"

"He hasn't been around in months," I tell her, and her eyes widen like we've made a world-changing discovery.

"What about Carson? He's been pretty scarce lately. You don't think he'd have something to do with—?"

"He's just a kid."

She takes that into consideration before nodding. "The Denalis wouldn't," she concludes. "Let's get them to bed and ask Doll."

After shutting everything downstairs off, we each pick up a twin and head upstairs to their nursery to get them to sleep. It takes us about ten minutes to get them to sleep before knocking on Doll's closed bedroom door.

"Doll?" I call on the other side after we get no response after numerous knocks. Leah tries, pressing her ear to the door and scrunching her face in confusion. We barge in now, walking into her empty room with drawings, colored pencils, and notepads on the floor and a cracked-open window, letting the wind cool everything down.

Leah and I call her name out but get no reply. Panic washes over the two of us when after checking under her bed and closet, there's still no sign of her.

"_Jacob,_" her voice breaks as she checks every corner of this tiny room. "Jacob. No. No no no n-no no no _no_," she pants, falling to the ground and frantically searching. My breathing hitches just as the room begins to spin and swirl wildly like a rollercoaster having been knocked off its course. Leah rushes in and out of the room at the speed of light, searching, while I stand here, drowning in my own sweat, trying to figure out where the hell she could be.

I can't. I can't bear to put up a single flyer around La Push with Doll's face on it with big bold letter reading _Missing_. Gulping, my knees wobble and I grip her dresser to get a grasp of something real. This isn't happening. I can't. This isn't real.

"JACOB!" Leah shrieks, coming up behind me and punching me in the back, tears staining her face. "JACOB, WHERE IS SHE?!"

Getting weaker by the second, I attempt turning around to console her, but she's fighting me. "I don't know," I mutter.

"WHAT!" she screams, pulling back a fist but I answer louder.

_"I don't know, Leah!_"

Incredulously, she pushes me all the way against the wall, making the floor and furniture shake. "What do you mean, _you don't know_? You took her out this afternoon—" she begins, gripping me by my collar and on her toes to meet my eyes. I gasp as the rest of her statement unfolds. Her yelling and hollering and the level of_ intensity_ she's delivering jogs my memory back to this afternoon.

Damn, I'm an idiot.

"I know where she is!" I yell over her and untangle her fingers from around my tank top. She listens for a second and exhales, still in tears.

"Go get _my _fucking daughter," she hisses. "I'm not fucking with you. Go get _my_ goddamn daughter. You go out there and find _my _ fucking daughter, you sorry motherfucker or I swear to God I will—"

Uninterested in the rest of the threat, I untie ourselves from around each other and sigh in relief. Rushing passed her, the sound of the twins crying fills my ears and the guilt pangs.

"Jacob!" Leah hollers after me.

"I'll be right back!" I answer when I reach the bottom of the stairs, keys to the Rabbit in hand.

**A/N AND S/O TO ALL THE BASIC BITCHES WHO'RE TOO SCARED TO SIGN THEIR NAME OR CREATE AN ACCOUNT WHEN THEY LEAVE NEGATIVE REVIEWS. SHOWS HOW MUCH BALLS YOU HAVE. :) **


	22. Vibrations Good Like Sunkist

**A/N You know what I'm gonna say. . .VOTE. Please and thank you. ^_^**

And the award for shittiest father goes to me, Jacob Black, for my breathtaking performance in forgetting to pick up my own daughter from dance class.

I'm still in panic mode as my hands grip the steering wheel dangerously on the way to the school. Defeated, I bang the horn multiple times furiously, looking like an idiot for honking on an empty road. How did I possible fucking forget doing something as simple as picking up my eight-year-old? There's honestly no other excuse. I forgot. I actually forgot. I didn't get held up; I fucking _forgot_.

I try not to imagine the hurt on Doll's face. Leah already covered that for me.

Turning into the school, I expect to see Doll sitting outside with her dance bag over her shoulder and her instructor waiting alongside her. But instead, the entrance way is cleared out and vacant. It's dark, so I assume they're inside.

Well, this creates a great first impression for Leah and I. If I were her instructor, I'd think the worst, too, if one of my student's parents didn't show up to get them.

I get out of the Rabbit and approach the entrance, ready to begin knocking viciously, in hopes of someone being inside. The chances of someone actually being in there at this time of a night—a summer night, at that—are slim, but it's best to try. I can't and won't return home unless I bring Doll with me. Leah would deem me the unforgiveable, leave me, and do much worse physical damage if anything were to happen to Doll. I'd hate myself.

My banging catches attention when the door finally swings open and a brittle, pale, older gentleman in a pair of dingy jeans and a staff shirt, holding a broom, barges outward.

"What the hell you doin' all that banging for?" he complains with a slur due to lack of teeth. He comes off as an angry old man; the widower type who met his old lady during his leave for some war.

"I'm really sorry, sir, but I dropped my kid off a few hours for her dance class and completely—" I begin at once, but he holds his wrinkly hand forward, catching me off guard.

"You must be Alex's dad," he says knowingly, finally stepping all the way out the school.

My jaw drops. "_You_ know her?"

He nods slowly. His delayed mannerisms aren't very reassuring, so I have to confirm multiple times.

"Alex? Alejandra?"

He nods his head yes both times.

"Little tan girl with big green eyes? Usually drawing? Good at foot—"

"What, do you got cotton in your ears? I said, _yes! _Been working here for nearly twenty-something years, seen a lot of kids and cleaned up a lot of messes, but I can't forget Alex. Sweet girl, _really_ sweet girl."

I scrunch my face in with confusion. So he's a custodian. "Where is she?" I ask stupidly.

His jaw shakes. Oh my goodness, he's so old. "Around six or so this afternoon, an hour after you were _supposed_ to pick her up, she and her instructor lady called her grandmother on the phone in the main office there"—his arm shakes as it points to the school—"to come and get her. Um, Sharon, Sandra, Sadie. . ."

"_Sue_," I tell him.

He shrugs. "Real nice lady."

My heart slows down and the sweat from my palms, forehead and neck evaporates. "So Sue has her? She came to get her?"

The custodian rolls his eyes multiple times. "For a guy who's got himself a great daughter like Alex, you sure are dumb."

If he weren't so old and accurate, I'd be offended. Ah, but he's right. "I'm sorry, sir, I just really messed up this time," I trail off calmly knowing she's safe. "A lot of stuff has been happening lately, my wife's pretty pissed—"

He nods in understanding. "Well, it happens to the best of us."

"Yeah," I whisper. "I guess so. Thanks."

His comment alone should make me feel better. I take in what he's said as I back away to the Rabbit to get to Sue's. I'll never hear the end of it from her.

"Wait," I swerve on my heel to face him just as he turns to enter the building. "How do you know Doll?"

He brings his brows together in confusion.

"_Alex_," I correct myself.

"Oh," he croaks. "Well, she's really well-liked 'round here. She sometimes spends her lunch and recess time helping me clean up this dump. She volunteers for a lot of stuff, so I sometimes see her after school lets out or in the hallways. She's a sweetie pie. Lot better than all these other devil spawns. She even got me a Valentine's Day card this year." He sounds proud.

Sounds like Doll. I smile. "Alright, then. Thanks again."

He continues back on his way inside before waving me off dismissively. I hop in the Rabbit and start the engine, ready to face the music at Sue's. Riding over there isn't the hard part. Getting the courage to actually knock on the door is.

Sprouting balls within my scrotum, I put the car in park and hop out. Slamming the door must've startled someone inside because through the screen door, because I hear a shocked gasp and some sort of shuffling between a piece of furniture and someone's body. I gulp when I reach towards the screen door handle but am taken back when Sue pops up.

I jump. She looks less than happy. It's not exactly anger on her face but more of a "Really, Jacob, _really_?" kinda glare.

"Nice to see you remembered," she says.

"Sue," I begin but she turns away and cuts me off.

"Doll, get your stuff!" she calls down the hall, where I catch Seth eating out of a bowl with a huge smirk on his face. I don't know what he finds so hilarious, considering I didn't lose my girlfriend. Okay, _once_— but she wasn't kidnapped.

The cartoons are going loud in the family room where I get a slight glimpse of Doll, pissed, popping up from the sofa cushion and grabbing her dance bag from the floor.

Ugh, she looks just like Leah with that pout and eye roll.

Sue unlocks the screen door and bends down to say her goodbye and get a kiss.

"'Member what I told you, okay?" she whispers and kisses Doll's forehead. The child nods and stares at her for as long as possible to avoid looking at me.

"Okay, go ahead," she dismisses her while opening the screen door and looking past me. I roll my eyes at them and wait until I hear the sound of the door slamming to speak.

"Sue, I'm sorry."

"Tell her, not me."

"I just wanna explain."

"No need," she chuckles. Wait, she _chuckled_? "I'm not gonna lie and say I'm the perfect mother. There have been one or two or five times I forgot to pick Leah up from school when Seth was first born. I understand."

I nod. "What'd you tell her?"

She winks suspiciously but ignores my question.

"I already fed her and she took a shower. I put her in some of her other clothes and washed her dance stuff for her so you don't have to bother doing it when you get home."

Sue's an angel. "Thanks," I reply.

"Hey. What're grandmas for?" She smiles and shrugs. "Now go on, before you come home to find some divorce papers."

That wouldn't surprise me. I lean forward and peck her cheek softly. "Bye, Sue."

"Bye, you sorry son of a bitch."

I pretend not to hear her mumble that last part because I'm used to the verbal, mother-in-law abuse as I approach the Rabbit. Doll's in the front seat as usual, clutching her dance bag in her hands, on the brink of tears.

She continues to ignore me when I try to apologize. I even use her full name to grab her attention, but all she does is sit forward, wiping away her own tears as the Rabbit rides to our side of La Push.

"I don't know how many times I can say I'm sorry," I try again, but she keeps her grimace.

"So you're just gonna sit there and ignore me?"

She does so, looking out the window as if I haven't even spoken.

"Guess so."

The remainder of the car ride is sour. I quit trying to get her to speak because clearly she's not having it. Man, if she were Billy and Sarah's kid, she would've gotten the worse of it for ignoring one of them.

It seems like the second I park and stop the engine in our neighborhood, she's out the car, dashing up the porch stairs. I want to stop her, but the tears are about to fold over in her eyes; all she wants to do is get to her room and cry in peace.

So I unlock the door and she's off, even passing Bronx in his cage. He whines and scratches, his nails clinking desperately against the metal as he does. Doll's stomping up the stairs, surely disturbing the twins.

Lagging behind, I release Bronx and watch him scurry after her, but the sound of her door slamming echoes before he can make it. I climb the stairs and catch Leah rushing down the hall to her room.

"Doll, open the door. Now," she commands, and waits, but all she gets is the sound of crying on the other side. Bronx whines.

"Doll, I'm sure Daddy is sorry, okay? Just talk to me, I missed you," she pleads but no answer. I come up from behind to grab Leah by the hand and lead her away to our bedroom as if to warn her of how pissed Doll is, but she snatches her hand back. So neither of them are having it, I guess.

Maybe if the twins are fast asleep in the next room, she'll kick the door down like SWAT, but she knocks once more, pleading to be let in. The sound of Doll's crying only increases.

Understanding, Leah backs away, turns her head to glance at me, and sneers.

"C'mon, Leah, don't be mad at me," I start after her as she strides into our bedroom. I shut the door behind us.

"I'm not mad at you," she says, going into the bathroom.

_Really?_ The murder in her eyes before I left state otherwise.

I remove my sneakers, throw them into the closet, and place my trunks and tank into the hamper.

"_I'm_ mad at me," she confesses, shutting the medicine cabinet.

"Why're you mad at yourself?"

She clicks the bathroom light off and exits with her hair in its traditional nighttime ponytail. "I've been so worried about Edward and Bella's little girl that I forgot about my own. I'll bet she's been feeling really ignored lately."

I wouldn't know the feeling, sibling-wise. "What do you think we should do?" I ask.

She climbs tiredly in between the comforters. "I don't know, Jacob. I'm going to bed."

The red numbers on the digital clock read nine-fifty. "So early?"

She nods and motions me forward with her index. I don't object sliding in next to her. My calves brush hers; they're smooth and bristle-free. Her aftershave lotion smells like peaches and I fucking love it.

The satisfaction must be easy and recognizable on my face because she calls me out on it. "What?"

"You just smell nice."

She grins. "So you really don't have any idea what to do about her?"

It's nice to see her not mad at me anymore. "We should do something as a family—the five of us."

"Like?"

"I don't know. Just something fun."

She nods. "Alright. Ya think she'll get over it? I mean, it is sorta my fault, too, since—"

"Don't blame yourself. It was one-hundred-percent my fault. I should've—"

She interrupts me now. "No. It took fifty percent of you and fifty percent of me to make a hundred percent of her. We're both at fault. I shouldn't have gotten so angry when I could've at least reminded you. What took you so long?"

"She wasn't at the school, but I had an interesting talk with this sassy custodian who knows her, actually. Sue picked her up."

She sighs in relief. "Did you see Seth? How's he?"

"He finds the fact that Nessie is fucking missing hilarious because he was grinning like the damn Cheshire cat." I shrug him off. "Anyway, Sue fed her and gave her a shower and washed her dance stuff."

She nods. "This dance show means the world to her."

"We'll be there."

Her sneering isn't reassuring. "I hope," she yawns, turns over onto her "respective" side, and begins fake sleeping within minutes.

So,_ this_ is marriage.

* * *

Spending the rest of the summer making it up to Doll and balancing patrols is moderately easy. Besides being tired from being out all night, Leah keeps a level head with her Alpha status thrown into full swing. She's only had to crack a few skulls, and the authority turns me on. That being said, in the last two months, we've had sex about twice, lasting three minutes both times. Amazing how long four seems, huh?

Leads or clues of Nessie since she went missing back in July have been scarce, and Edward and Bella have been going far and wide to find her with the pack's help. Nahuel and Carson's sudden disappearances don't help their or the Denalis' case, but tonight isn't about Nessie.

Tonight is about Doll—tonight's her dance show. The competition is being held at the high school on the reservation where I barely passed. We would've arrived earlier, but Doll needed her hair straightened and her glittery make-up applied beforehand, and Leah's not good with time management.

Because we have such a supportive family, Sue, Charlie, Seth, and half the pack came to watch the festivities as well, but I can't help thinking Colin and Brady only came to hit on some of the older girls.

Dancers from all around the county are competing. Doll, however, isn't worrying about winning or losing, but Leah and Sue are pressed. Their snide comments and laughter are quite loud during other school performances. I keep my eyes on the judges while Paul, Jared, and the rest of them make comments of their own about the high school girls.

When the Tribal school is called to the stage, our entire section stands and cheers for Doll until we are politely asked to have a seat and stay quiet. The only silent ones are the twins.

Of course, it starts off dark, but as soon as the beat begins, the stage lights up and I'd appreciate the performance more if every woman—yes, I mean _every woman_—in here could control their ovaries. The smart song choice their dance instructor had chosen was "Good Vibrations" by the ever-so-hunky-and-dreamy Marky Mark, aka the man of Leah's, Sue's, Kim's, Emily's, Rachel's, and Rebecca's dreams.

Many of times, back in the day, my sisters would blast this nineties white boy rap not because he was good, but because he's the only white guy to ever catch their interest. And yeah, even Leah had her little obsession aside from N'Sync. Every girl I knew had a poster from that damn Calvin Klein photo shoot. I groan and watch the performance, ignoring my wife and her crazy friends.

Because Doll is one of the youngest, she's up front. The costumes they're all wearing—sagging and baggy blue jeans, Calvin Klein underwear, wife beaters and a baseball cap—give us all a taste of nostalgia. I'd appreciate this _even more _ if the four boys in her class had shirts on.

It's an intense dance, but the twenty-something of them sure put up good fronts and make it look effortless. The choreography matches the music perfectly as does their energy. My eyes are on Doll the entire time, silently cheering her on while Leah's up out of her seat clapping and yelling, _"My baby!"_ a hundred times.

The contemporary and hip-hop is more refreshing than the usual jazz and ballet we've seen so far. Soon, their dance does end and our pack is up on our feet clapping and disturbing everyone in the auditorium.

Only a handful of teams are next until an intermission takes place and Doll excitedly greets us with flower bouquets awaiting her. She takes the congrats and love humbly and kisses the twins before having to return backstage fifteen minutes later.

A few more boring teams perform before the judges make their final choice and announce who placed where. All twenty or so teams stand on the stage, holding each other's hands, hoping for the best. A high school from Forks and a middle school in Seattle placed second and third. I get a little disappointed hearing another team's name be called for first, but winning fourth out of twenty-something isn't that bad for the tribal school. Doll is all smiles and congrats when she gives props to the winners as they got their trophy. Leah and Sue are pretty upset, but Doll seems okay with the results. She's always such a good sport.

Because it's a school night, she sends herself to bed as soon as we get home right after she washes the makeup off her face. Leah does the same before getting into bed and ignoring me poking her in the thigh. She does that little growl thing that disturbs Bronx, so he exits to either Doll's room or the nursery.

Sexually frustrated, I cross my arms and stare at the ceiling. She snores.

Someone out there, someone is doing their wife. I'm just stuck here with twins and a missing imprint.

**A/N Don't give up on this story yet. Y'all are in for it. :D**


	23. Renesmee

The winter season breezes by with just as much snow and Christmas presents as last year. Even with the twins', the spoiled and pampered treatment Doll receives around the holidays doesn't diminish, and she gets just as many birthday and Christmas gifts as she usually does. Leah finally turns twenty-seven, making us the same age for only a few short weeks.

Instead of being drunken hot messes on New Year's, Leah and I ditch the party scene and watch the ball drop into 2014 with Doll and the twins, who all three are knocked out by ten o' clock. One drink into the new year and three sleeping kids later, I find myself lying in our bed, sexually frustrated and uncomfortable with the fact that the last time I had sex with Leah was probably just before Thanksgiving. Maybe I'm getting ugly, but I at least deserved some birthday sex. The most I get is a hand job and a piece of cake.

Might I add that it's a mild, unenthusiastic, effortless hand job and a square of gluten-free cake mix.

One thing memorable about these past few months is the twins growing—almost literally—out of their crawling stage and learning how to walk by themselves. I can't believe my eyes when I come home from work one afternoon and see both Tee and Jacob taking cautious steps towards Leah at the end of the hall while she videotapes. They still don't talk, which is something I won't be missing when they can.

Oh, and speaking of missing, Nessie's still gone. It's driving the Cullens and the packs crazy. She's been gone six months now, which is pretty scary because for all we know, she could be dead. Nahuel could have her lifeless body mangled and stuffed inside an ice chamber in some basement, but we would never know. These patrols haven't been benefiting anyone because no new scents or trespassers have been in our borders. If we haven't gotten anything by now, what's the point? Right now, it's safest to assume that wherever Nessie is, that's where Rosalie and Nahuel are as well.

Carson's disappearance has been getting to Doll, too. Last she heard of him was that he moved, but he didn't specify. The house he and Nahuel apparently lived in is empty now.

I shouldn't worry myself with pack drama even though the Council wants me heavily involved. My dad advises I stay away, and that's what I'm doing.

"Jacob!"

"Fuck!" I yelp and jump at the sound of my name being shouted across the garage, my train of thought wrecked. My wrench falls to the ground with a clank even when I try to catch it on the way down; my reactions are slacking. After checking my arm for a scratch and seeing it's a tiny cut, I grab a Band-Aid and turn around.

Royce is poking his head out his office, smiling like it's funny. "Jake, c'mon. Something I need to speak with you about," he shouts over the radio and ongoing machinery.

I fake a smile while discarding the band aid wrapper. He disappears around the corner to his office.

Damn, I hate him. No such thing as giving a guy a fair warning?

I turn my radio down and retrieve the wrench from the floor to set in my tool box. It feels like everyone's eyes are on me when I enter his office and shut the door behind me. I've only been in this room a handful of times in the eight or so years I've been working here.

"Have a seat," he offers, with his back facing me as he mixes a drink on the counter behind his desk. I do as suggested and think back on some of the shit I've done here recently that'd be worth being called out on. Maybe this is about me clocking out thirty minutes early a few weeks ago or—

"_Royce-y_," an innocent and feminine voice says, his office door opening. He turns the same time I do to take in the young lady—like just-graduated-from-high-school young—standing in the threshold, with her breast a little bit too far out her shirt and a skirt made for someone Doll's size. Her dirty blonde, bouncy hair reminds me of Rosalie.

Royce smirks widely at her. She must be one of his little girlfriends. "Hey, hotness," he greets her. She giggles and I wanna puke. "Daddy can't talk right now, but be back later, okay?" he asks her. She pouts for a second but nods and blows him a kiss as she exits.

Once the door is fully closed, he turns back to his counter and mixes some more. "Would you like a drink, Jacob?"

Normally, I'd be accepting, but this is Royce's liquor, and I'd rather not catch an STD. I shake my head with a no.

He shrugs. "Alright, then," he says and sets his glass on his desk. "Before I get started, how ya doing? You're so quiet; I almost forgot you work here. What's going on?"

"Um," I hum. "My two-year anniversary is next month. My twins' first birthday is coming up, too," I answer, blushing.

"Aw, how sweet. How is Leah?"

_You'd like to know, huh? _"She's fine."

"Good, good. Great to hear it. Any idea as to why I called you in here?"

I shake my head and nonchalantly wipe grease on my jeans as he rummages through his desk drawers.

"Well, basically," he begins, leaning back in his office chair, drink in hand. "King Motors, as you know, is a big business. People from all around Forks, La Push, and even Seattle come here to get their cars fixed, washed, and traded in. It's never empty in here."

I blink at him. "Uh-huh."

He brings the drink towards his Chaplin 'stache and gulps down half. "My father, his father, and _his_ father had a dream to expand King Motors beyond here. I feel as if that dream could start with you."

_Now_ he's got my attention. I sit up attentively.

"A business partner of mine has already put his foot forward and built a King Motors in Silverdale. It's about two hours from here. You're honestly the best man I got and there honestly isn't anyone else I'd rather have run the management."

I blink again. "Wait, what?"

He smiles. "I'm offering you a management job over at our King Motors in Silverdale," he clarifies. "It's not a dramatic move from La Push. Here's everything you'd need to know." He pushes the manila folder he pulled from his desk towards me. I hesitate before grabbing it.

"I_ really_ hope you accept," he says. "It's a really friendly and family-oriented area, still near the beach, doesn't cost an arm and leg to live there but with your new salary, you shouldn't worry."

_Oh, boy._ "Of all your employees, you pick _me_?"

He nods as if it's perfectly obvious as to why. "Almost everyone who comes through here requests you be under their hood."

I guess that's something to be proud of. All those hours spent in dad's garage tuning engines and making oil changes has finally paid off in a way. It's not my own garage—which would be ideal—but it's a start.

"I don't know, Royce. I'll have to think about it and talk with Leah."

His face turns red. "I don't wanna rush you,_ but_ we need an answer pretty soon. We launch in Silverdale next January."

Eleven months seems like enough time. "I should have an answer by then."

He wiggles his brows and takes another swig. "Great," he replies and checks his watch. "Fifteen minutes until quitting time for you, isn't it? You can clock out now, if you'd like."

Kissing up already? "Alright. Thanks, Royce." I stand, folder in hand, and he waves me off as I open his office door. Before I make it out, he calls me quickly.

"While you're out there, can you tell the blonde chick she can come in now?"

I nod. "Sure."

Shutting the door behind me, I scan around for Royce's little hottie until spotting her sitting on someone's workbench, distracting them with her long legs as they work. Well, that's not safe.

I stride over to her, and once she sees me approaching, she lights up. "You guys are done? I can go in?"

Gesturing towards his office door, I shrug. "Be my guest."

Her pout turns to an ear-to-ear grin as she hops off the workbench, fixes her tiny skirt, and rearranges her tits. Her steps are childlike as she shuffles in her heels across the floor. I take a second to see if her ass cheeks swish, but they don't.

I finish the engine I was attending to real quick, wash my hands and clock out, thinking of ways to approach Leah with this news. She should be happy for me since this is a minor step closer to owning my own shop somewhere in La Push.

Silverdale, huh? Never heard of it. Maybe she has.

I can't quit thinking about his offer all the way home. The split moment it leaves my mind is when I unlocked the front door and Bronx is immediately jumping on my calves as a greeting. I pick him up and carry him with me to the family room, where I expect to find the rest of the Blacks.

The TV is on, playing cartoons, but the room is empty so I lift a brow and glance around.

"Where are they? Do you know, Bronx?"

My question is soon answered when the sound of erratic footsteps creak through the wooden floor. I set Bronx on his feet and put the folder on the coffee table as the four of my family members scurry down the steps.

"Daddy's home," I hear Leah cheer just as Doll jumps off the last step to gimme a hug.

"Hi, Daddy," she says and plops onto the couch for Bronx to pop in her lap.

"Hey, Doll-Face. How was your day?"

"Good," she answers. "Yours?"

"It was alright. You and the twins behave?"

"I did."

"You guys, look who's home!" Leah says giddily as the twins rush to me for hugs. An automatic smile forms on my face when I bend down to get Thing 1 and Thing 2 in my arms.

"There are my other two munchkins. You guys have a good day?" I kiss both their cheeks and Tee giggles before reaching for my face and scratching me as usual. Jacob kisses me back in my lips, slobbering as he does.

"They were scurrying around here all day, driving me crazy, so they should be tired by nighttime," Leah explains and rubs my side. "Kiss?"

She already has her lips puckered, so I lean down for a peck. "Anything else interesting happen today?"

The twins climb down from by themselves with little assistance and land on their bellies.

"Besides chasing them around? Well, I took Doll to dance practice. The spring show is around the beginning of April, around their birthdays, and _oh!_ I meant to call you before you came home from work," she informs me as her fingers rub against my arms. "Before you get comfortable, I need you to stop by the store and get some diapers for the twins."

I nod and jingle my keys in my jeans pocket. "Alright. Doll, you want anything?"

She shakes her head but quickly changes her mind. "Can you get me, like, a snack or something for tomorrow? I have practice."

"Okay," I say tiredly, kiss Leah's cheek, and make my way back down the hallway. "I'll be right back and when I am, we need to talk about something really important."

Leah catches onto my serious tone and cocks her head to the side, while Jacob hits her thigh for attention. "Is something wrong?"

"Depends on how you take it," I rush the words quickly as I exit out the door and head for the Rabbit. I'd take the bike, but how fucking cool would I look with a bag of diapers hanging off the handlebar as it glides in the wind, whooshing by?

I stop at La Push's nearest drug store, but they don't have diapers, so I'm forced to ride into Forks. Finding a snack for Doll is fine because basically anything with a colorful packaging and sugar makes her happy, so I grab some PopTarts.

Leah's usually with me when we shop for diapers or anything baby-related because she's read more books than I on which brands are best for whomever. Now, I'm not sure we use the kind where the design turns a different color when one of them pees. Then again, I've seen Tee and Jake run around in the regular white kind. Or maybe we use the ones with the double strap around their waist for better protection? Naw, I'm positive we use the underwear kind. Or maybe it's—

"Are you new to this?"

I look up from the shelves to my right, where a woman on the heavy side of life is eagerly smiling with her full cart, facing the baby supplies.

"S'cuse me?" I ask her, not fully hearing what she's said or if she was even talking to me.

"I said, are you new at this? Firstborn, newly single, father thing?" she repeats.

"Oh," I reply. "No, I'm just running an errand for my wife. I've got two new ones out of three."

"Oh." She barks out a few belts of laughter. Do I really look this stupid by myself?

"It's just that you were standing there for a few minutes and I just thought that you needed a bit of help."

I sigh. Boy, do I. "Just trying to remember what kind me and my wife use."

"My husband is the same way," she tells me and extends her short arm to point at the bag of diapers with the double straps design. "Try these."

She's a woman and seems to know what she's talking about. It feels right, so I grab the double straps. "Thanks," I say over my shoulder as she strolls away with her cart.

"No problem," she responds before rounding the corner into another aisle. I watch her for a second. Guess chivalry's _not _dead.

Swerving to go into another aisle for any other groceries turns into a two-person collision as I stumble into someone who has their head down. She bumps into me, skips backwards a bit, and loses her balance.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I excuse myself as I reach with my free hand for the brunette's to help her regain her balance. She seems distracted by the ground, but I don't take a second to wonder why when she disappears from my vision and I've been met with another.

It's seems like a flashback; it's a hotel bedroom… there are two people. It's hazy.

I blink a few times.

It's me and Nessie. I have her by the hair and I'm—

Too flabbergasted to pull away from this stranger, I continue to be diverted. The next scene isn't much different. In fact, the surroundings are a lot more familiar.

It's… it's my house.

_My _bedroom, actually. It's dark and dimly lit, but surely it's _my _bedroom.

That's _my_ bed.

And th-that's Leah. And Bella. On my bed. They're. . .they're—she's _eating her out._ She's flicking her tongue around on Leah's clit while Leah squirms and moans.

_The fuck?_

I jerk away, stunned.

The stranger tries to pass me, but I grip her arm too tightly for her not to be a stranger. She turns away, but I'm convinced of something now. I bring her closer to me and lean around to look at her face. She's not showing much, but I know this fucking scent from anywhere.

Setting the diapers and box of PopTarts beside my feet, I slowly put a few strands of hair behind her ear.

I know these eyes anywhere, too; their fear speaks volumes.

"_Renesmee_."

She hides behind these new brunette bangs before lifting her face all the way. I gasp.

The shiner around her left eye is fresh, purple, and covers nearly half her cheek. The shiner reminds of the same one Seth had on his face when he came to me after that bar fight a few years ago.

As if the bruise weren't enough, her face is reddening from the scars and scratches start at her face, going down her neck. I look further and find a few fresh marks.

"_Ness_," I whisper, rubbing her cheek. "Ness, did he—? Where have you been?"

She shuts her eyes, embarrassed. Her form is shaking like a scared little dog with just me touching her like this. I lean in closer and lift her bangs. Her shudder is weak when I gasp again at the selection of marks and scratches he's left on her.

I back away to give her the space she craves, but my protective instincts are going off. I'm shocked. I'm confused. I'm fucking angry.

"Nessie, c'mon, it's me. Tell me."

Her lips quiver. She's petrified.

"I-I-I got away," she says, her voice broken. She doesn't even sound like herself.

I gulp. "_He _took you?"

She nods lightly, hiding her face from those who pass by. Ugh, this isn't a conversation to have out in the open like this.

"You escaped and the first place you come to is a grocery store?"

"I-I-I needed to be someplace p-p-populated. . .and with an ice pack."

"An ice pack," I repeat. I look around and about while she ducks her head. Man, we gotta get out of here. "Okay, can I trust you to go to the Rabbit and just wait for me while I—?"

"N-n-n-no, Jake," she stutters quickly. "You can't leave me alone. He f-found me last time and he'll find me again and I g-g-gotta be somewhere safe and—"

Her panic somehow relaxes me. "Shh, it's okay." I bring my forehead to hers. "I'm gonna take you somewhere safe, okay? Don't leave my sight, alright? Just stay beside me. We'll take you to your parents and the packs and your family are gonna figure this all out. I promise."

Her shakes and vibrations only get more excited. "_Jacob_," she whimpers.

"Hey, hey," I whisper softly. "Look at me."

She forces herself to; her face looks terrible. The pain has to be more than physical.

I rush with checking out the diapers and PopTarts, keeping a sharp eye on Nessie the whole time. She avoids my stares as we drive in silence to my house first to get Leah. I decide not to bother her with further questions because Leah's better at that type of thing. I think she'll feel more open to speaking to a woman than me.

Pulling into our driveway, I warn her to wait outside with the door ajar and holding my hand through the crack while I explain to Leah as to why she has to make the children wait upstairs. I explain it's urgent, and after sending the three of them up the stairs and assuring their doors are closed, she gasps at who's with me. Words cannot express her disgust when she takes in the scars on her face and neck. Nessie doesn't say a word as she side-shuffles, afraid, away from Leah, but she redirects the abused teen closer to her.

With this new event, I don't know how I should feel and why I feel that way: relieved that Nessie's home, angry that Nahuel did this to her, or betrayed and fooled because Leah cheated on me with Bella.

**A/N If you're a sensitive motherfucker, think every story should end with unicorns shitting rainbows and sparkles, and can't deal with angst, ****do not and I repeat DO FUCKING NOT read on. I get so fucking tired of reading reviews that are prissy and sensitive. AND DON'T FUCKING QUESTION THE PLOT like I'm making this shit up as I go. This particular story has been written, revised, and read almost a hundred damn times. If you can't deal, I'm _oh-so very sorry_. Was that too harsh for you? Again, _my fucking apologies. _**

**S/O to all my ride-or-die, loyal readers who are used to this crazyness. Get angry if you'd like, but _shit_. ****Love you anyway. Review, favor, and follow. ;D**


	24. Silverdale

Last time I saw Leah this gentle was when the twins were first born. Last time I saw Nessie this scared was when she and I confessed what happened in Seattle. Nessie looks at the ground while Leah sits before her, gently rubbing her knee and reassuring her.

"Nessie, you're safe here, okay?"

The teenager nods and keeps her head low.

"It's gonna be alright," Leah tells her. "Your family and I are gonna figure this out. I can only help you if you just answer some questions for me. Can you do that?" She sounds like a detective.

Nessie just brings her eyes to Leah's. "Yes."

"Where have you been all this time?"

"Alaska," she answers with a broken voice.

Leah nods. "You were kidnapped?"

"Na-Nahuel," Ness stutters. "He took me."

"He had you in Alaska," Leah puts together. "He did this to you."

She closes her eyes and sighs. "Yes."

"For six months."

"Y-yes."

Leah thinks for a second. "Why?"

Nessie tightens her lips and squeezes her eyes shut to avoid tears, but fails. Each drop descends over her scars and bruises and down her neck.

"Ness, you can tell me," Leah promises, sympathetically touching her arm.

It takes a lot of willpower within her to speak again. I await her answer.

"He found out Seth and I were back together and about J-Jacob and I."

I gulp, and it hurts on the way down. Leah hides her pain well as she nods in understanding and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear.

"That's it?" Leah asks.

Nessie shakes her head. "N-no. He, ugh, he's—" She covers her face with her hands and weeps.

Leah watches her cry to herself for a second, and then looks at me. I roll my eyes and forward them to the ground.

My wife gets from off edge of the coffee table to sit beside her. "Nessie, it's okay. Just tell me."

Nessie takes a second to get herself together before uncovering her face and revealing red and tired eyes. "H-h-h-he killed her fr-friend."

Confused, I lean in closer. "Whose friend?"

She sniffles. "_D-Doll's_. He killed Doll's friend because he wouldn't tell him where you and Seth were."

Chest emptying out, I have to confirm. "Carson?" I ask, and she nods sadly before burying her face in her hands again.

The horror and shock on Leah's face is enough to break my heart. I shake nervously and wait for Leah to ask another question, but her own eyes are watering.

"Why does he want to know where we are?" I ask now even though the answer is obvious, but I'm still not fully registering anything.

She wipes her eyes and sniffles. "He's planning on killing you and Seth," she tells me. "He has a plan. H-he's after the both of you."

Leah turns her head away and stays silent as her imagination wanders out the window. She's still in shock.

"Is he still in Alaska?"

She nods again and whimpers.

I take in everything she's told us and piece the puzzle together: Nahuel kidnapped her because he found out about Seth and our affair. In jealous rage, he demanded of our location from Carson, but for Doll's sake, he didn't squeal so Nahuel killed him. Nessie escaped. He wants his revenge. Maybe that ice bitch had something to do with this. Instead of bluntly asking, I ease Nessie into it.

"Anything else you need to tell us?" I prompt.

I expect a no, but she shuts her eyes and sets a hand upon her stomach under her baggy clothes.

"I'm pregnant."

Leah's head finally whips back around. The tears are streaming down her face in the bucket loads. I swallow. _He didn't._

"He, uh, did he—?" I begin but can't finish. My inner beast wants to get out, but he physically can't.

"He did," she replies, clutching her midriff in horror. "He did. Over and over again. I begged him to stop but he just ignored me and kept going—" She gets choked up and has her face back in her hands.

Leah shivers.

_I_ kept going and going, over and over, while she begged me to stop. She fucking begged me, but I kept going. I promised I'd stop if it hurt but I lied and kept going. She cried. I made her cry because of what I did.

Leah must see the connection, too, because she's staring at me, pain as deep as the ocean in her glistening, wet hazel eyes. My own eyes water at the memory but I ignore this guilt and redirect to Nessie.

"How far along are you?"

"Two months," she responds.

Leah grimaces and wipes her face. "Alright, Ness," she sighs. "We've gotta get you cleaned up. I'll take you to Carlisle."

Nessie seems willing enough to see her family. She hasn't smiled yet even at the mention of her parents. Leah instructs me to distract the children while she helps her out, so I bring the twins into Doll's room, and as the three of them watch cartoons, I stare at Doll, trying to figure out a way to explain her best friend is dead. She's got a bulletin board dedicated to her friends and Carson's picture appears more than once. That birthday charm bracelet he got her hasn't left her wrist for anything.

She's gonna be crushed. Her smile's wide now as Bronx hops in and out of her lap giddily, but what happens later?

After letting Ness use our shower, tending to her wounds, and giving her a change of clothes, Leah tells me she's taking her back to the Cullens. As her imprint, I feel as though I should come, too, but I think if I see Bella, I'll ring her neck.

"I'll be back later," Leah says as she and I watch closely as Nessie climbs into the passenger's side of the Rabbit.

"Okay."

There's a moment of silence between us. It's strained and awkward, but not in a usual sense.

Leah sighs as the wind picks up, whipping her curls about her neck and face. Her hands press the smooth strands down as they spiral out of control. It's little things like that that remind us why we nicknamed her Pocahontas.

"What are we gonna tell her?" she wonders.

I'm still having a difficult time gathering any of it. Carson's dead, so where are the rest of the Denalis?

"I don't know, Poca." I shrug and shuffle side to side upon the concrete porch. "I honestly don't know."

She steps towards me to bring our foreheads together and hug me.

My body is still shaking and my palms are still sweaty, but she doesn't comment on it. I feel wrong about everything right now, so I barely hold her back. At a time like this, I should be squeezing the dickens out of her but feeling as weak and betrayed as I do, I can't bring myself to have the passion. Her arms are linked around my back tightly like she never wants to let me go, but I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm an idiot.

She rests her head on my chest. "I love you, okay? I know I don't say it a lot, but I love you. Damn, I love you a fucking lot."

This must've scared her. It should've. The refusal to meet her eyes should be evident. I don't wanna look into them and break down into an apology I've given already.

"Love you, too," I whisper, and instead of a goodbye peck, she uses every aspect and corner of her mouth to kiss me goodbye. She even moans a few times, but I have to stop her before Nessie grows worried.

"Hurry back soon, though," I advise her while she wipes her saliva off of the rim of my mouth. "We still gotta talk about something."

She agrees and gives me one last heartfelt kiss before jogging down our porch stairs and into the garage. I watch her drive off until she's just a zooming dot in our neighborhood, and then shut the door.

The house is pretty silent.

I replay everything that's happened in the last hour.

Royce offered me a job in Silverdale, Nessie has returned with dark hair and a baby bump, Leah cheated on me with Bella, Carson's dead, and Nahuel is out for blood. Jeez, I gotta warn Seth.

Instead, I sink to the floor, back pressed against the door and mind racing. I can't figure out what I'm most upset about.

Shit, Carson's _dead_. How is Doll supposed to take_ that?_

Nessie's fucking _pregnant. _That sack of shit motherfucker raped her and she's carrying his fucking bastard. What's gonna happen with _that_? Edward and Bella are gonna raise all types of hell.

And _damn_, she cheated on me. _Leah actually cheated on me._ That lowdown, sneaky, vindictive, vengeful, little hussy! I actually thought her and Bella would turn me on, but I'm the exact opposite: disgusted and appalled. Was this before or after what happened with Nessie? At what point could they have been alone to even do so?

I shut my eyes. An hour ago, my life was perfect.

Standing, I check the time on my watch and decide it's time to start dinner. I force myself to climb up the stairs to Doll's room and grab Tee while Doll carries her brother. Bronx follows after us excitedly to his favorite room in the house.

"What happened?" Doll asks, kissing Jacob's face.

I sigh. "Nothing I'd be able to explain."

That answer is enough for her as she follows me into the kitchen. "Can I help you cook?" she asks delightfully as she swirls around on the tile with a perfect pointed foot. I listen to the cartoons and twins' laughter for a minute and then stare at Doll.

Nessie's face scared the shit out of me. I sympathize with Edward; it has to be every father's nightmare.

I take Doll by surprise in wrapping her as tight as possible in my arms, squeezing her hard like she'll disappear if I don't.

"Dad?"

I don't respond. My arms don't ease their grip. I can't bear letting this little girl go—ever. I can't let her turn ten because if she does, she'll turn eleven and soon twelve and then be a teenager—a wild, rebellious, disobedient, and carefree teenager if she takes any of mine or Leah's traits.

Then she'll be an eighteen-year-old senior in high school who got a scholarship into any college of her choice. She'll be off to her senior prom with a boy who she swears is the love of her life but soon regrets giving her virginity to because he cheated. And I'll be there when she cries about him.

Then she'll be off at college while Leah and I are at home with Tee and Jacob, our fourth child, and most likely another bun in the oven.

I can't let her go. I can't let her leave this house. I can't let her find somebody that becomes obsessed with her to the point of him hurting and scarring her pretty face. I'm never letting her go.

"Daddy?"

It takes a lot for me to physically let go. I hope I didn't raise her suspicion because right now, I don't believe she's ready to know the truth. I'd like to tell her after Leah and I talk about Silverdale a little.

After cooking dinner—and reserving a plate for Leah—and cleaning up the kitchen, Doll and I joined Tee and Jacob in their playpen where they would hand us a random toy and we'd pretend to be amazed by it to make the laugh. Then they'd scurry off with their thick and bouncy hair jumping all around their heads as they walk away excitedly to bring us another toy.

Tee hands me a building block and I widen my eyes in amazement. "Oh my goodness, Teigan! For Daddy?" I gasp, and Doll laughs as she receives a plush toy from Jacob.

Tee holds to my shoulder for support as she wobbles on her two feet. Her lips part, but I except slobber to come out.

"Dad-zee," she replies.

My eyes widen for real. "What'd you say?"

She's shy, but I get her by the waist and settle her in my lap then look down at the child. She smiles coyly.

"Tee, what'd you say? Say it again for me."

I'm not sure if she can understand the question at almost a year old. She finds it funny, so she just swings her itty-bitty hand about and smacks my cheek. I remove her hand before she can scratch me, but she still giggles.

"Tee, don't play with Daddy."

"_Dad-zee!_" she exclaims, repeatedly tapping my cheek. "Dad-zee, Dad-zee, Dad-zee!"

Jacob ignores his twin's first words and continues to give Doll his toys. Something tells me he's going to be a very low giver of fucks when he gets older. Doll, however, is just as surprised as I am. If only Leah were here! I mean, this is really exciting—Tee's first word was _Daddy_. This makes me reminisce on when she was born and how sensitive I got.

_My baby's first word was Daddy_.

"She said her first word," I whisper and tickle her chin. "Didn't she?"

A chorus of excited giggles erupts from her mouth as I begin to raspberry her tiny belly.

"You wouldn't happen to know my first words?" Doll wonders and helps Jacob onto her back for a piggy- back ride.

I pretend to think as I kiss Tee's bellybutton and the baby continues laughing. "Sadly no," I say, "but I believe it was along the lines of, 'What's in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other na—'"

She catches onto my joking tone and laughs with me while punching my shoulder playfully. "You're silly."

"There's a reason your mama married me."

Jacob's miniature fingers latch in between Doll's insanely long hair and before he can yank, I wrap my hand around his tiny waist and pull him towards me and in the process, he lets her hair go.

"That's not the best idea," I inform him, kissing his stomach now. He barely giggles, but pulls my hair instead. I yelp and Doll and Teigan laugh.

"You're a little sourpuss, ain't you?" I tease him.

"You're really not gonna tell me what's going on?" Doll asks, catching me off guard.

"With what?"

"Dad, there is something wrong, isn't there?"

Ugh, she's so smart. I put Jacob on my shoulder. "I'd rather not tell you right now. It's something me and Mommy wanna tell you together."

She doesn't seem too convinced even though that's the truth. "Where'd she go?"

"She had to visit the Cullens for something really important. You know how Nessie's been missing a few months?"

Doll nods sadly.

"Well, she's back. She got into some trouble and Mommy and the Cullens are helping her get _out_ of trouble."

"Are the packs helping, too?"

"I don't know if—wait, _what the hell did you just say?!"_

Doll cocks her head sideways as if I'm demanding much or like she'd said something wrong. I just don't think I heard her right.

"I just asked if the packs were helping, too. Like Sam, and Paul, and Jared…"

My expression must be confusing her.

"The wolves aren't getting involved?"

My eyes get even wider. "Doll!"

"Dad!" she mocks.

"How do you even know about—?"

"Grandpa told me."

_Really, Billy?_ "When?"

"When me and Mama first moved here."

"And you were gonna tell me when…?" I prompt.

She shrugs. "I thought you knew."

"Does Mom know?"

"If you didn't, I'm guessing she doesn't, either."

I feel like he's given her the sex talk. "Have you seen—? Oh my goodness, please tell me you haven't seen any of them phase."

Her face tells me that's a dumb question. "Dad?"

I shiver. My baby girl has actually been exposed to phasing. Where were Lee and I when all this was happening?

As if she was on cue, the door knob twists open and the first thing I pick up on is her scent. It's intensified because she's nervous.

"Jacob?" Leah calls, but the twins respond instead. She rounds the corner into the living room and instantly smiles at the sight of us. "Aww."

"Guess who said her first word?" I prompt.

She gasps. "Which one?"

"Little Miss Wolverine, with her claws," I answer, accepting another toy from her.

Leah kneels down next to me, petting Bronx as he lays and watches on the sofa, outside the playpen. "What'd she say?"

"Go ahead and say it, Tee," I instruct her, but she does that little giggly snort she does and pats Jacob's head.

"C'mon, Tee. Speak for Mama," Doll encourages.

All of a sudden shy, Tee covers her mouth and slobbers.

I shrug. "She said 'Daddy.'"

A genuine grin stretches over Leah's face. "How sweet."

She looks pretty tired for it only being seven o' clock at night. I guess I'll bother her with Silverdale tomorrow. Right now, she looks like she just wants to sleep to get this day over with. I can relate. Thank God that tomorrow's Friday, though.

"You guys eat?" Leah asks, and I answer yes.

"Great," she replies unenthusiastically and pops up from her squat to go to the kitchen. I stand as well to follow.

"Watch them," I instruct Doll over my shoulder. Leah's head is already in the fridge, but I can tell she's paying little attention to what's inside, so I shut it after pulling her away. She doesn't object.

"Tell me what happened," I whisper lowly so the kids don't hear.

She scoffs. "You know what happened."

"How are Edward and Bella?"

"Nessie's doing better than them. You should've seen Seth. He was there the second Carlisle called him and he was in tears."

I'm glad I didn't see that. "Her injuries?"

She runs a hand through her hair and leans against the counter back to me. "It wasn't just her face. Carlisle put stitches in her face, head, chest, legs, calves…" she explains, voice croaking. "He could've killed her."

"What'd the packs decide?" I question.

She sighs. "Double and joint patrols—every two wolves accompanied with one vampire—starting tomorrow night. We're spreading ourselves all the way into Canada now that he's after you, Nessie, and Seth. Rosalie's still a factor as well."

_That bitch._

I just stare at the back of her head as it hangs. Even though I'm angry, it's right to still be comforting and wrap my hands around her from the back.

The silence calls for something corny to happen.

"Seeing Seth actually cry at Nessie's feet makes me realize how fucking lucky I am to have you," she says.

"Lee—"

"No, I'm serious, Jacob. I don't nearly tell you I love you as much as you do me. I've neglected you and sexually starved you for some pretty selfish reasons, and just seeing how everything went down tonight, I realized that I don't show how much I love you anymore."

Finally, the truth comes out.

"Just being here is enough for me," I insist, but she claws her way off of me so she can face me. I encase her between my arms.

"It's not for me. I just feel like I'm not giving enough."

"You're an Alpha and we had twins. They're still babies. They need us. It's okay if you're tired."

"It doesn't seem worth it if I can't keep you happy."

"Don't worry about me."

"Oh, I worry," she chuckles and runs her hands along my sides. "I haven't been a very good wife lately, have I?"

"You're fine."

She grimaces. "Your dick isn't gonna suck itself."

Leah's tongue and lips have probably touched Bella's genitals more than my dick. I roll my eyes.

"I'm sorry," she sighs and rubs my cheek. Her smooth palm feels good against my stubble.

I'm instantly entranced as she holds my jaw in her palm and kisses me repeatedly. After a few pecks, my tongue slips in and her hand creeps to my neck.

I pull away to see she's still got her eyes closed and lips puckered. She looks so innocent.

Sighing away my anger, I lean over to open the fridge and grab her plate. I set it on the counter behind her and she watches closely and intensely as I bite my lip and head backwards to the exit.

"Meet me upstairs."

She blinks seductively and nods. "Okay," she agrees obediently.

Once she's out of sight, I hurry into the playpen to get both twins over my shoulders like sacks of potatoes, then dash up the stairs to put them in their nursery. Doll, confused, follows after, so I just take it upon myself to carry her and Bronx to her room and kiss them an early goodnight.

I get to our bedroom and undress myself down to my bare skin just to wait a few moments for Leah's arrival. There's a tent in the sheet where my waist is.

I can't get any harder at the sound of her excited footsteps. She burst through the door, jeans already unbuckled and unzipped.

The distance and hard eye contact we share between the bed and the door must be a test of temptation and self-control. Good thing we don't have any.

It's an attack of sorts when we pounce at the same time, collide, and don't even have the decency to get on the bed.

Her clothes are soon gone and it's just skin between us now.

I miss how she clings to me like this, with her nails so deep into my flesh and her head thrown back in pure ecstasy. I miss how her bottom lip quivers, her eyelids droop and flutter when my tongue is deep within, or how her hands twitch for something to grip onto but all there is are pillows and sheets. I miss how she rides me and bangs on my chest with balled fist because there's nothing to grab onto. I miss being over top of her and hearing her whimper for more as her hands scratch my sides. Even the little things like how her eyes would possess a helpless fear when I had her pinned against a wall or the floor were missed.

I think the one thing I miss the most is the sounds and how her moans would go from cries for more to whimpers and stutters, then result in silence, the occasional squeak and being so breathless that instead of my name, she just goes straight to screaming out "_daddy_" until we both climax. I love that shit.

It's been so long that this sex has a timeline and milestones. It's healthy and passionate because her eyes never leave mine the whole time, not even during the oral. She takes her time with taking care of me and making sure I get mine, so I do the same for her. This sex is different. It's patient and gentler. It's that "I missed you" sex.

It's that sex that makes you just look at each other afterwards instead of cuddle. It's the type of sex that lets you think back on passed shit and realize some fights weren't even worth fighting or you can't believe you ever said a bad word to or about the other person.

There's no need to talk afterwards because the silence is perfectly golden and loud.

She's been staring at me with sad eyes for an hour now. I just lay here and caress her cheek with my huge hand that covers her whole face.

She's got quivering lips now. I scrunch my eyebrows together in confusion. Did I do something wrong?

Her eyes gradually water with each second. I scoot closer to her and wrap my hands around the width of her waist and hips.

She tucks herself into my chest and begins balling. I don't say anything but just wrap her in my arms protectively as she holds on for dear life.

I bury my face in her hair and don't remember falling asleep like this, but somehow I do dream.

The following morning, I wake up with empty arms and nearly panic for a minute when I see the time on the digital clock, the sun creeping its shine through the curtains. Then I remember I take off every other Friday.

"Leah?" I mutter within a yawn and stretch. I sit upward and see that my morning wood is as attentive as usual. "Morning, buddy," I say to him.

I stretch myself further before just sitting there with my knees to my chin. A few minutes after eight, I hear Leah murmuring to the twins down the hall as they fuss with her. I press my morning wood downward enough to get him into my boxers and sweats. He pops right back up, so I wait a minute until he lowers himself because no one—especially my kids—needs to see me as hard as a rock.

Leah's got both of the twins on her wide hips when I meet her halfway down the hall. At the sight of me, her puffy eyes brighten and her smile matches.

Last night was great.

"Morning," she chirps, and her little grin is contagious. "I was about to give them their bath."

Tee fusses around in her arms, but Jacob just lays on her shoulder, eyes wide and thumb in his mouth.

"Great," I answer and reach for Teigan. Leah passes her along and the older twin latches around my neck like a chimp. "Sleep, okay?"

Leah blushes and brushes past me to reach our bedroom first. I stare at her ass as each cheek swishes in her boy shorts.

She's already got the warm water, soap, and bath toys ready when we put them within the tub. We sit outside the edge of the tub and watch the twins play with each other and their toys for a while until she glances over at me. I smile warmly and flick a few drops of water on her nose.

Halfway through, she pokes my arm.

"What's up?" I ask.

She hesitates. "I think we should go."

I look up at her. "What?"

"Silverdale," she replies. "I wasn't intentionally going through your stuff; I thought Nessie might've left it, but I just read it, and I think we should go."

Taken off guard, I try to explain myself. "I wanted to talk to you about it yesterday but things just go so crazy—"

"I get it." She strokes the suds from Jacob's head.

"Why do you think we should go?"

She shrugs. "Silverdale was actually brought up last night as a new patrol location, and it just seems safer for us to be there. If we stay in La Push, it makes it ten times easier for anyone to find us."

I nod. "You could really bear to leave La Push behind?"

She shakes her head. "I'd be okay."

We've lived here all our lives.

"And it'd be a nice learning experience for people that Native Americans still exist and we don't all wear headdresses, feathers, and have names like Sun Dance or Mighty Oak." She laughs at her own joke. I chuckle a little, too.

"You don't even wanna think about it?" I question, smoothing Tee's curls back.

"I have been all morning."

I really, really, _really_ don't wanna leave La Push. Even though Silverdale is only two hours away, it's two hours too long. "Are you positive?"

She bites her lips nervously and sets her head upon her arms as the rest on the edge of the tub. "Yes. We can look at houses up there next week if you want."

Well, her mind's made up. She doesn't wanna go, either, but I have to consider everyone else's safety.

Tee blows me a bubble with the suds on her face and I smile.

"Alright," I agree.

**A/N *sits by phone, waits for reviews* **


	25. 148 Years

**A/N I saw Bruno Mars in concert on Saturday so suck my dick.**

She stands here in the middle of the master bedroom with her arms crossed and a sour pout on her face whilst standing before the huge double window with an amazing view of the ocean.

Leah's less than happy about house hunting in a stage city on our two-year anniversary.

We have been looking for two weeks now, and nothing we've seen has fit her strict criteria and wish lists. Our real estate agent has easily grown annoyed, but because Leah is Leah, she can't give two fucks.

The first house we checked out was decent to the point of being able to live in, but the unfinished basement, ugly exterior, and lengthy distance from the school the kids would be attending next year were all deal breakers. House number two was actually kinda nice and had enough space for us and maybe even visitors, but with another unfinished basement and non-gated backyard—for safety of our three munchkins—Leah was turned off.

The houses in between the one we stand in now had all the same issues that perturbed Leah. The one house we did agree on was out of our price range and too far from the school, so we just can't catch a break. And it's an even more adventurous exploration finding a place like ours with nice high ceilings since she and I are freakishly tall.

I'm more patient than Leah, and even though I'd much rather be at my own house in La Push, celebrating my anniversary, I don't show my irritation.

"You like this place?" I ask, spreading my arms out to how much space I'd have.

"It's pretty big, and it's got a finished basement, and a pretty view of the mountains. It's alright," she mumbles and finally faces me. "What do you think?"

I stretch around some more. "I like it."

She nods slowly and stares at the ground. I hate when she gets moody.

"But you'd rather be in La Push," I add, and she nods.

"Leah, we don't have to m—" I begin.

"We do, actually," she corrects me and rolls her eyes. "It'd be a nice change and who knows? Maybe I can find some work out here."

Leah? Work? That's almost kinda funny. I don't think being called in every few months or so to get glamorous and have some guy take your picture qualifies as work.

She travels onto the attached bathroom and has little reaction to the spacious environment. It's a hell of a lot bigger than our bathroom; we can actually stand in here at the same time without climbing over each other.

"Whoa," I say at the double-sink counter space. She runs her fingers over the granite and glances at herself in the mirror. On the inside, she's excited about the possibility of having her own sink, but she'll never show it with the mood she's in.

Maybe I should cheer her up. That's what my marital description as a husband entitles, but even after a few weeks, I'm still pretty pissed about her and Bella. I can't even describe when a perfect moment would be to ask her about it. I don't know if it's wrong that we still have sex even though I constantly think about how Bella has been the same places I have. She's touched and licked every place _I _have. She probably even made the same sounds come out of her, too. Fuck, and she's probably screamed out Bella's name, too.

I sneer when her back is turned.

The sex, however, is still pretty good. We've got a lot of catching up to do, but knowing that some bloodsucker's ice cold fingers have actually grazed and caressed my Leah makes me more than pissed. I don't care if it is Bella. Leah's still mine.

One question that also remains is why did Nessie have that in her memory? She couldn't have been there to witness it. I think she'd have shown me what Nahuel did to her instead. Hmmm… I wonder if Edward knows or not, since he knows just about everything.

"Why're you staring at me like that?" Leah questions, staring right back through the mirror. I don't even realize I am until I blink.

"'Cause you're _so _ beautiful."

She doesn't seem convinced; the frown on her face tells me so. This anniversary does kinda suck.

I don't really wanna show her how angry I still am just yet so, I sneak behind her and bury my face in her neck. Her hair smells nice.

She keeps frowning.

"Smile," I tell her.

Her lips stay pouted even as she glances at Sarah's ring on her finger. "Two years already, huh?"

I nod. "And a hundred and forty-eight more to go."

Her face cracks in a grin. "That's not enough time."

My lips involuntarily peck her neck. "Please smile. You're so beautiful when you smile."

She blushes as my arms wrap around her waist. She holds onto them and swirls herself around to face me.

The innocence on her face makes it harder for me to be angry, though. I lean down and kiss her face.

I wonder if any other couple with two years of marriage in is this affectionate. It's not necessarily a bad thing that we can't keep our hands to ourselves.

"Let's go check out the other rooms," she suggests and grabs me by my hand to lead the way.

Down the hall is another bathroom, and across the hall are two rooms, maybe intended for children. The fourth room of the house is on the other side of the house, closer to a master bedroom.

"I guess these could be the twins' room," she says as she pokes her head in. I follow after, and I'm pretty amazed at the spaces. It'd be nice for them to have their own rooms at such a young age.

After examining the kitchen, family room, and living room, Leah and I check that house off of our list and place a star next to it, indicating it as a possibility. This is the third and last house we've seen today, so we quit the house hunt for tonight. The first thing we do once we get back to our hotel is video chat Doll, Tee, and Jacob while they're at Sue's.

We have a decent connection for a few good short moments until we all have to say quick goodbyes because the sudden thunderstorm knocks out our signal, which further upsets Leah.

Instead of at least pretending to be happy, she lays there on the bed with a bored expression of great annoyance.

I'd like to do something to cheer her up, but there's not much I can do right now that makes me seem more romantic than horny. And I'm _very_ horny.

If I knew beforehand that we were gonna be out of La Push on today of all days, I'd have planned something. I guess I can still surprise her when we get back to La Push on Monday.

But there's not much I can do in a strange town at almost ten o'clock on a rainy night. The most that I can do right now is slide into bed and suffer with her. I'd actually rather be fucking, but it looks like I'm sleeping instead.

Well, this isn't so bad. Smelling her body wash and mix of her natural scent are driving me crazy and I needed her naked, but since that's not going to happen, I'll just turn off the bedside lamp and jerk it.

* * *

Teigan stares back at me blankly in her high chair, the frosting taking over her huge cheeks, her tiny fingers and light brown curls. Cake crumbs surface her plate in a disorganized fashion, but she has no shame in throwing her arms about the mess.

I grab her arms to stop it and laugh a little when she smothers my cheek with frosting.

"Alright, someone's excited," Leah giggles behind me as she and Rachel enter from Sue's backyard. A slight whiff of the ongoing barbeque enters my nose, and I shiver in satisfaction.

"Lil' bit," I reply and release Tee's arms. At first, she just sits there, but then begins wiggling and laughing at the sight of birthday cake on my face.

"She's just happy it's her birthday? Right, Tee-Tee? I know, right!?" Leah uses that baby voice of hers as she lifts a dancing one-year-old Teigan up and out of her high chair.

"Where's Jacob?" I ask as I begin to wipe the high chair of crumbs with a paper towel.

"Seth has him. They're out back," Rachel answers while Leah passes Teigan into her arms.

I nod and begin to throw trash away from Sue's dining table. She's not gonna like the mess. Leah watches Rachel take Tee outside to be with the rest of the pack before helping dispose of the mess.

"Can you believe it's already been a year?" she asks with a chuckle. I smile, too.

"No," I answer.

It's been a whole year since Leah was grunting and struggling on Carlisle's table, squeezing and breaking every bone in my hand while Tee and Jacob squeezed their little way into this world, and I'm still in awe. Sue's idea of a birthday/going away party for us was a really nice thought.

"We got seventeen more to go," Leah reminds me as she tosses some stuff into the trash bin.

"Doesn't seem like such a long time," I reason and follow her into the kitchen where she's dragged the trash bin. The kitchen is worse than out there, so I begin putting away uncooked food and utensils.

"Mind you that you don't get to skip out on the first six years of their lives," she jokes, poking my stomach teasingly. "It's longer than you think," I roll my eyes and lean closer to her.

"Only nine years to go with Doll. You've made it this far," I point out. Before she can respond, Sue strolls in with some more trash. She dumps it in the bin and smiles at the sight of us.

"Look at my little adults," she jokes. "Jacob, I can take the cleaning from here. You can relax and go out back."

Translation: _I wanna talk to Leah_.

I smirk. "You sure? I'd be happy to help."

She shakes her head and gets a rag from the pantry. "Go ahead; enjoy yourself."

I put my hands up over my chest in defeat. "Alright," I say and bend to kiss Leah's forehead. "You girls have fun."

Leah's face gets red and heated as I pull away to round the corner to the back porch.

"_Oooh_," Sue coos, catching my attention. I stop in my tracks and back up a bit to listen in.

"Aren't you guys adorable?" her mother teases.

"Mom," Leah mumbles shyly. The sound of dishes clanking around in the sink can be heard.

"It's cute," Sue remarks. "You guys still good in bed?"

"Mom!"

"That bad, huh?"

"No, Mom, we're fine in that department. Trust me."

I hear some more dishes.

"Just making sure," Sue justifies as Leah scoffs. "So what'd you guys get the twins for their big day?"

"Just some clothes and some more toys, like they need anymore." Leah chuckles and the faucet runs for a second before switching off.

"That's nice," Sue responds. "You explain the whole moving thing to Doll yet?"

"She's not happy about leaving her little dance team, but we'll find a nice alternative in Silverdale."

"And how do _you_ feel about leaving?"

I imagine Leah shrug. "This change is gonna be exciting, I think. Maybe Silverdale will offer me something La Push didn't."

"Like?"

"Like maybe doing something other than being a housewife."

"Who'll take care of the twins during the day? I know how much you're against day care."

It's true. I discussed the idea when we were up in Silverdale, but she nearly had a fit. I'll never understand why she's against it.

"I'd wait till they begin pre-school to go looking for work," Leah replies.

"Smart. You still getting those modeling checks in the mail?"

There's a moment of silence. "I stopped getting those months ago."

"Why?"

"I quit."

"Why?"

"I didn't really enjoy it, and Jacob didn't, either."

Hmph.

"Oh. Well, I guess this is a good step you guys are taking. When're you leaving again?"

The faucet runs for a couple minutes again. "June eighteenth."

"Why so early?"

"We wanna get settled in before school starts. Ya know, give Doll some time to adjust and whatnot."

"Uh-huh," Sue says. "What's the house look like?"

Leah chuckles. "It's pretty big and it's got five rooms, a basement, and a backyard for the twins to play around in. It's near the beach, so it's not much different than La Push. I mean, it's a nice place but…" She trails off and I hear the cabinets squeak open along with someone opening the dishwasher.

I wait for her to finish her sentence, but she comes off distracted and doesn't. Sue just agrees and I'm lost. It's a nice place but _what_?!

"Yeah, I can see how that could be," Sue answers and sighs. "But the most important part is happiness right? Ugh, I'm gonna miss you."

There's another silence. I guess they're hugging.

"I'm gonna miss you, too, Mommy. It's gonna feel really fucking weird not being able to walk to your house everyday."

Sue sniffles. "It feels like you're leaving us again."

"I'm n-not." Leah's gotten choked up. "We're only two hours away, and we'll be down here every Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, and Fourth of July. I promise."

I listen harder and sigh below my breath. I should've known it was gonna be hard to say goodbye.

Hearing the screen door open behind me, I smoothly fake a swerve of my heels and rush outside, passing a few tipsy pack members as I do. Once outside, everyone greets and congratulates me. It's a bittersweet feeling; I kinda enjoy it.

With a healthier-looking, brunette, four months pregnant Nessie by his side, Seth carefully hands me Jacob, and I observe the smiles on both their faces. I grin a bit before sitting in a lawn chair with Jacob in my lap where he takes my relaxing state as an opportunity to begin actively playing with my face and its corky features.

While he's doing so, I take a quick glance around. Seth and Nessie seem to be happy; Quil and Jared are gambling again; Paul's bragging about something; and Teigan excitedly uses a Sam-less Emily's face as a drum. Upon scanning everyone, I stop on the swan in the pond of ducks, who I'm surprised has attended.

Bella's having what looks like an in-depth conversation with my dad by the shade under the tree Leah and Seth used to play under as kids.

_How 'bout that?_

I stare for a second until Billy quits talking mid-sentence and glances my way. He waves; Bella follows his gaze and grins.

Giving a half-smile, I wave back weakly until they resume their conversation. I look away and back at Jacob, who resembles more of Leah than me.

I sigh. "You think I should ask Aunty Bella why she slept with Mommy?"

He blinks as the drool dripping slowly from his pouted lips lands on his shirt. "Mommy," he repeats.

"Or should I just keep it to myself?"

He giggles and lifts his hands into his brown hair to pat his head. The drool continues. "Mommy!"

I take that as a yes. It's best to save the drama until old age.

"Alright, let's get you a napkin, buddy," I say and set him on the grass so we can walk at his pace towards the screen door. I open it for him and before he can fly in, I lift him up into my arms so his sneakers don't make noise against the wood floors.

He slightly giggles, but I stop him when I hear Leah and Sue still talking.

"...taking this step with him. You're absolutely positive about this?" Sue is asking.

"Yes, Mom," Leah insists. "I was absolutely positive March eleventh of two thousand twelve and have been ever since."

There's a silence. They're talking about me.

I keep Jacob's mouth occupied with my finger to avoid blowing our cover.

"So, there's nothing else? What happens in La Push stays in La Push?"

"Essentially."

"And you've told him everything? No secrets?"

"Yes, Mom," Leah says, annoyed. _Lies!_

There's another quick pause. "You even told him about Paul?"

_Paul?_ I look behind me through the screen door, and then listen harder.

Leah groans. "He doesn't have to know about Paul."

Oh, I_ don't_?

"Why not?"

"It's irrelevant."

"How so?"

What the fuck has she done now?

"It was before Jacob. C'mon, Mom, it was a long-ass time ago, so why even mention it?"

"Because they're basically brothers and it just seems like something Jacob should've known a long time ago."

Known _what_?!

"For what reason?"

"Wouldn't you like to know who he was with before you?"

With? _With?_ With. What?

"There was no one before me! It'd be none of my business, anyway."

I feel a lot of tension between them two for just being around the corner.

"Leah, don't lie. If Jacob had slept with Nessie before you guys were together—"

"Mom, I wouldn't care."

_Seriously?_ Paul fucked Leah? Leah fucked Paul? Leah actually fucking allowed him into the kingdom? He was in my woman? Did that creep cheat on my sister?

I swallow and swerve back around to the back porch.

That little fucking _trick._


	26. Summertime

I don't even think I have much else to say to Leah as of now. With the news about Bella and Paul, I can only wonder who the fuck else has been the same places I have.

There was Bella, Paul, Sam, and myself… who else? Quil? Embry? Shit, maybe even Rachel if she wanted to fuck with me.

I smile everything off for the rest of the night even as I watch Paul tempt Doll with a game of football in the backyard. I fake just about everything as Leah finally comes outside and lays with me on the lawn chair, whispering in my ear and rubbing my never-full stomach as I sip on a beer. Her hazel eyes have never seemed so deceiving as her smile is genuine but tricky.

She's not a hoe by any means but Sam, Paul, _and_ Bella?! Now that I know she's capable of cheating, where does that leave my trust? How the fuck do I know if she's sucking someone else off while I'm at work and fakes this perfect wife act when I get home?

I sip my beer.

She's not that girl, she's not that girl, she's _my_ girl. She's Leah. She's perfect. She's beautiful. She's a liar. She cheated on me. I'd be a hypocrite not to forgive her, but now I know how it feels with the shoe on the other foot. It hurts. It's emasculating. My confidence is at a low because she (my eyes begin burning)… she actually cheated. She went behind my back. And with _Bella_? The chick whose pants I wanted to get into at some point? Not to mention that she's a fucking girl, either. Is there something Leah needs to get off her chest besides her bra?

I take my last sip before setting the bottle on the top of the cooler beside me. Leah rubs my tummy some more and rubs her face on my t-shirt.

Maybe I shouldn't be upset about Paul. She said it was before me so what's there to be angry about?

I glance at him poke fun at Doll because she missed a play, and she brushes her hands under her chin and flashes them his way to say _fuck you_.

It's kinda funny how the only thing to make me less angry about stuff is the reason I'm angry in the first place. I look down at Leah and she's humming to herself. My fingers brushing in between her delicate strands of flat-ironed hair are the same ones that want to yank at those strands and lead her against a wall for a heated confrontation. I'm afraid I'll take it too far, though; I think I've hit my limit of hurting her.

Oh, why did Nessie have to show me that? How did she, actually? I would've been perfectly fine living in complete oblivion and continuing to think Leah was the perfect wife instead of a sex hungry, bi-curious, little minx of a woman. Oh, she'll screw Paul and finger-bang Bella, but it's a goddamn crime to jerk off her husband?

I shut my eyes to avoid them watering. Leah Anna Black is not about to make me cry.

I re-open them and take my hands from her hair because I think I'm ten seconds away from snatching.

She moans in protest and puts my hand back. "I love when you play in my hair," she purrs, so I continue scratching.

To distract myself, I direct my attention to Nessie and Seth. The two share a lawn chair as well while playing with the twins in their laps. Their smiles are genuine. Seth's obsessive possession over her has diminished to simple worry, and the frown she used to have around him is now a small grin.

The two months Nessie's been back have been great healing time. Her scars and scratches are fading, matching Leah's. I give props to how strong and mature she's been through all this, especially when deciding whether or not she wanted to keep the child. She told Carlisle she did because getting the A-word would've made it hard to sleep at night. Even though he's not the biological father, I think Seth'll be a great dad—it'll give him a little growing up to do.

It's sad that Nahuel is still out there searching for her, but I'd smile, too, if I had a whole vampire coven and a pack of wolves protecting me.

I'm suddenly knocked out my daze when Bella's voice interrupts my thoughts. "Do you mind if I steal her for a minute?"

The bloodsucker smirks sexily as Leah hops up off my chest with quickness and a big old smile.

"She's all yours," I mumble, even though I'm pretty sure they don't hear me. The two of them lock fingers and lead each other inside.

I wait until they're out of earshot to whisper cuss words under my breath. Shit, if I could phase, Bella would get the fucking worst of it.

_Bella, that little fucking—_

Shit, I need to calm down. All I need are details and then maybe I can sleep better at night. I wanna ask Nessie, but that's childish. When and how should I confront Leah? Before or after the move? I guess before would be good, so no drama folds over into Silverdale. Tonight, maybe? I need to get this off my chest because it's really starting to fuck me up.

We'll just see how the rest of the evening goes.

* * *

A few games of football, a couple beers, and a talk with my dad later, I'm ready to go home. It's nine-something at night and the munchkins are as tired as am I.

Finding Leah is the only trouble but I eventually find her when she and Bella skip down the stairs like best friends from doing God knows what. Bella kisses Leah goodbye on the cheek, and I wanna smack her lips off her stone face. My body language should say _don't touch my fucking woman._

On the ride home, I have to resist stopping the Rabbit to a screeching halt when Leah persists to tell me of her and Bella's conversation. I pay little attention, but every time she says her name, I growl and nod past the pain. My grip on the wheel has dented the leather by the time I pull into the garage.

"Babe, aren't ya coming?" she asks when I haven't unbuckled my seatbelt. Doll, Teigan, and Jacob have already begun making their way to the garage door that leads into the basement.

I nod and look over at her.

"Yeah, I'll be up in a minute. Just wanna listen to the radio a bit," I tell her, and she shrugs it off as she hops giddily over to my window to kiss my cheek.

"Be up soon," she warns me, and follows after the munchkins through the basement.

I wait a while before switching to the hip-hop channel, turning up the volume, and rolling down all the windows. I unbuckle myself to get out and shut and lock the garage door along with the basement door so there are no disturbances or interruptions. Once the mood is set and the lights are dim enough, I remove my shirt for a sense of self-familiarization and freedom. When I feel comfortable, I unlock the safe next to the mini fridge with its code—Leah's birthday—and open up to the smell of Quil's kush. This stash has been down here a good few months. I bought it way back when the twin's began walking and Nessie came back. I've been waiting for a good time to smoke it, but now seems as good as any.

I flatten out the paper and sprinkle the plant along the length of it before rolling it up, licking it, and inspecting it… Perfect. Upon lighting it, I shiver in delight as I take a nice whiff in.

"Shit," I mutter. Leah and I have always agreed to not smoke in the house, but fuck it. I need this. It's been two years and I'm a grown man.

I lay on the Rabbit's hood and puff away, letting my mind be set free and my nerves be put off their edge. The music has more clarity and bass, so I begin rapping along, and even though I can't hear myself, I'm confident I've got the right lyrics.

Half an hour in, the high thoughts start.

Like, is Leah really a lesbian? Did she make the switch because the heartbreak she experienced with Sam was too much too bear and she figured a female would treat her better?

Did she fuck Paul to ensure she had her fill of dick before she faced a life of vaginas?

Maybe before me, she went around screwing my sisters and Kim and then I came along and changed her mind?

She dated me for a year, I got her pregnant, she left, came back, we got married, and had a couple more babies—maybe the pressure got to her. She panicked and went to Bella for a release? Maybe that's fucking why we went on that celibacy shit? That explains everything!

I laugh aloud and put the blunt back between my lips.

Maybe she only married me for the satisfaction of kids.

I exhale and watch the smoke evaporate in the space between my lips and the open air. Leah's not a fucking lesbian and I'm just an idiot.

There has to be a reason as to why Paul hasn't said a word. Paul's the most braggadocios motherfucker anybody knows, so as to why he wouldn't tell all of Washington he got the sexiest chick in La Push into his bed is a mystery. Maybe they decided to keep it as an embarrassing secret. If that's the case, how does Sue know? Shit, am I the only one who doesn't know?

I inhale and hold it for a second or two before creating a tiny hole with my mouth. It oozes out gracefully.

Quil and Embry are two of my closest friends, so I think they would've told me.

I keep up the lyrics to the unnecessarily sad rap song playing and take a few more puffs.

So, this is what being cheated on feels like: useless, angry, and betrayed. Justice has been served surely. I did Leah in the worst.

I sit forward and puff harder. _Fuck this feeling_.

My eyes water and I let them. Sometimes you gotta cry it out.

Shit, we just bought our first house together. _Ugh, fucking why?!_ The tears roll effortlessly down my face.

Man, I've become a bitch, but regardless of how manly I think I am, I'm crying until it stops hurting. We might be here a while.

After smoking another blunt-and-a-half and jizzing on the concrete ground of the garage, it's after midnight. It is officially Jacob's first birthday.

I get my eyes together with the eye drops, put my shirt back on, lock my stash away, and then kill the Rabbit's engine. I drag myself up the basement and upstairs into the bedroom, where Leah's fast asleep.

My imagination Jacob has begun mentally yelling at her and shaking her awake. Imagination Leah, stunned, fights me off and it escalates into a heated confrontation in which she begins hitting me.

I tighten my fists.

After staring at her for a couple more seconds, I strip myself down to my briefs and get into the unoccupied side of the bed.

Minutes later, she tosses and turns around to which her body is laying atop of mine. I caress her hair.

I can't stand being mad at this chick.

She mumbles something in her sleep.

"What?"

Her snoring decreases in sound as her mumbling becomes more comprehendible.

"Huh?"

"_Jay-cub_," she moans, latching onto my hair as her arms reach further up my body.

"Hmm?"

"You smell like weed."

I shrug.

"I thought we agreed not to smoke in the house."

_Why the fuck should I answer to you?!_

Anger brewing, I just caress her neck. She shivers.

"I was actually in the garage."

That shut her up. It actually makes her turn back over to her side of the bed.

* * *

It's the summertime now.

That means the sun is out, the wind—if there is any—is warm along with the water. School's out for the time, being which explains the huge smile on Doll's face.

It's our first summer away from La Push.

It's. . .different.

We have a lawn that the kids and Leah can play around on. We have a bigger porch with better shade and the beach isn't too far. It's definitely not what we had in La Push; it's exactly what Royce said: a very family oriented area.

Even though its summer and far too beautiful outside, there's still a lot of work to do. Like painting and making this place our own. We're gonna have to finish painting the family room and the kid's rooms; finish unpacking all those boxes in the basement; go grocery shop—

"Hey, baby," Leah's voice is the first thing I hear when I stroll through the archway of our Silverdale paradise's entrance. I follow her voice into the kitchen, where the smell of the wet paint and fresh brushes are musty.

"Hello, Mrs. Black. How was your day?"

She shrugs as she drags the baby blue paint on its brush against the kitchen's fourth wall. I'm tempted to touch it, but it looks like she's almost done so I don't.

"_Así así._ How was work?"

"Work is work," I reply and sit at the kitchen table. The garage hasn't officially opened yet, but as a manager, I am to interview and hire and fill out all kinds of papers, and I'd rather not.

She brushes over the last corner of the wall and backs away to inspect the job she's done. She sighs, satisfied, and sets the brush in the sink to run hot water over it. After doing so, she finally turns around to sink between my legs and give me a proper kiss. I lean down to give her a real smooch, but end up just giving her a peck when I notice her attire.

"That's my shirt," I point at her chest, then her legs. "And my shorts." I look at her head now.

"The bandana's Emily's" she tells me, readjusting the blue garment that holds her hair out of her face.

"You don't have your own clothes?" I joke, and she just blushes.

"I haven't unpacked my clothes yet and I like wearing your stuff." Her coy grin pulls me in for another kiss, but this one is longer and more involved. My fingers ravel through whatever loose hair is escaping her bun.

Separating an inch apart, I smile and take in the golden silence. "Where're the little ones?"

She nods upward. "Doll's helping the twins pick out a color for their walls."

"Great," I reply and peck her quickly before she twirls around and puts the top back on the tin paint can. I marvel at her ass until she comes back up.

"Nothing else interesting happen today?" I further ask, reviewing her job on the walls. She thinks for a minute and nods.

"Some neighbors came over to welcome us to the neighborhood."

My eyebrows rise. "Really? Who were they?"

"Two women, actually. I assumed they were a gay couple, but they denied it when I asked and—"

"You _asked_ them?"

"They didn't mind. Anyway, they came over like a couple hours after you left," she begins and washes her hands. "They were really friendly, and I didn't know people actually do this, but they brought a pie."

"Really?" I interrupt excited.

"Nah, I'm fucking with you," she says seriously as she dries her hands with a hand towel. I chuckle and she continues her story.

"So, um, yeah they came over and they were really polite like, 'Welcome to our neighborhood,' and I was like, 'Aw, thanks,' and I introduced them to the kids. The three of us made a little small talk, like where I'm from, and you'll find this funny—they thought you were my brother."

I cringe. That's not funny at all. "Why?"

"They said we look alike," she scoffs. "I told you white people think we all look the same. You should've seen their faces when I told them my name was Leah and not Pocahontas."

"But that is your nickname," I remind her, but she disregards it. Living in La Push all my life with a predominately Native American and Hispanic population has given me the benefit of never having any type of racial stereotyping.

"But even though it was such a nice visit, I don't think they liked me," she adds.

"Why?"

"Well, that's just it. I don't know. They were saying I was pretty and how they should hold on to their husbands with me in town."

I grin. "It was a compliment," I insist. "Were you wearing that?" I point to what she has on now.

"No, I had on jean shorts and a half-shirt."

I give her a look, and she frowns when she puts two and two together. "Oh. I didn't think how I was dressed—"

"I don't think it's what you were wearing that threw them off," I say. "Maybe it was your body in general and how openly you express it."

"Meaning?"

"I'm assuming these women are, like, in the beginning of their golden years, and I guess one look at your tattoos, pretty face, and your perfect figure after three kids, they just got intimidated."

"Intimidated," she repeats and taps her chin.

"What were their names?"

"I don't even remember. White Lady One and Two. I'm still kinda tripped out that they actually just had the thought that I'd actually even think about their husbands like—"

I stop her sentence with my lips and pull away seconds later. "Don't worry about it."

"I mean, do I really come off as a homewrecker?"

_No, but you didn't come off as a cheater, either, but shit happens._

"Just forget what they said, alright?" I mutter against her lips before giving her another kiss.

She whines and pouts her lips playfully. "They thought you were my brother. The fuck I look like living with my brother at twenty-seven years old?"

I kiss her again.

"I don't even want their husbands," she mumbles and wraps her arms around my neck. I prop her up in the sink and hold her ass in my palms.

"I've got my own," she finishes, and I squeeze her cheeks. She moans into our kiss and slips me her tongue.

This is wrong. I feel like I'm kissing Bella but tasting Leah. It doesn't stop me from lurking my way around her beautiful body, lifting her and transporting us to another counter. Her legs are in a vice grip around my waist.

She moans my name when my lips travel towards her neck—the sweetest smelling part of her. Even in my baggy basketball shorts, her ass can't be lost.

"I've been waiting for this shit all day," she remarks.

I grin, planting kisses along her jaw. "You miss Daddy?"

"Mhm," she whines. "I've always wanted to fuck the boss."

My tongue runs smoothly over her collarbone in between nips. She throws her head back to make my way around easier. I'm nibbling on the most sensitive part of the crook of her neck, ready to strip and profane her in the middle of this kitchen when we're interrupted by the erratic knocking on the front door.

We both jump at the sound and deep down, I'm glad we were stopped; if I were to make love to Leah right now, in the heat of the moment, I'll say something I don't mean.

She laughs and rubs her neck after I let her down.

Then there's the surface of me who has a boner right now, and in no mood of meeting neighbors.

"Hi!" I hear Leah greet when the front door swings opens. I sit down at the kitchen table and watch the paint dry.

For just being here a week, Silverdale has already proved itself to be a nice place. Royce was right. I do miss La Push already, though. I never thought I would for have living there forever, but I miss my dad, my sisters, the pack, bonfires, First Beach, the forest, and shit, even the fucking Cullens.

But all that is two hours away. I think I'll survive without those details, but maybe this experience will be better for the family. It's already better for Doll and the twins because they haven't left the backyard since we got here. Leah's already scaring the shit out of our neighbors, and my wallet is a bit thicker.

On the outside, we're perfect, but every perfect family has secrets. All I want is a confession.

"Jacob!" Leah calls. I groan and make sure my wood is down before standing and rounding the corner to the archway.


	27. Dynamite

**A/N And it begins. The moment you've all been waiting for. **

The pay is great, but I'm already annoyed with my job. If I had a dollar for every high school dropout coming in here looking for a handout, I'd be a very rich motherfucker.

Ugh, but _fuck_, do I love being the boss! I love going to work in black slacks instead of jeans; makes me feel official and sexy. But these longer hours sure do kick my ass. I'm fucking beat by bedtime. Since becoming this exhausted, everything else prior to getting this job seems to have become ten times more relevant than it was before.

I still miss La Push. Word on the street is that at six-and-a-half months, Nessie's having a baby girl. Seth's pretty excited about adopting her, but I just wanna know if he'll pop the question and give us a reason to visit La Push for a few days. I wonder how Bella's doing without her little fuck buddy.

I should stop thinking about it. It's beyond fucking me up now. Everything Leah says or does makes me curious, and I have to question because I don't trust it. Even her acts of generosity and romantic gestures are suspicious to me. I've confided in Bronx more times than I care to about how much I trust her fifty percent of the time. When she says she loves me, does she mean that shit? Do our vows still hold weight?

"Jacob," Leah purrs as she squirms close to my side of the bed. I roll my eyes, but she can't see that in the dark.

"Jacob, you up?" she whispers as her fingers create a trail on my chest. She's horny; her arousal is all over.

"Yes, Leah?" I groan, but she giggles and scratches my sides in that way she knows I love. I melt a little, but inch away subtly.

"Play with me."

Her hand wraps smoothly around mine and from there, she guides my fingers to in her pants. All I brush are her satin panties before snatching my hand back, annoyed.

"I'm not in the mood, Leah."

She barks out a scoff and chuckle mix. "That's a first. C'mon, Jacob, just play with her a little bit," she slurs and gets my hand again. Lord knows I want to, but something about how she's going about getting the D is a turn-off. Is that how she did Paul?

I get my hand back more forcefully this time and completely about-face her. "Stop," I growl angrily, but she's fucking persistent. Next thing I know, she's climbing on top of me to reach my face. I shake at the contact. Does she not fucking get it?

"Nothing passionate, okay? Just a quick little nookie!" she giggles and kisses along my body now. This is wrong. She's in the wrong. Paul and Bella were just a quick little nookie, and now, so am I!

I shake her off of me. "Shit, Leah, you have a vibrator. Take care of yourself; you're a grown fucking woman."

My tone must've come off as harsh because she finally stops, and I feel her outraged eyes staring at my naked back in astonishment. I don't care. Fuck her. She's fine by her damn self. I don't want her touching me.

"We've been here three weeks," she reminds me. "When are we gonna—"

"Goodnight."

Her snort is out of annoyance.

"Bet you would've fucked Nessie," she grumbles under her breath and that is when—like in that one episode of Spongebob—the miniature Jacobs running around in my head all lose it.

They rip their button downs off and trash the cubicles known as my brain in vicious rage. The file that reads Leah on the front is undergoing a review and in need of a major debrief while a calm and collected mini-Jacob sits at his office desk, searching the web for a witty comeback while the other ninety-nine urge him to join them in a riot.

"If you're so horny, you should go to Bella or Paul."

_Boom_ goes the fucking dynamite.

It's a long, strained, and empty silence. It's not our usual golden after-sex kind silence. It's the shit-just-got-real kinda silence that is appropriate after a deejay scratches his record.

I lay and wait there until she speaks up. The question is, _will_ she?

"Bella?" she sounds confused. "Wh-what did you just say?" she stutters. The sheets wrinkle as she pulls them towards herself.

_You fucking heard me, you cheating bitch!_

"I said that if you are so fucking horny," I begin harshly, and sit up to turn the bedside lamp on, "then you should go to your little fuck buddies, Bella and Paul. Don't even fucking try to deny me."

The moment I finish, her jaw slowly drops and her lips quiver. She sighs and gasps in a panic as her form shakes and her eyes water. No need to cry about it now.

"Shocked?" I shrug and tiredly stare at her. The light hitting her face makes the tears ready to be shed in her eyes seem to glisten.

"Jacob, lemme ex—"

"Explain? _Now_ you wanna fucking explain?" I laugh at her and make my way out of the bed to get away from her, but she's quick to grab my arm while pleading no.

"Wait a minute, Jake. Just gimme a second to explain."

"So you know you've done wrong, huh? When?! Fucking _when_ did you fuck her?! And don't you dare lie to me!" I start with the yelling, letting out four months' worth of betrayal and mixed emotions. She jumps at my volume and lifts her hands in defense as she kneels in the bed.

"Jacob, w-wait," she stutters, and the tears begin. "A-and lemme explain."

I'm still shaking. Even though I put those tears there, I wanna keep yelling. I don't care now. This shit is too familiar.

"Explain what?" I shrug and refuse my eyes' need to water. She can't force me to feel guilty about anything anymore, so why am I about to cry?

"Explain that you fucked Bella? In my goddamn bed? You went behind my back and fucked someone else's bitch in my bed?!"

My volume is too much for her, so she cowers. I'm gonna wake up the kids at this point.

"Jacob, just wait!" she begs and covers her face. I wanna hold her and kick her out at the same time.

"I'm waiting," I growl through grit teeth, fist balled with my knuckles whitening.

She sniffles, but the tears don't stop. "It w-wasn't anyth-thing serious, baby," she says. "It wasn't technically ch-cheating, alright? It was just for fun, it meant nothing! It was an accident."

"An accident," I repeat, blood boiling. "Did your tongue accidentally fall into her pussy? And it's not _cheating_? Because she's a chick and you're straight, right? If I'm right-handed, but I punch the shit out of you with my left, it's still abuse, isn't it?" I test, and she looks too afraid to even nod.

"That's how you explain yourself? It was an accident?" I huff, beginning to pace around the huge room. "I thought you could be a big enough woman to forgive me for all the wrong I've done to you. I didn't know you had it in you to be so vindictive."

She shakes her head and holds her chest. "No, baby, that's not even it."

I wanna charge at her; I never knew it was possible to be this angry. "I just want the truth."

She sniffles and hides herself halfway under the comforter. "It was at my bachelorette party. Your sisters went to sleep and Alice left to hunt and Bella and I were just in bed—"

"My bed," I remind her.

"And it just—"

"Kinda happened," I finish, shaking my head and feeling my face burn. "Why?"

She hides her face behind her hair now and begins mumbling.

"Speak up!" I demand.

She jumps and covers her ears. "I was horny—"

I don't even let her finish. "And whose fucking fault was that, Ms. Let's Be Celibate Until Our Wedding Day?"

She runs a hand through her hair and we take this moment to just stare at each other. I fucking hate seeing her cry. Having her in my arms would feel so nice right now, but at the same time, I don't want her to touch me.

The pain is deep within her eyes. She can't even wash it out with the tears rolling down her face. Every second that passes between us feels like an hour before I speak up.

"Is this how I made you feel? Worthless, stupid as fuck, betrayed, and just all-around shitty? Desperate and confused a-a-a-and the lowest of all self-esteem? Insecure? Not good enough?" I ask, turning my back on her. She just sniffles.

"'Cause if it is, then shit. I'm so motherfucking sorry. I'm sorry more than you know."

"Jacob, I didn't do it to hurt you."

"Yeah, 'cause that makes it a lot better," I grumble and turn back around to see her head resting on her knees. She's shivering.

"Your bachelorette party, huh? That was two motherfucking years ago," I point out incredulously, making her hide her face as more tears form.

"The day before our fucking weddi—actually no!" I correct myself. "We didn't leave the club until after midnight so you had the balls to actually fuck this girl in my bed on the day of our fucking wedding!"

Her sobs are taunting. Enraged, I pace for her and she jerks back, afraid when my hand grabs her jaw and chin so she faces forward.

"Look at me when I'm talking!"

She blinks rapidly and places her hands lightly upon my chest in an attempt to push me off, but I remove myself and force her hands away.

"No, don't touch me, Leah," I growl and back away from her. She frowns and the tears don't cease.

"I've known for four—almost five—months now. I didn't know I had to wait two years for the truth. You know how stupid this makes me look? How stupid it makes Edward look? You think Bella told him? No, but shit, did we have our suspicions!"

She blinks and turns her face away to cry in her hands. "Jacob," she whimpers. I hate that sound.

I just hover over her, jaw locked and eyes watering. I wanted to phase so badly now that I've let everything out.

"Jacob, I didn't mean for you to get hurt," she promises, but I can't believe it. Not even as she looks me dead in my eyes.

"So that's why you didn't tell me," I conclude and pace slowly like a shark does its prey. "You decided to be sneaky. But because you waited, I'm ten times more pissed than I would've been two years ago. Ah, but this is where you and I are different!"

She observes me closely. "Jacob—"

"I told you the truth, didn't I?"

"Jake—"

"_Didnt I?!_" I roar.

Leah shuts her mouth half way. "Yes."

"The day I came back from Seattle, I told you the truth. I didn't want to, but a bold half-vampire once told me that if I had the balls to cheat, I should have the balls to confess."

That took big balls.

"Is there anyone else you've fucked throughout the duration of our relationship?" I prompt, not like I'll believe her answer.

Her hair falls from her behind her ears as she shakes her head no.

I scoff. "Ya gonna tell me about Paul?"

"How did you even know about him?" she seems to ask more herself than me. I don't answer.

"Um," she begins weakly and wipes her face. "Well, this was before you. We were at a pack meeting bonfire and Sam said something that pissed me the absolute fuck off and so I left. Instead of you coming after me, Paul did."

I try to reminisce on the pack meeting bonfires we'd had. Shit, I can't remember.

"I guess he had a little sense of humility because he came after me to calm me down and see if I was okay. He walked me home and when we got to my front porch, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me I was prettier than I give myself credit for. In the vulnerable state I was in, I took it as more and invited him in and—" She stops to look up at me and see if I'm listening. I wait.

"I fucked him on my kitchen floor…then in the living room…then in my bedroom."

Those are the same places I've fucked her.

"We promised to keep it a secret because we were pretty embarrassed and he wanted to protect my reputation as if being the only girl in a pack of shirtless guys hadn't already tarnished it."

That was a nice gesture.

"Then two weeks later, the twins came back home and that was the end of that."

"And that's the truth?"

She gives me a look. "Do you hate me?"

The wood creaks under my shifting weight. "You're my wife. What kinda question is that?"

Unsure, she bites her lip.

"After six years of believing I was never gonna see you again, it's gonna take a lot to make me hate you." My voice is hoarse from yelling.

"Are you gonna leave me?" she wonders.

That hasn't even crossed my mind, even through all of this anger and betrayal. The D-word isn't even an option.

"And go where? I'm stuck with you," I chuckle to myself, but she doesn't find it funny. Jeez, I was trying to lighten the mood.

Her head hangs in shame. I wish I could be as evil and strong as her by demanding she leave the house, but I don't have it in me. Her tears flow effortlessly.

"C'mon, Poca. Don't cry," I beg of her as I kneel into the mattress and wrap my arms around her. She clings almost immediately. Even with saying that, she continues to weep onto my stomach.

"Leah, don't cry. I'm sorry I yelled."

"You're so l-l-l-la-ha-ha-ha-ha-oud," she stutters breathlessly. I get off my knees to sit Indian-style before her. She melts into me while my hands soothe her.

"I'm so, so, so so, so, so, so, so, _so_ sorry, baby! I didn't mean to hurt you, I love you, I need you, you're the whole fucking world to me," she whimpers and I just drown it out as I stroke her head.

No matter what this woman fucking does, I'll always be weak regardless. She could try to murder me in my sleep and something tells me I'd be hugging and rocking her back to sanity, forgiving her just as I am now.

We didn't get each other's names inked on our bodies just to end up hating or leaving one another. What is Jacob without Leah and Leah without Jacob?

Those six years really fucked me up. Why argue when our time here is limited? Two years is a long fucking time.

Once she calms down and quits apologizing, I get an idea. It's been a pretty traumatic night and I don't wanna go to bed this upset. So in the nightstand I go and bust out the papers. We're plainly aware that weed doesn't fix everything, but feeling numb until the morning will suffice.

It's a puff-puff-pass type thing as we share the perfectly rolled blunt between the two of us. The lights are dimmed as they usually are, and the stereo is at a decent volume.

After each drag, we'd stare at each other, occasionally saying something to ease the tension. I remind her of how beautiful she is when she reflects on our wedding day and begins cry again. She apologizes another handful of times and yawns, the smoke escaping her mouth.

I cry a bit, too. Blunt in between her fingers, she leans over and kisses me softly on my cheek before blowing smoke into my mouth. I inhale deeply and from there the high thoughts start.

She confides about how much she misses her dad and that she believes that he and my mom have their own little fling going on wherever they ended up if it's not heaven. I find it slightly funny and it reminds me of what she told me about the neighbors thinking we're related.

I tell her about work and how annoying it is. She just rubs my back and promises it'll get better once business starts up. I wouldn't mind having her in my office while I work.

An hour goes by and it's already three in the morning. I've got to be up in three hours, but that doesn't stop me from finishing off the blunt and having makeup sex with Leah, ending our first—of probably many—Silverdale fight.

She gets to sleep with no issue, but I'm up until five-thirty watching a single blade on our ceiling fan make its round while reflecting what has happened. My short nails scratch in between her hair but this time, I have no urge to snatch.

**A/N Would you believe me if I told you this story is almost done? **


	28. 2017

**A/N Short, simple, and sweet. Please review. :D**

This summer comes and goes. We paint every important room in the house and get the rest of our furniture unpacked. The fall comes and goes as well. Doll starts fourth grade and co,es home the first day with a big old smile on her face. The winter comes and goes, turning Leah a year older and Baby Doll ten years old, leaving her single digits behind forever.

We take our first trip down to La Push for the holidays, where we stay in Edward and Bella's cottage, and there is a little bit of tension between my ex-vampire-bestie and I. I shield the truth from Edward because he seems too overjoyed with the birth of his first grandchild, Nessie's daughter, Alana—or just Lana for short.

With King Motors up and running now, my stress is at its prime, as if this being my last year in my twenties isn't nerve-wracking enough. I sigh now at that nearly unbelievable fact. Work isn't torture, though especially since I'm the boss and I've got a nice photo on my desk of Doll, Leah, and the twins lying on their backs, on the floor, with their naturally curly hair spread everywhere as the camera is angled at a bird's eye.

Soon, it's my third anniversary. Because we didn't have much of one last year, I treat Leah to whatever her little heart desires, which includes dinner and a lot of shopping, which avoids a few more fights.

And not before long the twins turn two, where Jacob thinks he's Tarzan, and Teigan is convinced she's a fairy princess hence why she tries to ride Bronx as her noble steed and wears tutus. They're cute phases the two of them are going through.

That spring turns into another summer, which evolves into another fall, following another winter, bringing in a new year, Doll's eleventh birthday, Leah's twenty-ninth, and my thirtieth. Two thousand fifteen was a great year in my opinion, considering I haven't found a grey hair yet.

From there, it's our fourth anniversary—which is pretty good—and another birthday for the twins. Another summer passes—this one spent in La Push—and my firstborn enters middle school that fall. It's a tear-jerking event seeing her being promoted from one school to the other. Time flies. Leah is pretty emotional, too.

The seasons make their switch as usual, and another year of Black shenanigans passes. The twins are finally hitting that peak where not only do they begin to look alike, but their personalities are shining through. Jacob's always been a quiet and reserved mama's boy while Tee is what she perceives herself to be: an attention-loving Daddy's princess. As they grow, I see who has what in terms of personalities. Jacob is definitely my twin while Teigan has Leah written all over her. Doll is a beautiful mix of both but sometimes; she can deliver some old world Sue Clearwater charm.

Doll finally turns twelve and the little girl I met six years ago has turned into a snarky, sarcastic, witty, independent pre-teen who looks more and more like Leah everyday. Within the winter months, I turn thirty-one and Leah hits that three-zero with no complaints. She worries little for her youth because she's young at heart.

The past three years whip by so quickly that it's made the illness seem like nothing. All I need is  
my medicine and everything will be okay. I wish we had found that out sooner and before all the fights and the harsh words Leah and I exchanged in the heat of passion. The doctors think it's a mental thing, but it can't be. It's physical, too. I'm unusually tired, there's banging headaches, random muscle cramps, chest pains… As far as anything mental goes, all I have is bad dreams that make me sleepwalk, violent outbursts for stupid reasons, flashbacks, hallucinations, and talking to myself.

Basically anything un-Jacob-like. My behavior has been incredulous and not only does it scare my family, but it scares me as well. The most frightening part is when I couldn't control it.

I'm diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome a few weeks after our third anniversary when I have this really graphic and lucid nightmare that causes me to sleepwalk into the bathroom and bash the mirror in. Leah, shocked and very scared, instructs Doll to watch the twins as she takes me to the hospital to fix my hand. The doc runs a bunch of test when I told him I've never sleepwalked before and all the other symptoms. The incident worries Leah and I, but the doctor just informs us that this kinda illness comes with age and stress. Great.

We don't find medication necessary until fights and lashing out occurs. I mean, I'd get really fucking angry for no reason to the point of threatening to hurt Leah, which threatens the wolf within. I know I need help the day I come home from work and overhear her crying on the phone with Rebecca about how I've changed and that she doesn't believe I don't love her anymore. This truly hurts my feelings because this disorder is involuntary and no one loves Leah more than I do. She's the last person I'd ever wanna hurt.

So I'm prescribed some white happy pills and I've been on them for three years now. They keep me level enough to function, but if I don't take them, the symptoms come in full swing. It's worrying, I know, which is why we set out for more much needed answers. This thing I've had all this time is beyond medicine. It's linked with something higher than any of us. There has to be a reason I'm suffering from this and not Leah.

So we go to Carlisle.


	29. La Push

**A/N TELL ME I'M YOUR NATIONAL ANTHEM. **

"Why do you have so many eyes?"

I scrunch my eyes together. "What?" I chuckle and follow his fingers as they loop around my face drunkenly.

"You have, like, fifteen eyes, Lee," he slurs and laughs at my expression.

"Fifteen, huh? Shouldn't that be an even number?" I kiss his hand as it caresses my face.

"No!" he exclaims, eyes widening for a second then returning back to their drugged slant. "You're a Cyclops! Like...like...like Mike Wazowski!" he cheers.

Carlisle laughs behind me and I turn to him, leaning on Jacob's hospital bed as I do.

"How much of this did you give him?" I ask, rubbing Jake's hairy arms. Carlisle thinks for a second before getting back to his clipboard.

"A lot," he answers. "He's a big man so it's gonna take a bit to completely knock him out."

I nod. "When should he be out?"

"_Out?_ We're going out? Where we goin'?!" he cheers again, and his voice hits a very gay level that makes me chuckle.

"Soon," Carlisle answers and heads for the door. "I'll give you two a minute," he smiles kindly and exits the room to prepare.

Jacob's going into surgery. After tons of tests and simulations, Carlisle found some mutations and what I'm assuming are tumors along his spine. They've been developing for months and the medication the Silverdale doctors gave him have only been tending to his psychological and mental issues. The tumors are the reason he's been so physically weak, and they grow at a steady pace. Luckily enough, they're benign, easy to remove, and easy to keep off with more medication.

Even after Carlisle gets them off, he's gonna need a whole lot more tests run, which means we can be in La Push more often. I just don't like being in Carlisle's hospital room; I just wanna know what's wrong with Jake.

"Lee," he gruffs and reaches for my hand. I loop our fingers.

"Yes, baby?"

He sighs and closes his eyes fully. "If I die from this—"

"Don't say that."

"Just listen to me." He caresses my thumb. "_If _I don't make it out of this, I just wanna say I'm sorry."

"S-sorry?"

"I've been a pretty shitty husband. And I'm sorry I put you through the shit I have. You"—he points blindly at me—"are the best thing to happen to me, okay? I'm sorry I got sick."

"It's not your f—"

"It is. I sh-should've taken better care of my body and stuff. If I don't make this—"

"Quit being so dramatic," I urge him, but he shrugs.

"Gimme a kiss," he slurs and presents his cheek to me. Hesitant for a second, I lean over the barriers of the bed and press my lips under his right eye. He smirks.

"We're gonna figure this out together, okay?" I run my fingers through his hair and kiss his cheek.

"I love you," he states, drifting.

"I love you, too."

I expect another answer, but he doesn't respond. He's out. I stare for a few minutes before letting his hand go and sighing.

Carlisle enters minutes later with his surgery gear on an a few nurses behind him. "He's out," he announces to his assistants as he pushes Jacob's bed away. Before he can exit with my husband, I stop him.

"Take care of him please," I beg of Carlisle, and he just smiles under his face mask before touching my shoulder reassuringly.

"He's in good hands."

I nod and glance quickly at Jacob.

"I know."

Even as the trustworthy doctor rolls him away, a sharp chill lurks up my spine. Jacob's words really scared me: _if he dies from this_. Carlisle reassured me already that this procedure is simple, though, so I shouldn't worry.

Or maybe Jacob meant the bigger picture and not just the surgery. What if Jacob is actually dying and we can't run enough tests before the worse happens?

I sigh again and sit in the hospital chair parallel to where the bed was.

It's been six years since I was in this very room, sobbing because I thought I killed Jacob with my harsh words and inappropriate behavior. Time sure does fly.

I put my face in my hands.

I'm still fully convinced that I'm killing this man. He's in surgery right now because of me and my bullshit.

Why did he have to say that? Why does he have to think that way?

"Mommy," Tee's high-pitched voice calls from the glass door I never even heard Sue open. "Where's Daddy?" she asks as she, Jacob, Doll, and Sue file in with Seth lagging behind with little Alana gripping on his hand as she tries walking.

"Daddy went into surgery," I answer as she hops into my lap and instantly begins playing in my hair. Sue sits next to me while Seth pulls up a chair from the corner and sits with Lana in his lap, who looks more like Bella than Nessie.

"Is he okay?" Sue asks now, lifting Jacob into her lap.

"Yeah, Carlisle said the procedure's gonna be really quick and easy. After he gets out of surgery and has had enough rest, Carlisle's gonna run some more simulations for his brain."

Sue nods in understanding.

"Mommy, what's a simutalion?" Jacob asks now, playing with Sue's rings.

"It's like when a computer makes something seem real," I explain the best I can to my husband's mini-me. He nods before asking another question.

"Did Dr. Carly find out what's wong with Daddy yet?"

Doll looks at me this time, awaiting my answer.

"Not yet, Jake," I answer. "He will soon." I hope, at least.

Sue and Doll can see through me; I don't wear a very good poker face. Jacob and Teigan have an idea, but they're still too naïve to realize how serious any of this is. Seth pretends not to get it, but he does. He gets that me driving up to La Push every weekend to see how Jacob's doing is serious, and that this is the most important thing in the world. The fact that he brushes it off and even Paul, La Push's biggest joker, is taking this sternly pisses me off. Seth will hold this grudge forever and won't let it go for shit, not even if his best friend is facing his final days right before him.

My leg shakes and Tee bounces for a few second before hopping off my lap and climbing into Doll's.

Doll is pretty silent nowadays. Her and Jacob are as close as any father and daughter could be, possibly as close as Harry and I were. They share this bond I'll never understand.

Her general expression has been either a frown or a sad smile lately. It hurts that she blames me, or at least I think she does. She's old enough to understand but young enough to not get involved.

I watch mine and Jacob's kids before glancing over my shoulder to Seth, who's rubbing his knuckles against his adoptive daughter's arms. She's fallen asleep in his arms.

Sue must've followed my gaze. She clears her throat. "Seth, why don't you take the children downstairs? I need to speak with your sister alone," she announces, and sets her grandson on his feet.

"Okay," he drawls the word out, confused as he gets up with Alana on his hip and gestures the entire brigade out the door. They all follow productively while Doll just looks behind, worried. I wink at her.

Sue waits until they're all out of earshot. "Staying in La Push tonight?" she begins.

I shake my head. "I gotta get Doll up to Silverdale. She's got school tomorrow."

"Well, what's a day of school?" she asks rhetorically and looks to the ground. "Did Carlisle say anything else for today?"

"Just that the tumors surrounding Jake's spine could be another reason he's been this way."

"How?"

"Well, they're on his spine, near his nervous system, which is connected to his brain. Carlisle thinks they've been growing for a while now, but we can't figure out what they are, where they came from, or what they do," I explain, wondering what point of the procedure they're on in the next room.

"Oh. He's still taking the medicine the other doctors gave him?"

"I don't think so. Carlisle thinks it's making it worse. It keeps him level and stuff, but when it wears off, he turns into a monster."

I blink away a distracting flashback to hear what Sue has to say, but she doesn't say anything. What else can she say?

"Mom, what if I can't bring him home?" My beyond broken voice asks her, making her head swish around to face me.

"C'mon now, Leah," she tries to assure me, but I stop her.

"No, really, Mom what the hell do I do if something else happens to him and he can't even do anything for himself?"

Sue exhales. "You take care of him. It's what Sarah would've done for Billy, and you'd want him to do the same for you, right?"

"Of course. Sue, what if he _dies_?" I choke over the word. Why'd Jacob put that thought in my head?

She pats my back and rubs cautiously. "Jacob's not gonna die."

"If," I repeat and twiddle my thumbs. What is Carlisle doing in there?

"Bury him," she replies matter-of-factly.

"Obviously," I sneer and roll my eyes.

I can't ever bear the thought of doing anything of the sort at this age. If it has to happen, this should be happening fifty or sixty years from now. I'd be complete with putting Jacob in his casket and riding around in his hearse as an elderly, graying, and withered woman with multiple grandchildren and great-grandchildren and shitload of wisdom. Not now in my early thirties or when our little ones need him the most.

"What if Carlisle does fix him, right, but I mean drugs him out to the point of oblivion and he's just not himself?" I think about it.

"Get him a Snickers," she jokes without humor.

I blink slowly and look towards the ground now, too. "I can't bury him. I can't."

"You probably won't have to," she says tenderly, but the grim look on her face suggests otherwise. I blink away tears now.

"I don't know what to do, actually." Jacob could be dying and it's my entire fault.

"Just honor your vows," she advises me. "What was it again? Ride or fly? Die—"

"Ride or die, fail or fly," I correct her, and she nods in agreement.

"Exactly."

Sue's right as always. I'll ride with Jacob through anything; I've been enduring it for three years now. Without that medicine, Jacob is evil and it's quite unfortunate that he needs drugs to be sane.

"What am I mentally gonna do if something happens to him? Yeah, I'll bury him, but what about up here?" I tap my temple.

"Don't assume the worst."

I cannot—will not—bury Jacob anytime soon.

Sue sits with me for another half hour in silence until she checks the time and leaves to get dinner for Charlie since it's reaching evening time. Bella visits for a second to see if Jacob's out of surgery yet, but we end up talking for a second. Edward's still been pretty mad at her lately about our little incident.

Seth checks back in without Lana this time and with a few pack members instead. They stay with me a while, then Nessie follows afterward to see how I was doing. Somehow seeing her face makes me feel a little bit better.

And then I'm alone. I enjoy it this way. For the past eight months since Jacob began Carlisle's treatment, everyone's been looking at me with pity and sympathy because of my situation with Jacob, and it's nice being by myself with only me to judge me.

The looks are familiar; I received the same ones when Sam broke up with me from most of the same people. Why am I used to it, though? I can't keep a man for shit, but I've ridden with all the ones I've had.

I rode with Sam when he had nightmares about his dad or when he was caught smoking weed and got arrested by some cop outside of La Push back in the day. Who was there to bail his dumbass out because he was scared to call his mom? That's right—me.

But this shit with Jacob has been the ultimate test of loyalty. Never once did I ever think about leaving him when he would get at his worst with the name calling, the wall punching, and emotional abuse. Apologies were rare but when they did come about, they were sincere. I didn't think Jacob had it in him to be as cruel as he was. I don't know if it was me being weak, but I'm glad I stayed. I have no other choice. My vows meant something.

Another hour flies by until the glass door swings back open and Carlisle enters with his cap and mouth piece gone. Jake's hospital bed follows in after him along with a handful of nurses who are assisting in setting his bed back in place. Jacob's half-awake with a huge grin on his face. I glance at him quickly after all the nurses leave, prepared to climb into bed with him, but Carlisle catches my attention instead.

"So what's up now?" I ask the doc as he grabs that clipboard again and jots down some notes.

"He's alright," he answers. "The tumors are gone now and shouldn't come back with the help of some medication. Once he's up, we'll run some tests on the treadmill then once my assistance finishes the brain simulation—"

"Exactly what is the simulation?" I sound like Jacob Jr. asking him that.

"Leah," Jacob sighs at the sound of my voice so I stand and rub his limp hand as I lean again the hospital bed.

He sets the clipboard down on the counter and checks his heart rate on the monitor. "We're testing his mental state and following a quick theory I conducted about his train of thought."

"Meaning?"

"We're gonna see how each section of his brain works and how his thoughts connect to his actions and relationships."

That's a smart idea. "How're you gonna do that?"

"Quit talking about me like I'm not here," he mumbles and his cheeks turn red.

"We're just gonna hook him up to a sensory headband and display some images and give him some scenarios on a screen and base our data off of his answers and brain activity."

"You make it sound easy."

"It'll be a while. You know you're always welcome to wait," he reminds me and friendly wiggles his eyebrows. I grin and look down at Jacob.

"Jake," I begin.

"Carlisle, that almost sounds like Leah," he tries opening his eyes but decides to keep them closed.

"It _is_ Leah," I respond and he turns his head in the slightest to peek at me.

"Oh," he growls lowly while clearing his throat and turning back to Carlisle.

"Doc, who's that?" he lamely points at me and I scrunch my brows together.

Carlisle chuckles. "Your wife."

It takes him a second to register that. "My wife's name is Leah?" he says and looks back at me.

"Oh, she's pretty, Carlisle," he states and can't even smile without drooling. I hide my laugh.

"Can I keep her?"

"If you'd like," Carlisle answers nonchalantly, and I laugh again.

"How long is he gonna be loopy?" I ask while running my fingers through his hair.

"I'd give it another few minutes. He'll fall asleep soon."

"Okay," I say and kiss Jacob's forehead. "I'll just wait here, then."

Before Carlisle replies, the glass door squeaks open and a male nurse enters halfway.

"We got that simulator working, doc," he informs Carlisle, who nods happily and eyes me when he leaves.

"What?"

"Do you mind being our test subject?"

"For?"

"The simulator," he answers.

"How?"

"It's just like I explained," he says and heads for the door and I follow.

We only go two feet into the next room over, which looks similar to the one we just came from. He gestures towards a machine set on the marble counter next to a printer and facing a large white screen on a monitor as if it were a projector. An office chair is pushed against the counter as well.

I stare at how speedy the nurses work and how they make sure everything is functioning. I recognize a few of them.

"Jacob's gonna be hooked up to this?" I point and stay out of the way while Carlisle pulls something up on the desktop connected to the white screen.

"Would you like to try it?"

I shrug. "Um, sure." Wouldn't hurt to get my own brain tried out.

"Great," he says, eyes never leaving the desktop screen. "Have a seat, then."

I carefully sit and get comfortable in the office chair. A female nurse connects a cord attached to a socket of a thin, silver band into the machine on the counter before placing it around my forehead as if it's a tiara. I have to hold my hair down for it to fit properly.

"Alright, Leah, it's just how I explained," the doctor states just as the lights in the room go out and the white screen brightens before me. The printer revs up behind me.

"I'm gonna show you some pictures of some people and the band you're wearing will record your brain activity. Just relax and try not to think voluntarily."

I nod and stare at the screen until it dims slightly and a candid of a tipsy Jacob at our reception pops up on the screen. I can tell he's tipsy by rosy tint of his cheeks, stupid grin, and distant look in his eyes as he holds his drink up in a toast.

I can feel myself blushing and I bite my bottom lip. God, he's so handsome.

The printer does a few beeps and the couple of nurses spectating what's going on behind the desktop giggle. My brain must be going haywire.

The screen quickly flashes to the next image, which is a picture of Doll crouching and posing with Tee and Jacob at her graduation for the last day of fifth grade. She's got her hair down and Tee's too distracted with playing in it to pay attention to the camera. My cheeks stay red while I hide another grin. They're perfect.

The kids stay on the screen for a short while more before they disappear and Seth pops up, lounging tiredly in a chair like the one I'm sitting it, next to what I believe is a hospital bed. This must be from when Nessie had Lana. I chuckle at his half-present expression and reminisce on when I had the twins. He's too adorable.

The other images Carlisle pulls up are more candids of the pack, my parents, and even some of the Cullens. Reviewing my brain activity is kinda fascinating as Carlisle explains to me what the scratches and lines displayed on the printer paper and computer screen are. The higher the lines indicate the most brain activity, and each section of my brain is color coated.

"Holy shit," I gasp at how the lines are spread and sprawled about the screen.

"Your brain responded most to the picture of Alex, Teigan, and Jacob Jr." He shows me the data and I'm not shocked in the slightest.

"Damn," I say and smile. "What about Jacob?"

He scrolls downward and I stare at the screen. "Second highest."

"Figures," I chuckle and observe the other data carefully to see my parents came in third. "Where'd you get these pictures, anyway?"

"I asked Sue for some copies after we got the simulator running for the first time."

"Hmph," I hum and raise my left eyebrow.

"Dr. Cullen, he's up," a female nurse rushes into the room and announces.

"Thank you," Carlisle says warmly and pulls up a different page on the computer with a couple of clicks. "Would you help him get dressed, then?"

At the sound of that, my head jerks up from over Carlisle's shoulder to the eager female.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I extend my arm forward and point at her before she can even turn to leave. "Pause. You go instead," I instruct to a random male nurse who's turned the lights back on. "You stay."

Confused as to whose orders they should follow, the two refer to Carlisle who looks to the male and nods to the next room. He leaves and I give the offended female a "sorry 'bout it" shrug.

"You know we're really professional around here so there's nothing you have to worry about," Carlisle whispers with a chuckle and runs a hand through his golden hair.

I click my tongue and shake my head. "Wandering eyes lead to wandering hands which leads to my hand slapping someone upside the head."

He finds that pretty funny, but I'm not kidding or trying to be funny.

The glass door creaks open about five minutes later, and the male nurse enters first with Jacob lagging behind. He's wearing his favorite grey sweatpants, a black Run DMC t-shirt, and a huge smile when he lays his eyes on me. I smile back and stride over to him for the hug his arms are waiting to give me.

"Hey, girl," he murmurs and kisses my head as my arms loop under his to connect behind his back. "I thought you left already."

I shake my head and kiss his lips quickly. "Naw, I wanted to wait until you woke up."

"Oh," he blushes almost as deep as he did in the photo Carlisle showed me. "Where're the munchkins?"

"Downstairs with Sue. How're ya feeling?"

"I'm alright. Little groggy though." He rolls his eyes and stretches his arms, releasing me from his embrace. "Back feels weird. Check out my stitches."

As he says that, he lifts the hem of his shirt to take it off, but I stop him. I really don't wanna see that.

"Eh, maybe later. Carlisle's got a little test thing for you," I purposely change the subject and point to the machine so the vamp can begin explaining. Once he goes through the procedure and Jacob has the band around his head, another nurse flicks out the light and Carlisle invites me to stay to watch.

The first image displayed is a shot of me caught off guard at the wedding reception, where I'm sipping a glass of wine and I have that judging look in my eyes as I sit at the bridal table. Shit, I look kinda pretty.

Jacob's face turns a coy red and stays red throughout pictures of the kids and his mom. His grin diminishes as Carlisle shows pictures of Nessie and Bella. Embarrassed, I look to the ground and avoid anyone's eyes.

The test ends with pictures of the pack and once the paper quits printing, I take the band off Jacob and hand it to a nurse. He stands and kisses my cheek.

"That was interesting. Where'd he find those pictures?"

"Sue," I answer. "Wanna see your data and brain act—"

"Actually," Carlisle interrupts almost too abruptly and clicks his mouse frantically. "Jacob, do you mind running a few more tests before doing so?"

Jacob shrugs nonchalantly. "I guess. I'm gonna go see the kids for a minute." He points towards the door with his thumbs and begins his post-surgery shuffle to the door, which one of the nurses holds open for him. I watch him leave and once he's out of sight, and Carlisle instructs his nurses to set up the second part of the simulation. I shoot the doctor a look.

"Hiding something?"

He acts as if I hadn't even spoken.

"Carlisle," I growl sternly and he smiles weakly and sympathetically. Uh- oh.

"I don't know if you're gonna like this," he clicks a few times, and I take that as an invitation to see for myself.

The lines and graphs on the screen are still hard to read so he begins directing the cursor above each one to help explain.

"This is your line," he shows me, and I'm satisfied with the length or brain activity.

"This is the kid's," he sighs and scrolls downward. "And this is Nessie's."

At her mention, I side-eye him and glare hard. "Nessie?"

He directs the cursor above her lines that surpass mine and the kid's lines. I blink to make sure I'm reading the lines right.

"He had the most brain activity with Nessie, then you, then the twins."

I let that sink in for a second.

Okay, wait—this could mean nothing if it was anything.

Damn, who am I fooling?

I take a few steps back from the computer and turn my back to Carlisle who attempts to console me.

"Leah, let me—"

"Your fucking machine is broken," I conclude before stomping out, beyond prepared to get back up to Silverdale.


	30. Numb

**A/N Don't say I didn't warn ya. ****  
**

Three hours of sleep is all I got last night. I woke up every twenty minutes or so with the faint hope that maybe Jacob drove all the way back up to Silverdale and climbed right in bed with me.

It's been like this for months; I'm used to it, but I don't like it.

I blink at the empty spot beside me while my hand feels upon the cotton of our bed sheets. "Good morning, Jacob," I mutter to myself.

I miss him. I shouldn't have left La Push without saying goodbye. I should've let Carlisle fucking explain instead of jumping to all these conclusions like a paranoid, assuming idiot. All I saw were a bunch of lines, statistics I couldn't comprehend, and I barely heard Carlisle out.

There's gotta be a logical explanation as to why his brain activity hit its peak at Renesmee. It was involuntarily, so it's not his fault. Maybe it's just because she's his imprint and. . .and—

He loves her.

I blink again.

He loves her more than me.

I should be crying, but I'm numb. He's done worse things in the past three years to make me cry.

I blink a third time.

Did I really leave my husband in La Push with her? Damn, I really am an idiot.

The digital clock on our bedside table begins beeping at its usual high pitch, and I aimlessly fling my arm over the snooze button.

Well, it's seven in the morning. Jacob's usually up by now, prepping to taking his shower. I set that alarm for me so I can wake Doll up for school, but lately she's been getting up by herself.

I wait a while until I hear the shower in Doll's bathroom going. I sigh and sit up. Time to start the day. I've gotta get the twins up and dressed, cook breakfast, call and check in with King Motors, go shopp—

I jump at the sudden ringing of my cell phone on the nightstand. I blink a few more times before reaching over and checking the ID.

"Speak of the devil," I mutter when I read Jacob's name on the screen. I press the green button and put the phone to my ear.

"'Morning," I say first, sitting up.

"Sleep okay?" his husky and tired voice asks. He must've just woken up, too.

"I kept tossing and turning."

"That makes two of us. I missed you last night…again."

I shut my eyes and replay him saying that in my head. "I missed you more."

"How're the munchkins?"

I swing the leg hanging over the side of the mattress. "They're fine. Doll's taking her shower and I'm about to wake the twins."

My foot sets itself firmly on the ground and the other follows, to which where I'm sitting up all the way.

"Tell them I miss them," he says.

"I will."

"I wish I could be there. I feel like I'm making you do this all by yourself."

I stand and stretch, a few random bones and joints cracking and popping. "It's okay," I lie. "Just worry about yourself right now."

"Kinda hard to do when all I can do is think of you."

Stunned, I pull the phone away from my ear for a second to get myself together. Why is he so perfect?

"Really?" I sigh.

I picture him pacing and nodding. "Yeah, babe. I miss you. I mean it was pretty odd of you to just kinda leave without a goodbye a few days ago." He truly sounds upset.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I had to get Doll up here before bed time and—"

"Did Carlisle say something to upset you?"

I pull the phone away again and grunt. "No."

He silently exhales. "I really gotta wait until Friday to see you?"

"It's only two days."

I can see his fists tightening in frustration.

"Anything new pop up after I left?" I wonder.

"Nothing out of the usual. My blood pressure's back to normal and I don't feel so tired anymore. No more headaches, either."

_That's because you're with Nessie, you oblivious fool._

"That's great," I choke out and stride over to the vanity in the sitting area of the room. I take a seat and stare at myself. I look terrible.

"Yeah, and we're trying some new medicine for my back," he continues. "Carlisle might be on to something with this mental and emotional thing. We did some really funky test thing where he scanned my brain and. . ."

His voice drowns itself in the receiver. I put him on speaker and listen to him explain the various test and outcomes that Carlisle put him through while I turn the light on in our walk-in closet to pick out an outfit for the day.

It's all useless because once he's cured and fit to come home, he'll go right back to how he was. Something about Nessie makes him better, I just know it.

"But as much fun as I'm having," he begins sarcastically, "I miss the hell out of you. Like, I wake up in Emmett's bed every morning, smelling like vampire sex, expecting to look over and see you there sleeping, but you're not. It's so unfamiliar and odd, and as comfortable as La Push is, it's nothing without you, baby."

I wait and let that sink in as I reach for a red mini-skirt, but I draw my arm back.

"It's gotta be the same for you," he continues.

I bite my lip. "It is."

"Then come by today and spend the rest of the week with me. I know waiting around for test results and shit won't be all that fun for you and the kids, but I'm missing you guys. For me?"

_Yes, yes, yes! I'd do anything for you!_ "I can't let Doll miss school."

He scoffs. I exit the closet to sit back down at the vanity and stare at my cell phone as it just lays there.

"Leah?"

"Yes?" I answer weakly.

"I, uh, um. . .do you mind just sending me some pictures of you guys? Like I said, I miss you and—"

"Sure." I smile and it seems so genuine through the glass in the mirror. "I will."

"Thanks." He sounds relieved.

The water in Doll's shower abruptly stops. I check the time; it's breakfast time.

"Jake, can I call you later? I gotta get the twins up."

He chuckles to himself and I see him nod. "Sure, sure. If I don't pick up, I'm probably in treatment."

"Alright," I reply. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Talk to you soon, then." I prep to hang up, but his erratic voice stops me.

"Oh, and don't forget to call work and—"

"I got you, Jacob, don't worry."

He relaxes. "Okay. Well, bye, Leah," he yawns.

I continue smiling; he's so fucking cute.

"Bye, Jake," I say and press the red button.

And that's that. He certainly sounds better, so obviously whatever Nessie's doing is working. My smile droops off my face. I really should call Carlisle back.

Instead of doing so, I stroll out of my room and down the hall to Doll's room to make sure she didn't sneak back into bed. The loud hum-and-roar mixture of her blow drier coming from her bathroom tells me otherwise.

On my way to her bathroom, I pass the twins' rooms and stick my head in to find they're both still asleep. I'll have Doll get them up.

Her blow drier stops after ten minutes, so I knock on the shut bathroom door. "Doll, what do want for breakfast?!"

I can smell the straightening serum through the door. I keep telling her if she straightens her hair as often as she does it's gonna break off, but because she's twelve, she thinks she knows everything and doesn't listen.

"Caramel pancakes," she responds, but funny thing is that I know that'd be her answer. Ever since she was little, those caramel pancakes have been her favorite.

"Alright," I respond. "Don't forget to wake up the twins, too."

Her answer is delayed. "Okay."

I stroll back into my room and slide on a pair of slippers before bouncing downstairs to the kitchen. By now, Jacob would be out of the shower and deciding whether he'll shave or not. I'd tell him I like the scruff and we'll debate whether the shaved look or five o' clock shadow is more manager-looking. The scruffed look usually wins. And as attractive as the scruff is, I hate how prickly and rough it feels when it brushes my cheek when he hugs me.

Bronx's familiar dog chains rattle from around the corner, and I greet him nicely when he stretches and shakes out his short fur.

"Morning, Bronx," I say and bend down to pick him up. He yawns and twitches his tiny ears as I handle him in one hand. "I'll bet you're hungry, too. Doll will be down in a minute to feed you."

He stares blankly at me and yawns a second time.

"You miss Daddy as much as I do?"

His nub of a tail wags slowly.

"Yeah, I thought so." I kiss his nose and let him squirm out of my hand so he can greet Teigan and Jacob as they attempt tumble their way down the stairs at the same time. I tell them not to, but they don't care if they get carpet burn. They certainly wouldn't be doing that if Jacob were here.

"Good morning, Mommy," Tee says first, pajamas still on and sparkly, silver, plastic wand in hand. Jacob follows with Bronx in his arms, struggling to hold the tiny animal considering he's pretty small himself.

"Mornin', pups," I say and wash my hands of Bronx before gathering all the ingredients for the pancakes. "Sleep good?"

Tee lifts herself into the bar chairs surrounding our island and gets herself comfortable. "I had a dream that I was a princess—"

_Of course, you did._

"And Jacob was a prince and Alex was a dragon—"

"You dreamed your sister was a dragon?" I clarify and grab the milk out the fridge.

She nods. "But she was a nice and pretty dragon like the one in Shrek and she helped us kill the evil monsters in the dungeon and we lived happily ever after like one big happy family."

"I'm guessing Mommy and Daddy weren't there?"

"Oh, no, you were!" she adds. "Daddy was the queen and you were the king! Wait…" She thinks for a second and I chuckle. Jacob, the more mature of the two, sets Bronx down and sits beside his twin.

"How'd you sleep, Jake?"

He shrugs. "Okay, I guess. I had a dream that my head was on Bronx's body and I had bird wings but you and Daddy still loved me, anyway."

I picture it and stifle a laugh as I pour the rest of the pancake mix into the mixing bowl. "Such vivid imaginations you two have. I guess you could tell Daddy all about your dreams when we go see him today, huh?"

That's a really quick change in heart.

"We're seeing Daddy today?!" Jacob cheers and nearly falls out his seat. The floor of the stairs creaks with each footstep that echoes.

I nod. "We'll go when Doll gets home from school, okay? Go get dressed. We're going shopping today," I instruct them, and they jet off the chairs with the quickness, trying to race each other to the stairs. Doll dodges out of the way as they run past her on her way into the kitchen.

"Oh, you look nice," I compliment as I look over her attire. She dresses quite conservatively for her age.

She smiles and flips her straightened hair onto the backpack strap over her shoulder. "Thanks," she replies and sits at the bar. "Why're they so excited?"

I pour a random amount of milk and pop all the bubbles in the bowl with the wooden spoon. "We're seeing Dad today."

Her eyes widen. "Really? It's not Friday yet."

"I know," I say. "I know how much y'all miss him and he misses us, so I just thought we should surprise him."

She nods and crosses her legs. "Is he better?"

"His blood pressure went down and the headaches stopped," I tell her. She seems happy about that.

"When can he come home?"

I wish I could have a legitimate answer for her. "When he's better," I reply. "I'm hoping that's soon. He should be back home by Thanksgiving." Which, by the way, is only a month away, so I'm counting on Carlisle.

That seems promising enough for her to go off of. "Alright," she sighs.

Doll watches me fix the pancakes, and we talk about various things like school, boys, the twins, and her thirteenth birthday in two months. Damn, did I say thirteen? My baby's going to be thir-fucking-teen.

Once breakfast is done, I call down the twins and watch the three of them dig in like wild animals. They learned that shit from Jacob.

Eight o'clock rolls around and Doll gives me a kiss before heading down to her bus stop. The twins are anxious to see Jacob now, but I tell them to be patient until three o' clock rolls around. Once they're fully dressed, I make a quick call to King Motors and we're on our way to the grocery store, my least favorite place in the world. They love that place because they see food and go nuts. I dislike being here without Jacob because he's always a fun distraction.

After the grocery store, the three of us return home for a short while to do some house work, like doing dishes and making up beds. Boring as it is, someone's gotta do it.

Being a housewife to four-year-olds isn't as busy as being one to newborns. I can't wait until they start kindergarten next year because it's time I find myself a job or something to keep me occupied during the day. Jake should be home by then, and I'd rather not be waiting around in the house all day for him to come home.

Some jigsaw puzzles, a bike ride, and a game of Frisbee with Bronx later, the clock finally strikes three and Doll enters the house fifteen minutes later, throws her stuff down, and races back out the door, ready to see Jacob. The twins follow her lead to the Rabbit, and I advise them to eat something before leaving because I'm not stopping along the way. The three of them reluctantly eat a petty snack before hopping right back in the car.

I've taken this drive many times, each drive shorter than the last, so the two hours from Silverdale to La Push feel like fifteen minutes. The second I pull into Sue's driveway, they rush to knock on her door and she opens it with a huge surprised smile. I can't be in La Push without seeing Sue.

Once we arrive to The Cullens, Carlisle is surprised to see I came back, unannounced, but I'm still a bit iffy with him.

"Leah," he greets me, and gestures me up the stairs to the oddly convenient medical section of his house. "Nice to see you stopped by. I didn't think you'd come back, seeing as though you ignored my phone calls."

I blush. "How is he?" I ask when I enter the hospital room, expecting to see him asleep, but the room is empty.

"Much better actually. He's taking some medicine right now and we were gonna let him rest a bit but now that you're here, I see that won't be happening."

My grin can't be any bigger. "Sorry I left the other day. It was just a shock to me and I overreacted. I've gotta realize she is his _imprint_ and—"

His smile drops a bit with each word I say, making mine disappear as well.

"Dammit, Carlisle," I hiss. "What now?"

He leans against the counter, something I've never seen him or any vampire for that matter do. "That's what I wanted to speak with you about over the phone."

I blink at him. Ugh, I'd hate him if he weren't so helpful and polite.

"What is it?"

"It's about Ness—"

I have a seat on the bed and lean back. "He fucked her behind my back," I remind him. "What else could be worse?"

He gives me a sympathetic look. I don't have to be a bitch to Carlisle; he's just trying to help.

"I'm sorry. Continue."

He nods and as he searches for the proper words to say, the silence gets eerier and eerier. This can't be good.

"I've never in my years of medical work seen a case like this," he begins. I gulp. "At first, I predicted this was all physical and that as he got older, he got more tired, especially with the wolf gene and not being able to phase."

I wait.

"But as I dug deeper, I realized that this has little to do with his phasing—or lack thereof." He pauses and shuts his eyes. "I think this might be mental _and_ emotional, and no amount of medicine or drugs can help this case. I've tried everything for the past eight months and nothings worked."

_Fucking great._

"And I'm afraid I can't reverse it or make it stop. Jacob will never be. . .fully cured. It's been going on for too long for it to be cured. It's purely psychological, and if not treated, it'll get worse. I'm really sorry I failed you two." He hangs his head sadly.

So he's stuck being a temperamental and exhausted monster forever? "What is it, Carlisle?"

He sighs and lifts his head. "This has nothing to do with medicine or treatment. I'm calling it IDS: Imprint Deprivation Syndrome."

My saliva swallows harshly down my throat, creating a lump. "Wh-what is that?"

"It's just how it sounds. Being away from his imprint and denying it for so long has caught up with him, resulting in an unpleasant and involuntary state of mind. He's tired because his brain is weak and telling him he needs his imprint to stay sane. So as a result, he lashes out, has nightmares, and all the other symptoms. His genes are weakening. Leah, in a few years, he'll be too weak to do anything as simple as taking a shower or getting out bed in the morning. Soon, is body will just shut down from the pressure and deprivation that—"

"He'll die," I finish.

Carlisle shuts his mouth and nods. "All the signs point back to Renesmee. His brain activity and everything else. She unintentionally influences his moods and brain patterns. It's not necessarily romantic or even platonic for that matter. She makes the wolf within better, not him."

"That's bullshit, Carlisle."

"Leah, I'm just telling you what I believe."

"So, you're saying he needs her more than me?"

"Did I say that?"

I be quiet and review his words. I look okay on the outside, but it feels like I've just been ran over by a fucking eighteen-wheeler with Nessie behind the steering wheel. It's not always sunny in paradise, and I should've known that fairy tales only exist in Teigan's children's books. Why'd I think this stupid marriage would work? I should've let him go the second he told me Nessie's his imprint and saved both myself and him some hurt. I knew it; he's in love with her. I'd rather Carlisle lied and said he had MS.

I shake, but it's not a phasing type of vibration; it's more of a shiver. "So, there's nothing_ I_ can do?"

"Just know that it's not your fault."

"My fault," I repeat. "It _is_ my fault. I'm not your granddaughter and it's literally killing him."

Carlisle doesn't even try to deny it. This is the saddest I've ever seen him.

The silence between us goes from eerie to uncomfortable. I wanna see Jacob, but I'm afraid the moment he sees me, he'll see right through me and question what's wrong. He's what's wrong.

"So does this mean his treatment's done?" I wonder and twiddle my ring around my finger decisively.

His answer is delayed. "We wanna keep him for the rest of the month. If he's better by then, he's free to leave."

I thought I'd be happy to hear those words, but given these circumstances, I want to be as far away from Jacob as possible. I can't look him in the eye and pretend that loving him is easy anymore. I actually want him to just leave for his benefit; he doesn't need me. What use am I to him when he needs Renesmee?

After eight numb months, my throat and airway tightens and my eyes burn of tears.


	31. Alex

Thanksgiving is nice. We stay at home this year.

Christmas is nice. Sue and Charlie visit for a few days.

New Year's is a fucking ball.

But when January comes around, everything goes back to how it used to be. I'm still angry after eight months of treatment, and Leah's a bigger bitch than she usually is. I don't like fighting, and I should let her win, but I'll be damned if I do. It's little and petty shit that she gets at me about. When we fight, I resist to not raise my voice, but it's hard not to when she gets physical and persists to use me as a punching bag.

So that was eight months of treatment wasted because we're right back to where we were. While I was in La Push, Carlisle and I had a few heart-to-heart chats in which I confided in him about our fights and the nagging. He gave me the slick advice that when woman nag, bitch, and act up, they just want some sex, but they'll never admit that. He said it's worked for him numerous times, and I saw Carlisle in a totally different light.

He's right most of the time. When I say something stupid and Leah gets angry and gets to the yelling and hitting, I do that smart shit from _The Notebook_ and shut her up with a kiss that leads to more. From there we apologize, promise to never fight again, fuck a bit, and fall asleep just to do the same shit the next day. The times it doesn't work, she holds my lips for a few moments and then pushes me off in disgust.

The kids hate this and as much as I love Leah, it's hard to convince them of that with all this fighting contradicting me.

The eight months without me have done wonders for her phobia of sleeping alone because now she has no problem of sending my ass to the couch.

In short, this shit sucks.

I wouldn't like to think I was happier with the distance of La Push and Silverdale between us. Did I really miss yelling, fighting, crying, dumb apologies, and senseless, emotionless sex?

None of it is enough for me to leave, though. As much as I hate this bullshit, I wouldn't wanna go through it with anyone else. At times, I think I hate her, but it's just momentary rage. It's not possible for me to hate her. I just can't. It's every element of impossible for me to. I wanna make it work so badly because my first marriage will be my only marriage. She's perfect in the way that she's imperfect. I think I'd rather be reckless with her than being alone.

I lay here on the couch for the sixth night in a row, staring up at the high ceiling of our living room. It's quiet as usual.

Maybe love is caring even when you're mad. I care about her more than anyone and I'm always angry at her.

I don't think she cares anymore. In the months I've been home, she's been meaner as if she's trying to get her revenge from the three years of abuse I caused her.

But those three years weren't my fault. Yeah, I said and did all those things to her, but it wasn't me meaning any of it.

I sigh. She hates me. She'll leave soon. I just know it.

I sit up and examine my wedding band.

"Until the end of time," I quote my vows and scoff. It'll be six years this March, and look at us.

Our relationship used to be nothing but fighting and yelling back when my dick gravitated towards Bella. But now there are feelings involved and she's not some pack mate of mine. That's my wife. This marriage shit should've come with a warning label that went along the lines of _Danger: THIS CHICK WILL BREAK YOUR HEART._

Seth and Ness are tying the knot this September; I hope he knows what he's getting into. But then again, Nessie's not crazy. Actually, scratch that—_every_ woman is crazy.

I blush. Leah is crazy, but she's my kinda crazy. She's the perfect mixture of sanity, insanity, and class.  
I check my watch. It's five in the morning. I have to be up in two hours, but I doubt any form of sleep will happen.

She's probably up in that bed sleeping like a baby.

Annoyed, I fling the blanket off my body and begin to shuffle around the room for my slippers. Once I slide them onto my feet, I begin my climb up the stairs and try to be as quiet as possible, creeping back into my bedroom. It's pitch-black.

I remove my slippers and squint into the darkness.

"Leah?" I whisper.

"What?" she groans tiredly. She can't sleep, either.

I smirk. "You okay?"

The comforter shuffles and wrinkles when Leah throws it off of her. "Get your ass in this bed."

Doing as I'm told, I slide in on the empty side and she scoots over to me although I expect her to stay on her side.

After trying and failing at a few breathing techniques to get tired, I give up trying to get to sleep.

"Leah," I say.

"Go to sleep."

"Mrs. Black," I tease and poke her shoulder. She jerks away.

"Jacob, I'm tired."

"Not like you got any shit to do tomorrow," I snap.

She exhales, defeated. "What is it?" she asks.

I hesitate and bring her body closer to mine until we're in a spooning, cradle-like position. She doesn't object.

"Are ya still angry at me?" I whisper into her ear, pecking behind her lobe. She shivers.

My arms grip around her tighter and she holds on with both hands, her nails just brushing against the hair rising on my arm.

She shakes her head and the loose strands of hair flying from her ponytail tickle my nose.

"No," she confesses and loosens up. "Still angry at me?"

"No," I say honestly and squeeze her. "I'm sorry."

She gets more comfortable. "I'm sorry, too."

_Now that that's over…_

I kiss her cheek. "Goodnight."

"Go to sleep now," she hums.

I wish I could. I wish I could just rest my head and dream away, but I can't. I want to so fucking badly but I can't.

So I lay here with my arms wrapped around her, listening to her snore peacefully and mutter in her sleep. How does she do it?

I stay up for the remaining two hours before the alarm goes off and a half-asleep Leah aimlessly reaches for it. I reach around her and hit the snooze button.

I climb out of bed to get my shower going. I decide whether or not if I should brush my teeth now or wait and see if Leah fixes breakfast.

By the time I hop out the shower, it's ten minutes after and this is usually the time Leah and I discuss what I should do with my facial hair.

I open our bathroom door and peak into the bedroom. She's still asleep. Guess I'll be shaving today.

I finish shaving, washing my face, and combing out my hair within the next ten minutes, and when I exit the bathroom to get dressed, Leah's gone, though I don't smell a breakfast brewing downstairs.

I nod and go back into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

After spitting out the water-and-paste mixture into the sink bowl, I wipe my mouth, dry myself off, and put my deodorant on.

I miss La Push mornings. They were so lively and fun because Leah would've been out of bed by now, breakfast fixed ready for Doll, the twins and I by the time we come downstairs. Now all I hear is the distant sound of Doll's shower running. The twins must still be sleep, and I'm envious since I'm still not motivated enough to rest.

After leaving the bathroom, it's half an hour after seven and I still don't smell a breakfast. Our bed is made, though, which isn't that peculiar. I take cereal, I guess.

After getting dressed, I jog down the stairs to put my shoes on, but I find myself going into the kitchen instead.

There's no bacon sizzling in a pan or pancake mix being mixed in a bowl. All there is Leah drinking the extra milk out of a bowl.

_Well, alright_, I think to myself.

She gets up from the bar chair, having not acknowledging my presence yet, and slugs over to the sink to wash her bowl out. I lean on the archway and watch her pour the dish soup, run the faucet, and scrub the sugar and cinnamon out of the bowl.

She sets it on the counter, washes the spoon, and before she can turn, I rush to hug her from behind. Maybe she's still upset with me.

"Hey, love," I whisper and kiss her cheek as my hands latch around her flat stomach and hips. She doesn't respond.

Jeez, what'd I do know?

"Good morning?" I try, and kiss her neck now, but she just untwines my fingers from around her waist and passes me to exit the kitchen, zero facial expression.

I stand there, dumbfounded.

_Okay?_

"Um, is someone in a bad mood?" I follow after her into the family room, where she turns cartoons on for the twins when they come downstairs.

"Leah," I call to her, following behind like a lost puppy. "Leah." This time it comes out sternly. She refuses to even turn to look at me, so I forcefully grab her arm and make her.

Instead of a fierce growl, she retaliates with a pout and a push. "Get off me, Jacob."

I let her go. "What did I do now?"

She stops and keeps her back to me, so I take the initiative to face her myself.

Her eyes are sad. I soften.

"What's wrong?" I wonder.

She shakes her head and looks away. "Noth—"

"Don't bullshit me. What the hell is the matter?"

Leah's the easiest person to read. I obviously did something wrong so I might as well face the music now instead of having to deal with it when I get home.

She just stands here in front of me, staring at my face as if I'm a statue in a museum that won't get impatient and forcefully pin her against a wall to get an answer.

I blink at her and cross my arms. Maybe if we stare each other down hard enough, she'll realize I'm not in the mood and she should just talk now.

Another three minutes pass and in those few minutes, she tries to get her way upstairs, but I block her.

"Move," she frowns, seeing it's not a game.

I _so_ don't have time for her shit right now!

"Dammit, woman, what's your problem!?"

She turns her head and attempts to pass me again, but I block her with my chest.

"I can't do this with you right now," she pleads weakly and tries to worm her way out.

"Do what with me?"

"Just go to work and we can talk about it when you get home." She pats my chest lightly to calm me down, but I'm angry now.

"Are you pregnant?"

"Jacob, just go!" she begs, but I stay.

"What's the fucking matter?"

She tightens her lips and shuts her eyes, her hands flopping to her sides in defeat.

"Why can't we just discuss this when you get home?" she asks.

"'Cause I might not come home," I answer truthfully. Anything can happen.

She opens her eyes. "You're gonna get angry."

I shrug. "I'm always angry."

Leah looks down and crosses her arms, avoiding my eyes to prevent herself from crying. What the hell could be so bad that she had to wait until I got home to tell me about? Is she pregnant? Well, that's not a bad thing, so why is she—

"I think you should leave me," she states under her breath and takes the quick opportunity to rush past me and get halfway up the stairs before I snap out of it.

"Get back down here right now," I growl, and she freezes. I stare hard even harder at her when she turns and approaches.

"What the hell do you mean, _leave you_?" I repeat, and she cringes.

"I think we need a break," she mumbles, but I begin laughing without amusement.

"A break? A _break_, Leah? The fuck I look like to you? I'm not your little high school boyfriend—shit, I'm not even your _fiancé_. I'm your husband, so what the fuck do you mean about a break?" I lean on the wall, curious as to how this will end.

She covers her face with one hand. "I knew you'd get like this," she whines. I ease up again. Damn this quick temper.

"Okay, I'm sorry," I apologize. "Just tell me what your reasoning behind this is? I mean, I think the eight months I spent in La Push without you and the kids was a good enough break, don't you?"

She shakes her head and doesn't lift it from staring at the ground.

Nostrils flared, I try to be reasonable even when I wanna yell. "Why do you want this, then?" I ask. "Why do you want me to leave? Why do you want a break?"

Her fingers twitch over themselves nervously. "Because I'm not good enough for you."

"Shouldn't that be for me to decide?"

"I'm not Nessie."

_Ugh, not this shit again._

I really wish Carlisle didn't tell her about IDS. I think it's straight bullshit; some little imprint doesn't control my moods. I'm a grown man in complete control of my own emotions. I'm no one's puppet.

"Leah, I don't care."

A manly groan comes out her mouth. "You say that, but you and I both know I'm no good for you. Nessie can make you better and you need to—"

"Nessie isn't even thinking about me." I chuckle nervously. "What makes you think I want her?"

We've had this conversation too many times.

"It's not about what you want; it's what you need. You're going to die with me, Jacob, and I'm not gonna let you do this to yourself. I can't get hurt again." She runs a hand through her hair slowly.

"You and I get closer to death everyday. I was gonna die with you, regardless of whether I had IDS or not. Whether I'm with you or Nessie, I die, anyway."

"Don't say that," she mutters and takes another step down towards me.

"It's true!"

She closes her eyes and scrunches her brows to fight tears, but she fails.

Shit, I didn't even say much of anything, so why is she crying? She suggested it; not me.

"Was—?" I start and go over my sentence in my head carefully. "Did I do something to make you come to this decision?"

She nods her head yes and wipes her face.

"What'd I do?" What haven't I done is a better question.

"You're suffocating me," she whimpers and takes that step back. "You get angry when I leave the house. The twins are gonna be starting kindergarten this August and you don't even want me to get a job," she reminds me. "I'm trapped with you. I wish you'd quit pretending to still love me."

That actually hurts my feelings. I do love her; I can't fake such intense feelings. Is this a reflection on how she feels about me?

"There's a reason I don't want you to leave the house," I tell her.

"So you can assure I'll be back to serve His Majesty," she assumes, and I roll my eyes.

"So you don't imprint on anyone," I correct her. "That seems like a good enough reason to me."

She scoffs. "You honestly think I'd leave my family for some imprint? If you can fight it, so can I."

"So you can end up like me? Tired, with a bad temper, and having nightmares? End up in Carlisle's hospital room, mentally by yourself for eight months as they run tests and simulations on you, leaving you in wonder if you'll die at any moment? Sound nice to you? I'm going through this for you because I love you."

She wipes her tears numerous times and turns away from me. The silence between us speaks louder volumes than any other conversations we've ever had.

"You really want me to leave two months before our anniversary? The twins' fifth birthdays?"

She sniffles and sadly looks back up at me. "I just you want to leave."

"And again, it's about you, Leah," I growl, throwing my hands up in realization. "Just like everything else is. The sun fucking rises out of your ass, so whatever you say goes. You're probably the most selfish woman I've ever met."

She gasps. "How am _I_ selfish?"

_How aren't you?!_ "Why do you want me to leave you?"

"So I don't get hurt if you—"

"Ha!" I point an accusing finger at her. "The magic word: _I_! You don't wanna get hurt, but what about me? You don't think this hurts me? The fact that my wife doesn't love me anymore and she wants to throw me out?"

"Being away from me will make everything for everyone, better," she insists.

"Us being apart won't take back the fact that Rosalie tried to kill you or that Nahuel gets a literal kick out of hitting Nessie. Being apart won't fix the fact that he raped her and got her pregnant. Being apart won't change the fact that he killed Carson or that we can't stay faithful to each other. Being apart won't change the fact that Emily left Sam and she still doesn't have a baby."

Frustrated, her chest heaves faster and faster. "How am I the selfish one when you're the one who tried killing himself when I left?!"

"Because you left, you selfish bitch!" I finally exclaim and stomp onto the stair in front of her. "And wasn't I the one who talked you off of La Push's highest fucking cliff when Sam dumped your ass?"

She toughly narrows her eyes and wrinkles her nose to hide the pain.

"Everything is your fucking fault!" I holler and she stares extensively, processing my words. "If you hadn't left me, if you'd stayed, we wouldn't be going through this! If you hadn't kept her from me, I wouldn't be so angry! She's the fucking reason I even married you!"

"You only stayed because of Baby Doll," she says as more of statement than a question, and I don't realize what I've said until she repeats it.

"Leah, I didn't mean th—" I begin, but she stops me, tears already down her face.

"So if I had come back without Doll," she exhales and ignores her wet face, "you wouldn't have stayed? You only stayed with me because of her? You felt bad so you married me."

"No, baby, no. I was angry, I didn't mean it," I plead and wrap my arms around her for a hug, but she pushes me away. I step off the stair.

She caresses her finger over her cheek to flick a tear away. "I want you out by the end of the week," she says dismissively, and without another word and a dramatic hair flip, she stomps up the stairs.

Desperate, I call after her. "And go where?"

No response. Just a door slam.

Fuck.

_Fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck_.

"That didn't just happen," I mutter and slap the crown of my head as if to erase what just occurred.

I think I stood there for half an hour before the floors creak, and I'm thinking it's Leah, but my chest empties out when Doll slowly strolls down the stairs, looking as confused and hurt as I feel.

We make eye contact and her face says it all.

She heard.

It wasn't until she sniffles and comes closer towards me into the morning light do I see her tan face is just as wet as Leah's. The whites of her green eyes are pink and her mascara is smeared under and around her eyelids.

"Carson's dead." She shakes as she says his name. I shut my eyes to reject the look on her traumatized face.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice is breaking.

_I don't know. I couldn't. You were too young._

"Baby Doll," I begin, but she just shakes her head no and clutches her stomach.

"Alex," she corrects me. "My name is Alejandra. You call me Alex. I'm no one's Baby Doll anymore."

I'm taken back.

"You keep hurting her. Why?" she questions, and leans on the railing for support.

"C'mon, Doll, just sit down. You're in shock." I reach for her, but she backs away a few feet and halfway up the stairs.

"Alex," she repeats before taking a disgusted glance at me and jogging back up the stairs.

**A/N *Taylor Lautner voice* Oh, boy.**


	32. Food Makes Everything Better

**A/N *sweats nervously* I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. *chuckles nervously, grabs napkin from pocket, wipes forehead***

"Um, Leah, it's Jacob. Ya know, uh… your husband," I say into the phone after it beeps. I clear my throat.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said. It was in the heat of passion and I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Okay, that's a lie, but I miss you and the kids and Bronx."

I remove the phone from my face and sigh while running my hand over my face. "Fuck me," I sigh.

I bring the phone back up to my face. "Anyway, I really wanna work this out with you because I'm lonely." I chuckle and glance around the apartment.

Silence is on the other end.

"Anyway, I guess I'll end this message, but you know how to get to me. I love you," I finish and hang up in defeat.

Well, that was pathetic.

I exhale.

My judgment was off; Leah should've calmed down by now, but she hasn't. I thought this separation would last two weeks tops, but I've been living in this rented apartment for the past three months after staying in a hotel for two weeks.

Some anniversary I had. She denied me of a visit, so I sent her a bouquet of flowers and I didn't even get a phone call.

The only relief or hope I had was when she allowed me to come over for the twins' birthdays and that itself was iffy because she acted as if she doesn't know me when she answered the door. Not even a "Hi, Jake." Just a cold shoulder and not even a look in the eye. Even Doll warmed up a bit, apologized, and let me start calling her Doll again. It's May and she's turning fourteen this year. She's gonna be a freshman, and that scares me. Puberty hit her like a train because I woke up and she actually had breasts, was wearing makeup, and was complaining about period cramps. She's not a little girl anymore; she's evolving into a young woman. It was wrong to keep what happened to Carson from her, but even when she did find out, there weren't many details we could give her.

It won't be long until Teigan will be going through the same thing, and Jacob's gonna be shaving, getting some bass in his voice, and then he'll be as tall as me. And soon he'll be in high school trying to pick up chicks while protecting Tee from jocks who try to mack on her.

I exhale. I really hope Leah lets me see all that.

How is _she_ even dealing with this? She's probably already dating some chump and made the kids swear not to tell me. She's probably going over divorce paper—of which I'll refuse to sign—and calling up a lawyer already. She's probably selling all my shit on the internet to pay for their wedding. She's probably getting my name lasered off her body right now.

I cringe. Maybe she's met her imprint. A lot can happen in three months.

I'm too paranoid to be sure. Leah's a crazy-ass person, so anything goes.

Should I call her again? Not like she'll pick up. I've clogged her cell's voicemail, and Doll gets in trouble for contacting me. There's not much more that I can say over the phone. In person, maybe, but not over the phone. I haven't heard her voice, except for her voicemail, in a long while, and it's funny how much I took that shit for granted.

I blink at my phone, hoping it'll ring even though I know it won't.

_You know what? Fuck her!_

I sigh. "Fuck me."

Staring harder at the phone, I imagine it ringing. What could she be doing that she can't pick up the phone and just talk this out with me?

Leah's just so fucking—_ugh_! God, this woman!

Food usually eases the pain. So does marijuana. My afternoon is set then.

I get a blunt rolled and in my mouth half an hour later after calling Leah the second time today. The only thing I can enjoy about this whole separation bullshit is being able to walk around naked, smoke weed everywhere, and eat all the junk food I want. IDS is already killing me, so why not indulge?

I go through an entire baggie before passing out for an hour, and get some food cooking while I lick on a spoon of peanut butter. Leah wouldn't allow this, so I make the most of it. _Puff, puff, perfection_, I chant in my head.

My one-man party is interrupted when my cell begins vibrating and ringing from the other room. Because I'm high, I don't rush in case it's Leah. I'm too high to even care if she even does call back.

My red eyes widen when I read Doll's name on the caller ID. I immediately clear my throat and press the green button on the touch screen, attempting to sound less. . .stoned.

"Hello," I say lowly.

"Hey, Dad," she replies sweetly. I listen closely to make out what's going on in the background on her end. Sounds like the TV, as usual.

"How're you doing?" I ask. "How was school?"

"Dad?"

"Hmmm?" I hum and make my way back to the kitchen to put some dishes in the sink.

"It's Saturday."

"Oh," I sigh and rub my head. I'm still high. "How was your day, anyway?"

"It was alright. Mom took me to get my hair done."

"Oh, how sweet. What's the occasion?"

"The eighth grade dance is tonight," she answers. "It looks pretty."

"That's nice." I pull the phone from my face to put it on speaker and set it on the counter. "I wish I could see it. Send me a picture."

"Actually, that's why I called," she informs me. "Mom has some errands to run near your place and she said we could come over for a while if it's alright with you."

A smile forms on my face because it seems too good to be true. Leah's heart isn't a cold stone, after all.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah."

I nod. "Alright then. That sounds fine. I've missed you guys."

"We miss you, too, Dad," she says and I picture her sad smile. On the other end, I hear Leah calling Doll off the phone and I can't help sighing. Damn, I miss her.

"Dad, I gotta go, but we'll be there in a minute."

"Alright, Doll, I'll be here."

I expect a goodbye or an "I love you," but the line goes dead.

That's an interesting change of heart. Leah must be in a good mood. I better take advantage. The first and last time she let them come over was months ago, and she didn't even come in.

Upon exiting the kitchen, the sweet aroma of weed enters my nose and it throws me off. Might as well clean up.

After tidying the kitchen and den area, I open all the windows and get a fan going to air out the marijuana smell along with spraying some Febreze. Maybe I should cook something? Naw, I should freshen up because I smell like weed.

Rushing to the bedroom, I change my shirt and switch my sweatpants for jeans. I roll on some deodorant, brush my teeth for a second time today, and check myself in the mirror. If Leah decides to come in, I can't look bummy. I won't let her believe that these months without her haven't done me good. I've kept up my figure well enough and if I don't look good, she'll believe she's won.

Why should I care, though? She's seen me worse than this. Something tells me she won't even notice.

Before I can squirt on some cologne, there's a light knock on the door, making me jump. Nervous, I rush out the bathroom and down the hall, palms already sweating. I slam the windows shut, stop the fan, and spray one final spritz of air freshener before taking a breath and grabbing the door knob.

I exhale when I swing the door open and Doll's familiar pair of green eyes stare back at me. Before I can say anything, my legs are immediately occupied with each twin latching on my calves. Looking down, I catch Leah's eye and feel my face getting hot.

_Oh, boy._

"Daddy!" Tee exclaims and reaches upward to be picked up. I lift her and set her on my hip while Jacob continues to hug my leg tightly.

"Hey, baby girl." I kiss her cheek and she kisses mine back. I glance forward, past my wife, and at my teenager.

"Get in here and gimme a kiss," I say, and she can't stifle her shy grin as she crosses the threshold into apartment.

"Hi, Dad," she greets me and barely has to get on her toes to kiss my cheek.

She's only thirteen and already taller than Leah. When she pulls away to look in a different direction, I examine her hair. It's smoother-looking than usual, and I can smell the salon's straightening serum. It does look nice. I'd run my hands through it, but she still doesn't like the touching thing.

"Hey," I reply and my eyes wander to the side, towards Leah, but she just pretends to be distracted. Teigan tightens her grip around my neck and puts her head on my shoulder.

"Why don't you guys go watch some TV in the den while I talk to Mommy?" I ask the kids, looking straight at Leah, who refuses with all her might to look at me.

Doll glares at her and then me before side-shuffling away. "C'mon, guys," she says and Jacob takes her hand while I set Tee on her feet. "Bye, Mom," Doll calls and takes Tee's hand.

"I'll see you later," Leah says and looks at the ground when she's out of earshot.

I don't know who'll make the first move, but it's nice just staring at her. I sigh.

"Hi," I say first and lean on the threshold.

She continues to stand there, jaw not even attempting to move to say anything.

"I've been fine, thanks for asking," I let her know.

Her eyes roll over and they finally pop up to look at me. "I'll be back to get them later," she tells me grimly and turns to exit down the stairs and out of the apartment complex.

Before letting her get down the stairs, I call out her name, and she stops and turns. Surprised she even stopped, I take a step forward to be closer, but she backs away.

"Thank you," I express.

Her face actually manufactures a lifeless-side grin. "You're welcome."

She continues down the stairs and out of sight.

That hurt.

Dismissed, I go back into the apartment and shut the door behind me. A day with the kids—we should have fun.

I turn the corner into the den to see they've already made themselves comfortable with their shoes off.

"You guys don't wanna do anything?" I ask them, but they shake their heads.

"Where can we go if you don't even have the car?" Doll points out, nibbling her nails but abruptly stopping when she remembers they're painted.

Oh, that's right. Leah's got the car while I pull into work everyday on my motorcycle. I roll my eyes; I miss my car too.

"Well, you guys just can't watch TV the whole time you're here," I reason and plop on the couch next to Doll.

She shrugs.

"Tell me about this dance tonight. Got a date?" I poke her shoulder teasingly—even though the idea of Doll going on a date is not funny—and she blushes.

"Yeah," she answers and covers her mouth to hide her reddening face.

"Dolly's got a boyfriend," Jacob laughs, not turning from the television. She doesn't find it funny, so she makes a face behind his head.

"Oh, c'mon, it's okay you got yourself a little boyfriend," I lie. "What's his name?"

Her pretty eyes sheepishly droop to her curled legs upon the couch. "Ryan."

"Ryan who?"

"Gosling," she answers nonchalantly, and I blink at her.

"Okay, okay," she laughs and sits up. "His name is Ryan, though."

"Ryan," I repeat the name and conjure up an image of a scrawny white boy with braces.

"Yeah, but we're just friends," she insists, but we both know that's not so.

"Friends don't make out with each other, Alex," Teigan inputs next, making my eyebrows fly up and Doll's furrow.

"Shut up," Doll growls.

"Sounds like he's more than a friend to me," I input.

She eyes me now. "Dad, he's just a friend," she insists.

"Tell me about him."

Her expression turns sour. "You really gonna talk about boys with me?" she challenges.

I consider it. "Nevermind."

The four of us sit there in silence for a while. They peacefully watch television, but I keep thinking about her little boyfriend. He's her date. Has Leah met this kid? How old is he? What's he look like? Am I gonna have to fuck him up at some point in the future?

_How do I go about this?_ I wonder.

"So, um," I begin, nudging Doll's shoulder. "You and this kid serious?"

She shakes her head. "He's my friend."

"Doesn't answer the question."

"No, Dad." Then again, how serious could they be at thirteen?

I nod in false understanding. "So, like, do you let him, like, touch you?"

Her eyes widen and she gasps. "Dad, oh my goodness," she whines and pops from the sofa and exits the den grumpily. I sit there and look to the twins.

"Did I say something wrong?" I ask them while Teigan takes her sister's spot on the couch.

"She doesn't like talking about boys," she explains. Who does, though?

"I'll be back," I announce, stand, and follow the smell of the straightening serum to the kitchen. She's leaning on the counter, staring at something on her phone, ignoring me.

I smile at that for some reason. "You look just like your mama."

She glances up momentarily and taps her phone screen with her thumb busily.

"Look, I'm sorry for asking you so many questions. Your mom may have kicked me out the house and all, but you're still my kid, and I have a right to know. Don't you think?"

She stares at me for a couple seconds and puts her phone in her pocket. "She misses you."

Caught off guard, my smile disappears. "Does she?"

My daughter nods. "She tries to hide it, but it's really obvious."

"How?" I lean with her and cross my arms.

"Like when we're getting ready to eat dinner, she'll catch herself telling us to wait for you to get home from work, but then she remembers and pouts. Or when she cooks us breakfast, she'll tell one of us to go upstairs to see what you want to eat."

So, she's got it bad, too? "Really?"

Doll nods. "It's kinda sad."

"I didn't even think she loved me anymore," I laugh, even though I shouldn't be discussing this with my thirteen-year-old daughter.

She grimaces. "Don't say that."

I hunch my shoulders. "So no new boyfriend? She's still got my name tattooed? Not pregnant? Divorce papers?"

"Naw, none of that," she assures me. "If anything, she doesn't even look at other guys. Tons of guys try to mack, but she gives them the brush off."

Phew. No imprint, then. That's my girl.

"But she definitely cries herself to sleep, though," she adds and twirls the end of her hair nervously.

"You hear her?"

She shakes her head yes. "She really does miss you, Daddy."

"I'd be back home by now," I protest and that makes her head droop. I know it's sad, but it's true. It's best to sympathize.

"Look, BD, I'm sorry that your mom and I are just a dysfunctional pair, and it doesn't set an appropriate example for you. I only question you about this Ryan kid because I care. Do you remember what I told you about boys and love whenever you heard your Mom and I fighting when you were younger?"

Her expression doesn't lighten, but her head rises up to look at me. "That boys are idiots, and if I ever find that boy then I should be careful."

So she does listen.

"I really didn't want you or the twins to have to experience this with us," I say.

"I know fairytales don't last, Dad," she responds matter-of-factly and checks her phone again.

This was never a fairytale. There may be werewolves and mythical creatures, but this is not fairytale. I take in her words harshly, though.

"If your Mom and I were to split, who'd you come to live with?" I ask in pure curiosity.

Her face twists into a smile as she stands off the counter and pokes my shoulder.

"I'd live with the one who's got the quick temper and wolf genes," she answers teasingly and hops out the kitchen.

I guess I'll ask the twins next and hope they'll be as neutral.

I get in some appreciated hours of chilling with the kids before Leah returns from her errands in time to get Doll ready for the dance. She showed me her dress, shoes, and even a picture of her boyfriend because she's so excited.

The minute Leah knocks on the door, I'm immediately sad because who knows when she'll let me see them again?

Her hard expression when I open the door sends a chill down my spine. She looks no happier than she did when she dropped them off and this time, I don't attempt to ease the tension.

Once they're all gone, I get bored again and finish the show we were watching. Sinking back into my depression, all I'm able to think about is how Leah's probably doing Doll's makeup right now, re-straightening her hair, and doing whatever else to prep her for this dance. Ryan's probably waiting on my sofa for my daughter to come downstairs right now, nervous as hell that I'll pop out of nowhere to interrogate him. Oh, and they'll probably slow dance and bump and grind and crump and Dougie the night away with no worries. Doll's probably not even thinking about beyond tonight, like when they'll be in high school and some blonde bimbo catches his eye and leaves her in the dust. She'll wonder what the fuck happened to eighth grade. He'll hurt her.

I scoff and turn the TV off.

Despite what Doll tells me, I can't help but believe Leah has had someone else's cock in her all this time and I'm the last thing on her mind. Would I believe Leah would cheat? Hell yeah.

I grin.

Leah deserves cock right now; I don't even think I'd get mad.

**A/N Guys, it is coming. The end is near. **


	33. She's Back

Three months turn into seven.

Yeah, that bitch has exiled me for seven months. Not only have I missed my own anniversary, the twins' birthdays, Doll going into high school, and the twins entering kindergarten, but I wasted my entire summer without them. I even miss Bronx and his furry little ass.

Sooner or later, another few months will go by and Leah will still be as stubborn as ever, and I would've been out for a whole year. Shit, even Doll's birthday.

But at this point, I don't even give a shit.

Okay, I do, but there's not much I can do about it. I've stopped calling, and it's a shame I've forgotten what my own house looks like.

Work is easier without her since that way, there's no one to nag me or complain about how mean I am or how busy I am or how I never have time for family.

I've been in touch with my sisters and dad more than I thought possible these past seven months. It's great to hear they're doing so well… except Rebecca. She's a few years shy of being forty, and is still single. She reassures me that she's perfectly happy and content, but what I don't understand is if everyone finds her and Rach so fucking attractive, then why doesn't she have a man?

I tap my pen against my desk as my eyes scan over the bank statement in my hands. Making sense of it doesn't come naturally because my mind's cluttered, like entering a designated smoking area.

The words turn to gibberish with each line. I squint, but that just makes my head hurt, so instead of straining myself, I put the paper down onto my desk and quit tapping the pen.

I sigh. I've got all this work to do but little ambition. All I can think about is how September is almost over and seven months will soon turn to eight.

My eyes wander and my ears stay alert at the sound of the nuts and bolts being clanked around outside while my men work on various vehicles and motorcycles.

That used to be me.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I exhale sharply and revert my eyes to the picture of my family on my desk.

All I did was get sick and say one stupid thing, and I got banished away from them forever. I could be psycho and deny Leah's wishes by returning to the house everyday, banging on the door like the police breaking up a college frat party.

I've been a good boy; shouldn't I get some probation for good behavior?

Did I even mean what I said? No, I didn't marry Leah for Doll's sake. I married her because I love her just a little too much. I wanted her to be mine forever, and now that I did that, I've fucked everything up and broken the sole constitution of my vows.

Alright, I did promise there'd be pain. But not three—almost four—years' worth.

I bounce up from my office chair to stand. I loosen my necktie at first and then just decide to take it off all together before unbuttoning the first three buttons. I toss the accessory on the desk and face the window.

My fingers burn to pick up the phone to call Leah, but I won't. I take my phone out my pocket, anyway, and scroll through our past conversations. We were so cute back then.

In the midst of going through our old texts, my phone vibrates and a message box pops up on the screen. Eyebrow cocked, I take note that it's got a photo attached. I open it and see it's from Doll.

The photo reveals half of Doll's face as she aims the camera at the twins in the backseat of the Rabbit. Teigan is asleep while Jacob sucks on a cranberry juice box.

I smile. It's always nice getting good morning texts, especially when it's this early and the day's just getting started. I reply with the typical, "Have a good day" after saving the picture.

That should get me through the rest of the day.

With this sudden boost, I manage to do some filing and get the banking and finances and such together. I started at seven and finished by eight-thirty, even though I still have a bunch of other shit to get done today.

Around nine-ish, my phone vibrates again and it's another picture message from Doll, revealing her making a goofy face in the camera at a downward angle as she is hiding her phone under a desk to take the photo. I'd usually get stern and annoyed at her using her phone in school, but with the rut I'm in, I appreciate it and laugh a little, replying with, "Don't blame me when you get your phone taken away."

Over the next hour, I finish more filing and review some job applications. I'm even called to the work floor to deal with an upset customer, and I think I dealt with it pretty well, despite wanting to take a drill through the person's head.

I go back to tapping the pen on my desk to keep me occupied again.

Now that I know what Doll's doing, I wanna know what Leah's up to. All of the kids are in school now, so she's gotta be doing something to keep her busy during the day. She's probably got a job as a waitress or something. Actually, Leah can't even wait on me, so I doubt she could wait on a stranger. I see her being a teacher, actually. Or maybe even a—

That's when my cell begins vibrating again within my pocket, along with my ringtone sounding off. It's probably Doll calling me to bring her lunch money.

Confused that it's an unrecognizable yet local number, I decline it and get back to work.

I get halfway through a job application before the same number calls me again. Maybe it's a customer? If so, then why would that call me on my cell instead of the work phone?

Hesitant, I press the green button and clear my throat. "Hello?"

There's a quick pause in between me saying that and the sound of someone clearing their throat. "Jacob? Jacob Black?" they ask.

I quit the tapping. "This is he," I reply. "Who's this?"

"This is Dr. Halstead of Silverdale General," the female—gruff, yet calm—voice says into the phone, and that's when I tense up. Why would a doctor be—?

"I'm calling in regards to an incident that occurred earlier this morning at Silverdale Elementary," she starts, and that's when the tightening in my chest and neck begin painfully. I freeze.

"An in-incident?" I repeat.

"Yes, sir," she says calmly. Too calmly. Did she say Silverdale Elementary?

"It's best that this be explained in person. Your wife, Leah, is here and in need of great consoling."

_Oh my God._ I gulp.

Something's happened to the twins.

My mouth goes dry. "No," I mutter to myself.

Before Dr. Halstead can respond, I exhale nervously and my fingers begin to shake. The phone rattles around in my unsteady hands.

"I'll be th-there in a sec. J-just," I stutter, but can barely finish. "Make sure Leah's okay."

Before getting her word, I hang up, already assuming the worst. Oh my God, something's happened to my babies. I can't lose my wife and my twins. I just fucking can't. . .

Like clockwork, I shut my office down and tell one of my assistants that I have to leave for an emergency and to take over.

The bike just doesn't vroom fast enough through this small town over to the Silverdale General Hospital, where nurses damn near have me in a straitjacket when I burst into that bitch in hysterics, demanding to know where Leah and the twins are.

After taking an elevator to the second floor, I'm led down the generic and creepy white hallways by a couple nurses. My heart is halfway out of my chest when we get farther down the hallway to the ER section.

_My twins are dead_ is all I can come up with. There's nothing else to it. The babies that Leah and I conceived, raised, and nurtured for the past five fucking years are actually dead and gone. I held Leah's hand as tight as possible when she pushed their tiny bodies into this world, and nearly broke down in tears because I thought I was changing a diaper wrong.

It feels like hours later until I finally see Leah sitting in the waiting area, head in her hands, elbows resting on her thighs. My chest tightens again.

"Dr. Halstead should be out in a few minutes," one of the nurses informs me before creepily crossing over into the ER through the swinging doors.

Unable to move, I let out a relieved sigh when Teigan hops off Doll's lap as she sits next to her mother. The little one runs to me frantically, arms open. I crouch to scoop her up and kiss her face repeatedly as she weeps. She's still the same tiny, vulnerable, perfect creature she was when I first laid eyes on her April third of twenty thirteen at 11:39pm in Forks, Washington.

"Daddy, there's something wrong with Jacob," she informs me, face wet from tears. I tuck her into the crook of my neck and caress her head, just appreciative that I have her in my arms after so long.

"It's alright, princess," I whisper into her ear, rocking her back to serenity. She holds me tightly with her arms around my neck and legs barely strapped around my torso. "Daddy's got you."

I said those same words the first time I put a onesie on her, when she learned to walk, when I taught her how to ride a bike, when she learned to swim… _It's alright. Daddy's always got you._

But I can't do the same for Jacob. I don't have Jacob; it's my fault he's in the damn ER at five years old for whatever reason, because I let him slip through my fingers. I wanted a son, I got one, and now he's gone.

My eyes sting. I shouldn't assume that just yet. I don't even have a story yet.

That's when I connect eyes with Doll, the only one who isn't crying. Her face is a stone and it's hard to believe that's the same girl who was sending me goofy pictures in homeroom just a while ago. Her hand is caressing over Leah's back in comfort.

I stride over, knees weak, and have a seat in the waiting chair beside her.

"What happened?" I ask for the hundredth time since arriving in this goddamn place.

Her stare is soft and innocent, which helps my nerves. She's always had such gentle and relaxing eyes. Ever since she was a little girl, Doll's been like a bag of weed in the sense that she keeps everything level and sane. She instantly makes me feel better even at a time like this.

Just as she parts her pink lips to answer me, Leah lifts a hand to stop her.

"I'll tell him," she says and finally reveals her face. It's dry to my surprise. She just looks hella tired. Her expression may be somber, but I always find beauty in it. My insides feel like they're melting when she looks at me.

Taken back, Doll shuts her mouth.

"Doll, why don't you take your sister downstairs for a snack from the vending machine?" she suggests. "I gotta speak with Jacob alone."

I shut my eyes. Resistant, Tee lets my body go and takes Doll's hand. Tee gives me a slobbery kiss on the nose before glancing at Leah for confirmation. Leah nods with a side smile and the sisters stroll off, hand in hand. We both wait until they exit the swinging doors.

Leah's head droops, but I tap her by the chin to lift it back up and look at me. Her saddened eyes are painful to stare back into, but it's reassuring.

She cares.

"Are you gonna tell me what's happened?" I ask again, and she nods slowly.

Her face is actually pale when her lips part to speak.

"During a bathroom break this morning, Jacob was ambushed and attacked by someone who crept through the bathroom window."

I take this info in sourly. "Attacked?"

She nods slowly again. "The cops think it was premeditated, and that this wasn't a random act of violence solely because he was the only one in the bathroom at the time, and if whoever did it wanted to kill him, they would've. They described it as a warning."

Her last words make a few things spark. A warning, huh? This was supposed to scare us.

_Oh my God._

"What's the damage?" I ask and lean closer to her body. She does the same.

"So far, his right leg is broken in several places," she begins. _So far?_

"He got quite a bit of stitches in the side of his head from the cuts of glass from the bathroom mirror," she informs me and rubs her two fingers about the side of her head to indicate. "And—ugh." This is where her voice begins to break.

I press my forehead to hers and nudge our noses. _Stay strong_, I'm pleading to her.

"He's got three knife wounds across his torso," she finishes, sucking in tears and rubbing her stomach. "The doctors found drugs in his system. That bitch did the same shit to him that she did to me."

My breath goes cold. There's no way of proving it was her in a court of law, but that shit won't matter. The only court of law she abides by is her own.

"She's back," she confirms and lets a single tear go. "That cunt is actually back."

"She never left," I correct her. "Have you seen him yet?"

She shakes her head and lets her eyes water over like the first rain of the desert. I bring her closer because she's not the only one who needs to be held.

"They've been keeping me updated well enough, though. His teacher found him soon after the incident, so he didn't lose a lot of blood."

That's a relief.

The two of us sit in quiet, plotting an attack in our heads. We should've even have to call up the pack now that she's exposed herself and in their line of patrols.

That reminds me.

"So, Doll," I begin, and she lifts her head.

"What about her?"

"She's not, uh." I check around me. "Phasing?"

Leah shakes her head and grins sadly. "No."

Another relief. I pray the line ends here. Neither Jacob nor Teigan should have to endure this.

For the first time in a long-ass time, Leah caresses my cheek; I calm down.

"It's time for you to come home," she suddenly says. "I won't lose my son and my husband."

I blink. "Leah, are you sure?"

Her ponytail brushes against my face when she buries herself in my chest.

"You're coming home tonight, do you hear me?" Her muffled cries go only heard by me as they drown out into my leather jacket. "I miss the fuck out of you. Why couldn't you be psycho and force your way back into the house, you dick?" she cries, and I just chuckle.

"Alright, baby," I agree. "Daddy's coming home tonight, okay? You waited seven months for me to force my way back home?"

She sniffles and nods, smearing her makeup all on my shoulder. I don't even mind.

"We can't ever be apart again. Ever," she adds.

This is what I've been waiting for. It's nice being welcome again, but not under such circumstances.

She finally lifts her face out of my neck. "The doctors said that he'll need to stay overnight."

I process that. "I'll take you home if you wanna—"

"No," she interrupts. "I'm staying with him."

"Alright," I respond weakly, taking in her broken appearance with great sympathy and yearning. "I'm gonna stop by the house really quick and get some clothes for us," I say and stand. She stands with me, never letting go of my hand. She's freezing.

She barely nods, head still drooping as she reaches into her jeans pocket and passes me the keys to the Rabbit. I take them and put them in my own pockets.

I should be gone by now, but there's this hold she has on me. My feet don't move from their planted spot in the tile of this eerie hospital hallways.

She leans in, eyes facing downward, lips pouted. I meet her halfway and press my lips to hers urgently.

Her response is immediate when she wraps her arms around my neck just as Teigan had. I embrace her tightly, our lips folding over each other's. Her mouth is vibrating.

I'm first to let go, and she whimpers when I do. I apologize with my eyes.

"Promise you'll come back," she whispers and my thumbs press farther into her hip bones.

"I swear to God," I promise and peck her face. She blushes and finally lets me go. We share a heartfelt look before I walk backwards out the same swinging doors Tee and Doll went through. I'd better hurry; I don't want her to be by herself.

I pass Tee and Doll on my way out and I tell them I'll be back in a few minutes, and to keep comforting Leah. They understand.

It feels like a race against time as I zoom through Silverdale like a mad man to my house. Once I'm there, I whizz through everything, only thinking about clothes and how fast I must be going.

While putting random garments into Leah's overnight bag, it all hits me. Jacob's not dead—thank God—but Rosalie's back.

I'm beyond done with that bitch.

Exhaling, I have a much needed seat on my bed and think to myself.

Overwhelmed, I lay back and shut my eyes.

I fall asleep, but then I wake up.

**A/N *sweats even more nervously* Hope you guys- *wipes forehead* liked this chapter. **


	34. A Wake

_I fall asleep, but then I wake up._

Opening my eyes is the difficult part. After a light nap, I'd expect to spring right up with no problem, but there's a bright-ass white light shining down in my face as if I'm being beckoned to the gates of Heaven.

Once I realized that I fell asleep, I get the urge to jerk forward and begin packing again, but my body is slack.

I let out a groan. Everything is sore.

My eyes adjust.

The bright light fades, but I'm presented with the ceiling of what I believe is Carlisle's hospital room.

_The fuck?_

I try to sit forward, but my forearms have something connected to them. Out of my peripherals, I take in the heart monitor screen and the steady line at which is best assumed to be my heart. There's an IV attached to me.

I blink and groan again.

_Where the fuck am I?_

_Why am I hooked up to a heart monitor?_

_Where's Leah? Better yet, where's Jacob_?

With all my will and might, I push myself to be sitting upward, and my body protests. Everything on me needs to be cracked and stretched; it feels like I've been lying here so long.

Glancing downward, I take in my attire, which consists of just a hospital gown. My legs are covered by a thin, mint blue blanket.

My tattoo… It's gone.

My wedding band is, too.

"Jacob."

My head immediately jerks up to be met with—of _all_ people—motherfucking Renesmee. She's comfortably balled up in a lounge chair parallel to the hospital bed in a pair of sweatpants and a crewneck, hair in a messy bun like she'd just awakened.

I blink at her. She rubs her eyes quickly and unfolds her legs out of the chair to set her feet on the ground.

In seeing her, I conclude I'm in La Push. Why? I have no clue, but I don't like it.

"Jacob," she repeats and stands up, her eyes wide yet tired.

"Where the fuck am I?" I demand.

"L-La Push," she stammers.

I blink at her again and twist my head. My neck cracks.

"Why am I in La Push?" I growl, removing the blanket from over my legs.

She backs away a step. "Huh?"

I glare harshly at her. "Why am I here? Where's Leah? Where're my kids?"

Nessie's eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. "What?"

"My kids," I repeat, clearing my throat as I do. I'm nervous and impatient, so why is she toying with me?

"Jacob, I don't know what—"

My husky timbre growls aloud. "Where's Carlisle?" Carlisle knows what the hell he's doing; Nessie's wasting my time. I need to get back to Leah before she hurts herself as a reaction to the grief.

Nessie nervously sidesteps away from the bed as I hang my legs over the edge.

"C-Carlisle!" she calls towards the door, never leaving my eyes as if she's scared.

Confused and aching, I unintentionally stare at her evilly. She tries to look away, but I bore my way into her skull.

"Why am I here? Where's my wife? Where're my kids?" I repeat, checking my wrist again, but my tattoo is still gone.

"Jacob, I'm gonna try and explain this to you as best as I can, but…" She exhales and puts her hands up in defense.

"But?" I prompt.

"Please just stay as calm as you can, alright?"

I wait. _Oh, no._ Something's happened to Jacob.

She clears her throat. "Jacob, you've been asleep."

"Yeah, I know." I nod, and she quirks her brow. "I went home to get clothes for Leah and I for when we stay over in the hospital and—"

"No," she interrupts and backs away again. "No, I mean, you've been asleep in a coma for six years."

Perplexed, I rub my chin. "Excuse me?"

"Jacob," she murmurs when she notices my form shake. I wanna control it, but—

"A coma," she repeats and backs into the corner as farthest from me as possible. "You've been in a coma for six years because—"

I chuckle without amusement. "Where's Leah?" I demand, but Nessie's lip just quivers in fear.

"She's—Jeez, Jacob, just lemme explain," she pleads.

I hop off my bed and the bottom of my feet shiver against the cool tile. She clings the wall as I approach her. "You think this is funny?"

"Jacob, hold up." Her voice shakes as the words leave her mouth, hands still up. I sense her fear, but that doesn't stop me from cornering her.

"Your little cunt of an aunt almost killed my son. Where is he?" My voice rises with every word, and she can't get any farther into the corner.

She's at a loss for words. I'd be, too, but I'm fucking angry now.

"Where's Leah?!" I shout now, only a few feet separating us. She cowers.

"In the ground," she mutters under her breath and dips her head, but I hear her, anyway.

"What'd you say?!" I explode and slam my fist into the wall behind her, causing her to jump.

"Carlisle," she whimpers silently.

"Where the fuck is Leah?!" I screech, body trembling with anger as if I'd phase. My brain tells me to calm down but I ignore it.

The girl before me mumbles something, but I slam my fist again. Her hands are over her head in defense as if I'd hit her. I'm close to it.

"You little homewrecker," I hiss at her. "You tried to ruin me and Leah from the start. Now, where is she?"

She reveals her face from the confines of her hands. I've made her cry—I don't even soften at the sight.

"Dead," she says bluntly.

The word echoes throughout the room and my hollow head.

I tense up. "Excuse me?"

She sinks. "Leah's dead."

Unamused, I fold my arms over my chest. "You fucking liar. I just saw her in—"

"You were asleep. You were in a coma. Everything that you think has happened in the past six years was your imagination."

Still unclear, I back away from her. "What're you saying?"

She relaxes. "Carlisle," she calls a third time, and I pick up his footsteps from down the hall. He arrives a few short minutes later in his casual apparel instead of a necktie and white doctor's coat.

He freezes in his tracks.

"Jacob," he greets me. "You're awake."

I blink and share a disgusted glance between the two of them.

"One of you needs to start explaining now," I request, losing a grip on reality_. _Leah can't be dead! I just saw her! I just saw her. . .

Carlisle sighs and side-glances the heart monitor. He looks just as caught off guard as his granddaughter.

"Jacob, there are some things we ought to discuss, now that you're up."

"No, I'm not discussing shit until one of you tells me where the fuck Leah is!"

He and Nessie share a glance. "I'm not the right person to explain this to you. Just, please, take a seat." Then he gestures to the hospital bed.

Because Carlisle is who he is, I obey and slowly sit on the edge of the bed. I just wanna know what the hell is happening.

"Explain what?" I question. "Carlisle, what does she mean about me being in a coma and Leah being dead?" I panic and give Nessie a dismissive eye roll. Hurt, she gasps and looks to the ground in defeat.  
Carlisle's smile is as soft and reassuring just as Doll's eyes are. I feel bad news coming even though the rest of the day has been peachy.

"Nessie, call Seth," he instructs and deepens my confusion. "Tell him to bring some clothes for Jacob."

Nessie does as she's told and scurries out the room in a hurry. He waits until her footsteps have completely faded out before turning back to me.

"Jacob, I know this must be highly confusing for you," he comforts me and unplugs the heart monitor. "We've been prepping for the day you awaken for years now, but now that it's here, I'm stumped."

"She wasn't lying?" I ask, referring to Renesmee.

"No," he confirms and pulls the lounge chair around as if it's a feather to face me. "Seth will explain everything. This will all make sense soon enough."

Nessie's words refuse to process. _Leah's dead?_

I cross my arms over my knees and shut my eyes. What the hell is happening to me?

Seth hates me, so how is this going to play out? He holds a grudge like no other.

"Leah isn't really dead, is she?" I ask.

Carlisle exhales. "Seth will explain."

I gulp. My throat has created a huge lump.

Carlisle calmly comforts me while we wait, and in that time, I also have visitors. Bella and Alice come to see me, and at the sight of Bella I wanna jump up and choke her, but I keep Nessie's words in mind. Esme comes next with her condolences, but Carlisle explains it's not the appropriate time.

I don't feel at ease or comfortable until Emily and my sisters come through. I've never hugged anyone tighter. Even Quil and Embry's appearances make me emotional.

Even though each person who comes to see me looks nothing like the last physically, they all have the same pitiful and sad expression. I question them all, but Carlisle just shakes his head when they look to him for confirmation.

Seth doesn't arrive until half an hour after Quil and Embry left. Even though he hates my guts, I trust him. Hopefully he'll figure all this out for me.

He enters with a smirk and a pair of jeans under his arm. The moment I see him, I don't know if I should just stare or get up for a hug. Nessie's in the doorway behind him when he enters the threshold, but they interact as if they don't even know each other. They have a child together!

"I'll just leave you two to talk then," Carlisle dismisses himself, patting Seth's shoulder on his way out. He and Nessie exit together and disappear down the hall, so now it's Seth and I.

To my very surprise, he tosses the jeans on the bed and stretches his arms wide.

"Get up and gimme a damn hug," he grunts, and because I miss this guy, I stand and wrap my arms around my baby brother and squeeze like hell. Even though I miss him and he gives off a good vibe, I'm scared of what he'll say.

"Aw, man, put some clothes on." He lets me go and smiles broadly. "Your dick is all over the place."

I laugh now—these hospital gowns hide nothing. "Sorry, man." I grin for what feels like the first time in a long time and reach to the side to grab the jeans. It feels good to know he's not mad at me anymore… But why isn't he?

Seth takes a seat in the lounge chair and gets himself comfortable while I slip on my briefs and the jeans. Once I've got them zipped up and buttoned, I remove the hospital gown and lay back on the bed.

"So," I begin. "Carlisle says you'll explain everything to me."

His smile fades in the slightest and he clears his throat. "Um," he begins and rubs his temple. "I don't know where to start, Jacob."

"Where's Leah?" Seth wouldn't lie to me.

His face wrinkles into the umpteenth sad smile I've seen today. The pity and somber expression returns as he leans over with his legs open. I wait.

"Alright, um, so I don't suppose you remember much of anything?"

I shake my head. "Last thing I was doing was packing clothes for Leah and me at the hospital, I laid down to take a nap, I opened my eyes, and I'm here. My tattoo and my wedding band are both gone and—"

"Okay," he interrupts and nods. "I know where to begin."

Discouraged, I shut my eyes to paint a picture of whatever he's about to say.

"Okay, so, six years ago, you and Leah went on this road trip. You guys were on your way to Vegas and she met you on the outskirts of La Push. I know because she made me swear not to tell Sue when I overheard you and her talking about it on the phone."

I imagine the dimming night sky, and me leaning on the hood of the Rabbit in the deep, ghetto, and abandoned part of La Push. Leah with an overnight bag in hand, rushes to me after tossing it on the ground and our lips collide like we haven't seen each other in years.

Vegas? Why were we going to Vegas?

"Uh, I followed her to make sure she was safe," Seth adds sheepishly. "Then after just relaxing in the car and walking around a bit, you guys drove away. I'd left and went back home and kept my mouth shut to Sue."

"Why were we heading to Vegas?" I ask even though I already have a pretty good idea.

He clears his throat. "To elope. You didn't wanna do it in some chapel with a sleazy Elvis pastor, so Leah found this really beautiful cathedral near Niagara Falls. She told me about it."

I imagine a high ceiling and walls decorated with various artworks of past artists whose eye for color was quite immaculate. There are deep archways and balconies made of gold fencing and massive windows letting in a light similar to that of heaven. It resembles a church with all its windows and an aisle, but there's a throne it seems, guarded by tigers. I like it, so I imagine Leah in her white wedding dress sitting in that very throne, looking just as gorgeous as ever.

"An hour later or so," he continues and rubs his hands together, "there was an accident in Silverdale. Quil, Paul, Embry and Jared were patrolling, so they thought to check it out, thinking it might have to do with the Volturi."

I nod, understanding but not wanting to.

"And, um." He shuts his eyes. "The accident was you and Leah. Sue and Billy got calls from the police and she sent me out to find out what happened. I got there as fast as I could, but when I did…"

My throat and airway tightens.

"Leah was already dead," he eases into the sentence. "The cops think the Rabbit had, uh, flipped over a few times, and I guess exploded because everything was on fire. Paul said that you were bleeding pretty bad and that you were holding Leah's corpse in your arms, refusing to let her go until paramedics got there. Even then you were hesitant to give her away."

My eyes don't leave the ceiling. I don't even blink as my eyes burn from dryness and eventually water over.

I see myself, white hot flames roaring behind me, but I still shiver from the coldness of Leah's lifeless body in my arms. She's got more blood on her than I do.

"No," I mutter and cover my face. Seth sighs. He understands.

"The paramedics found that she was, uh, two months pregnant and we assumed that's why you guys were eloping."

The tears continue to flow effortlessly from my eyes, down my cheek, and along my jaw. I cover my face and my shoulders shake.

It's all rushing back to me. My memory is shaky and blurry, but everything is coming back. Everything that I picture is just how it happened.

I remember going down the one-way street and getting distracted for a split second. I think I was watching Leah sleep and the second I loosened the wheel was when we swerved right into a giant-ass maple tree, flipping the Rabbit over just like Seth described.

It wasn't the crash that killed her, but the explosion. Well, what could've caused that?

I think hard.

"H-h-h-how did the fire get started?" I stammer, my torso trembling. Seth looks away.

"Police said it was probably a gas leak."

My face muscles burn in pain as I try to hold the tears in. Now I remember.

Leah had specifically told me to get my oil changed and get my gas cap fixed because it was loose. I should've fucking listened; she knew what she was talking about!

It's vague, but I remember being upside down and in shock, inhaling the gas fumes and attempting to move quickly enough to get Leah's seatbelt undone. There wasn't much blood because of the instant healing aspect, but she had cuts everywhere.

She screamed at me to go and save myself, but before she could finish the sentence, she slyly undid my seatbelt and I squirmed free just as the flames burst.

I went back for her, but she was already gone. She suffocated… or maybe it was the blood loss? I dragged her body out and tried to revive her, but she wouldn't come back to me.

Leah's corpse was cold despite my body heat. I stood there with her in my arms, staring at what I'd done, too shocked to even cry.

Her eyes were already closed. Her face was covered in her own blood, as were her clothes. All I could do was just hold her and shiver until my pack brothers arrived at the scene.

"What happened next?" I exhale, turning to lay on my back now.

Seth swallows. "Well, she passed that Friday night, so her funeral was the next Tuesday."

I sniffle. "She's in the ground?" I ask in horror.

He nods. "Yeah. It was a nice service, though. It was in Forks and everyone came and she looked beautiful."

"It was open casket?" I cry harder at the image of Leah in a coffin, alone as maggot food.

He shook his head. "No, Sue and I went to the funeral home beforehand to see how she looked before they buried her."

_He's so calm! Why?! This is his big sister we're discussing!_

"What was she wearing?"

Seth thinks hard to remember. "You remember that little china doll dress she used to wear sometimes? With the tutu- ish bottom and white button up top? She wore that."

I can actually see it.

"You didn't go to the funeral, however," he adds.

Of course I didn't. "Why not?"

"You were in denial. You stayed home."

_God, Jacob! You're so selfish! Why, why, why are you so selfish?!_

"How'd I get in the coma?" I grunt and continue to hide my face.

He shifts in the chair. "A week after the funeral, you had had enough, I guess. Your sisters found you passed out on your bedroom floor. You had, like, pounds worth of OxyContin and a bunch of other drugs in your system. Carlisle said you were alive, but just in a deep, deep, deep sleep."

Sounds like something I'd do.

"It should've killed you, but he said your body heat burned it off long enough just for you to be passed out."

Seth and I occupy the room for an hour or so. I just stare at the ceiling, processing that there never was a Baby Doll, Teigan Tatum, or Jacob Jr. There was no Royce, no Bronx, no Carson, no mansion in Silverdale… no sickness, either. Everything that my life has been for the past six or something years was an imagination, an illusion, a simulation. Leah and I weren't ever married, so there was no Leah Black. Now there never will be. I saw everything in Leah's perspective, yet I still couldn't wake up. I should be twenty-five by now.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, turning to face him. His eyebrows perk up in shock.

"Why?"

"I killed your sister," I confess. "If I'd just changed the damn oil and gotten my cap fixed, she still be here."

"It's no one's fault. I didn't blame you then and I don't blame you now. No one does, not even Sue."

Oh my God, how am I supposed to face _her_?!

"If you'd like to see her grave, I can take you when you're ready," he offers. I'd love to, but that's the last thing I wanna see.

"Can we see your mom first? I owe her—" I wipe my face and sigh "—a huge apology."

I leave the Cullens in shame. It takes all the fight in me to not pounce on Rosalie and Bella, but I have to remind myself it never happened. Bella never fucked my wife and Rosalie never tried to kill her. She's sympathetic enough not to scowl at me as Seth and I leave. Bella and Esme want to express their apologies, but Seth informs them that it's too soon. Even Edward shows his sorrow.

Initially entering Sue's house, I uncomfortably stand at the doorway while Seth jogs up the stairs to grab me a shirt and shoes. I wait, leaning against the wall, glancing around like I haven't been in this house before.

Seth comes back down the stairs and gives me the shirt and sneakers. I don't know if I should follow him or stay put as he goes into the den.

I decide to wait, and he comes back into the hallway to guide me into the den. Stepping through the threshold, the only thing I can think about is how Leah and I would chill in this very room on a rainy day because we were bored.

Sue's face breaks my heart when she glances up over her glasses and her book.

She looks fine—perfectly fine. I just wanna get on my knees.

"How are you?" she asks, dog-earing the page and setting the book down.

My heart wants to pop out my chest.

"Numb."

She nods and sits upward, making the leather she sits upon protest. She pats the seat next to her, inviting me to sit beside her; I take the offer and slide next to her. Seth excuses himself so we're alone.

We don't talk.

She just puts her arm around me and snuggles into my chest for comfort. I hold her and rub her shoulders.

Words don't need to be exchanged. She already knows how I feel. She knows I'm sorry. She knows how I felt about her daughter. She knows how guilty I feel.

I think we sat there for a whole hour before Seth returns with the overnight bag Leah had on the night of the accident. He sets it on the table and smiles at me wholeheartedly. I appreciate how he tries.

Sue sneaks out of my grip and pulls the bag toward us.

"These are some of Leah's things. We thought she would've wanted you to have them."

I sniffle. "Sue, I can't—"

She lifts her hands. "No, no. Take them. I'm serious. They've been here a long time, and she'd appreciate you to have them."

Taking the bag from her and imagining what's within, I finally look my bride's mother in the eyes. She's coping well. I'd hate to see me if I was her.

After inviting me over anytime, Sue kisses my cheek and tells Seth to take me home. While in the car, I instruct him to take me to Leah's grave. When we get to the cemetery, I break down yet again on her tombstone, letting it all set in painfully.

She's really gone.

"You let them put you in the ground," I tell her. "You're better than that. You're a fucking queen. Why did you let me do this to you?!" I exclaim, beating the green grass as if any of this is its fault. The red, pink, yellow, and white of the flowers at her tombstone before me blur when my eyes flood of salty tears yet again.

_Leah Anna Clearwater_

_Daughter and sister_

_"Forever A Wild Child"_

_1986 - 2005_


	35. Imagination

They say it gets better.

I think the same motherfuckers who spew that shit haven't ever had a real reason to ever say it.

It's been two weeks and nothing's gotten better. I'm just as depressed as I am now than when I found out what happened. Billy, Rachel, and Rebecca try, but nothing works. The twins have been on strict Jacob-watch in case I try to off myself again.

The pack does, too, but as much as they try, I prefer being alone. It's nothing against them, obviously.

Bella's been a help by coming by and visiting. I wanna see her, but I'm scared of what I'll do to her—I'm still not over some shit that never happened.

Leaving my room is painful. Since I'm back in my dad's place, I'm scared of parting with mine and Leah's belongings. The items in the bag Sue gave me consists of Lee's favorite glass bong, a camera, love letters, a few birthday gifts I'd given her, some clothes—some of them are actually mine—mixtapes, and some of her favorite books.

After trashing my room and throwing almost everything but my bed in the garbage, I change my sheets, sweet trash off the floor, and put her things away. I set her bong neatly on my dresser for display with hers and my own clothes in the drawers. Once reading over the various love letters multiple times, I tape them all in a row on the wall above my bed. I mentally reminded myself to print out the pictures in my camera so I can put them up on a bulletin board when I buy one. Her books and the mixtape CDs all go in the drawers of my nightstand. I'll give them a read and a listen when—or if—I'm ready.

If I don't have some sort of busy work, I kinda lie in bed all day and will myself not to cry. I wish I was back in that coma, separated from her instead of living like this.

Now that I'm awake, there's nothing for me to do. I could morn and visit her grave, but that slowly kills me. I wish I could die, though. I wish it'd been me instead of her. I wasn't quick enough.

Actually, I wouldn't want her dealing with this kind of depression. I wouldn't want her to try and kill herself over me, resulting in a coma and a wild-ass imagination. She should've stayed alive—stayed with _me_. Instead, she chose to save me and get my seatbelt instead of her own. She knew only one of us would survive it, and I wish she'd taken that moment to be selfish and free herself.

But she was pregnant with who would've been Baby Doll or Teigan or Jacob. Why'd she save me when she could've saved the baby?

It doesn't make sense. She never made sense. Fucking crazy is what she is.

I shut my eyes. _It was because she loved me._

My airways tighten and swell simultaneously as my face burns immensely. Swallowing a huge lump and feeling myself begin to choke up, I sit forward and shake my hands to keep from phasing.

_"Jacob, go!_" she screamed at me, pushing me out my smashed car window as I crawled with a struggle out the upside down car.

"No," I muttered, squeezing my face.

"_Leah, stop!_" I screeched back, the air thick with the foul scent of the gas and oil. I had my arms lamely around her waist, reaching for the seat belt, but she was fighting me off. "_Lemme get your seat belt_!"

_"I can do it myself!_" she fought back, panicking at the race against time. I don't even know if she got it undone or not.

"No, no, no, no, you fucking asshole. Why didn't you get her out of there?" I now beat my skull with as much force as possible, the memory too clear and haunting for my taste. My fists do no damage in shattering the images.

My face is drenched and my vision blurs again. I need drugs; I need that way out.

The grief and pain too overwhelming to bear any longer. I spring up and rush down the hall to my bathroom and grab my face razor. I hurry back to my room before I change my mind or before one of the twins hear me. Carefully not slamming the door behind me, I lock it and slide to the floor, leaning against it to catch a breath.

"I'll be there soon, Leah, I swear," I mutter, my lips barely parted as my brain forms a legitimate note. Once I have one, I stand and grab a sheet of paper and a pencil from my nightstand drawer to begin writing.

Razor in hand, I jot everything down from the guilt of Leah's passing to including some of my events and imaginations like Baby Doll and the twins. I make sure to express that my belongings are a free for all to be split between my pack mates, but Leah's belongs are to be returned to her mother. I add an apology at the end and beg for forgiveness before addressing it to my dad and my sisters, then setting it on my dresser next to the bong.

That's when I pound, crush, and disassemble the razor with my fist and don't even flinch at the pain. The blade slides across the floor along with the other parts of the razor, so I drop to my knees and retrieve it.

"I'm coming, Lee," I pray and swallow, hoping this will work better than the drugs. "Just wait for me."

I get a grip on the blade well enough and gulp, drawing the weapon to my throat, prepping for my last breath.

The blade is set just at the tip of my Adam's apple and all it takes is a second of bravery and a quick slice to—

"Don't!"

And in that millisecond, my hand loses its way of intention and the blade flies out of it, under the dresser. I dive for the blade in disbelief, in complete shock that that actually just happened. I wimped out!

Stopping in my tracks, I replay what just happened thoroughly. Did I scream out, "Don't?"

I don't remember doing so.

Chilled and stunned as if the life had been sucked right out my soul, my body takes a slow turn around to face the corner in which the sound came from, and my heart stops and not just sinks, but dives, to my stomach as if it were being dragged by an anchor.

She's standing there, live and well, in what she was wearing that night—a pair of faded denim shorts, a red bandeau under a beige fringe tank top, and matching Converse. Her hair is in the same style of jet black, shiny, collective curls versus her usual waves. Even her makeup is the same.

I'm afraid if I blink, she'll disappear. Half of me wants her to, but the desperate half doesn't. I wanna believe she's really here, staring back at me with a look of great disparity and consternation. She almost looks alive, but I'm aware it's in my imagination.

Confused, I back away from here, and she only puts her hand out as if to invite me or calm me down. Maybe I've already slit my throat and this is heaven.

"Jacob," she whispers and takes a step towards me, the floor not even creaking under her weight.

_Oh my goodness, she remembers my name._

My eyes must tell my panic because when I open my mouth to vocalize, she shakes her head to stop and hush me, but I do it, anyway.

"DADDY!" I screech throughout the house, and she only creeps closer towards me as if it'll make me stop, but I just get louder. She's shushing me but I desperately try to get away. It's not until she's at my feet when I lose it and my bedroom door flies open, Rachel rushing in to my rescue.

In that second, Leah's gone and Rachel's kneeling at my feet with concern.

"What is it? What's wrong? Jacob?" she asks while I stop hollering and stare at her.

She's gone. She was here, now she's _gone_?

"Jacob, are you okay?"

I back away farther and shiver. "She was here."

Her face softens. "Okay, Jake."

"I'm serious, Rach!" I insist, pointing at the corner she appeared from, but Rachel doesn't even turn to look. "She was here, she was, I saw her, she scared me," I chant, tears flowing fluently.

My eldest sister wraps her protective arms around me and I bury my face into her neck.

"Rachel, she was here. I saw her and she looked at me," I plead for her to hear me out but she just caresses the back of my head.

"It's okay, baby," she consoles and squeezes. "Your big sister's got you."

* * *

Another good week passes after that incident.

In that time, I hide the suicide note in my dresser drawers and throw the blade out after finding it. Bella and the pack stop by numerous times, and as much I appreciate them, the only person I'm truly comfortable seeing was Seth. I guess this depression is similar to what Imagination Leah went through when Imagination Rosalie stole her ring, broke her arm, and stabbed the living daylights out of her. I can relate now, I guess. I need someone to throw me against a wall and literally slap sense into me like I did her.

I never meant to do that to her. Even though I know it never happened, it just makes me feel guiltier.

What I wanna know is from where did the story I'd been in manifest? Was that some sort of alternative reality if Leah had survived? She would've faked her death and ran from me for six years? Did I even know she was two months pregnant?

Doesn't matter now because I have no Leah, no marriage, no children, no job, and no life. Everyone else moved on after Leah, so why didn't I? Why'd I try to overdose then put myself in this mess? Why couldn't I do what I supposed to and die that night with her?

I can't say I dislike whatever company I get, but it's worse when I'm completely alone. My family finally trusts me by myself.

The house is just scary, and my bedroom makes it worse. No matter how many times I change these sheets, every set has her all over it whether it's her scent or a stubborn makeup stain. She took my virginity on this very mattress, and that haunts me mostly at night. I can't sleep knowing that at some point in time, we were making love on this bed and in the middle of the huffing, puffing, and panting, she moaned she loved me for the first time. Taken back, I finished and came moments later, unexpectedly ready to cry because I was so happy. Embarrassed, I tried to rush out, but she stopped me and wiped my tears, begging me to stay. I've never cried in front of anyone before her. Even when Mom died, I held it all in until I was alone in my room. I expected her to laugh at me for crying but I'd underestimated her, realizing that I forever had a soft spot in Leah Clearwater's seemingly cold heart. She'd handled the case very maturely for someone of only seventeen at the time.

Some would disagree and say that saying she loved me after only a month of dating was too soon, but it was different with us. We'd known each other all our lives, and when you grow up with someone the way we did, you eventually fall in love how we did: quickly.

These sheets are dirty no matter how many times I wash them. Whenever I can sleep, I wake up in my own sticky, white, mess of sperm. I'm too old for wet dreams, let alone ones about my deceased fiancée.

So instead of catching up on school and being how I use to be, I spend my days in bed, facing the wall and fighting hallucinations of Leah in her fringe top and shorts.

Like clockwork, she returns every other night, just standing there, watching me like she needs to protect me. I know she talks, but why won't she say anything? She possesses human characteristic like blinking and smiling, but she just usually stands there.

So I offer conversation.

"Is there a reason why you scared the shit out of me last week?"

She rubs her elbows nervously. "I wasn't gonna let you kill yourself over me."

I nod. "Why?"

"You've got a bright future."

"'S'not that bright without you."

Her cheeks turn red.

I just stare at her some more. I'm talking to a wall, in all honesty.

"So, what are you? A ghost or an angel?" I wonder, removing the covers off of me to sit on the edge of the bed.

"A figment of your imagination," she answers jokingly. My face doesn't even crack a smile.

"Ugh, fine," she groans and rolls her eyes. "Technically, I'm not supposed to be here. I'm more of an angel than a ghost."

"Then where're your wings?"

She sighs. "That's a stereotype."

I grin now. "I'll bet heaven's pretty nice."

"Hard to enjoy it when I spend all my time worrying about you."

"I'm sorry," I tell her and shrug. What else am I supposed to say?

"You don't have to be sorry for feeling this way." She smirks. "I'd miss you, too, but I wouldn't end myself because of it."

"You don't have to live with the guilt," I object and slap my knee. "Shit, you don't have to live at all."

Her scowl is more sad as opposed to angry. "I don't remember you being so mean."

She sounds just like Imagination Leah!

"I'm sorry, baby. It's just that I had a great life. We had a great life."

She strolls around and I watch her closely, afraid that if I turn my head, she'll be gone.

"I saw," she replies. "We had some really beautiful kids, huh?"

I get choked up. I don't like how she uses the past tense. "Yeah. How'd it happen? Why did it happen? I could've dreamed about anything else, so why that?"

Shyly, she toys with the fringe at the bottom of her top, facing down. "I don't know. I didn't mean for it all to end so fast. I wanted to see for myself what we would've been."

"If it was so nice, then why'd I wake up?" I question.

Her golden eyes direct towards me. It stings. "It wasn't a happy ending."

_No ending is ever happy. Just look at what's happened here._ "What happened?" I wonder.

Leah traipses around slowly, dragging her finger about my furniture until spookily transporting from one side of the room to the other without walking. She's suddenly before me, hand out, and glowing with heavenly fuzz and dust. I'd say her appearance is more in favor of her being a ghost than an angel.

Careful not to move to quick, I separate my thighs so she can comfortably stand before me. Even with this intimacy, we're still not making contact. Her beckoning hand reaches farther until eventually settling on my cheek. I'd be at better ease if I could be certain of her actually touching me.

"You don't even feel that, do you?" she asks in great curiosity. I shake my head honestly, and she slowly draws her hand back.

The sad, discouraged look on her face along with the "not a happy ending" bit helps me put two and two together.

"She leaves me, doesn't she?" I finally ask. "You leave me," I correct myself, and the angel just exhales.

"I'm sorry."

"What'd I do?"

Her presence alone doesn't make me angry. Imagination Leah divorced me—not Dead Leah.

Now taking a seat on my knee, she curls the ends of her hair, figuring out how to answer me.

"Did I cheat? Did she cheat?" I try, but she shakes her head.

"She didn't have a reason," she replies. "She just said she couldn't get hurt anymore. She said it was emotional abuse, but that wasn't the case. You know how I can be a little overdramatic." She cracks the joke with ease and I guess it's funny in a discussing-my-coma-wife-with-my-dead-fiancée-who-a re-the-same-person kinda way.

Unsure, I wrap my right arm around her waist and even though I can't feel her skin, the view is just fine. She smiles.

"How long after Jacob got hurt did we stay together?" I wonder.

She does some math. "Five years."

_Hmph._ Eleven years isn't so bad for a first marriage.

"How much of my money did she take?" I joke, and she laughs with me.

"Only half," she answers, and her laughter subsides. "Yeah, um, the child custody battle wasn't much of a battle, really. You guys ended on good terms even though it wasn't consensual. It was a bit bitter towards the end, and you held on for as long as possible, but eventually gave in and decided on joint custody. She and the kids moved back to La Push and you stayed in Silverdale."

Her spirits are so light as she tells me this. That sounds terrible. I think I'd be miserable.

She notices my shock and just giggles. "It wasn't as bad as it sounds. You were upset, obviously, as was she and the kids, but you guys still had a healthy relationship. It wasn't bitter or anything. You saw each other often when you came up to La Push every weekend for the kids."

Good to know my divorce was smoother sailing than the actual marriage.

"It's 'cause she still loves you," she adds and caresses my ear. "She let you go because she still loves you."

That makes sense, I guess. "Can you show me?"

She looks at me with sensitivity. "I'm breaking rules by just being here and talking to you. You're asking for a lot."

"Heaven has rules?"

Her forehead touches mine. I don't feel it, but I can sense it.

"I'm sorry."

"I understand." I really don't. Maybe if I knock myself out, I'll conjure up something.

"Jacob, you know I would if I were allowed."

"What happens if you do?"

"I'd rather not find out."

She wasn't always such a good girl. I miss that. I'd obey, too.

"You know they'll never be anyone as good as you," I remind her.

Her bottom lips pokes out. "Renesmee is still your imprint."

"Leah, I don't—"

"No, you do," she interrupts. "Obviously, you and I weren't meant to be together whether it's in real life or a coma. Now, I'm not saying you have to replace me, but—"

I'm to my feet in a second, and she's already appeared back in her corner.

"I don't want her," I state loud and clear.

"How would you know if you don't try?"

"_Try?_" I repeat incredulously. "After all the shit that's happened? I can't. You wanna know why? I don't want her, alright? The one I want is dead!"

Hurt, she backs away and covers her face. "I just want you to be happy."

"I'm fine being with you!"

Her hands fly off her face. "How the hell are you gonna be content with spending the rest of your life with me, a fucking figment of your imagination?" she demands. "You can't hold, feel, touch, or even kiss me for that matter. I can't even leave this room!"

"I don't care," I lie. "I'd rather stay in this room with you forever like how it was supposed to be."

Her arms cross along with her hip popping out. "You can't even fuck me."

"I don't care. I want _you_, not some fucking imprint."

"Don't you get it?" She puts her hands out to me. "I'm dead for a reason. You were always meant to be with Nessie. If you weren't, I'd still be here. There's a reason you cheated on me with her in your coma. She's your imprint."

I don't have to believe it if I don't want to. "No."

"Why are you _so_ stubborn? If you won't try for yourself, try for me. I love you and you know I just want the best for you. You're gonna be happy with her, I promise." She folds her hands in a prayer position. I unfold them and look down at her palms. She's sporting Sarah's ring on her left hand. I gulp.

"Try," she begs. "For me."

Leah knows those two magic words always work. Even from the other side, she has hold of me. I can't even say I don't like it.

Hours later when I lay down to rest and she's left for the day, I force myself into a lucid dream of what Leah and I would be like five years later and divorced.

**A/N. . . So, um, yeah. Review, favorite, follow. **


	36. A Volunteer

Morning soon approaches. Last night was the first time in a while that I slept the whole night without waking up in tears or sleepwalking into a wall.

My dream was good closure, so maybe that's why I'm in such a refreshed mood today. The weather channel says it's gonna be one of those rare sunny days in La Push, so I might as well take advantage. Maybe I'll visit some people or go to the beach.

So upon waking up, I'm in my bathroom to fix myself up with a nice shave and a haircut. I end up with a buzz cut when I lose control of the clippers.

I brush my teeth and even rinse with mouthwash to get my mouth as fresh as possible. I take quite a bit of time to care for my finger and toenails before moving on to take the shower to scrub Leah from me to free my guilty conscience. I can still feel her cold skin against mine. Seeing her lifeless body in my limp arms is gonna be in my memory for years and relationships to come. I scrub harder and shut my eyes. I failed her, and I can't even say I'm sorry.

I convince myself not to think about it; if I do, this morning's grooming will have been a huge waste of time because I'll wanna crawl right back into bed.

Once I'm dried and moisturized, I slip on some khakis, a graphic tee, and sneakers. I consider this look nice given my lack of wardrobe. No phasing for me today.

"Morning, guys," I greet everyone as I enter the kitchen, where the smell of sizzling bacon is originating. I should have waited to brush my teeth.

My chipper tone catches the twins and my dad off guard. They stare at me while I reach into the fridge for juice.

"Good morning, Jacob," Rachel speaks first, looking back at her plate as her fork pokes around. Becca tends to her frying pan of bacon and her pancakes, flashing a tint smile. My dad's smug expression is perfect.

"How are ya this morning, son?" he asks, flipping the newspaper. I take a swig straight from the jug of milk, and my sisters groan in annoyed unison. I smirk.

"I'm good," I reply honestly. If he'd asked me that a few days ago, I would've torn the kitchen apart.

"Sleep okay?"

I nod and twist the cap onto the job. Becca flips her pancake.

"I did, actually," I answer. "I'm thinking about just taking a little walk out to town to see some people."

"Stop by the Cullens. Bella's been calling here everyday to check up on you," Becca chimes in, dropping the golden pancake off the spatula onto her paper plate.

That makes me smile. _Good old Bella._

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's a bit thirsty." She giggles, and I roll my eyes.

"She's just my friend," I insist. "You know what those are right? Friends? Ah, nevermind."

"Bite me," she retaliates in between chews of her food while Billy laughs at us.

"Anyway," Becca continues, "she said she wants to see you. You should visit her today."

I should, but I might run into Nessie, and I owe her a huge apology. "I was gonna see Sue today."

The air gets thick at a Clearwaters' mention. Or at least that's how it feels to me, but Billy's smile is reassuring. "Seth's been calling, too," I add.

I feel Rachel brewing up something smart to say, but she keeps it to herself.

"I'll tell him you guys said 'hi.'" I lean on the counter and watch their faces. They're waiting for me to explode, but I don't think I will. I'm sure I won't.

"It's nice how people have been so welcoming." Rachel swallows and dips her finger in excess syrup when she's done eating. I expect some sort of insult afterwards, but when I don't feel one coming, I just nod in agreement. It does feel good to be home.

My plans to check up on the Clearwaters are stopped short when I head over to their house and find they're not home. I shouldn't have expected them to be at home all the time, which is kind of eye-opening for me. Sue lost her only daughter and was able to move on. It's inspiring, actually.

So my route takes a swerve for the beach. The Cullens are quite a walk away and I don't feel like phasing. I'll call Bella later.

Strolling through the woods to the beach, I begin to whistle happily to myself. Hands in my pockets and head towards the ground, I take this time to reminisce on the colorful alternative my coma presented me with. Now I know what the future would've held for us, and as much as I hate to admit it, Leah and I weren't meant be together. Granted, we were together for eighteen years—I like to include our six-year separation—but eighteen years isn't forever. Well, maybe it will be, considering she was buried with Sarah's ring. That way, I can think of us as married even if our wedding was getting into a car crash.

That's a tough pill to swallow. I've been gulping it down for three weeks now, but it feels good to be outside again. It's nice to hear birds chirping and waves crashing and all that good junk. My room's a nightmare if I'm in there too long.

I miss her, but I feel comfortable knowing she misses me, too. I hope my mom's keeping her company.

The rough waves of First Beach get louder and louder, and I pick up my pace to get there faster. Checking my phone's watch, I take notice that I've been strolling the woods for hours and I've been lapping in circles. I must be distracted.

Even as the clear air and sea salt get more potent, I slow up a bit at the sound of what I believe is children. Fucking great. The day I decide to be out and about, I get to share my beach with some loud and nasty kids. The only kids I enjoy are my own, even if they don't exist.

I emerge from the trees into the open space and cross the parking lot. Glancing over the beach, it's practically empty except for the moderately-sized cluster of children who occupy half the beach. A few other people are here, but they're way off my usual side of the shore, so despite the noise, it should be a good trip. The parking lot is cleared out, too, and the only vehicle here is a big-ass white van with a huge cross and a cartoon sky design across the sides. I guess that must be their ride.

Ignoring the children, I have a seat on the warm sand and remove my shoes to enjoy it. The sun's not its brightest, but it's pretty humid out here. Tuning the kids out is easier than I thought.

Speaking of kids, though, I really wanna know what happened to mine. I know Leah's dead, but where are the twins? Where's Doll? I like to think they're still related, even as it was just a dream. At least I know I'll be a good father but a shitty husband, which makes me think. Is IDS even real? Am I already dying of it now even if—?

My attention span dies out when above my head, a red frisbee flies forward and lands into the tide. Before I can think to get it, sand is flicked in my direction by some brat's tiny feet as they unnecessarily kick behind them as they run.

Annoyed, I stand to shake the sand off my clothes and complain. Just as I open my mouth to do so, I immediately shut it when I get a look at the kid.

It's like looking at Leah as the child—who doesn't look older than six years—grabs her toy and faces me with an apology prepared.

"My bad," she says.

I don't even respond. My jaw just dangles at the resemblance. Am I still in my coma?

She's got the same green eyes, pretty face, curly black hair, tan skin, athletic build, and spunky stance as Doll. Then in the middle of all of it, there's my pudgy, fat, pig nose that she sports beautifully.

_Holy hell._

Gulping and resisting to give her a huge hug, I just nod. "No problem, Doll." I bite my lip immediately and curse myself. Now I sound like a pedophile.

She appears just as confused as I expect her to be.

"How do you know that's my nickname?" she questions, taking a few wet steps towards me.

_Because that's what your mom and I called you._ "Huh?" I squeak, and she just shakes her head.

"That's my nickname." She grins. She has braces. "Doll or Baby Doll. Whatever works for you."

"I didn't," I lie, and my knees wobble unsteadily. "I call everyone Doll."

She laughs. "Even boys?"

How is she this calm? We're like Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker right now, and she's actually smiling. Ugh, she doesn't get how tense this encounter should be.

Astonished, my fatherly instincts come out. "You shouldn't talk to strangers."

"Isn't that what you're doing right now?" She bats her lashes and smirks. That little smart ass!

"Alex!" I hear behind me. Both of us whip our heads to the familiar sound.

My eyes widen. It's Renesmee.

My knees continue to wobble, but I stand my ground.

"Alex, didn't I say to stay over there where I can see you?" she asks rhetorically and sternly. It's almost motherly. Wow.

The child rolls her eyes and waves to me before skipping out the water and to where Nessie was pointing. I watch her for a minute until she reunites with her friends, and then take a few seconds to take in Nessie.

Last time I saw her, she was in sweats, hiding her figure completely, but these jeans shorts and her tight fitting grey shirt that reads _volunteer_ in huge letters on the back show her off. The shirt has the same logo that's printed on the van. These are her kids?

Everything speeds back up when she turns her head back around to face me.

_Holy shit._

My imprint and I are sharing a moment.

She's staring at me. I'm staring back.

This is how it was meant to be the whole time. It's a harsh reality, but I can't deny the attraction.

"Hey," I finally say while the rapid winds whip her long, red hair all about her face and neck.

She smiles at me. "Hey."

A few more moments pass by. The yelling and screaming of the excited children dies out with each second I look at Nessie. The waves crashing and diving over the rocks turns into just a soft hum of water being tossed lightly.

"So, um, look," I begin and run my fingers through my short, choppy spikes. "I'm really, really, extremely, _a hundred times_ sorry for how I behaved a few days ago. I was going through the motions and—"

She lifts her pale hand to stop me. I shut my lips and open my ears to listen.

"It's totally understandable," she says. "Anybody would've reacted the same way."

I shrug. "I'm just really sorry."

"Don't be. It's a lot to take in."

I nod in agreement. "Seth told me you were in there everyday to watch me."

Her white cheeks turn pinkish. "Just in case you needed something."

"You watched me sleep everyday for six years in case I needed something?"

She looks away to her crew of playing children. "Um, yeah," she answers when she turns back around.

"Why?"

Nessie bites her bottom lip and sinks her pedicured toes lower in the sand. "'Cause I kinda care about you."

"Oh."

"My dad said it's an imprint thing."

"I see." My voice goes husky for some reason, but I clear my throat. "Did you have fun watching me sleep?"

"Not really, but I couldn't stop. Not to sound creepy but it just, I don't know… fascinated me."

"Why?" I ask out of pure curiosity as I begin to walk. She follows.

"I had nothing better to do, really."

"Well, that was sweet of you."

"I guess." She shrugs and blushes again.

I stare at her for a few long moments to take every bit of her in. She's pretty cute for someone who looks a lot like Edward. To distract myself from staring any harder, I raise a question and dig my toes deeper into the wet sand.

"So, uh…" I clear my throat. "What is all of this you have going?" I gesture towards the children as they scurry.

Her pride is in her smile. "I volunteer at this church in Port Angeles, and they have a foster home for these orphaned kids. I help with the activities and stuff to keep them busy so they stay off the streets and out of trouble."

"How long you been at this?"

"Three years now."

"Any luck?"

"Out of the sixty-something kids we started with when I started volunteering, about twenty have been adopted. I wouldn't say if it's good or bad since any type of number is a success."

I look behind me at the blissful youth playing around and having fun. The Baby-Doll-looking one catches my eye again.

"How old do you gotta be to adopt?"

"The church said over thirty, at least," she responds, playing with her knotted shirt. "If it were an option, I'd adopt them all. They're great kids."

She turns and strides slowly back up the other side of the beach. I swerve with her, my eyes never leaving the little girl.

"What's her name?" I ask, pointing at my once-was daughter.

Nessie follows my finger and grins. "Oh, that's Alex. She's been with us a while now."

Of course. "Really?" I ask, pretending to be shocked. "What's her story?"

She chuckles a bit. "Our pastor found her when she got caught stealing food at this Chinese restaurant up in Burbank while he was on a missionary retreat. He brought her to Washington and she's been with us ever since. That was two years ago. She was only four."

"Damn," I respond. "Where're her parents?"

"We're assuming they're dead," she guesses and looks along the shore, trying not to meet my eyes.

"She seems like a sweet girl. She's pretty beautiful," I note in admiration as I turn my head to subtly watch the little girl. I wish Leah were here to see her.

"Yeah," Ness agrees. "She is a sweet girl but, um, yeah, she's got this attitude."

I side eye her. "Lemme guess. She's an eye-roller, an arm-crosser, and likes any type of attention, even if it's bad?"

She stops walking to stare at me. "How'd you know?"

I think I'd know my own daughter.

"A guess. C'mon." I gesture her to me and begin walking again.

"But, um, yeah. All that stuff is about right. It's gonna take the right type of people to handle her since she's so feisty. She's had tons of couples interview her to be adopted, but they're always intimidated by how sassy and independent she is."

I glance at the child again. "Don't I know it?" I mutter.

"What?"

"I said she doesn't seem that way."

Nessie flashes me an open mouthed smile. "You have no idea."

"I bet I could handle her."

She laughs at my cocky tone and punches my shoulder playfully. "You're funny."

I laugh, too. "You seem to handle her pretty well."

"Well, I know her better than any of the other volunteers. She opens up to me quite nicely."

"Well, you're a sweet girl."

The tips of her hair brush against my shoulder softly when the wind picks up. Her scent whooshes my way and when I inhale deep, and her rosy aroma fills my nose with great potency, making me shiver in satisfaction and my mouth water.

_Damn._

"Thanks," she replies. "You're pretty, um… uh—I guess you're sweet, too."

That's the last thing I am. "You don't have to lie."

She whips her head around to check on the kids, and then turns it forward again.

"Okay, fine," she mutters and flips a piece of hair out of her face. "I just don't know you well enough."

"You know I have anger issues."

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. I watch her blink a few times before she shakes her head.

"You don't have anger issues. You just get angry like everyone else. It's normal. You're human, sorta."

That's reassuring. "I don't know much about you, either."

"Some imprints we are, huh?" She jokingly nudges my elbow.

"I guess so," I reply, and stare at my feet as they disappear and reappear in the wet and heavy brown sand.

We walk in unison for another few feet in silence, just enjoying each other's presence. This must be what Leah was referring to the other night.

This butterflies in my stomach are undoubtedly a result of being near her, and not because she's my imprint, but because she's really damn cute. I don't know if I'm feeling this because it feels like I'm cheating.

"Shit, what time is it?" she suddenly asks.

I reach into my shorts to check my phone. "Five twenty-three."

She nods and swerves on her heels. "I gotta get them back up to Port Angeles," she explains and jingles what I'm assuming are the van keys around in her pocket. "I'll see ya, Jacob."

_Shit, she's about to leave?_

"Wait!" I burst out before processing what to say next. She stops in her tracks and turns to look at me.

"Um," I begin, but don't finish. Her eyebrows fly up and she patiently waits for me to talk.

But I can't!

I wanna ask her on a date, but it feels like my jaw is wired shut and I won't allow it to open. I'm far from over Leah, but what if this is the only chance I get to see Nessie around La Push?

It was just last month I found out the two-month pregnant love of my life died on my account in an explosive car accident. I can't just start over. Where am I gonna find another ride or die—literally—like Leah Clearwater? That's right. I can't.

I gulp.

_Try. . .for me_, she'd plead.

Nessie waits, biting her lip.

I run a hand through my hair. "You eat, right?"

The offended look on her face persuades me to rephrase the question before she can respond.

"I mean, uh, you obviously eat. Like, I eat, too! Um, eat me with would like to?" I offer and shake my head when she laughs at my scramble.

"I meant, would you like to eat with me? Like, a date? Like, I get all dressed up and take you out?" I finally ask, making sure I said it right this time.

Stunned, Nessie blushes and bites her index finger. "Oh."

Did I _seriously_ just ask out my own imprint? "I mean if you don't want to—"

"No, I'd love to," she interrupts and giggles nervously. "I'd really like to eat with you."

Oh, shit, that worked. "Great." I grin and dig my hands deep in my pockets. "So I guess this weekend?"

"Why not tonight?" she suggests and slowly backs away.

Taken aback, I bite my bottom lip and hide a smile. _Ugh, I'm so not blushing right now._

"Sure. Why not?"

"Come by the house all dressed up at, like, seven or something?"

My face is on fire. "'Kay," I agree, and she waves once before jetting off to her orphans.

I continue walking and finally exhale. "Phew."

"Oh, and Jacob?!" Ness calls from afar.

"Yeah?!" I yell back, my eyes stuck on how short she is.

"It's good to have you back!" she shouts and waves again.

"Thanks for the welcome!" I wave, too, and watch as she rounds up the remainder of the children and guides them into the van with the church's logo. I stare for a while until Nessie calls Alex along, and when she does, I direct my attention to the child.

She's staring back at me already.

I do my friendliest wave and she actually nods my way.

"Alex!" Nessie calls for her one more time, and the girl lags with slow steps. We don't break contact until we're a good distance apart and she becomes just a figure. Her wavy, raven-colored hair and smooth, blemish-free-and-russet skin become a blur.

I turn away finally as if to say goodbye and a chill goes down my spine.

For the last time, I check behind me and see that the girl is gone.

Guess it's time I start volunteering.


	37. A Lucid Dream (Epilogue)

_Alarms will ring for eternity. _  
_The waves will break every chain on me. _  
_My bones will bleach, my flesh will flee._

_Help my lifeless frame to breathe._

Epilogue_  
_

My knuckles knock lightly on Leah's screen door as I peek into her house to see if anyone will stop by and open up.

"Hello?" I call. "Daddy's here!"

I wait a minute and knock again. Bronx's tags jingle from afar and his nails repeatedly tap against the wood floors as he runs to the door.

"Jacob?" Leah's voice calls.

"Yeah," I respond and await her, but she never comes.

"It's unlocked. Come in," she says, and stunned, I swing the screen door open and step through the threshold, locking the door behind me. I pet Bronx's head for a minute and then he runs off back down the hall, probably to the family room for a nap.

I glance around the room to notice that the kids are nowhere to be found and the TV isn't blaring loudly down the hall. It's Friday, isn't it?

Before I can speak up, in her usual Spandex shorts, torn half t-shirt, and high ponytail, Leah appears from around the kitchen corner and automatically greets me with her usual smile. Her forehead is sweaty, as well as her collarbone. It makes her skin glisten, so thank God for yoga.

"What are you doing, leaving your screen door unlocked?" I jokingly ask as she comes in for our usual weekly hug and cheek kiss. "Any idiot could just walk in."

"Any idiot just did," she replies and gets on her toes to peck my face. I slow the motion down and savor the intimacy before she pulls away.

"Hardy har," I fake-laugh and follow her into the kitchen. "Where're the kids?"

She flings the fridge open and tosses me a bottle of beer. I catch it with no effort and twist the cap, which follows a snap and hiss sound.

"I guess Doll didn't call you like I told her to," Leah says, annoyed and getting water for herself. "She's on a little college road trip with some friends, and the twins are at sleepovers for the weekend."

I'd say I drove all the way up here for nothing, but looking at my ex-wife in a tight-fitting pair of Spandex shorts and tattered half-top with no bra on is worth the two hours.

"Well, since you drove up all this way, I guess you're here for the weekend." She shrugs and fans herself while downing the ice cold water.

I don't know if "here" means La Push or her house. Either way, I get to see her.

"Fun." I sip my beer and follow her out of the kitchen and onto the porch, where she's got a yoga mat along with a stereo set up on a stool.

"You still doing that yoga stuff?" I ask, taking a seat in a lawn chair.

"Well, I don't stay this fit by just eating right," she says, stepping onto the mat.

I agree. "Yeah, you're looking good." That's an understatement. "That gluten-free organic shit you eat has done you well."

She laughs and lies down on her back. "And the chocolate cake, fried chicken, and pizza you eat have done you well, too."

It's been said before and has stayed true to this day. I—nor does any other pack member—do not gain weight. We just don't. We've got fast metabolisms, even in our late thirties.

"Don't tease me. I nearly starved after the twins were born."

She laughs genuinely again and nods towards the stereo. "Press play for me."

I reach over, press the button, and the CD starts back up again. While she bends and twists around like a pretzel, I ask about Sue, and she says that her mom's doing fine, along with Seth and Nessie. She fills me in on the kids for the week and that's when I found out Jacob's having some trouble reading, Tee is taking up soccer next school year, and Doll's graduating at the top of her class; that sounds like my kids.

During some sort of bridge-backbend position, she asks how my week was, and I inform her on the usual antics at the shop. She seems genuinely interested, but I get lost in my own words watching her flip and do all these positions like she's demonstrating for a porn star in training.

I'm familiar with most of these moves (she's used them on me many times) and I don't object. It does raise a few eyebrows and questions.

"So, what's his name?" I ask, taking the last sip of my beer.

Confused, she looks back at me between her legs from the bent-over position she's in. "Whose name?"

"Your little boyfriend."

She scoffs and faces forward. "Not this shit again," she mutters under her breath.

"Come on, Lee," I beg, teasing her. "I just wanna know his name."

"Why do you always ask if I have a boyfriend?"

I shrug. "So I know my lady's being taken care of."

She can't hide a smile with that one. Her chuckle is low.

"Why do you just assume I do?" she asks.

"There's gotta be a reason why you do all this. The beauty treatments and the fitness."

She slides effortlessly into a split and bends backwards to face me upside down. "I do it for me."

I blink at her.

Her eyes roll. "What's her name?"

"Who?" I chuckle.

"Your girlfriend, and don't tell me you don't have one."

It's only been a year that Leah and I split. I think I'd need more than a year to get over her completely and find a new chick.

"I don't have one, FYI," I answer and set the beer bottle on the concrete.

"I'm shocked. Why?" She bends forward and sets her chest completely flat on the ground. Biting my lip, I set the beer bottle on her lower back, and it stays perfectly.

"You'd be surprised how little women are willing to fuck with a thirty-seven year old divorcé with three kids," I say and laugh a little. She reaches behind her and removes the bottle.

"And surprisingly, women find it to be a big turn off when you've got your ex-wife's name sprawled on the side of your torso," I add sardonically, and her head pops up in surprise.

"You didn't get it removed," she says, stunned. I thought she'd be.

"Naw." I sigh and quickly add, "At least not yet."

"Oh." She puts her head back down.

Now I'm curious. "You removed yours?" I ask.

She just looks at me sadly and nods. I pretend to brush it off like it doesn't feel like a stab through the chest, and nod. I expected her to have already had it done.

"I'd date, but I think I'd rather wait until Doll goes off to college in a few months," she says and brings her legs back together.

I nod again. "Uh-huh."

Feeling uneasy and hurt now, my mouth opens to speak before my brain can filter what to say.

"You know since you asked, there is this one chick," I lie and sink in my seat, watching her reactions closely. She pretends not to hear and switches positions.

"I wouldn't say she's my girlfriend but, I mean, she _is_ pretty special," I continue, and Leah's face turns to a subtle grimace.

"Special," she repeats. "Is she pretty?"

"Fucking gorgeous," I emphasize and smirk at her eye roll.

"What's her name?" she wonders, and I say the first hot-sounding name that I can think of besides _Leah_.

"Vanessa."

"Hmph. Do you call her Nessie?"

"Oh, I didn't realize we had a comedian in the building."

She laughs at her own joke, but frowns again once it's not funny anymore. "She sounds pretty nice, I guess. How old is she?"

"Twenty."

At that, Leah nearly collapses onto her mat, but catches herself and stares at me.

"Robbing the cradle, I see."

I shrug. "Well, why not?"

She takes in the information as best as she can without looking sour. Her yoga session ends ten minutes later, and she turns the stereo off, rolls up her mat, and goes back into the house.

I take the beer bottle with me as I enter the house, too, to throw it away. She fans herself and lets her hair down; it's shorter than how it used to be, but it still grazes her spine.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower," she announces and lifts her top over her head to remove it. Her back is facing me when she slyly turns her head, careful to not reveal her chest—like I've never seen it before—and tells me to get something out for dinner if I'm staying. I just lean on the kitchen counter and nod yes, wishing she'd invite me to her shower.

She swishes her glutes as she strides off, making my mouth water. She's teasing me; I hate that.

I browse the fridge and pantry for something moderately tasty and fattening-looking. The most I find are Doll's PopTarts and some peanut butter. I dip my index in the peanut butter and suck it off my finger as I take out ingredients for spaghetti. I hate the gluten-free noodles, so thank God that I don't live here.

Laying across the living room couch, I listen to Leah's singing in the shower along with the running water, imagining what her naked, taut, bronze of a trophy body looks like with the soap suds, hot water, and steam all over it, replenishing every little inch of skin.

I'm a pig but, it's okay. I'm divorced, so who's gonna judge me? At this point, I'm fine with the relationship we have. I don't judge her, and she doesn't judge me. We rarely did before, but when we screwed each other's brains out the day she and the kids moved out, that's when all room to criticize will be scarce.

Leah comes back downstairs with her hair dripping wet down her tank top. Her ass looks pretty swell in her leggings, though.

"What'd you take out?" she calls, and I follow her into the kitchen.

"Noodles," I answer. "I guess you—uh—me—_we_ could fix some spaghetti."

She nods and gets a pot from the cabinet. The noise beckons Bronx out of his bed and he rushes into the kitchen to see what the commotion is.

"You're gonna cook with me?"

"Why not?" When was the last time Leah and I cooked together? We didn't even do that when we were married.

"Well, alright, then." She flips her hair and it hits me in the face. I don't react to it because it's a move Doll does relentlessly now that she's tall enough to reach my face.

I like the time I spend with Leah. It feels like she's my friend again and I consider myself fortunate to be on some good terms with her. I'm happy we're not one of those divorced couples who can't even stand the sight of each other and use the kids against each other. There's still a little bit of nostalgia on my part because she doesn't wear Sarah's ring—well, it's technically _her_ ring—and she got my name lasered off her hip. I don't have the heart to remove hers. It's gonna hurt like a bitch if I do.

But until the twins are of adult age, I'll enjoy my parental duties and using them as an excuse to come to La Push.

When the food is ready and we've sat in the dining room to eat, I closely watch her without her noticing.

"Is it always this quiet?" I ask and twirl my fork around some noodles. She glances up from her bowl and slurps a noodle up.

"What do you mean?"

"Like when I come by every Friday and take the kids for the weekend and you sit here eating dinner by yourself—is it always this quiet?"

She listens and all that can be heard is Bronx chopping on a bone.

"Oh," she says and wipes her mouth with a napkin. "I didn't ever notice. I mean, Doll spends majority of her time out with her friends and the twins are usually at Sue's or something. They aren't really loud, so I can't tell."

I'll bet. "Where'd you say Doll was?"

She eats another bundle of noodles. "College road trip with her boyfri—" She stops herself, but I catch it, anyway.

"Boyfriend?"

Her fork clinks against her bowl. "Hmm?"

"Since when does Doll have a boyfriend?"

Leah's plump poke out funnily. "Today's their sixth month anniversary."

"And when were you gonna tell me?"

"I wasn't," she says honestly. I drop my fork and she just sighs. "I knew you'd make a big deal about it."

"About Doll having a boyfriend? No, she's eighteen so she can do what she wants. It just would've been nice to know."

"I didn't wanna tell you until it was something stable."

My eyebrows rise. "You make it sound like she's been around."

"Well, boys kinda take advantage of the fact that you're not around, so they see your hot daughter and they pounce," she shrugs. "It's like history repeating itself."

I scoff. "Great."

She rubs my shoulder. "It's not like that. Mama didn't raise no fool."

I wouldn't wanna believe that Doll's being passed around like some little slut with her heart on her sleeve because her dad's not around. I am proud of her even if she did decide to take year off after high school to go to college.

After washing dishes and wiping down the counters, the clock strikes nine and the sky's turning over to twilight. Unsure if I should leave or not, I wait for Leah to say something. She just shoots me a confused look and takes my hand to lead me into the family room.

"Leaving already?" she asks.

I guess not.

Like we're nineteen again, we sit on the couch and watch stupid television shows and make fun of ridiculous reality TV celebrities. It feels very home, like being so close to her and relaxed that I forget where and who I am and wrap my arm behind her shoulder.

"Uh." I clear my throat. "Is this okay?"

She grins at me and tucks her head into my bicep like it's a pillow. Her hair's still slightly damp, but I don't mind it.

"It's fine. Nothing wrong with a little friendly gesture."

Yeah. Friendly.

The contact is taken further when she stretches her legs about my lap like I'm her yoga mat. Nervous about crossing a line or setting her off, I keep my other hand that isn't around her shoulder by my side. The heat from her just being this close makes my skin tingle and crawl with anticipation because I wanna touch her so badly and she's teasing me. I'm weak, so I don't stop her from reaching over to my side and guiding my hand to her thigh. She thinks nothing of the contact, so she continues watching TV. I squeeze.

It's just a friendly gesture.

I think we sat on her couch for at least three hours because it's midnight when she yawns first and decides to go upstairs for bed.

Well, I guess now it's my time to go. I'll crash at my dad's.

But yet again, Leah stops me.

"You don't have to go," she pleads, and my pants tighten at how helpless she sounds.

"I don't?" I ask, and she nods towards upstairs.

"I got a room for you."

_The guest room isn't nearly as great as the couch_, I think sarcastically as she leads me upstairs. The first room to be seen is Doll's, then the twins' rooms, and Leah is all the way down the hall. Right next to it is the guest room.

_Great._

"You know where everything is," she says tiredly and drags herself towards me for a kiss goodnight.

Whatever comes over me gets her by her wide hips and gently pulls her towards me. She doesn't object to the contact. In fact, she encourages it, but leaning into me.

"Goodnight," I whisper, and she just runs her fingers along my forearms. "Thanks for dinner and, uh, stuff."

"No problem," she says, and the touch of her skin is almost electrifying. I don't wanna let go.

I feel like a virgin as my hands drift from her hips and up her waist to bring her closer. I'm against the wall now.

"I'll be out my morning," I say. She nods and brings her fingers upward to tickle the skin of my biceps. I unintentionally flex, and she closes whatever space there is between us. By now, she's rubbing against my crotch, playing it off as an accident as she leans in forward with confidence.

I meet her halfway and play with her nose with my own before she giggles lightly.

"Is this okay?" I ask, head ducked halfway in her neck. She shakes her head yes, hands cupped over my chest as my heart beats underneath.

"Nothing wrong with a little goodnight kiss," she promises and makes the first move. I capture her lips and we play around a little with our tongues. My lips softly massage hers repeatedly, and when she makes the first moan, my palms are cupping her ass cheeks firmly enough to feel for her lack of underwear.

The kiss escalates to her removing my jacket and fondling with my belt blindly. I assist her, and my pants are instantly unbuckled and unzipped within seconds. Never parting at the lips, I gingerly caress her hip area with my index, sending a rush of goosebumps against her skin and mine. The cotton of the flimsy tank top stretches between my fingers as I yank it over her head and onto the floor. Like I expected, she's not wearing a bra.

She's panting slowly when my lips travel past her jaw and down her neck and collarbone. Her nails dig deep in my shoulders when I fondle my tongue across her throat. She gulps and moans multiple times.

"Is this okay?" I mutter again, licking upon her moist flesh. She squeaks when my teeth pinch her shoulder.

"Uh-huh. Just," she hisses. "Keep going."

This is wrong. _Damn_, this is wrong.

It feels right.

"Jacob," she moans, pulling my hair. Devilishly grinning, I lift her to wrap her long legs around my waist so I can carry her to her bedroom. I've only been in here once before.

She's resistant to letting my waist go, so I just ease into the mattress with her and plant deeper, wetter kisses on her mouth and chin. Her hands rush to remove my jeans and boxers while I kick my boots off.

I didn't come to La Push with the intention of having sex with Leah, but I guess it's gonna happen, anyway.

Leah's gotten more and more impatient since the last time we really made love. I wanna take it slow, but I guess it's not that kinda party.

I strip her bare as she does me, kissing everywhere my imagination lead me. She's flavored like caramel drippings within a vanilla ice cream and whipped cream sundae; I don't know if it's my imagination or for real. Whichever, she tastes like fucking perfection and I can't bear to not have my few doses. My tongue laps and trails all the way from her throat to the crevice between her breasts, down her midriff, over her bellybutton, and past her hips.

In the middle of licking her down, I take notice of the fact that my name in fancy font is printed right above the extended hip bone just as it was years ago when she got it done.

Why would she lie? I smirk.

"Is this okay?" I tease when she extends her legs open and puts them on either side of my head.

She props up on her elbows, and I expect a huge smile, but she's panting with her hair covering her face, the sweat buildup already making it stick. She gasps when I roughly wrap my arm around her thigh and duck my head.

"Jacob!" she squeals and falls off her elbows. I miss that sound. I miss this taste. I miss how she squirms and writhes around at my touch and vice-versa.

Like I said, this is wrong, but feels so right. I gulp her down like I've been parched for years.

Just as quickly as I got on top of her, she gets over me and pushes me onto my back, nails digging deep within my tissue as she claws downward to my pelvis. The gentle pecks that she peppers upon my skin on her way down are something I've missed as well.

It's hard keeping my eyes open when she takes me in. I involuntarily gasp, and my eyelids droop as my hands wander within her wavy hair to grip a few locks. My mouth seems to always make a perfect _O_ and I unattractively pant like a damn dog. The more intense her sucking gets determines how much my chest heaves and how hard I pull her hair. She usually doesn't mind…

I always wanna watch her do this, but, like I said, it's difficult keeping my eyes open.

The foreplay takes a change in pace when I beg her to stop so I can finally be in her. I'd expect after a year, our moves would be a bit slack, but nothing's changed. I still know her body better than Sam ever could and she still knows how I work. She knows I love the dirty talk and I know she loves when I press my thumbs into her back dimples. She's screaming within minutes.

I drag us out for as long as possible. We start off soft and slow; it's kinda romantic how we cling to each other and stare into the other's eyes. It only stays cute for so long until one of us begs the other to speed up a bit, and it's usually me who has to work harder, but I don't mind.

She drawls out an unladylike groan before throwing her head back and moaning my name. "Fucking shit," she whispers and ducks her head back in the crook of my neck where she licks and bites the skin.

"Damnit," she whimpers and sinks her nails deeper into my back. I squeeze her tighter but don't stop my hips.

"Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jacob. Jacob," she chants into my ear in between nibbling it, making my eyes roll back in satisfaction. I go faster. Her voice gets higher while her legs dangle off my palms.

My lower stomach tightens; I know that feeling.

Deciding it's time I let loose, I stop thrusting momentarily to guide us back to the bed. She takes those few seconds to gasp for some air and wipe my face off with her tongue. Her speech is mumbled when she reaches my ear.

"I need you back," she cries and wraps her legs even tighter around my waist. "No one else can have you."

I moan aloud and set her on her back when I reach the mattress. "Fuck, you miss me?" I dip my hand between her legs to rattle her clit, and she loses it.

"Oh, fuck," she whines and twitches about, her stray hand nearly cutting off circulation in my arm when she squeezes. "Yes, Jacob, I fucking miss you." She jerks her head back again and shakes.

I lean over to touch our moist foreheads together. I bring my hands to either side of her face, forcing her face closer to mine. Her eyes are shut and her lips and chin are quivering.

"Is this okay?" I ask, easing deeper into her. She hisses and nods, never opening her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

She wraps her hands on either side of my neck, playing with the hairs along my hairline. "I love you," she pants, and her chest heaves harder as if saying that alone made her heart rate speed up.

I smile and shut my eyes too. "Say it again."

She extends her grip on my neck to wrapping her arms now. I begin thrusting again.

"I love you," she repeats desperately, and her claws dig even deeper in my back. "I love you so fucking much."

My pelvis pushes into her harder and faster, making her mouth widen and continue to quiver.

"Please," she pleads. "Don't leave me."

This was never how it was supposed to be. This shouldn't have happened. I never wanted this between Leah and I. Physically, it's fine, but mentally, I don't think I'll be able to manage.

I keep going, anyway, and shut her lips with a quick kiss. "Leah." I shake as well, my balls tightening now, too. She must feel it because she meets my thrusts halfway. "Shh, I'm right here," I console her as she begins to resist tears.

So, what happens in a few minutes? We cum and spurt on each other, my dick goes soft, and then what? She pushes me off of her tells me to get out? I resent her for using me even after the divorce and she hates me for taking advantage?

"_Ah!_" she exclaims, tightening around me to ride out her orgasm while I still reach for mine. She assists me and moments later, my back muscles tighten and hump over like a shell as I come inside of her by accident. I shake like I'm experiencing an electric current being fed like wires through my vein and muscles. My knees go weak so I just settle into the mattress above her.

She milks me out soothingly while I mentally try to piece our relationship together. I'm a fucking idiot for jizzing inside of her knowing damn well I'm not wearing a fucking condom and she's got no reason to be on birth control.

Shit, I was an idiot for staying when I saw how fine she looked doing her damn yoga.

Her eyes still haven't opened. I remove myself, but her hands linger on my face. We wait until we've caught our breath before moving anywhere. I'm first to reach for my clothes, but she stops me.

"Wait!" she grabs my arm as well as my attention. I turn slowly to face her.

"You don't have to go."

Nervous enough, I grimace a little and her eyes roll.

"I don't think that's the best—"

"You already fucked me; what harm is staying the rest of the night gonna do?" she cuts me off, and then lets my arm go.

She has a point.

I sigh, she gets under the covers, and I join her. I'll admit it's more awkward than necessary—considering we were married at one point and I watched a baby come out of her vagina—because I go to one side of the bed and she stays on hers. It sucks because I wanna hold her.

"You think Vanessa'll be mad about what we just did?" she asks, envious, and I grin.

"Nope," I answer with a laugh. "I don't think she'd get mad, considering she doesn't exist."

She gasps and sits upward to smack my arm. "What!?"

I chuckle and turn over slightly to catch her shocked expression.

"Why'd you lie?" she asks.

My finger tickles her hip bone, and she jumps.

"Because you got your tattoo removed, but I can see you lied about that." I shrug, and she tries to play it cool but her eyes are still wide.

"I can't help that I didn't want you to know I'm still in love with you," she confesses quietly and buries her head in her hands. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings.

I sit upward, too, and wrap an arm around her to bring her into my chest.

If she still loves me, why'd she divorce me in the first place?

The following morning, I awake before she does and I take a minute to deliberate whether to ditch or not. I would, but this is Leah, not some nameless slut I picked up at a bar. She doesn't deserve that. I decide to stay and fix her breakfast, but that'll make things awkward. I'm hungry and it'd be pretty rude to just eat her food without her.

So I just watch her toss and turn around in her sleep, the comforter sliding lower and lower off her body each time she does. When her breasts are exposed, I get the urge to cover her, but I just stare and get dressed.

Careful to not disturb her, I take a quick piss and wipe my face of crust and sleep. It's been an interesting night.

I jog downstairs and pour myself some orange juice, of which I chug down nervously in seconds. Bronx's tags jingle down the hall; I've awakened him.

What do I say when she comes downstairs? Hopefully she'll talk first and offer the conversation. I feel like I need to apologize.

Why should I, though? I feel like I've been taken advantage of. Okay, that's pretty stupid, but it feels like the only reason she even invited me to stay yesterday evening was to fuck. I'll bet she'll try and play it off as a mistake we didn't mean to make and brush me off.

She's too good. She did use me.

I sigh and wash out my cup. Bronx comes strolling into the kitchen, wagging his tail as he does, before heading to his doggy door to let himself out to the porch.

Following after him are human footsteps this time. I turn just as Leah enters the kitchen, half naked with just her lingerie on. The first thing I notice is my name on her hip.

She stops in her tracks at me, and there's an extensive stare down between us before she speaks first.

"You're still here."

That hurt. She says it as if she just picked me up at some club the night before.

"I am," I reply. "I know I said I'd be out by morning, but it didn't feel right to just leave."

She rubs her shoulder, trying to cover her breasts, and blushes a sheepish red. "That's good, actually," she says, shocking me. "I needed to talk to you."

I knew it. I raise my hand to stop her before she can utter another word.

"Lemme guess: last night shouldn't have happened, you didn't mean anything you said, and you hope it doesn't affect the successful divorced couple relationship we had," I assume aloud, and her face drops. Bet she wasn't expecting that.

She crosses her arms now and looks away from me. Bronx bounces back through the doggy door and exits the kitchen.

"Isn't that what you were gonna say?" I ask.

Her head slowly nods. I scoff.

"Nice," I mutter sarcastically and rush passed her to get to the front door, but her hand immediately grips me before I can exit the kitchen.

"Don't be mad at me." She exhales a deep sigh of regret. "I'm sorry."

"There's no need for you to apologize."

"I didn't wanna hurt your feelings." She finally turns towards me, and that sad, puppy look on her face is adorable yet painful to stare at without feeling guilty.

"You stopped hurting my feelings when you left me," I say honestly and shake her hand off. "I'm only sorry you regret last night because I had fun."

Confused, she cocks her head to the side and presses her lips together. I shrug and she relaxes; this doesn't have to end in a fight.

"I just really missed you. Miss you," she corrects herself and rolls her eyes. "I miss you a lot."

"And that little 'I love you' last night? You meant that?" I'm shocked, actually.

"I did, but I didn't mean to say it. I didn't want you to take it as anything more than just something I said in the heat of passion. I didn't wanna put any ideas in your head."

I scoff again and actually begin to laugh. "You really think I'm that hung up on you?"

Her face doesn't change.

"Leah, I've spent the past year getting over you. It's taken me a year to accept the fact that you don't want me anymore, and as crazy as it might seem, I'm over you."

Her eyes squint. "Really?"

"Yeah," I say. "What we had was beautiful, even with the ups and downs. It sucks you didn't ride with me like you promised, but I'm over that. It was hard to accept, but shit happens."

"Shit happens," she repeats. "So, you've just forgotten me, huh?"

I don't wanna answer honestly so I don't answer at all. "I'm just glad we stayed friends."

"I can't be more?" she asks and leans against the kitchen table.

_Don't do that. Don't drag me in and trap me. Our marriage is over._

"You've already been enough. You were my first for a lot of things. My first girlfriend, first love, first time, first wife, first baby mama, first divorce."

She cringes but she shouldn't. In being first, she's helped me through some shit.

"What we had was nice, but I just don't think we were right for each other. I needed a wife, but I got an Alpha. You just needed yourself," I refer to her selfishness, and she doesn't even disagree.

"You're still perfect," she states and sighs. "There's no one better."

She won't say that when she imprints. _If_ she imprints.

In that moment, the sound of the front door being unlocked startles Bronx off his spot on the couch in the living room. Leah looks just as confused as I do.

"I'll be a minute, just lemme—" Doll's voice shouts from the front door as she shuts it behind her. I exit the kitchen to see her, but end up scaring her when she turns a corner to go upstairs.

"Daddy!" she exclaims in shock, green eyes widening and her hand instantly flying over the side of her neck. The first thing I take in is her attire and all I wonder is why she and any other woman on Earth pay forty-something dollars for a piece of linen to pass off as shorts.

"Hey," I greet her, and she just turns red. "Gimme hug." I extend my arms out and she's resistant to removing her hand and opening her arms.

Once she does, I squeeze and caress her head. "Couldn't call and tell me you wouldn't be here?"

"I, uh, forgot," she says, voice shaking as she pulls away. "Where's Mom?"

As if on cue, Leah enters the hallway now and nudges my elbow. Her lack of clothes strike Doll by surprise. "Forget something?"

Doll puts her hand back on her neck, but not before I can see the reddening bruise shaped like a pair of lips on her crook. I shiver.

"Um, my camera," she answers and points upstairs and backs away. "Wait, you stayed the night?" she points to me now, and Leah covers her mouth to giggle.

Her face turns white, almost. "That's nasty," she mumbles and rushes upstairs.

I laugh a little now, and Leah follows her. That's the last thing I wanted Doll to see. It should be a serious matter, but it can't be when even Doll's taking the divorce this lightly.

The two return back downstairs, Doll with her camera and Leah with clothes on. I catch Doll by her arm before she can jet out the door and sloppily kiss her cheeks, smearing her blush and foundation in the process. She grimaces and wipes my spit and her makeup off.

"Love you, Daddy." She hugs me goodbye and waves to Leah before happily jogging down the porch steps and into the busted-up Range Rover jeep blasting loud rap music through the speakers.

Looking closely, I watch her and whoever give each other a peck. I grimace.

My skin cools down when Leah twines her fingers lightly around mine and pulls me away from the screen door. She shuts it after they drive off, but I would like to have at least met him.

"You want some breakfast before you hit the road?" she asks and continues to caress my arm. It feels good.

That actually sounds nice. Nothing sexual can come of just having breakfast, right?

I nod, and the two of us enter the kitchen to cook together, as if these are old times and as if we're two stupid, stubborn, nineteen-year-old shapeshifters again.

And even if we are divorced, I think I'll be paying more and more visits to La Push after last night's condom-less, birth-control-less shenanigans. It was a careless act, but it's no one's business but ours.

I don't think I'd ride and die with anyone else. She's not my my imprint or my soul mate, but she's mine.

_God knows I'm not dying, but I breathe now._

_And God knows it's the only way to heal now._

_With all the blood I lost with you. . ._

_It drowns the love I thought I knew._

**A/N So after 2 years of putting up with the bullshit, nonsense and shenanigans of this trilogy, it's finally over. I know quite a bit of you are highly upset with the ending and all faith has been lost in me and I guess I no longer deserve to be the Lady of all that is Black and Clearwater. But fuck that; I'm Lady Blackwater till the death. Yes, I ship Nessie and Jacob but please don't get it twisted: Blackwater is and always will be my OTP. In my defense, I gave a clear warning all the way back in chapter one. **

**But now that The Baby Doll Trilogy is over and done with, lemme just give my Fanfic better half beta, MusicTwilightLove, a huge ass S/O because *sniffle* she *sniffle* was with * sniffle* me through the struggle. *ugly cries***

**And I'd also like to thank Lana Del Rey and Ellie Goulding's ex boyfriends for dumping them so they'd write the songs that inspired the fics.**

**And lastly! I had at one point considered retiring from Fanfiction after TBDT was finished but because she's da greatest, my beta convinced me not to. So the choice is yours, my three dedicated readers. I wanna write a sequel. You pick the story. If I get no feedback, I'll just randomly pick. Anyway, love ya'll. Review, favorite, follow...**


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